Mike Nesmith couldn't remember a time in his life when he had been happier. His band of brothers were regularly playing gigs at The Hangout, which in turn led to them getting more gigs at other clubs. It got to the point where they had to start turning down offers just so they had time to rehearse and relax once in a while. Then of course, there was the real reason he had been feeling over the moon lately: Addy. Two weeks had passed since their perfect first date. Well, nearly perfect. If he could block Shawn and her father out of the memory, it would have been perfect. They had spent almost everyday together since. She would come listen to them play, and meet up with Mike afterwards, or they would make plans to get together at what they now referred to as their place. Every time they went back to the secluded, and usually unoccupied lake, they always seemed to reveal something deeper about themselves, stories that neither had spoken to anyone. They shared their deepest feelings and desires with one another, as if they had been together a lifetime instead of a few weeks. The only hitch in their relationship, was Addy's father and her scorned lech. Her father had meant what he said that first night. He wanted Addy no where near Mike, which meant Addy had to do a great deal of lying and a great deal of relying on Valerie to cover for her. For weeks, Mr. Hayes had been hearing various versions of "Valerie and I are going shopping" "I'm going to Valerie's house to discuss a book" "I'm going dancing with Valerie tonight". Addy hated lying to her father, but she hated being away from Mike more, and Valerie was more than willing to cover for her dear friends. Valerie and Peter had been seeing each other almost as regularly as the other delightful young pair. Peter even spent the night at Valerie's on a night her parents were out of town. Mike didn't ask Peter any details of his night out, not wanting to pry and out of respect for his friends privacy, but he knew by the look on Peter's face the next morning what had happened. Mike smiled at his friend and Peter returned it, neither speaking a word, but their silence said everything. And while Valerie was providing excuses for Mr. Hayes, Shawn was another story. He had been relentless in pursueing Addy. He was at her house practically every hour, banging down her door demanding to speak with her. Addy had told Mike about some of the conversations. She tried to avoid them when she could, but she could only hide for so long. He made various threats that, so far, had been just that: threats. He promised to get Addy back and put her in her place, and to teach the lanky Texan a lesson he wouldn't soon forget. Whenever Addy told Mike of his threats, his blood boiled. He didn't care about Shawn's beef with him, what he cared about was Addy. He saw the toll Shawn's actions were taking on her. He finally understood it then. Shawn was trying to wear her down. He was toying with her mind. After each argument, a little more of Addy's resolve broke. Mike realized that that was what Shawn wanted. He wanted her broken. He wanted her so mentally and emotionally drained that she would stop saying no, that she would give in to his demands to free herself from the weight of his threats and to protect Mike. And Mike wondered, would Addy eventually give into the game Shawn was playing? He knew he couldn't, no, he wouldn't let that happen. So he was there. He picked up her broken pieces and placed them back together, and he became her strength. His reassuring words, his tender care, and his music he played for her, were all things he did to remind her that she wasn't alone. And it was working. Addy had told him a few days ago that she had finally had enough. She filed harassment charges against Shawn, which of course infuriated her father, Shawn's parents, and Shawn himself. And while she knew it wouldn't stick and it would merely be a slap on the wrist, she felt good knowing that she was strong enough to go through with it and to prove a point. She was never going back to Shawn.
Mike smiled to himself as he drove the GTO to the familiar parking lot that was, as usual, vacant. He sat there for a moment and waited for Addy to arrive, and he thought back to their first date. That kiss had ignited something inside of him that he was unaware of. Since that night, he hadn't gone any farther with her. In fact, they hadn't even shared a kiss since. It was always just a short and sweet goodbye or goodnight kiss, a quick peck on the cheek or occasionally the lips. She didn't seem to mind that he had slowed their physical relationship way down, because they had focused so much on really getting to know each other. And as much as Mike loved getting to know her mind, he couldn't help but want to get to know her body too. That first kiss had been like fire. And he wanted more. But he knew he went too far, and he needed her to know he was interested in her as a person, not an object. He wanted there to be a clear distinction between himself and Shawn. And if he were honest with himself, he was just plain scared. He had never reacted that way with someone before, and it confused him. He knew he was a passionate guy, but his passion had always been toward music. Music was something he understood, it was familiar to him, it was a part of him. But Addy, Addy was different. Addy was special. And he had no clue what he was doing. It had taken the first week of them dating for him to finally accept that it was real and not a dream. And the entire second week, he kept fighting with himself about what he should do. Should he kiss her, really kiss her again? Should they take things to another level? Should he wait and not do anything? Should he talk to her and ask her? Or should he wait until she made a move for something more?
