a/n1: Hello my dear readers! I hope you had a good start into the new year! All my love to reynardinepttr for her excellent beta work. Enjoy!
14th June 1998, 19:23
George was admittedly quite nervous when he apparated to the Burrow with Theo. Living at Nott Manor couldn't exactly be described as relaxing, but it was the closest he had gotten since the war had taken his twin. But now that he knew how the other half lived, George was suddenly very conscious of how the Burrow must look to someone like Theo. Somewhere along the way a Weasley had decided to make a former barn his home and extended it whenever more rooms were needed. There was so much magical power holding the house together and more or less upright that he could feel it when they crossed the wards that kept the house hidden from muggles.
A quick look over to Theo told him nothing and before George could ask his opinion, the front door opened to his mother trying to look welcoming.
In George's opinion she didn't have too much success with that since she didn't manage to conceal the frown tugging her lips down. But maybe he just noticed because she was his mother and George had known her for all his life.
"Hey Mum, I hope we aren't too late?" George asked her cordially when they were in talking distance.
"No, you're just right to help Percy with the tables," Molly said, her lips finally tugging up into a proper smile. "It's good to see you, George." She pulled him into a short hug and thankfully pretended not to feel him stiffen. "And you Theo, I'm glad you could come." That she said with a lot less warmth but she stretched her hand out nevertheless.
Theo carefully shook it. "I have to thank you for the invitation." George nearly snorted at the choice of words. "I'm very curious about George's childhood home."
Molly thankfully didn't seem to notice anything amiss and told them that Percy was around the back.
As soon as the door closed behind her Theo turned to George. "She really doesn't act like she's a Prewett." He sounded surprised.
"I did warn you," George said clapping him on the back. "Nice choice of words by the way."
Theo grinned. "Guessed you'd catch that."
They helped Percy set up the tables and soon Ginny came outside with the plates floating in front of her. She greeted Theo with a nod and a smile, but before she went back inside Ginny came over to them.
"Ron's bringing reinforcement, Hermione and Harry both will be here in a minute," Ginny said quietly, throwing a look over her shoulder to the open kitchen door.
"What about Bill and Fleur?" George asked, matching Ginny's tone.
"They're already here," Ginny answered. "Fleur's helping cook and Bill is off with Dad doing something or other."
"You mean hiding from your mum?" Theo asked faintly curious, a slight curl to his lips.
George grinned at the sharp humour. "Probably, quiet before the storm and all that."
Ginny snorted and Theo smiled innocently. "I wonder why they'd think there's going to be a storm, the sky is quite clear," he commented idly and George had to suppress the impulse to hug Theo. He'd gotten really good at ignoring that by now.
Ginny went back inside to collect the cutlery and Percy came over next. "Please tell me you're not going to blow up anything."
George looked at him with mock-hurt. "Why would you think I'd do such a thing?!"
"I don't know, maybe because you two seem to be the worst tricksters, especially when combined?" Percy commented drily, cleaning his glasses with his sleeve.
"You really do flatter us," Theo said sweetly. "But we're not going to blow anything up, promise."
"I wouldn't even believe you if you swore on your magic," Percy sighed heavily. "Do not think that I'm unaware of your mischief making at school, Theo."
Theo grinned sharply. "Whatever are you talking about? I was the poster boy for quiet composure!"
Percy raised his eyebrow at him and George had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Granted, no one of the other house seemed to have known but Percy was living with Gemma Fawley, former Slytherin prefect.
"Well, let's just say I have my sources which say that you were nearly as bad as George and Fred, and much better at not getting caught," Percy said with superior smile.
George did not flinch at his twin's name. He did not. But when Theo's hand found his and squeezed it, George felt at least some of the tension drain out of him. He squeezed back and let go again.
Percy looked between them. "Be careful with that. Mum's having a good day, but Dad not so much."
George nodded mutely and was saved from having to say anything to that by Fleur's arrival.
