Chapter 8: Traveling…
"Oh, my love
I know I am a cold cold man
Quite slow to pay you compliments
Or public displayed affections"
-"Cold Cold Man" by Saint Motel
The walk out of the hospital was silent, mostly from Haise wondering if Shirazu and Saint were surprised by his sudden need for a schism, until they made the first few steps out of the front doors.
"This is very sudden," Touka finally said after they had heard their shoes click against the pavement in the bright sunlight.
Haise, who had his head slightly positioned down, glanced up at Touka. "What is?"
Touka raised an eyebrow. "Suddenly saying that you would take me home rather than you go home with your colleagues."
Haise gave a small smile, not offering any other action to make her assume that his smile was not a joke. "Can't a friendly Investigator offer to take his friend home?"
Touka giggled, the sound resembling two separate hums. Haise didn't know if it was for the suggestion or him calling her his friend. "I guess I can't argue with you there," she concluded.
Haise smiled, but Touka's own smile vanished as soon as they were close to turn a corner. She stopped midway, making Haise pause only after he took two steps away from her and look over his shoulder.
"Hey, aren't we going to take a taxi?" Touka asked, her index finger pointing towards one of the cars on the road. She seemed rushed as she did, as her quick movement made her bob bounce.
Haise turned to Touka. "Nah, I don't think that would be good. It's a nice day today, so maybe I could walk you home. You don't mind, do you?"
Touka lowered her finger before shaking her head. "I guess it's a habit." She took steps towards Haise until she was by his right shoulder. "I always take the taxi here and back home."
The word "taxi" would've regularly made Haise immediately think of Torso. It embarrassed him that he would've flinched at the perception of the word. However, he and his squad no longer have to deal with his business (for now) and, therefore, only nodded when he heard the word.
"I see," Haise said, his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat. "Well, it wouldn't hurt to try new things, right?"
"Mm," Touka mumbled as she started walking ahead without waiting for the half-ghoul Investigator. Haise managed, however, to catch up to her side and both continued to walk.
[2] The 13th ward always mistook people for its composed views. It may be the former ward of the infamous (and late) Jason, but it always made up for itself with its outlooks. It was a natural and sunny day, with sights of green to compliment the numerous skyscrapers. There were more people in cars on the roads to whatever destinations they wished to be rather than people on the sidewalks, leaving almost a sullen silence if it weren't for the cars' sonority.
Despite the sounds coming from the slightly busy roads, Haise was appreciative of the fact that there was barely anybody around him and Touka. Even so, he wasn't of the fact that it was too quiet.
"So," Haise started, when he doesn't even know of what to say, "who were you visiting in the hospital?"
Touka, who's head was positioned over towards the cars, turned to see Haise already eyeing her. Her eyes made him wonder if she was scared by that fact.
"Me?" Touka asked, making Haise nod. With a small quirk of her lips, Touka looked forward with no signs of side glances to him. "I was just visiting a friend."
"Really?" Haise said, a bit curious, as he followed her lead once he realized that they were turning left on the sidewalk.
Touka looked like she wanted to nod, but she raised her head a bit. It could pass for a nod, but she restrained herself. "Well, I don't know if it's a good idea to call him a friend."
Haise raised an eyebrow. "I…I don't understand."
Touka finally turned her head to Haise. The blue in her eyes were more brighter than the first time he had noticed them. "Don't worry, it's not like he's a stranger to me either." A small chuckle was heard from her and she put her hands inside her blazer. "I've talked to him before, but I'm not very close to him."
Him, Haise thought, and he surprisingly felt jealous.
"Sometimes, I wish he was awake whenever I do want to talk," Touka mentioned.
Haise slowly let that jealousy turn into guilt once he let that sentence sink in.
"Oh, um, I'm sorry about your friend," Haise apologized, letting his head bend down like a broken scarecrow. "What happened to him?"
Touka's eyes dimmed down and Haise could easily see the corruption of a somber persona. Her purse was strapped along her shoulder, and she clutched the strap with both of her hands. It was held too tightly that it's like she'll grind them into dust if she could. "I prefer not to speak about my friend and his condition, Investigator Sasaki."