Talking and getting to know her was easy. He loved that part, and treasured it. Getting to know her life, her personality, her quirks and details, it was heaven for Mike. And he fell a little more with each conversation. She was incredibly bright, warm, caring, generous, witty, and all together wonderful. He still couldn't understand what she saw in him. He knew what he saw in her, and he was beginning to fall completely in love with every aspect of her being. Yes, that part was easy. And in his head, he could easily imagine taking her in his arms and giving her a kiss like the first one they shared, and doing it a million times over, the feeling never growing old. But to actually do it, that was another feat all together. He didn't know what had happened that first night that gave him the confidence to do what he did. He thought perhaps because he didn't know her as well as he did now. The initial spark had been there, but they really knew very little about each other. And, even though that spark was still there and burning brighter all the time, he really knew her now. And maybe that was why he couldn't bring himself to go any further than a quick kiss goodnight. She deserved the best, in everything. And he knew he couldn't give that to her. He was scared. He was scared of falling for her, and her not falling for him. He had already fallen for her mind, and if he allowed himself to take things farther physically, he knew he would fall all the way, and there would be no coming back from that. He was trying to protect his heart, even though he wanted to give it away. He wanted her to have it. But, would she take it? And would she keep it? He knew the kind of person she was, and she would never hurt another soul. Still, the doubt was there in the back of his mind. She will realize you have nothing to offer, and she will move on. He shook his head. He wanted more of her, regardless of how scared and unsure he was. That fire was lit, and he wanted to fuel it. He just wasn't sure how to go about it. And he knew the risks of giving his heart away. She could easily walk away tomorrow, and he'd be nothing more than a pathetic, heartbroken musician. And while his head was telling him that's what would happen, his heart said something else. She won't leave you, she cares about you, she wants to be with you.
He stopped arguing with himself and decided to talk to her about taking things farther. He saw her blue convertible pull into the space beside of him, and he took a deep breath. He jumped out of the car, and just like every time he saw her, he felt his breath leave him and his knees shake. He knew he had never seen someone so beautiful. Her light blue blouse was neatly tucked into her mini skirt, and her long hair was pulled into a low ponytail. She looked casual, and still stunning. "Good evening Mike" she said, planting a small kiss on his cheek. "Good Evening Miss. Addy" he said playfully. She looked into his eyes, and she must have realized something was bothering him. "Is everything alright?" She asked. He knew better than to try and lie to her. "Well, there is um something I'd like to talk to you about, but let's wait till we get to the lake" he offered. She nodded and took his hand and they walked silently down the path they knew so well.
