The Powerpuff Girls: PSHAW!
or
Powerpuff School Hijinks And Wackiness
A Powerpuff Girls fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon and The Ero-Sennin
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. The Powerpuff Girls are the property of Cartoon Network. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
Written by scriviner...
The city of Townsville! A city of secrets and the unexpected!
"I know it's around here somewhere!" Buttercup complained bitterly as she flew through the living room, sweeping her gaze through the furniture.
Her two sisters looked up from where they were playing the Powerpuff Girls Z fighting game on the TV.
Blossom shivered uncomfortably on the couch as her sister's X-ray vision passed over her aura, "Will you stop doing that? It feels creepy!"
Bubbles giggled, "I think it tickles."
"What are you looking for anyway?" Blossom asked, pausing the game.
Her character, Rolling Bubbles, was in the middle of unleashing a devastating finishing combo on the character Bubbles was using Hyper Blossom, little realizing that Bubbles had just finished entering the counter combo code and would be turning that beating back on her sister. Of course, that wasn't too important to what was actually happening.
Buttercup held up a colorful green and white striped sock. "The pair to this is missing. I need to find it. I've got a date later. Can you guys just help me look? Please?"
Blossom heaved a sigh and rolled her eyes, "Fine. Come on." She nodded to Bubbles who in turn smiled.
Bubbles floated up off the couch and drifted around, using her own X-ray vision in a slow turn.
Buttercup made an inquisitive noise as she stared at the door to the Professor's lab. None of their vision powers could see through the thick metal of the door. The walls were likewise treated to prevent them from seeing in. It was the only part of the house that their X-ray vision couldn't see into.
"Hey, you know we're not supposed to go in there." Blossom admonished, waggling a finger at Buttercup. "There's usually science going on in there. It's not safe."
"But my sock could be in there!" Buttercup said with frustration.
"Why would it be in there?" Bubbles asked curiously. Her eyes widened and she thumped a fist into the palm of her hand. "It must have snuck in while our backs were turned. How sneaky!"
Blossom gave her blonde sister a dubious look.
Bubbles smiled back, "It's as good an excuse as any to peek. You know you've been dying to see what he does in there."
Blossom replied primly, "I have not."
Buttercup shrugged and punched the code in causing the door to slide open.
Blossom stared. "How did you know the Professor's private code?!"
"It's our birthday." Bubbles replied brightly.
"It's always our birthday," Buttercup said with a small smirk. "He uses it for his bank card PIN too."
Blossom gasped, "You didn't-!"
Buttercup gave a dismissive wave, "Oh, come on. I've never used it. But it's good to have in an emergency."
Blossom continued to give at her sister a long, hard stare. A sisterly stare of disapproval the Buttercup was invulnerable to due to continued exposure.
During that moment of mutual distraction, Bubbles had already floated enthusiastically into the Professor's laboratory.
"Hey! We really shouldn't be in there!" Blossom called after her sister.
That was all the distraction Buttercup needed to float in herself.
"Aw, man. Still no sock." Buttercup groaned.
"Did you guys know there's a hidden switch in the back of that closet over there?" Bubbles asked, pointing out the closet in question.
"Guys! We're going to get in trouble!" Blossom fretted, but found herself also floating in. Purely to make sure her sisters didn't do anything they weren't supposed to. Not to get a look at anything. No sirree.
Buttercup moved to where Bubbles had pointed and squinted, "Hey, you're right. The switch opens another closet around..." She pointed, "Here."
"What are you two doing?!" Blossom asked.
Bubbles giggled, "I think we just found where the Professor hides our Christmas presents!" She opened the closet, revealing a wide selection of cleaning products and reached into its darkened interior to flick the switch that was disguised as a coat hook.
Blossom looked towards where a section of wall was sliding into the floor and covered her face in her hands, "We are going to be so grounded."
It is important to note that she was peeking through her fingers.
If she was going to get into trouble anyway, it may as well be worth it.
Buttercup, her missing sock now forgotten, made a dismissive noise. "Don't worry about it. We'll just take a quick peek and put everything back exactly like it was. The Professor won't know anything happened." She ducked her head into the now open alcove.
Then came a shocked gasp.
