CHAPTER: Winds of Hurt
Blinking against the glare of the setting sun, Jareth sighed as he leaned his forehead against the cold windowpane, letting the icy sting of cold glass cool him. He had to get out of here, the looming presence of the thrones were slowly driving him insane... Air, he needed air and freedom. Straightening he stepped back pulling the tall window open. The frigid wind pelting him with snow for an eternal moment, before hurling himself into the embrace of the air with a loud screech.
. . .
The room was large, and unlike Jareth's personal haven, sumptuously furnished with heavy, but beautiful furniture. Every piece was wrought from golden oak and polished to a high sheen by loving hands. The drapes, rugs and bedding all held creamy golden white tones made the room seem somehow very clean and modern, despite the ancient sandstone walls and the obviously medieval carvings.
Running her fingers over one of the tiny trembling Lily of the Valley, that filled the large vase, at the centre of the little coffee table she stood beside, Sarah shuddered. Snow and sleet were assaulting the tall gothic windows in thick opaque waves, as the unseasonal storm roared. It had started not long after, she had left Jareth, and Sarah had no doubts as to the origin of it, she could almost feel the tendrils of the Labyrinths power as they wove through the heavy clouds.
" My Lady, Will you require anything else?"
Turning slowly towards the young Goblin maid, Sarah sighed, and motioned for the girl to come closer: " Yes I would like it if you would keep me company, just for a little while. "
" Arhm yes, my lady... It. .. Arhm Yes. ": Shuffling slowly closer, the goblin finally dared to peak up at her mistress, through her long silvery lashes. Smiling softly, Sarah patted the couch beside her in an obvious invitation. One that the girl was not hesitant to take, settling down, she gracefully arranged her long limbs until she was comfortable. Before meeting Sarah's smiling eyes.
She was tall, at least four or five inches taller than Sarah, with skin that was a strange silver, greyish green, and a thick tumble of silver curls held back by a thin lace band in a brilliant crimson colour. It still seemed strange to Sarah, that she actually found most of the Goblins rather beautiful and Beinhill was certainly no exception, with her wide almond shaped eyes, that shone an intense silvery blue, with a bright red pinprick in the centre of her pupil. She had a triangular face, just like most of the goblins, and she also had a large sharp eagle nose, but combined with her soft constantly smiling lips, the pretty swirling markings around her eyes and high cheekbones, it made for a very exotic and feminine expression. Though Beinhill didn't seem aware of her own looks, but then it had already become very apparent to Sarah that it was the coldly perfect Fey version of beauty that was celebrated, and then only that of the fair seelie court.
Holding out her hand Sarah smoothly produced a bright crystal, which she let float to the coffee table and transform into a sumptuous tray piled high with cakes, cookies and steaming tea: So Beinhill dig in, I'm certain you feel the cold of Jareth's temper as deeply as I do.
Nodding Beinhill gingerly accepted the full steaming bone china mug: " We all do mistress, though it is not usually this frigid, in the past his majesty would be far more likely to set the sky ablaze or fill the Labyrinth with cleaners or pour boiling oil in the oubliettes."
" Boiling oil... but that's barbaric , how could he do such a thing? "
" Oh he would never do anything like that, if there was anyone in them and never without retracting the helping hands, and the burning sky never hurt anyone, well except for those who couldn't sleep because of the light and heat, but that's it... or well.. there was once when... no that is not a story for now... "
Curiosity piqued Sarah latched onto Beinhill's slip: " No tell me, I'm curious ..."
Beinhill squirmed obviously uncomfortable with going into the subject, but it was her queen who had commanded it, and she could not avoid answering: " Once some two millennia past there was a rebellion, some of the Generals decided that King Jareth's adamant refusal to launch full scale assaults into any human war, was cowardly. And as a result, they... well they led a revolt against the very palace. But Our King did not cower in fear as they had expected.. Oh no, He meet them at the stairs, Just him. No guard, no nothing.. He didn't even wear any armour...and... He addressed them telling them to lay down their arms and turn back, that they would only get this one chance, before he would destroy not just them, but every last descendant of their bloodlines...But,.. The generals were young and the lust for blood boiled fiercely in their veins, thus they marched on certain in their ability to overrun one man... We all stood at the wall watching in terror, certain that the charging horde would rip our king asunder. But that didn't happen, no. King Jareth raised his hands and the ground crumbled beneath the feet of the offending horde, as tendrils of stone shot up, trapping them in a cage... There was some fifteen hundred souls that was caught that day. Jareth approached them and I still believe that he would have been lenient if it hadn't been for the one traitor who had hidden inside the castle, and who chose that moment to speed from the gates, and plunge a cold wrought dagger into our kings back... "
Shuddering at the memory, Beinhill gripped the mug in white knuckled hands, her long silver claws scraping against its smooth surface: " Our king, he... He rounded upon the cowardly scoundrel and he ripped him apart slowly with his own hands. I had never seen anything so gruesome as that.. well at least not until later... Once the traitor was dying on the steps of the castle , Our king ordered the remaining rebels brought to the grand plaza, and their families found and brought in chains... "
Each rebel was brought out alongside with his family, and then they were given the choice to kill their families themselves, with the weapons they had brought with them, or to watch their loved ones burn to death... only those that were young enough not to be able to remember or who's minds could be wiped clean were spared. But none beyond ten summers were given quarter. "
Shock left Sarah staring at the maid : " He killed the children? but... oh god what kind of monster is he..."