When they arrived at their clearing, it was deserted as usual. Mike spread a soft blanket across the dewy grass, and sat down beside of her. "So, what's wrong?" She asked taking his hands in hers. Mike's heart raced wildly at the small touch. She really had no idea what she did to him every time she touched him. "Addy, I uh, I don't really know how to uh, how to tell you this or how to say it exactly" he fumbled and she smiled at him. "You can tell me anything, you know that" she encouraged. "Well since our first date, we've uh, well we've really gotten to know each other right?" He asked, and he hated how dumb he sounded. She giggled a little and nodded in agreement. "Yes we have, and I love getting to know you Mike" she said with a grin. "And I've loved getting to know you" he agreed. "But um, since that first date, well we haven't really um you know we haven't really uh..." he was panicking. He didn't know how to go about this and wished he never would've started the conversation. Luckily, she knew what he was trying to say. "We haven't had a moment like that first kiss" she offered and his eyes grew wide and his face turned a deep shade of red. "How did you know I was..." he started, but she interjected. "Because I know you Mike, and I feel the same" she said. "Mike what we have is really good, and you don't have to ask permission to take things farther. In fact, I would like it if we did. If you want to kiss me Mike, then kiss me" she said. She brought herself closer to him, and he felt that familiar tingle in his gut whenever she brought herself that close. That familiar smell of roses hit him, and he reached out toward her. But just as his hand touched her cheek, a question he had longed to ask entered his mind. He had never asked her about it before, it seemed too personal. But he knew that's where they were now, and he needed to know this part of her story before they went any farther. "Tell me about your mother" he whispered. He saw the look of surprise on her face, and then it was quickly replaced with sadness. He wondered if he shouldn't have asked, but he wanted to know. There had to be a reason she was so kind and gentle, and it certainly wasn't thanks to her father. "I wondered how long it'd be before she was brought up" she whispered sadly, and Mike felt horrible. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked I just, you mean so much to me, and I want to know everything and..." "Mike stop, it's alright. I understand, and even though it's hard to talk about, I want to share everything with you" she said. "She was the best person you'd ever meet" she started with a sad smile. "She was an amazing mother, and a friend". She took a shaky breath and continued. "Four years ago, she found out she was pregnant. We were all so happy. My parents had wanted another child for a long time, and I couldn't wait to be a big sister." She said, and Mike knew then how the story was going to end. "There were complications. She went in to labor, and the doctors couldn't save the baby. And, it was too much for her body to handle. The pregnancy and stress, the terrible delivery, and then the shock of losing her child, it was too much. And then all of a sudden, my mother was gone". Her voice wavered only on the last sentence, and Mike saw a single tear roll down her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb. He hated seeing her cry. His heart broke for her, and even a little for her father. What should have been such a happy and wonderful time for her family, became a tragedy. "She would have loved you" Addy whispered after regaining her composure. Mike offered a crooked smile, not sure of what to say. "I think her death is part of why father is the way he is. If some of the brightest minds and most well educated people couldn't save her, then who could ever be good enough?" And he winced at her words. "He holds people to an impossible standard, he's forgotten how to stop blaming people, and he's forgotten how to see the good in others." She continued. "Because the father I knew years ago, and the father I know is still there somewhere, he would love you too" she said. Mike still didn't know what to say. He wanted to offer her something, any kind of comfort, but there weren't any words. But she knew his silence meant that he cared, and that if he couldn't find the right thing to say, he wouldn't say anything, and she admired that about him. "And Mike," she started. "I love you too" she said it so softly, it just barely qualified as a whisper, but it was as if she had shouted it in his ears. His jaw dropped, and he was rendered speechless. She loved him? He simply couldn't believe it. Did he love her? Yes. Yes he did. But he couldn't say it. He tried, but it was like it was stuck. He opened his mouth three times, trying to make it come out. But she gently pressed her finger to his lips and leaned in close. "Mike, you don't have to say it back. I know you feel the same, but until you're ready to give yourself away like that and you believe in yourself, I don't want you to say it. I'm a patient girl Mike, I'll wait" she whispered, and she closed the gap between them and he felt her soft lips against his.
His head was spinning. How did she understand him so well? It was as if she could read his thoughts and she understood his feelings better than he did. She pulled herself onto his lap and pressed herself against him, and he forgot about his tumbling thoughts. He wrapped her up in his arms and spun them around so she was lying on the blanket and he was on top of her. His tongue once again made it's way into her mouth like their first kiss, and he felt her hands running through his hair, knocking his wool hat off. His left hand traced down her neck as he brought her even closer, and deepened the kiss even more. His mouth moved off hers, and soon began planting hot kisses on her neck. She moaned against him as he ran his right hand up and down the exposed skin of her leg. He trailed his kisses from her neck to her collar bone, sucking on the tender skin of her shoulder, a mark she knew would be hard to hide from her father, but she couldn't care less. He suddenly bit down on her shoulder, very lightly, but it was enough to earn a gasp and small squeal from Addy. Mike smiled to himself. This was what he had been afraid of? It seemed silly to him now, all of those hours agonizing over something that was flowing so easily. They fit. They understood each other. And they loved each other.