"What? What's the matter?" Bubbles asked excitedly flying up to join her dark haired sister. "Does he already have presents in there? Are they cool? What am I getting?"
Blossom snorted in frustration and grabbed both of her sisters by their collars and jerked them sharply out of the revealed alcove. "Will you two get out of there?"
She frowned when she caught sight of the expressions on her sister's faces. Buttercup was in complete and utter shock. Bubbles looked... very confused.
She turned her attention towards the alcove. The alcove opened up into a second lab, which if Blossom calculated the space right seemed to open entirely into an area that would be more or less below their yard. There was some equipment and half-finished experiments lining one wall, which seemed innocuous enough, but then she noticed the boxes.
The entire wall lined with large white long boxes piled up to the ceiling. She frowned as she noticed that one of the boxes had been pulled out and was open on the table directly in front of the door. That was probably what Bubbles and Buttercup had seen.
The open box was filled with magazines.
Several magazines, obviously pulled out from the open box, were scattered on the table.
Glossy, full color magazines.
With a lot of photos.
Photos taken with an... exquisite attention to the smallest detail.
Blossom gasped in shock, covering her mouth with one hand, "Are those...?"
"Yup." Buttercup murmured as she floated in and snagged the topmost magazine. She seemed to be trying to pretend nonchalance even as she flipped to a centerfold and tilted her head to one side. "Wow."
Bubbles still seemed confused as she took one of the magazines as well and began thumbing through one, "These look like they've been read... like... a lot."
Blossom looked over to the box covered wall, "Are all of those..." She turned her X-ray vision back on and found that yes. They all were.
Buttercup put down the magazine she'd been flipping through and checked out another one. "Wooo... that's naughty."
"Put those down!" Blossom snarled. "That's disgusting."
Bubbles' lower lip trembled as she looked through the magazine she'd picked up, so full of photos. "Does... does the Professor like this sort of thing?" She sniffled.
"No, no he doesn't." Blossom put an arm around Bubbles' shoulders trying to comfort her, but the girl's blue eyes stared into hers and she couldn't keep it up, "I don't know. Considering how many of these magazines he has..."
"Hey, there's some vintage stuff here." Buttercup pointed out. "Some of these were from when the Professor wasn't much older than we were."
Blossom winced. "I'm sure there must be a rational explanation for-"
"The fact that he's been collecting this stuff for years?" Buttercup interrupted, jerking a thumb at the boxes.
"Bu-bu-but... he's the Professor. He... he can't like this kind of thing." Bubbles sniffled harder and it was obvious that she couldn't stop herself from crying. She dropped the magazine and began wailing as she flew out of the secondary lab. Their sensitive hearing continued to follow the sound of her soft crying to the living room.
Blossom winced.
"Oh man." Buttercup winced at Bubbles, before she turned back to the magazine in her hands and tilted her head, "Wow... that is just... whoa... nasty."
"Why are you still looking at that stuff!" Blossom exploded at her sister.
Buttercup gave a snort. "It's not like it's that bad."
"Yes it is!" Blossom said flailing an arm towards the boxes. "He has thousands of these... and he's obviously read them all!" She pointed to the magazines on the table. "Multiple times!"
Buttercup nodded, "Yep. So the Professor's into some freaky stuff. It's cool." She tilted her head once more as another photo caught her eye, "I didn't even think that was possible."
"It is not cool-!" Blossom began, but their enhanced hearing caught the sound of the front door opening and a cheerful voice calling out.
"Girls, I'm home!"
"Uh-oh." Blossom said.
"Hello, Bubbles-" The Professor began to say, but Bubbles wailed aloud once more.
"I don't even know you anymore!" She cried out, followed by the distinct zooming sound of someone flying away at high speed. Followed closely by the slamming sound of a door closing at close to the speed of sound.
"What's that abou-" The Professor began to say, his voice puzzled and concerned.
And getting closer.
"We should probably get out of here." Buttercup said, putting the magazine down and beginning to float out of the room. She stuck close to the ceiling, hoping to hide her escape on the well-known principle that most people rarely looked up.
On the other hand, most people hadn't raised superpowered children.
Blossom stuck her chin out mulishly and crossed her arms. Buttercup noted that there was distinct lack of 'getting out of here-ness' to her sister's stance.
