The Powerpuff Girls: PSHAW!
or
Powerpuff School Hijinks And Wackiness
A Powerpuff Girls fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon and The Ero-Sennin
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. The Powerpuff Girls are the property of Cartoon Network. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
The Narrator's Voice is in Italics! Just so you know! And no, I'm not out to steal any princesses. Geez, you can only make so many actor's allusions at a time you know!
"The city of Townsville, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends," Bubbles said happily, holding her hands up and spreading them dramatically. She turned and grinned back at her grandpa Jack, who stood with the blonde supergirl in the impressive foyer of the old mansion. The immortal samurai scanned his surroundings with a small smile.
"I like to spend a lot of time here," Bubbles continued happily, "because of all the imaginary friends! Especially the flying ponies, and unicorns, and-Oh! Hello Mr. Harriman!"
An anthropomorphic rabbit, in a top hat, waistcoat, and gloves hopped up elegantly. He adjusted his monocle.
"Ah, Miss Bubbles. So good to see you again," he spoke, his perfectly combed mustache flopping with his elegant words. "And I see you have brought a guest?"
"My grandfather, Jack!" Bubbles said cheerfully. Jack, as custom dictated, bowed.
"It is an honor to meet you, sir," Jack said.
The bunny raised a bushy eyebrow.
"I see… Your grandfather still seems to be in his bathrobe."
"Ah, no," Jack said. "It is a gi-A traditional garment-"
"Young lady, have you no respect for your poor grandfather?" Harriman tutted. "Allowing him out in his bathrobe, really!" He turned and hopped off. "No matter! I shall call the tailor's to provide suitable garments for such a distinguished gentleman! Don't go away!"
Jack sighed. Bubbles giggled and floated up to her grandpa, hugging him.
"Aw, don't worry Grandpa! I like your bathrobe-Er, gi."
"Buttercup dresses like me, and nobody assumes she is a senile old man," Jack grumbled. Bubbles giggled again, and took his hand.
"Come on! Let me show you around!"
They went through the multiple, dizzying levels of the ancient mansion. Jack was almost sure he was back in the Tohono O'odham Labyrinth, evading mechanized monsters, minotaurs and Eldritch abominations covered in synth flesh tentacles. Portals had taken him that way and this way, twisting corridors of spacetime that led back where you came.
Even worse, he had been unable to jump to escape. No matter how good.
Here, he had the same dizzying twists and turns. The same bizarre architecture.
The monsters, however…
"Cocococo, cococo!"
"Yes, thank you," Jack said gratefully, accepting the cup of tea from the part bird, part airplane and part coconut-like creature. He sipped it, enjoying the mellow tannin flavor. "Mm… It is good."
"Cococo!" Coco trumpeted cheerfully. A long red hand reached down and fluffed his pillow.
"Need anything else, Mister Jack?" Asked Wilt, the tall red basketball player-like friend. Jack shook his head.
"Nothing at all, but thank you," he said. Wilt hummed and rubbed his chin with his one arm.
"Have… We met before? You seem familiar."
Jack chuckled. "Believe me, my friend. I would remember you."
"Fair enough," Wilt said cheerfully. "I'm going to go get manwiches-That okay? Okay!" He headed off through the door of the sitting room. Bubbles was sitting with her grandfather, eyes shut in a cheerful smile and her hands in her lap.
Jack turned to the fourth occupant of the room-A large, hairy, purple creature with horns and a demonic belt buckle… Who was trembling in a nearby corner.
"Is… Something wrong?" Jack asked. Coco sighed.
"Cococo, coco, coco-"
"I AM NOT BABY!" Eduardo cried. "Just… Scared, a bit, yes." The horned imaginary friend peeked out through his fearsome claws. Jack raised an eyebrow as Bubbles giggled.
"Oh Eduardo, it's just my grandpa!" Bubbles admonished. She floated over to the big lug, and hugged him. Eduardo still whimpered.
"Are… Are you sure Senor Jack will not… Harm me?" Eduardo asked.
"Of course he won't harm you!" Bubbles said with a laugh. "Nobody would hurt someone as sweet and nice as you!" She hugged Eduardo tightly, making the purple beast huff.
"Urk… Si… Yes…! Sorry, Senor Jack," Eduardo said. "You are just so… So… Well! I would not want to offend you, senor, but your sword…"
"It's my family sword," Jack said with a smile. "And I only use it to strike down evildoers."
"Oh! Phew," Eduardo said. "That is relief!" The big monster walked over and hugged Jack, lifting him off the couch. "Any friend of Bubbles is friend of mine!"
"Yes, indeed," Jack said with a laugh. He patted the friendly creature on the shoulder, even as Coco expressed some worry to Bubbles.