That line made Sasaki realize that he's making more tension rather than cutting it. "Oh, I'm sorry, Kirishima-san," he apologizes, making himself look bemused.
Touka scrunched her nose. "It's alright, Investigator." She turned away to focus her gaze on the sidewalk, letting her bob bounce from her sudden steps. It was like a rabbit. "You're actually the first to ask."
"Hmm?" Haise mumbled. Changing his small steps to a single stride, he leaned his forward to notice Touka's face no longer being somber. There was placidity in that curved mouth of hers, and while one of her eyes were covered from her bangs, the gaze was portrayed like the ocean after a storm. He saw that look on Rui when he calmed her down on their first meeting, proving that she did receiver her mother's looks. However, the look Touka had was distinct and benevolent. It was another new facet he didn't mind discovering. It fulfilled him, as he was on the verge of learning something about her.
"Investigator Sasaki?" Touka questioned, taking on on Haise's intrusion.
One split second and Haise never realized that he had stopped in front of Touka. The other split second made him flinch away, and straighten his posture. "Oh, I'm sorry about that."
Touka blinked, making Haise scared that she would feel even more awkward than just their silence, but she forgot the peculiar reaction by giving him a grin. "What? You're not a pervert, are you?"
Embarrassment flooded Haise's cheeks and his eyes widened. "No!" Passerby stared at him by his loud remark. "No, no! I'm not! I swear I'm not!"
He grew afraid that his outburst frightened her, as did the other passerby and as he is a half-ghoul that prefers to reason and not contend, even if she was giving him a grin.
Touka waggled her eyebrow and chuckled. "I'm kidding."
Haise eased the heat in his cheeks and casually yet nervously crossed his arms. "But I promise I'm not."
"I believe you," Touka admitted. "But that last comment must have done something to you, Investigator." Her amusement was enhanced by the same grin as it flashed, like the sun, to a Haise as she started walking past him.
Haise whirled himself until he eyed Touka's shoulder without worrying about a man that bumped into his shoulder. It shook him enough to think back on why he made an awkward standstill and speed-walked near Touka's right hand, faster than a tortoise winning a race.
"I'm just surprised," Haise admitted. "Don't you have friends or anybody you can talk to about this?"
"I do have friends," Touka replied, but didn't seem honest about it. "But it's complicated. They know that I visit somebody, but they don't know his…full condition."
Haise almost replied with an "oh". Almost. Bit he knew that if he did, the conversation would stop. He didn't want it to stop; he wanted it to go on forever. He was doing so well with keeping it up, especially with a woman that's not affiliated with the CCG. And this woman. This woman was indeed, someone wouldn't mind being stuck in a conversation with.
Desperate on finding something else to bring up, Haise quickly scanned their past conversation but had no luck. It was a shame that his reluctance had begun to form a tight wall around himself that he's surprised that he's still being noticed. They still walked, only he started to have his distance, only by centimeters, stretched farther away from Touka. It was a distance, but not one that would be an opportunity to continue. It was one that created an opportunity to concern.
So, letting the wild action of guessing and curiosity get the better of him, Haise asked, "Is he your boyfriend?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Touka wanted so badly to punch this guy in the gut.
Haise could tell that Touka wasn't very comfortable with him yet. He had known that fact when he first appeared to her with his signature white Investigator coat. He's not very advanced in his sense of smell as a ghoul, so he doesn't know if she's human or a ghoul. Even so, it was obvious, not by her judgement but by her actions as well.
Her abrupt halt; her blue bob trying its best in hiding her face; her face gradually creating a shade darker than what he had given before; her wide eyes as she pondered on the question and whether she wanted to lie or not.
It's all written everywhere like the books Haise had in his microcosm of a library in his room.
It miffed him as he realized that that reaction was not what he wanted from his act of concern. What the hell even was that, one would pinpoint straightforwardly. She obviously declared the man she visited was her friend, right? She even said "friend" more than once, especially when it was one of many [3] stranger things to call him that when she barely knew him. It could be part of a humor, for all Haise knew, and he didn't even know if jokes were something she loved.
