Chapter 4
A/N: Please forgive any grammar errors and the late update! It's 4am and I haven't slept in days so it's all a little hazy. Reviews are greatly appreciated!
Stella didn't sleep. She tried, sure, but she knew that she would never succeed. Actually, she hoped that she wouldn't. Thankfully, however, Sylvie had a solid couple of hours, granted they were interrupted every fifteen minutes or so from nightmares. Sylvie tried to brush it off as nothing, but both her and Stella knew better.
Sylvie was awake before rounds the next morning. Stella was already awake but didn't mention to Sylvie that she hadn't slept. She knew why the blonde was up and it wasn't just because of the nightmares. Today Sylvie was supposed to speak with the police- give her statement and have a rape kit done. Stella honestly couldn't tell who was dreading it more- herself or Sylvie.
Throughout the night, Stella had been texting Dawson, Shay and Chilli. She knew none of them were sleeping anyway and that they would all want an update on Brett. Stella was pretty diligent, updating them at least once an hour, but her main focus was on Sylvie. Although she attempted to put on a brave face, Brett was definitely one of the weaker crew.
Around 6:30am (although Kidd had known that she had been awake for hours), Sylvie stirred. She buried her head closer into Stella's shoulder and didn't resist when the brunette wrapped an arm around her. Honestly, the closeness of not only a friend but more importantly a female, made her feel safe…. At least as safe as she could feel.
Natalie Manning did rounds…. Well, at least in Sylvie's room. The other doctors did most of the rest but both Brett and Stella were grateful that Natalie and April did her's. Apparently she was healing as much as possible, but she refused more painkillers and the morning After-Pill… Stella didn't understand but she knew that Sylvie was still confused. However, once the topic of talking to the police and having a rape kit done, Sylvie completely shut down. Stella handled it as best she could but couldn't be more thankful for the knock at the door.
"Good morning, sunshines." Shay's smile was always infectious and both Sylvie and Stella couldn't help but smile back as Shay, Dawson and Chilli walked through the door. "We bought the necessities."
Chilli held five coffees and Shay had donuts. Gabby, being the only sensible one out of the three, produced bottles of water, a couple of magazines and Sylvie's iPod,
Sylvie was still too nauseous to eat or drink anything but accepted the offers anyway. She hated letting people down. She pretended to take a sip of the coffee but Stella saw straight through it, thankful that the others didn't.
Another knock at the door caused them all to look up and Sylvie instinctively inched closer to Stella.
"Dawson?"
Everyone in the room looked up although Brett was the most anxious. She relaxed a little once she knew that it was Erin Lindsay, part of Hank Voight's team. Someone she knew and could trust.
Gabby hopped off her seat, shooting a reassuring smile at Sylvie first, before following Lindsay out of the room.
Once they were out of the room, Erin started talking, making sure to keep her voice low. "I need to take her statement."
Gabby nodded, reluctantly. "I know."
"But there needs to be at least two of us in there…" Erin paused, referring to the fact that she was the only female on Voight's team at the moment..
Dawson hesitated. She knew it would either be a good idea or a bad idea, but it was the only one she could think of. "Antonio. Get Antonio."
Lindsay nodded and turned to make the call but Gabby stopped her. "Just please don't let her know that I requested him… I mean, they have history, he's my brother, she's my friend, it's just…."
"Complicated. I get it. Don't worry."
Erin nodded reassuringly and placed a gentle hand on Dawson's arm, making sure that the brunette felt safe. Erin, herself, had taken charge of Gabby's own rape kit and knew how badly she didn't want her brother to know.
Although she wasn't entirely sure Antonio was the best person for the job considering his and Sylvie's history, he was probably one of the smarter choices. Voight and Jay would have lost their tempers, Hailey was still new; Kim, whilst close with Sylvie would have probably gotten too emotional, and Ruzek and Olinisky were no go's. Basically it was Erin and Antonio.