The next thirty minutes they didn't have much time to talk. They were called in to help set the table with the food Molly and Fleur had cooked and George grinned at Theo's mounting surprise every time they were saddled with a new platter to take outside. Somewhere along the line Ron had arrived with Harry and Hermione and they had been immediately set to taking pitchers of pumpkin juice, butter beer and elf wine outside.
Only when they were finally sitting down at the table was George able to properly greet Ron and his friends. Hermione seemed to have had a very good day and Ron was talking excitedly about his first raid.
After his second glass of elf wine Theo stopped him from topping up his glass, giving him the pumpkin juice pitcher instead. George rolled his eyes at him, but didn't complain. He was used to it by now, even if it was very infuriating that Theo got the elves on the case too. Cinny did not put up with any of his bullshit and Grank had spelled the wine cellar shut so that only an elf could enter it.
But since George wasn't drinking he noted who else was, and he was worried when he realised that his father, who was overall not a drinker, was on his third glass of elf wine and already turning quite red.
Percy had gotten quieter as the evening progressed, Bill was talking to Molly, and Fleur to Hermione and Ron (who finally had gotten over his reaction to her). Harry and Ginny were arguing about Quidditch and Theo seemed to be listening intently, but George was eighty percent certain that he was actually keeping an eye on George's father.
Which turned out to be a good idea when Arthur began talking, his words heavy with alcohol and prejudice.
"I don't understand it, you know," Arthur said to no one in particular, staring down into his glass. "Why'd they let anybody go? I mean…they were bloody wankers, the whole lot of them. Always so high and mighty with their backwards thinking. Feeling so much better because they're pure."
Theo flinched next to George and Molly hissed a scandalised "Arthur!" while Bill tried to take his father's glass away.
"Don't pretend like you're not thinking the same, Molly, I know you are," Arthur pointed his finger at his wife. "They stole our son and they got to bloody live while he's dead. What'd they think would happen, taking that fight to a school? D'you know how many of the children died? Twenty-six. Some of them weren't even seventeen yet. They died because those arseholes decided to take the war to a school!"
George suddenly realised that Theo had gone perfectly calm and composed, his face a mask of bored indifference. But under the table his hands were frantically checking his trouser pockets which could only mean one thing: he couldn't find his Calming Draught.
Before George could suggest leaving, Harry suddenly spoke up. "If you have to blame someone for involving children in this war, blame Dumbledore." Arthur did a double-take like he hadn't realised that he was surrounded by people.
"What are you saying Harry? Dumbledore would never-"
Harry didn't let Molly finish. "Dumbledore prepared me like a lamb for slaughter, he left me in an abusive home so I'd be starved for love and positive attention. And when I came to school he tested me with an obstacle course that, looking back, really was designed for me and my friends. Dumbledore was the one who gave the school the reputation of the safest place in Wizarding Britain and made it a strategically very important place."
Molly was gaping at Harry and Arthur seemed to be too confused to form full sentences.
It was Theo who spoke up in the stunned silence. "I see Pansy ranted to you about old Dumbles."
Harry flushed scarlet. "I- Yeah, but I also talked to Madam Longbottom when I was over at Neville's this week."
"But Harry, you can't mean that, Albus was such a great man," Molly trailed off helplessly looking around at her children for assistance.
It was Ron who spoke up, quietly and somewhat hesitantly. "Dumbledore did nothing to help Harry beyond preparing him to take down You-Know-Who, mum. It was Fred, George and me who got him out of that horrible house before second year. Harry asked Dumbledore more than once to get him out but he never did. Mum, I learned about blood wards recently. Even the wards on our house would have been able to give him the same protection."
Molly was left gaping at her youngest son and George suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Theo next to him was growing more frantic with every passing minute and he knew that he had to get them away now.
"I think I'll take a walk before dessert. Theo, are you coming?"
Theo looked up at him with a half-manic glint in his eyes and nodded mutely.
