Sam couldn't believe what Dean just said. Where is all this coming from? he found himself wondering as he watched the myriad of emotions playing upon Dean's face. What caused this? Was it not finding a way to break the deal finally catching up with him? Or something else? Sam didn't know. He damn sure aimed to find out.
"What are you saying here, Dean?" He managed around the lump in his throat. "That you're ready to throw in the towel? Because that?" He shook his head. "That's not gonna happen." His tone was firm about that. "You understand me? It's not gonna happen."
"Not what I'm saying at all." Dean's eyes, however, said differently. A shiver of alarm streamed through Sam, but Dean continued talking before he could recover. "I'm saying you're my weak spot, Sammy."
Sam could only stare at his brother as the impact of those words slammed into him. Shock and disbelief mixed with the hot flood of anger and bitterness that pumped under his skin. However, under all those virulent emotions was a slippery, slimy worm telling him that Dean was right.
"No." He denied it as much for Dean's sake as himself. "No, you're wrong."
Dean sent him a sad smile from over one shoulder.
"You are," he said. "And I'm yours."
Tears, pure sentiment filled Sam's eyes, clogged his throat.
"You don't mean that," he choked out. "We're… we're family, man."
"I know." Dean nodded. "And those evil sons of bitches out there know it, too. I mean, what we'll do for each other, you know, how far we'll go?" He swung his arms wide. "They're using it against us. Because they know we'll go as far as it takes to protect one another."
"So, what?" Sam asked slowly. "We just stop looking out for each other? Stop trying? What are we supposed to do here, Dean?"
"We stop being martyrs, Sam. We – we – we stop spreading it for these demons." He picks up Ruby's knife and brandishes it. "We take this, and we go after Lilith, but we do it our way. The way Dad taught us to do things. And if we go down..." he paused. "Well, at least we know we went down swinging."
Sam could only stand there, struggling to think of some small bit of logic that would refute what Dean said, but came up with nothing. What was there to say? That he was right? He was. That they needed to do this the only way they knew how: balls to the wall? He knew they did. Everything they fought for, their dad died for, and they managed to accomplish because of those collected sacrifices demanded they give their all.
However, as right as Dean was, he was also wrong about one thing: he wasn't going to give up on him.
Not without a helluva fight.
A/N: Hello, all! Hope this finds you well!
This is tagged to episode 3x16