Haise didn't even take a breath after thinking about what he had just said. All he did was follow. Followed as he halted once Touka did. Acquired wife eyes at his question when Touka did. Followed as his messy monochrome hair covered parts of his forehead as several people walked by, pretending to be unbeknownst with his actions.
He was already subdued by his own words, letting his companion take a strange stronghold of him. He was brittle against the reactions but felt his lips move in synch with Touka's. He figured he would say an apology for his attempt at keeping a conversation, hopefully before she would say anything he didn't want to think too hard on. He knew he would follow as he opened his mouth—
"My boyfriend's dead."
—And let out an undeserving sigh of alleviation.
Everything else in the world around the two didn't halt at the spoken truth. A slight breeze continued moving strands of their hair. It was spring so the sun and sky did now show any signs of gloominess. It was unsettling, Haise thought.
The question before was unsettling, Haise admitted.
Was I unsettling, Haise inquired. And he did not hesitate on this.
Not like it mattered to the world anyway. He just let the words run through his brain, and allowed life to continue.
And for the first time since he decided to walk Touka home, he didn't do anything to let their conversation continue.
Touka remembered when she first met Haise. When she first met him, she thought of Kaneki. She called herself an idiot in hopes of calming down and moving on.
From what she had said aloud, she would call herself a dumbass and it still wouldn't strike herself and what she blurted out.
Everything observed in her aspect was a sum of surprise, sadness, shock, and regret. To her, if she had a mirror, those feelings were no trouble to find. But she wonder what it looked like to Haise.
Sure, she was mad at him for even asking if the man she was visiting was her boyfriend. Hell, it was almost amusing to notice hints of jealousy in Haise's questioning. That, however, was not something that would piss her off. There's a difference with being mad and being pissed, for her. Mad would just be for a small problem and be something she could ignore most of the time. Pissed would make her do stupid things without her knowledge of it.
So then why?
Why would she be this pissed?
So pissed that she even had to mention that her lover died?
That the obvious candidate for her daughter's father was lying in the grave for four years?
Touka could have ignored his question and changed the subject easily, 1, 2, 3. She could have stayed silent or said that she didn't want to talk about it, like when Haise asked about Hide. She could have explained that she wasn't thinking clearly. She could have given any answer to hide anything about her.
But, she gave the one that said the most about her.
Touka wouldn't have blamed Haise if he continued their perturbed silence, but he was already quick in wanting to change her negativity. "I'm very sorry for making you admit that and for pushing too much." His voice was subdued, but his actions spoke louder when he tilted his head to pass for a bow. "I really am sorry."
Touka bit back a nervous reply. She was heartsick once the conversation pointed towards Kaneki, but his exhibition of Haise's regret was causing her more distress. Whatever she must have been showing must be off, as she couldn't tell, as people were glancing at her and the Investigator.
"You don't have to bow, Investigator," Touka assured, deliberately holding her hands out as a symbol for "stop", not doing any good as Haise still kept his form. She already hated all of their frozen embodiments made throughout their walk. "Please lift your head."
"I won't," Haise calmly spat. Touka's visage twisted with wild emotions as she heard his refusal. "I apologized many times this way to other people, but it was only to make them have pity on me. You're the first person to make me feel worried about what I had done. Suddenly asking about your life was too much for you, and I am ashamed to have disrespected such a beautiful and kind woman."
Whatever made Touka's feel like it has blossomed had no signs of ever fading away. It gave her another turmoil, as she never imagined her emotions flipping sides like a coin, which was the worst thing to compare for she had many overwhelming thoughts. Her hand reached over to the strand of her purse and trembled with it in her fingers. Haise had given her an indirect compliment, so random that he treated it like it was godforsaken. Her surprised yet hidden attention to the flattering was beating the overdone presentation, and it unraveled it so thoroughly that Touka didn't wish for it to be a joke.
Still seeing Haise unable to notice her change of expression, Touka sighed, bending herself forward to copy Haise's stance. "Investigator Sasaki."
It was Haise's turn to lift his head to see eye to eye with Touka. They were close enough to touch noses.