Nobody at the table reacted when they stood up and left, but when George turned back, Bill was watching him with serious eyes and Ginny nodded at him while she hurried off to the house. Hopefully she was getting Sober Up potion because George didn't think he could bear his father's drunkenness.
As soon as they were out of sight, George pulled Theo down to sit on the ground and pushed his head between his knees. Theo was excellent at covering up his panic attacks but over the course of the last two weeks George had learned to spot them from a mile away.
When Theo sat up again and leaned against George's side he half-hoped that this was it, just a little panic. But he still could feel the tension run through Theo's shoulders and his hands were clenched into fists.
"He's right, you know," Theo whispered, hiding his face in his knees. "I shouldn't be alive. They should have killed me, just like the others."
George shook his head. "No. Nobody deserves death for their actions. Especially so if those actions weren't their own choice."
"I hurt people, George." Theo's voice was a small and broken thing, so unlike his usual tone that for once George didn't resist wrapping the younger man in a hug.
"So did I," he said into Theo's dark hair. "Remember the Vanishing Cabinet? It was Fred and me who pushed Montague in there. We didn't know he'd go mad, but we damn well knew that it wouldn't be pleasant for him in any way."
"That's different," Theo insisted. "I hurt them because I was told to do so and I was too cowardly to stand up to them."
"There is no cowardice in self-preservation." George huffed and smiled a little. "I know many Gryffindors were raised to think that. But it's nonsense. Recklessness really shouldn't be celebrated so much."
"That's rich coming from you," Theo mumbled into his arms.
"I know what recklessness can lead to," George whispered around the knot in his throat. "It leads to children fighting a war because they think they have to. It leads to them dying in said war because they never learnt that it is okay to protect your own life. You protected and helped where you could and that doesn't make you any less."
Theo turned so he was leaning against George's drawn up knees. "But I could have fought them. Isn't that the definition of cowardice, to do nothing even though you could?"
George didn't know. He wasn't even certain if he was qualified to answer that question, it was quite philosophical really. He only knew that he didn't want Theo to think that he deserved death because George knew those thoughts and where they could lead all too well . George was intimately familiar with thinking that it should have been him.
"The Wizengamot decided that your actions weren't even deserving of prison Theo," George said finally, loosening his grip somewhat so he could look Theo in the eye. "I think you did get a fair sentence. You made mistakes and you're atoning for them, that's how it is supposed to work."
Theo nodded but didn't say anything. George felt Theo's heartbeat slowly going back to a normal rate under his hands and was relieved. He really did not want to indulge Theo and give him the Calming Draught he probably craved. Another thing George had learned during the last two weeks – Theo was really unhealthily attached to the potion and he needed to speed up the development of the non-addictive version if George wanted to help him with that.
"I wanted to ask you something by the way," George started after a moment of silence. "I wanted to go to my old flat soon, get some equipment and some notes."
Theo nodded and turned his head to face him. "Sure, when did you want to go?"
George shrugged. "As soon as possible, before I lose my nerve again."
"How about tomorrow?" Theo asked, sitting up and fully turning to George, who had to let go off him in the process. "I wanted to go to Flourish and Blott's, see if they have the new publication about runic arrays in Turkistan."
"Sounds good," George nodded, feeling nervousness creep up to him.
"We probably should return to your family, before they send a search party," Theo said, standing up and reaching a hand down to help George up.
George just laughed and led the way back. Only when Theo let go of his hand shortly before they rounded the corner of the house George realised that he had still been holding it.
When they approached the table an obviously sober Arthur stood up and came to them, stretching his hand out to Theo. "I'm very sorry for my behaviour. It was very stupid and uncalled for and I hope you can forgive me, Theodore."
Theo stiffened slightly but took the outstretched hand at last. "I accept your apology, Mr Weasley. I don't think I ever gave you my condolences for the loss of your son. He was a brilliant mind taken from us far too soon, but neither his brilliance nor his bravery will ever be forgotten."