"Cocococo! Coco?" Coco asked. Bubbles giggled.
"Oh, don't worry about Grandpa Jack! He's used to being hugged by us! He doesn't even flinch!"
"Yes," Jack said with a smile at Eduardo's face. "I had…" The old samurai's eyes tightened a bit, "a friend, long ago. He gave me similar hugs. I grew used to them… As he was a friend worth growing strong for."
Eduardo put Jack down, blinking in curiosity.
"Coco?" Coco asked, tilting her head. Bubbles frowned.
"Your best friend?" She asked. Jack nodded, eyes casting into the past.
"He was a big fellow, strong," Jack reminisced. "Loud and belligerent, but with a good heart. He loved his wife and his people dearly, and no matter how difficult the odds he was there for me. We fought many battles… Many evils…" Jack sighed. Bubbles frowned deeply and flew around to his side.
"What happened to him?" Bubbles asked. The samurai smiled sadly.
"I… Lost him," he said quietly, helplessly. "A long… Long time ago."
"Coco," Coco said sympathetically. Bubbles took Jack's hand and squeezed it, and her grandfather returned the gesture with a sad smile.
All three looked up into Eduardo's face. The big monster's eyes were boiling over with tears as his lip wobbled over his large fangs. "UWAHHH! SENOR JAAAACK!" The big monster hugged Jack again, sobbing wildly.
"SENOR JACK! I AM SO SORRYYYYYY!" Eduardo wailed. Jack patted the enthusiastic monster on his shoulder, smiling kindly.
"Thank you, my friend," Jack said. "I appreciate your sympathy."
"I too lost friends," Eduardo sniffled, "many! Is sad, so sad!"
"Coco, coco co cocococo," Coco contributed. Bubbles nodded.
"It's all right, Grandpa," Bubbles said. "He must have been a great man."
"He was," Jack said. "Ah… Eduardo?"
"S-Si, Senor Jack?" Eduardo sobbed.
"As much as I enjoy your hug… You are getting my gi wet," Jack said gently. Eduardo abruptly put down Jack, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment.
"Oops. Sorry," Eduardo apologized. Jack patted him on a big, hairy shoulder.
"It is all right, my friend," Jack said. "I appreciate your sentiment."
"So, what was your old friend's name, Grandpa?" Asked Bubbles. Jack smiled in sadness.
"It was… The last thing he said to me. It was-"
The floor rumbled. Jack's eyes narrowed, every sense tuned and alert for danger. He heard the sounds of giant footsteps, and the roar of a mighty monster. He looked out the window, his granddaughter's eyes following. He smiled ferally, and with one blow of his sword he broke through the window. He jumped down, diving for the giant writhing mass rampaging across the lawn. Jack landed on the ground, his sword held out and glinting in the sun as he barred the way of the foul beast to the Foster's mansion.
The monster reared back and roared. It was like a great spider, with more than double the normal legs descending from a gigantic roach-like shell. The head was on a long, serpentine neck and the head bore the horns of a demon. Its large, snapping jaws were four lobed, and it screamed in fury. The foul wind of its breath washed over Jack, and the samurai's eyes narrowed.
The monster's legs lashed out, trying to smash him. Jack moved, his motions a blur to anyone else. He leaped high above the monster's many arms, bringing his blade down on the armored head of the creature-
"NO!"
Only for a young man to tackle the samurai in mid air, sending them both slamming into the grassy ground. Jack groaned and shook off the pain of the impact. He was up in a flash, the boy thrown off.
"What are you doing?" Jack demanded. The boy looked up through a shaggy mane of brown hair. He wore a red hoodie over a white long-sleeved shirt, tan cargo pants, and a green backpack. He sighed as he stood up, the monster roaring again.
"That's my question," the young man said. He pulled out a large machine gun from his backpack and spun around. He let loose several dozen rounds, the shots striking the multiple joints of the giant monster's legs. The creature bellowed, but not in pain-Jack knew that sound by instinct now.
Rather, as though tension was being released. It took Jack a moment to realize what the gun was firing-beanbags. The legs of the beast swept for the young man, and Jack moved to grab him out of the way-Yet surprisingly, the boy jumped over the blow only a bit slower than Jack himself. Mac groaned.
"Usually I have Bloo to help me for this…" He glanced at Jack. "Can you-?"
"What do you need?" Jack asked. Mac smiled.
"A hand," Mac said. "We need to bring him down."
"But-" Jack said, but Mac shook his head.
"I'll explain later, just help!" Mac said. "Get me under his belly!"
Jack dashed forward, blocking the additional strikes of the giant monster's legs. Sparks flew from his magic sword, as Mac followed closely. Those legs that tried to get through the samurai's strikes were intercepted by shots from the gun. In this way, twirling around, the two got underneath the great beast's belly. Mac dropped his gun and pulled out… A large, foam claymore.