"You didn't disrespect me," Touka tried to avow. "You were curious. And there's no harm in letting curiousity exist, right?" Haise blinked, letting Touka stop the nerve that makes her laugh as she saw his expression. "Plus, curiosity leads to surprises.
"I'm one of many that doesn't mind that."
Haise thought of Rui when he apologized to Touka. He thought about what Touka had blurted out to him that made him want to apologize. It made him feel unworthy to know what had really happened to Rui's father. It was not a proper explanation about him, but Haise wished he could send it back. Giving him and Touka anxiety was bad enough; he didn't want to bring sweet Rui into mind when the situation's like this.
That's why he was glad that Touka's reassurance on his curiosity relieved him from that disquiet.
Haise cleared his throat, strangled and he hoped it didn't make Touka worry, and he straightened his back. "But I do hope I did not trouble you."
Touka chuckled as she caught glance of his shadow. "Oh, you did." Haise wanted to hold something so he could drop it with stupor. Touka embed her back into her old, simple position and smiled frankly. "But it's good enough to count for baby steps."
Haise gave her a dazed, almost beholden look. She then started walking again. "Let's go. I'm actually curious on checking what's around here with you."
Haise wanted to know if Touka had anything else on her mind. Then again, it's best not to pry when he already made a dramatic event. With the thought of taking baby steps on his agenda, he spun on his foot and followed his new friend.
The two did manage to converse about regular things throughout the remainder of the walk, and neither of them did the need to stop.
Kick. Roll. Stop. Run.
Kick. Roll. Stop. Run.
Kick. Roll. Stop. Run.
It's a repetitive cycle that Rui kept doing with her ball, but she enjoyed every bit of it.
Her mom had told her a while ago that she had to go over to do something, so she was left in the care of the employees of :re. It only lasted for a few minutes, as her uncle Renji said he and her other two uncles had to take care of some "business", so her aunts watched her while they were gone. All she did since then was help Aomi and Miyu with the shop. Not too long ago, Yoriko suggested to take her out to the park across the shop and let her play for a little bit. Even if her mom hadn't returned home yet, Rui was happy that she had another good day helping at the shop and was able to spend the rest of it at the park. She knew that her aunt Yoriko was over sitting at a bench somewhere, but Rui couldn't even see if she was nearby. All she was at was somewhere at a grassy part of the field.
When she kicked her small ball for the sixth time, Rui accidentally put too much force into her foot and let it fly away to another nearby bench. Before letting out a quick gasp, she ran to the bench and hoped that her aunt wouldn't worry. By the time she grabbed her toy, Rui looked up and instantly, she looked surprised when she saw a bright flash of [3] purple.
Rui almost thought it would be her mom, but after a double-take, she realized that the blue hair belonged to a tall man. He was seated near the wooden bench, as he was in a wheelchair, and she couldn't tell if he was asleep or awake as his head bobbed down like a yoyo she used to own but had trouble spinning it up. Even if she didn't know, his body was so limp that he could fall over and become part of the earth. She always believed that everything stayed, so Rui got scared for the man.
Walking closer to the limp man after she dropped her ball, Rui got to notice his hands on his armchairs, pale as a cloud. She almost thought it would be sparkling as the sun reflected off of it, and it made her love for glitter jump in her veins. His skin, however, contrasted from his dark clothes, wrinkled and not offering any chance of changing into something enlightening. It almost made her angry.
Rui walked towards one of the man's legs, curious on what would've happened if he noticed her. Raising her hand towards the leg, she poked it with the tip of her fingernail. There was no reaction from the man. But Rui refused to let her curiosity slide. She pushed again, but used the whole of her forefinger and kept it on the leg longer than the first try.
The man mistook her touch for a part of the flames of Hell as cracked his head up faster than a lighting strike. He fixed his posture, sending him into a straight stick, but the speed almost made him fall backwards. His wheelchair maintained its natural arrangement, but still made the man panic.
"Kaneki-kun!" He yelled with a quick breath. His head was glancing up at the sky and his heavy breathing could be noticed in his tight neck.