Mike kissed her lips once more, and he moaned when he felt her tongue dance with his. Just then, they heard a scoffing sound, and they sprang apart. An elderly couple had entered the clearing and gave the young love birds a look of pure disgust, clearly unimpressed with the PDA. Mike and Addy both blushed furiously, while trying not to laugh. "I think we better go" Mike offered and Addy nodded. He quickly gather up the blanket, and they practically ran to their cars. When they reached the parking lot, they erupted into a fit of laughter. "Did you see the look on her face?" He exclaimed between laughs. "Her face! What about his. He looked like he was mortified!" She said and Mike was nearly on the floor imagining their faces. "You certainly know how to cause a scene Nesmith" she teased, wrapping her arms around his neck, and he looked into her eyes. "I could say the same about you Hayes" he said. He brushed his fingers against her cheek before giving her a long slow kiss. It wasn't filled with desire or lust, just a long passionate kiss of two people in love. "I'll see you tomorrow" she whispered when he finally pulled away. "I can't wait" he said with a grin.
He watched her drive away, and once she was gone everything slammed into him. How she reacted to him trying to tell her he wanted more, the story of her mother, telling him about how her father used to be, their intimate kiss, and most importantly, her telling him she loved him. He still couldn't believe it. But it bothered him that he couldn't say it back. He knew he felt it, but he also knew she was right. He was terrified of his feelings and he wasn't ready to say it yet. He needed to give his mind time to catch up to his heart. And he loved that she understood that without him having to say a word. She was so different and so special. She was just as important to him as his three best friends and his music, and he didn't think it was possible for him to love something or someone that much. But that was before Addy. In just a few weeks, he had fallen for her, and that scared him too. It all seemed too good to be true, it didn't seem real. And yet, it was. Mike thought about all of those things on his way home. She had turned his whole world upside down.
"Hey Mike, how was the date?" Peter asked when he walked in. "Are Micky and Davy here?" Mike asked and Peter laughed. "Nope, they are out on yet another double date" and Mike rolled his eyes. "I thought they weren't ever doing that again?" Mike asked. "Well Micky has been planning this for over a week. He met some actress the other day, and he's convinced her to act like a total lunatic with Davy tonight, while her model friend is all over Micky." Peter said laughing. "So this is payback for the double date Davy set up a while back?" Mike asked and Peter nodded. "Those two just won't learn will they?" Mike said. "Nope, but it provides entertainment for us" Peter laughed and Mike did too. "Did you need to talk to them?" Peter asked and Mike shook his head. "Actually, I wanted to just talk with you" he said, and Peter was surprised. It wasn't often Mike turned to him for advice. "Addy told me she loved me" Mike finally said and Peter broke out into a huge smile. "That's fantastic Mike!" He exclaimed. "But I couldn't say it back" he continued and Peter furrowed his brows. "It's because you still don't believe it, isn't it?" Peter finally asked, and once again, Mike was amazed at how observant his friend was. "You got me shotgun". Peter looked at his friend in disbelief. "Michael, she loves you, she doesn't want anyone else. She believes you're good enough, why can't you?" Peter asked and Mike shook his head. "She could have any man in the world Pete, why me?" He asked. "You're right" Peter started. "She could have anybody she wants right?" He asked and Mike gave a slow nod. "Well she wants you Mike, and it doesn't sound like she's going anywhere" he finished and Mike gave his friend a small smile. "Michael, the two of you connected, and it doesn't matter what your backgrounds are or who your family is or how much money you have. All that matters is love" Peter finished. "That's what Valerie has taught me. I've been where you are Mike, I know what you're feeling, but believe me, you are enough" Peter said, and Mike was truly moved by his words. "When did you get so smart?" Mike joked and Peter laughed. At that moment, Davy burst through the door with Micky following behind him. "Unbelievable, I mean you must be joking Micky!" Davy huffed, completely red in the face and Micky flapping his hands. The two completely ingnored Mike and Peter as they tromped upstairs arguing all the way. Peter and Mike doubled over in laughter as their friends continued trading insults. "Who ever thought there'd be a day when Mike and Peter were having better luck with the ladies than Micky and Davy?" Mike asked and Peter laughed. The tables had certainly turned for the bass player and the boy in the green wool hat.