Lindsay left with a simple nod and speed-dialled Antonio whilst Gabby went back into the room. She gently took a hold of Sylvie's hand before deciding what to say. "Erin went to call Antonio."
Sylvie instantly began to freak out but the others tried to calm her. "I know, babe, I know. But he'll just be there for you, okay? There has to be two police in the room to take your statement and he's good." Gabby nudged Sylvie's shoulder, jokingly. "You know that. He won't judge you, okay?"
Sylvie didn't respond. In fact, she didn't say anything or make any movement until Lindsay knocked on the door.
"Hey, Sylvie." Erin Lindsay entered the room cautiously, trying to avoid catching the blonde off guard. "I was wondering if I could talk to you?"
Sylvie's eyes darted between Stella and Gabby whom both gave her reassuring nods. Eventually, Sylvie nodded but her grip on Dawson's hand tightened slightly.
Erin nodded, smiling reassuringly before hesitating. "I was wondering if Antonio could join us? There needs to be two officers here but if you'd want someone else-"
Sylvie tensed and Gabby squeezed her hand, nodding that it was okay. Eventually, the blonde agreed. "Okay." She whispered.
Lindsay went to the door and knocked that it was okay for Antonio to come in, silently reminding him to keep a straight face. He took a few moments to compose himself before following Erin back in.
"Hey, Sylvie." He gave a small, lame wave, not knowing what else to do. Brett kept her eyes glued on him but instinctively shifted closer to Stella.
Erin debated what to do next but decided to just jump straight in. She pulled up a chair next to Sylvie's bed but close enough to give the blonde some distance. Antonio just stood lamely in the back ground.
"I know that this is really hard to talk about but can you tell me about the other night?"
For reassurance, Brett looked between Stella, Gabby, Shay and Chilli before her eyes settled on her lap.
"I, uh, I was finishing up some paper work at the station when Gabby texted me. We were all supposed to go to Molly's. I remember changing, and going outside. It was cold-" She paused. "I didn't even see him but his hand covered my mouth-" she demonstrated. "and then he pulled me into the bushes." Sylvie's face went cold and emotionless, scaring the whole room. "And then he raped me."
Erin nodded, trying to be hesitant of how far to push. She paused for a minute before asking. "Do you have any idea who it was?"
Sylvie froze, visibly shaking before tugging at Shay's arm. Shay was the closest and luckily knew what she was asking, instantly grabbing the sick basin and putting it under Brett's mouth. Sylvie heaved by nothing came out considering she hadn't eaten or had anything to drink in over twenty-four hours. Gabby and Stella rubbed her back, Chilli wet a face cloth and Shay held the basin in place; Erin and Antonio were the only ones to step back.
Sylvie shook her head rapidly, her eyes pleading. "No! No, please. No, I don't know. Please stop asking!"
"Hey! Hey, Sylvie, honey, it's okay. You're okay." Gabby was the first to jump in, quickly followed by Chilli. Shay nodded to Erin and Antonio to leave the room whilst Stella cleaned up the blonde as best she could.
Chilli was surprisingly the only one who thought of something to calm down the blonde- she pulled out her phone and played one of Sylvie's favourite songs- "Angel Flying Too Close To The Ground" by Willie Nelson. Personally, Chilli hated it but she knew that Sylvie loved it and had downloaded it in case anything needed to calm the blonde down. Unfortunately, now, it did.
Sylvie's breathing evened out after a few moments and Chilli increased the volume. After playing it four and a half times, Sylvie seemed relaxed enough despite her death-grip on Dawson's hand.
"Is it okay if Erin and Antonio come back in?"
Sylvie shook her head to Shay's question. She couldn't talk; not right now. Gabby nodded to Shay, silently telling her that she wanted to talk to Sylvie alone.
"I'm going to tell you something, okay? But I don't want you to freak out or worry or anything."
Gabby titled Sylvie's chin so that the blonde was looking at her. Shay nodded towards the door, meaning that she, Stella and Chilli should give them some privacy.