"What-?" Jack started, but Mac extended his hand. Jack nodded, and took it. He swung Mac around, and the boy swung his foam claymore, striking the joints of the beast. It roared again, and Mac tried to strike for its belly. Unfortunately, it rose above his swings. Jack and the boy's eyes met, and the samurai smiled. The boy smiled too.
"HYRAH!" Jack bellowed, swinging and throwing Mac up at the creature's belly. The boy swung his blade, adding a wriggling to his wrist that took Jack a moment to recognize.
But the cries that issued from the beast were unmistakable… It was laughing.
"HARHARHAR… HARHAR…" The beast fell back, collapsing into a heap as it giggled and chuckled. The boy landed on the ground, holding his foam claymore over his shoulder. He stood up, panting hard.
"Haa… Haa… Haa… Hoo!" Mac shook his head. "All right, enough of your cranky crap! Feeling better?"
The great beast nodded, eyes flashing. Mac nodded.
"Good. Now go back to the barn, and rest!"
The giant monster rose, and slowly scuttled off. Jack raised an eyebrow.
"That was… An imaginary friend?" Asked Jack. The boy nodded.
"Yeah… An Extremosaur. They were created by teenaged boys. Basically big, bad scary monsters… But!" Mac smiled. "Still imaginary friends. I've got a lot of experience in handling them. They just need a little TLC to keep them in-OOF!"
The boy was suddenly being held tightly by Bubbles, who placed a big kiss on his cheek. He blushed heavily.
"Mwah! That was great, Mac! He was really happy! You're the best imaginary friend therapist ever!" Bubbles flushed, and looked over at her grandpa. "Oh! Grandpa! Um, this is my boyfriend. Mac? This is my Grandpa, Jack."
"Nice to meet you, Mister Jack," Mac said with a grin. He held out his hand. "I'm Mac… Mac Kazoo."
Jack's own hand had been extending, and he froze. His eyes widened. His mind went back... To a future that no longer was.
"In all this time… Old friend… I never even knew your name…"
"Och, did I nae get around ta tellin ya? Well ain't I a one-eyed kelpie! They call me Comhnall! Comhnall MacAzoo of the Clan MacAzoo!"
"Grandpa? Grandpa?" Bubbles asked, concerned. Jack shook himself free of his reverie, and reached out to take Mac's hand.
"A pleasure… You will take good care of my granddaughter, will you not?" Asked Jack. Both teenagers blushed.
"We-We're just dating, grandpa!" Bubbles said. "We're not about to get married or anything!"
"Y-yeah… But uh… She takes care of me, more," Mac said with a shrug. "I mean, she's a superhero and all-"
Jack rested a hand on his shoulder. "Believe me… While my granddaughter is a formidable fighter and defender… Everyone needs someone to take care of them. Not all battles are physical. And I want to make sure my granddaughter has someone who can fight battles of the mind, as much as the body."
Mac flushed, as Bubbles nuzzled him happily.
"Mm," the blonde girl sighed, "Thanks Grandpa!"
"Yes… Thank you Mister Utonium," Mac said. Jack chuckled.
"Please… Call me… Jack," he said.
The rest of the afternoon was spent touring the grounds, and listening to Mac and Bubbles eagerly narrating and describing Fosters. Jack nodded, asked questions, and answered a few of his own. The majority of the time though, he just watched and listened.
It was probably just a coincidence. After all, even in the old timeline this boy and Jack's best friend were separated by hundreds, possibly thousands of years.
And yet...
"YEEHAAA!"
Jack leaped out of the way, as a metal sledge covered in grease and propelled by rockets flew down the grassy hill. It rounded the stables and flew back, coming apart into a pile of junk. A blue blob flew from the wreckage, and Jack caught it. It looked up at him, blinking with large eyes.
"Woah…!" Bloo murmured. Mac grabbed the blue creature and scowled.
"Bloo! What did I tell you about rocket sledding?!"
"Never do it without you providing extra ballast? Eh, I got bored," Bloo said with a huff. He made a kissy face. "Sides, you were off sucking face with Bubbles!"
"W-Was not!" Mac stuttered. The two began to argue, and Bubble giggled as she watched. She floated over to Jack, who looked on in confusion.
"That is… His imaginary friend?" Jack asked. Bubbles nodded.
"Mmhm! Bloo is… Well, he's actually a lot more like the rest of Mac's family."
Jack raised an eyebrow. Bubbles smiled.
"Mac's actually… Well… The mellow one."
Bubbles was treated to the rare sight of her grandpa throwing his head back and laughing uproariously. She never got an answer as to why… But he bought all of them ice cream, which was answer enough to the blonde for now.
Indeed...