" The kind who does what need doing my queen. If he had show even the tiniest bit of leniency towards those oath breakers, then it would have spelled complete and utter disaster for the realm. No Our King did what needed doing... We are Goblins, war and strife is in our very blood, if we are not ruled with an iron fist then... We tend to wreck more havoc than any other race... We are predators in our nature my queen, never forget that, and also what our wise king did saved many lives, we have not seen a large scale disturbance since that time of blood..."
Yes Sarah heard the words of the maid, yet the horror of the deed had already tainted her heart, Jareth had had parents slaughter their own children... Children, some might even have been some of those innocents that he claimed to save... and he had killed them...: "what became of the rebels? "
" They were spelled with greater endurance, and cursed so that they could not die from injury, not until Jareth allowed them to, and then they were impaled, flayed and salt was poured over them. Then they were mounted upon the walls of the great Plaza, their bodies left to rot while they were still alive... "
And that was it, vaulting to her feet Sarah raced past the maid and into the adjoining bathroom, throwing up everything but her soul.
Smirking to herself Beinhill rose slowly, stretching like a content cat, and that was indeed also what she resembled as she sauntered towards the open door, and the sounds of her queens retching. Pausing by the door, Beinhill had to concentrate to pull her face into an appropriately worried frown, before knocking softly on the door: "My lady are you ill? Did the tea not agree with you? Surely it was not my tale... I assure you His majesty only did what needed doing, and he did allow those traitors to die after a few years... My lady? "
pushing the door open, Beinhill poked her head inside, just as Sarah retched again, the queen was kneeling beside the toilet, gripping the smooth marble bowl as she vomited again. Hurrying to her Queens side, the lanky goblin knelt beside her, and ran cool fingers through her hair, pulling it back and out of harm's way.
" I'm sorry my lady if the tale cause you this much discomfort, but it is indeed a grisly business! ruling Goblins I mean, if we do not fear the iron fist then we are very difficult to manage. And Labyrinthian Goblins more than most... My lady?"
" I'm fine... I'm... ": Retching again Sarah shuddered as nothing but acidic bile erupted from her lips leaving her with a burning throat, and watering eyes. Settling back on her heels, Sarah wiped at the tears that had streaked her cheeks, grateful for the cool wash cloth that Beinhill pressed into her hand with a concerned frown. God all those children, The very thought made bile rise again. But Sarah forced herself to draw in deep shuddering breaths, banishing the throbbing burn, before it could make her retch once more. Still her voice shook as she said: "Thank you Beinhill?. Though I'm sorry you had to see this, I really thought I knew him... I never imagined that he was capable of doing something so... atrocious to anyone, I mean he always seemed... Oh what am I saying, I hardly know the man... Well at least not in this life..."
Confusion creased Beinhill's delicate brow: " In this life? What do you mean my lady? I don't.. "
Pressing the cold cloth against her forehead Sarah sighed, as she wrestled with whether or not she should confide in the maid. She didn't know her, they had spent less than an hour together. Yet there was something about Beinhill that made Sarah want to trust her, to confide in her, and after all why shouldn't she? She was the queen, and according to Bolton, Beinhill had been a maid of Jareth's private chamber for more than fifteen hundred years, before she had been made Sarah's personal maid, or was that lady in waiting, Sarah wasn't really certain, and honestly it didn't really matter anyway. If she wanted to confide in someone then she would.
" Jareth.. His majesty" : God that sounded weird to her: " Told me that he has been visiting my spirit in the realm of the unborn for something like three thousand years. We have lived hundreds of lives together in some kind of living dream. But I. .. I don't remember it. It's just so strange for someone who have lived above ground, in a world where nothing like this EVER happens, I mean most people think that goblins are just things to scare children with, and don't get me started on... Beinhill?"