Dawson took a hold of Brett's hands once she was sure that the blonde was focused on her. As much as she wanted to look away, the older paramedic held her gaze.
"The rape kit… It sucks. It really does. So does the statement. And I'm not just saying it as a medic, I'm saying it because I've been there." Sylvie's eyes widened slightly but neither broke their gaze. "All you want to do is get clean. Just shower and get clean and forget it ever happened… But it did. It happened. And sweetheart, I am so sorry that it happened to you, but I promise you something. No one; not me, or Shay, or Stella, or Chilli, or anyone else you want are going to leave your side. No one is going to see you any differently. And as soon as the exam is over, you can shower. You can scrub as hard and as much as you want, okay? But this really needs to happen because we need to make sure that this bastard never does it again. Okay?"
Sylvie was crying; both for herself and for Dawson; but she nodded slightly. Gabby squeezed her hand and gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room to get everyone else.
It was agonizing. Not only for Sylvie, but for everyone in the room. Erin was there but Antonio gave them some space; Gabby, Stella, Shay and Chilli were all by their friend's side, and Natalie was doing the rape kit. Sylvie swapped between holding her breath and crying.
Sylvie felt like she was reliving it. Her body shook and ached beyond belief and logically she knew why, but emotionally she couldn't grasp it.
He pushed himself inside of her harder and harder. The pain was unbearable but Sylvie tried to ignore it- hoping, begging for it not to be true.
They had known each other forever. She knew what would happen if she didn't behave. She knew but she still broke the "rules". It was her fault.
"No…" Sylvie was stuck in a flashback and her body was physically shaking. "Please… Please stop."
Everyone in the room tried to bring her back to reality but it didn't seem to be happening.
"You bitch. You think you can just leave me? Huh? It's your fault. You're the one to blame for this."
He kept thrusting, going deeper and harder each time.
"Sylvie?! You need to come back to us, okay? You're safe here." Natalie was really the only one who could act- the rest were in shock.
Sylvie curled up, pulling away from everyone. Everything was coming back.
He kept going but after a few moments, Brett just ignored everything. It hurt beyond belief but she couldn't acknowledge it.
Gabby knew what was going on- Brett was re-living it all. She needed to stop it.
"No, stop! Now!" Everyone in the room turned to her but Dawson didn't care. "Stop it. She can't do this now."
"Dawson, it's policy-"
Gabby cut Natalie off, concentrating on Sylvie. "Screw policy. Just stop."
"Hey, Sylvie, honey? I need you to look at me, okay?" Gabby forced all of her attention on Brett, trying to keep from reliving her own experience. "Just focus on me, okay? Everyone else is going."
The others got the point and left the room quickly, making sure that the curtains were drawn and the door was closed. After a few moments of encouragement, Sylvie managed to slow her breathing to copy Dawson's. Gabby couldn't do anything but wrap her arms around the blonde.
After around half an hour, Shay knocked on the door. She remembered exactly what Dawson was like during and after her rape kit and knew that the brunette shouldn't be alone. Gabby was laying next to Sylvie- an arm wrapped around her and the TV on although Shay could tell that neither were paying attention.
"How're you feeling, girl?" Shay pulled up a seat next to the bed and directed the question at both women. Dawson didn't answer but Brett shrugged slightly, offering a weak smile. It still amazed them all that the blonde could still try to be so sweet after everything she had been through.
"Well it's okay now. Natalie's done enough for now. We'll get you covered and safe, okay? Do you want Stella and Chilli to come back in too?"
Sylvie nodded, grateful, and both Shay and Dawson breathed a sigh of relief. Dawson needed a break and Shay certainly knew that.
They were almost the same words that Shay had told Dawson, minus the mention of Stella and Chilli, but they worked at the time so the older blonde was hoping they would work this time.
After Shay let them in, Sylvie calmed a bit once tight blankets were covering her and Stella and Gabby were next to her with Shay and Chilli standing a little back but close enough if she wanted them.