Rui didn't scream or run away. She did jump back, but she managed to go back to her original position with a concerned reaction and her hands behind her back. "Excuse me?"
The man leaned his head down to look down at Rui. She didn't know certain surroundings yet, but she almost thought that he didn't look too pleased to see her.
"Oh," he said dryly. "It's just a girl." He slumped in his chair and his back wilted.
Remembering on how her mom would react when she would be given that kind of an expression, Rui composed herself and took a small step closer. "Are you okay?"
The man scoffed sadly, drooping his eyes at Rui. "No, I'm not. But it doesn't matter, little girl."
Rui pouted and she now felt insulted. "My name is not 'little girl', Mister!"
The man didn't feel intimidated by her comment, but he did widen his eyes a bit, surprised by her tone. "I'm sorry," he apologized, bobbing his head when there's nothing left to bob except his blue locks. His voice still sounded raspy even when there was a force. "What's your name, then?"
Happy with the man's slight change of attitude, Rui smiled with a hearty tilt of her head. "I'm Rui."
"Rui?" The man repeated, focused yet still inert. "That's your name?"
Mistaking his confused tone for an appreciative tone, Rui chuckled and twirled around in her dress. "It's a nice name, isn't it? My mommy gave it to me!"
Now the man didn't say anything, letting his blinking offer a sign to her that he was still paying attention to the black-haired child. It was as if her quick change of tone had finally calmed him down and retain himself. Rui didn't think about her posture, only thinking of her contentment that she could at least help a person.
"Okay," Rui continued. "Now, answer my question: What's your name, Mister?"
The man replied, very quietly, only his raspiness highlighting enough range. "Shuu Tsukiyama."
It was Rui's turn to create a lost expression. "Sukia–?"
Tsukiyama shook his head. "Tsu-ki-ya-ma," he says with a necessary pause in each syllable. "That's my name."
"Tsukiyama…" Rui trailed, her eyes softening when she thought on the name. "Tsuki…Moon…" She then gasped, still not making Tsukiyama jump or move. "Moon Man! I'll call you Moon Man!"
Tsukiyama transitioned his expression from dead to confused to a perfect chance of being done with everything. "Moon Man?" He questioned, his words sounding more like a snap than like a bumpy road with his raspy voice. That nickname almost sounded similar to another one a friend gave him long ago.
"Yeah!" Rui said, a smile being written like it was from the stars, being proud of what she had thought of. "Your name has 'moon' in it, so you'll be called Moon Man!"
Rui was expecting a laugh from him, a comment of praise, even a pat on the head even if she had just met him. Sadly, the man maintained his ground, still being bonelessly slumped in his wheelchair. She also noted sharply that this was the first person she failed to make someone laugh. She wasn't old enough to know that if adults don't always smile in front of children, then they are truly broken.
She wanted to ask again if there was something wrong with him. She wanted to see if there anything she could do to help him. She's not a doctor, but she could figure out ways to cheer people up. One glance and she's already overthinking things for the right reason. That ambition was held thus, still trying too hard on a solution and wanting to break the sudden silence.
"Hey!" A voice exploded in Rui's ear. She turned her head towards a walking being with short violet hair with flowing bangs beside his cheek. "What are you doing?"
"Um," Rui hesitated, now scared by the other man's approach. "I was checking if Moon Man was okay."
"Moon Man?" The man said confused, but he shook it off before he became fixated on Tsukiyama. "Master Shuu, are you alright?"
"Take me home, Kanae," Tsukiyama whispered. "I told you I didn't want to go outside."
"Rui-chan!"
Another voice was included into the group, and Rui turned around to see her aunt Yoriko running towards her.
"Rui-chan, don't run off like that," Yoriko demanded softly when she knelt in front of Rui. "I got worried about you."
"I'm sorry, Auntie 'Riko," Rui said with apologetic eyes, already ready to grab Yoriko's forgiveness.
Kanae stood watching them, growing rather impatient. "Didn't your kid hear about not talking to strangers?" He said coldly.