George sniffed a little. If he hadn't heard Theo say nearly the same thing to him a while back (if less stiffly formulated) he would have trouble believing it. (If George recalled the words correctly Theo had said something along the lines of 'It's a damn shame Fred's dead, he was brilliant and bloody brave.')
Arthur smiled a watery smile and nodded decisively before pulling Theo in for a hug. George cringed, he heard a sharp intake of breath to his left and saw Ginny step forward, one hand stretched out to their dad. But before either of them could intervene Arthur let go again and an extremely flustered Theo stepped back to George's side.
"I'm sorry," George whispered, as his father turned away.
"No harm done," Theo replied with a smile that was far too broad to be real. Theo did not do broad smiles.
"Theodore, dear, I hope you're still staying for dessert?" Molly asked with a genuine smile and George really wondered if his parents deliberately botched all societal rules around Theo because he didn't remember them to be quite so oblivious around Fleur and Luna. First calling him by his first name without being invited to, then the hug and now calling him dear? Even George knew that was bad manners.
Theo answered that of course they'd stay for what looked like a dessert as delicious as the main course had been. George was once again reminded that Theo had learned diplomacy as a child, and more so after his mother died.
When they sat down Theo turned to Hermione and asked whether she happened to have a Calming Draught with her and George had to suppress a relieved sigh when she said she didn't have any.
But Molly overheard. "I should have some in the med kit in the kitchen, Ginny will you go and fetch it for me?"
Ginny looked like she might refuse and shot a short, worried look at George who just shrugged. With a sigh she accioed the potion and gave it to Theo.
"Thank you, Mrs Weasley," Theo said with one of his too broad smiles and George wished he could do more than just vow to finish the new Calming Draught.
They fell back into easier conversation over chocolate mousse and treacle tart. Arthur stayed away from the wine and told them about the rebuilding of Hogwarts that was apparently nearly finished - save for a corridor on seventh floor that would require the Unspeakables to repair. George really hoped that they couldn't save the ghastly tapestry with the ballet dancing trolls.
After they finished eating and most of the clean-up was done, they remained outside talking in smaller groups and George approached Hermione, leaving Theo to discuss ward breaking with Bill and Fleur. They were talking in French and George felt a bit left out, but he also needed to talk to Hermione about his anti-panic potion.
"Hermione, do you have a moment for me?"
"Of course, what is it?" Hermione readily followed him around the side of the house.
"I've been working on this potion and I was hoping you could help me with perfecting it," George explained, pulling out a vial of the prototype. "It's a variation of the Calming Draught commonly used to treat anxiety and panic attacks. But it's less addictive, or at least I hope so. This is still a prototype. I would love if you could look it over and tell me if you notice any major problems with it. I can send you the list of ingredients and my notes via owl if you want."
"Is it ready for human testing?" Hermione asked, taking the vial and holding it up against the fading sun.
"Probably, but I'd advise having a trained healer there to oversee the process."
"I think a lot of people could use this now. Do you plan to sell it in your shop?"
"I don't know yet," George admitted. "I just wanted to help Theo, but you're right, of course. Maybe I'll just sell the patent to a good apothecary who actually has the resources to produce it en masse."
Hermione nodded thoughtfully. "This is great idea, George."
"I just want to help," George said quietly, with a look over his shoulder as if he could see Theo from behind the house.
a/n2: So, Theo met the Weasley's and George is going to brave visiting his flat again. What did you like most about this chapter? What are you looking forward to?
Fair warning: the trauma related symptoms in our protagonists will get worse before they get better! Some will develop symptoms that are harder to stomach like suicide ideation, self-destructive habits and medication addiction. Some symptoms will continue to be barely noticeable thanks to unreliable narrators (Draco and Hermione for example) but will suddenly become obvious in hindsight.
Thank you for following along for this crazy story that was never supposed to be so long! I cherish each and every one of you :)