"Is there anything we can get you? Water? Coffee? Something to eat maybe?" Natalie showed up a few moments later, silently apologizing.
"I want to shower."
Sylvie's voice was barely a whisper, completely filled with tears. She didn't look at anyone in the room, instead pulling her knees to her chest as much as it hurt. Natalie acted, knowing how much pain the blonde was in.
"Of course." She smiled reassuringly. "I'm just going to give you a little more pain medication and then I'll get one of the nurses to help you shower, okay?"
This caught Brett's attention. "No! Please, no. I don't want a nurse."
"I'm sorry, honey, but someone is going to need to be in there with you." She didn't mentioned that it was partially due to the medication but mainly due to the injuries.
Sylvie shook her head, tears dripping down her cheeks. She looked between the other women in the room before finally settling on Chilli. "Chilli. I want Chilli."
Natalie nodded, reassured that at least someone with medical training would be in the bathroom with her. "Okay. I'll get April to push some more pain meds and get you some soap and a gown, and then Chilli can help you out, okay?"
Chilli looked hesitant but forced a reassuring smile and nod anyway. Why not Gabby? Or Stella? Or even Shay? She truly felt that she was out of her league but she would do anything to help her partner.
The shower took a lot longer than expected but not nearly as long as Sylvie wanted. She had been made to sit in the shower chair the entire time with shower-proof bagging covering a fair bit of her body. Chilli had tried her best to wash every inch of her partner's body that she could reach but as hard as she tried, according the the blonde's flowing tears, hadn't succeed. Sylvie just wanted to scrub and scrub and scrub; she just wanted to be clean.
After settling Sylvie back in bed, everyone noticed that it was getting late. Technically it was still the ICU and visiting hours on general wards finished hours ago. It was one of the nurses whom none of them had worked with before whom decided to kick them out a half an hour later.
Shay was the first to say goodbye, handing over her iPod and kissing her forehead before whispering. "Almost all Country, I promise. Just don't tell the others." She winked before stepping back.
Stella and Chilli made their moves at the same time, each handing Sylvie something- Stella a hand drive with a huge collection of movies on it and Chilli a block of her partner's favorite chocolate.
Finally it was Gabby's turn. She hesitated at first but eventually wrapped the blonde up in a gentle but comforting hug. Neither said anything; it was all unwritten.
Stepping back after a few moments, Shay reached for Gabby's hand. She knew the brunette needed support but what was didn't expect was for Sylvie to speak up.
"Gabby?" Dawson looked back, a small smile on her face. Sylvie fiddled with the blankets nervously, not making eye contact. "Will you please stay with me?"
Without an answer, Gabby was across the room and seated on the bed next to Brett. Stella, Shay and Chilli all left; each distraught and worried for both of the women left behind but knowing that they were strong enough to handle it.
Dawson and Brett watched TV for a few hours; Gabby chose because Sylvie wasn't up for making decisions, and Sylvie didn't even touch the meal they brought her. Gabby swore to herself that she would get someone to pick up something tomorrow. Eventually, Sylvie began to close her eyes and Gabby smiled slightly. Heck, she still hated sleep but she knew that Brett needed it as much as possible right now.
"You tired?"
Sylvie nodded, resting her head on Gabby's shoulder. She was honestly exhausted but the last thing she wanted to do was sleep. Stella may have thought that she fooled her the night before but Sylvie knew that the brunette firefighter never slept a wink. She was hoping, for Dawson's sake, that tonight would be different.
Gabby pressed a kiss to Sylvie's forehead before leaning her own head on top of the blonde's. She squeezed Sylvie's hand to let her know that she was there; that she was safe; before flipping through the channels and settling on some random show on the Food Network.
"Try to sleep, okay?" Gabby whispered. "I'll be right here."
Sylvie hesitated but eventually nodded, closing her eyes. Gabby was there, the police were at her door, she was safe… at least physically. Mentally was a completely different subject.