Yoriko stood up and felt annoyed by his tone, debating on whether to correct him about Rui not being her kid or if she could push the wheelchair down the hill. The mentioning of talking to strangers won her attention. Before she could ponder on what she could say to him about his statement, Kanae rushed behind the wheelchair and started pushing Tsukiyama away, hoping he wouldn't get anymore mad inside his head.
"Take better care of her," Kanae called out to Yoriko as he and Tsukiyama, who was back to his flabby manner, walked away from the bench.
Yoriko took a long, long deep breath through her nose before she looked down at Rui. "You were talking to that man?"
Rui could sense that she was in trouble again, but strangely, she felt the need to not just defend herself, but give a proper reason. "The man on the wheelchair looked sick. I was trying to make him feel better."
Yoriko wanted to ask for any specifics on what her best friend's daughter had done, but her atmosphere grew heavy from her new repose. "You still shouldn't talk to strangers, Rui-chan. You don't know if they could do something."
Rui looked down at the aligned grass, like she was waiting patiently from something else to hear. Like a small punishment. Even if that was what she thought, she did not show any signs of fear. Yoriko didn't offer anything of what Rui expected, but instead offered an unruffled warning. "We don't have to tell your mom about this. It'll be just between us, okay?"
Rui looked up at her aunt with surprise from Yoriko's admission. Yoriko grabbed Rui's hand and smiled. "Come on, we should get you home."
Rui didn't protest, the least she could do after she had done her actions, and walked alongside Yoriko, right hand holding onto Rui's hand and the left holding onto her ball, as they walked back to the cafe. Rui's hand didn't tighten in Yoriko's and she tilted her head to the side to see Kanae and Tsukiyama growing smaller and smaller from her perspective. Almost as small as the blueberry muffins Yoriko makes for :re.
Already a certain distance, and Rui already missed her Moon Man. He was a stranger, she knew that, but there was no delight in her going back home with him hurting. She wanted to swivel away from her aunt and wave at him. To yell, "See you soon!" or anything else pleasant. To see if he could reply back with a yell of his own. But the only thing she could do at his disappearing figure was blink.
She still hoped to see him soon.
1. At first, I wanted to use another song, but I decided to use that one for the next chapter. For this one, I actually found it on the fly. I've known Saint Motel since I've listened to "Puzzle Pieces", and they are amazing people. Anyway, I decided to use these lyrics to describe Haise's attempt in getting to know Touka better. He doesn't realize he's making their meeting awkward, making him feel embarrassed that he couldn't have done a simple task, giving a comment about her, until towards the end.
2. I really couldn't figure out where the hospital Touka visited was at, so I decided to put it at the 13th ward, since she shouldn't have gone far from her cafe. Again, the 13th ward didn't get much explanation or descriptions on itself, so I did my best on creating an imagery for the ward.
3. You see what I did there? Stranger Things? *nervous yet proud chuckling*
4. Another run through with wondering if another character's hair is blue or purple. I'm just going to say that Touka's is blue and Tsukiyama's is purple. Everybody got that? Good!
*raises both hands in the air* Go on. Say what you will about me for not posting anything after all this time. I can take it. *jk*
But seriously, it has been almost five months since I'd posted anything. Same goes for my other stories too. I never realized how difficult senior year is. I mean, I'm trying, but it really is difficult. Also, senior year and writer's block don't make a good mix. But I know I'm not giving up, and I'm not giving up here. Things are calming down about now, so I should post another chapter soon. But fair warning, guys. I also have to update my other story, and plus my church is doing a conformation retreat next month so I'm going to be gone for a while so I hope to post something before then.
Also, please forgive the sorta lazy writing. It's been a while since I've gone through this, so I really need to make this a habit. I guess one of you guys noticed in the comments, saying I messed up in a certain scene. I apologize for that and I promise that I'll edit the chapters as soon as I am close to the end of the story. Until then, please bear with my errors. Again, I'm sorta busy so I mess up a bit when I write and correcting. But I do learn!
I appreciate it if you comment in the comment section, if you like this story and until the next chapter, BYE BYE!
Happy belated Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and birthday to Sui Ishida (and sadly the presidential election).
Views: 20, 155
XD