Professor Utonium stepped through the door and looked at Blossom. Embarrassment coloring his face. "Oh. I guess that's why Bubbles was so upset."
"Professor!" Blossom said sharply, "How could you read this kind of trash?"
"Now, Blossom, it's not what you think-"
Blossom picked up one of the colorful, well-illustrated magazines and shook it under his nose, "You're not going to tell me you read it for the articles!"
"Well, obviously." The Professor said, trying his best to sound sincere.
This attracted at snicker from Buttercup who was still hovering right above him. She did want to leave, but the Professor blocking the door.
Blossom pinched the bridge of her nose trying to stave off an oncoming headache, "No wonder Mojo Jojo turned out the way he did, if you kept leaving this kind of stuff lying around!"
"Now, I didn't leave anything lying around! This was all safely put away-"
"Professor, we found this... stuff... on the table." Blossom said with exaggerated patience.
"Oh." He paused, the embarrassed flush on his face deepening, "Well... that is..."
Blossom's eyes grew wide, "Oh my God. You... you were showing these to Dexter, weren't you?"
"Well... he... that is..." He rubbed the back of his neck, "You know how it is."
"No, I don't. Why don't you enlighten me, Professor." She glared.
"Your boyfriend is very curious. He and I came down here to experiment a little and well... one thing led to another..."
"So you decided it was a good idea to show him these magazines?!" Blossom's voice was almost a shriek. "You snuck my boyfriend into your lab and let him see all of... all of this?!"
"Just the tamer stuff," The Professor admitted sheepishly.
Blossom sputtered, "Bubbles is right! It's like I don't even know you!"
"Come on..." The Professor took a step into the room, which Buttercup took as her cue to sneak out. She really didn't want to get in the middle of this. "I'm sorry you girls had to find out this way, but you're almost adults now."
Blossom continued to glare.
"I'm a grown scientist." He fidgeted uncomfortably and tugged at his collar. "I have needs."
"Needs you are trying to inflict on my boyfriend, I couldn't help but notice." Blossom said, her tone hostile.
"A boy as bright as Dexter should get some exposure to this sort of thing... it's the only way to help him fight temptation when the time comes." Professor Utonium said almost primly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Blossom looked confused.
"I mean those magazines saw me through some very bleak times in my life." The Professor said, his voice warm and nostalgic. "Why, that very magazine you have in your hand. That was the Winter Special. Just knowing that Doctor Goodbody had managed to make an ice-based nano-swarm rampage through downtown Detroit helped me overcome the temptation to build my own snow-based engines of destruction."
Blossom glanced at the magazine then all but whined, "But they're evil magazines, Professor."
"Well, maybe a bit amoral and ethically dubious," The Professor admitted, "But they're all long-running magazines and are perfectly reputable publications."
Blossom looked scandalized, "But... Mad Science Weekly? Evil Entrepreneur? The Overlord Lair Companion? These aren't reputable!"
The Professor put his hand on Blossom's shoulder, "I hope someday you'll understand. Just because I read the magazine doesn't mean I want to do what it talks about. And it certainly doesn't mean I don't respect your heroic work, either, sweetheart."
Blossom gave her father a doubtful look then asked with only just a touch of suspicion, "You're not going to turn evil on us are you, Professor?"
"Of course not!" He smiled, trying to put her at ease, "Believe me, the only time I use anything that I've learned from those magazines is when I'm trying to terrify your boyfriends." He frowned slightly, vexation clear on his face, "Except Bubbles' boyfriend doesn't scare and yours just seems to take it as a challenge and keeps trying to impress me."
"And you're sure you're not trying to steal my boyfriend?" Blossom asked.
"Of course not! I just wanted to share my experience in the evil sciences with him." He replied.
"You're sure?"
He chuckled and rolled his eyes, "Of course, I'm sure. Tell you what, why don't you join us in the evil lab next time he comes to visit? Maybe you'll like it."
"Er..." Blossom blushed a little, "Well, I guess... some of those articles looked kind of... um... interesting."
"Wonderful! Now, I should go upstairs and talk to your sisters and make sure they understand I'm evil because I have lifetime subscriptions to evil publications."
"You mean NOT evil, right?"
"Oh, right. Not evil. Of course, sweetheart."
Well... What did you expect? Not that, I imagine!