The look on Beinhill's face could best be described as broken, and crestfallen: " Oh my lady neither does it here. No living soul can enter the realm of the unborn, no one but Gaia herself can move through the veil to that realm. I'm afraid that what His majesty has been claiming is an impossibility... I... am...so sorry my lady. "
Oh sweet goddess, the look on the mortals face, as Beinhill slammed the final nail into the coffin: "Maybe he dreamt it during his absence, maybe he used that dream as a refuge when he was tortured? "
" Not possible.." : Pushing herself up from the floor, Sarah stared down at Beinhill as if she had just been told that every monster in the closet was real Sarah simply turned on her heel, leaving an inwardly jubilant Beinhill alone in the room with the words: " you can leave I need to be alone.. I need to think.."
" But my lady..."
" No Beinhill leave, I need to think."
" Yes my lady... and my lady, for all it is worth... I meant no harm."
Rising quickly, Beinhill spun and all but ran from her queens chambers, her slender long fingered hand clamped tightly over her smirking lips, holding her thrilled cackle back. Goddess above, mortals were so gullible, so easy to manipulate with so little magic, all it had taken was a faint compulsion spell to make the simpering girl easily accept Beinhill's tale. Not that it had been false. Oh no it hadn't, but then truth was at best a fickle beast in the hands of a scorned woman. Slowing her pace, Beinhill allowed herself a soft laughter as she sauntered down the deserted hall, Jareth should have known better than to bring that pretty little thing here, mortals were fine for sport, but that was all they were useful for. They most certainly were not suitable for ruling. Pausing before an enormous mirror, she ran her pale hands down her tunic, as if straightening a gown, smirking to herself as she mouthed:" Queen Beinhill wife to, Jareth king of the goblins."
Once that vapid human left, Jareth would soon forget her, and the delusion he had build in his mind, and then Titania would use her influence on Jareth, and make him see just how good a queen Beinhill would make. Yes she would make a far better wife to Jareth than that pitifully naive creature.
Pulling her long mane of silky hair back, Beinhill spun as if twirled by a dance partner, before waltzing happily down the corridor humming softly to herself.
. . .
Icy sleet beat against him as he hurled himself up against the furious onslaught, with a haunting screech. The cold ripped through him like knives, his pale barn owl form too small to retain its warmth against the tumultuous weather. Yet on he flew, struggling against the strength of the storm, with muscles too numb to feel, yet still the pain burned in his heart. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that he could not escape this tempest born by his own shattered heart, but he was driven by the need to outrun that haunting voice in the back of his mind.
"She never loved you, it was just a game for her, seduce the goblin king and win a kingdom! Break his heart and steal his magic... He is just one more monster for the hero to slay, who could ever love someone like him."
Banking up against the storm, he swerved narrowly missing a tall spire that sudden loomed above him. The abrupt maneuverer sending him careering into the sharp corner of another spire.
Pain flared along the bones in his delicate wing, forcing yet another screech from his beak as he plummeted onto the hard stone of a balcony. Battered and bruised, Jareth transformed back to his human self and gingerly pulled himself up to lean against the frigid stone of a achingly familiar balustrade.
" Dammit, goddess damn it all to hell. But that is what I get from trying to run from myself.. Of all the bloody balconies I could have crashed on. ... "
Snow was beginning to cling to his already soaked and frozen poet shirt weighting its wide sleeves down plastering it to his icy flesh, as it already had his hair. It was so cold it made his flesh burn, almost like oil on the skin, yet Jareth could not tear himself away from the scene behind the large stained glass doors. Sarah sat, no huddled in front of the roaring fireplace, her entire body folded in on herself as her shoulders shook with silent sobs.
Tears... A fragile hope flared to life in Jareth's heart, if she was shedding tears, then maybe, just maybe, she still cared, maybe it was all simple a misunderstanding. Perhaps there was still hope. Rising slowly he hissed as his elbow throbbed with pain, but it was quickly forgotten as he placed his gloved hand on the handle, pushing the door open.
Her head snapped up, and fiery green eyes blazed up at him, as she snarled:" Get out! you monster... How could you do that to innocent children? How could you force their parents to kill them! You monster, you. .. you. .. tyrant!."
His heart broke, there was no other word for it, however corny it might sound, there was no other way to describe the explosive, burning pain that stole his breath away, and stopped him mid-step, caught between the frigid storm and the wash of dry near scalding heat.
Then the true nature of her words sunk in and Jareth's vision turned scarlet as rage filled him. Pulling himself up in his full height he towered over her, that NAIVE SELFISH LITTLE CUNT! Who was she to place herself in judgement on an event that took place millennia before she was EVEN born. How dare she, she had no idea what it took to rule, let alone rule Labyrinthian goblins. How could he ever have considered her to be a worthy queen.
" You overreach you pretentious little ...you know NOTHING of the burdens of a crown! How to weigh the good of the many against the sacrifice of the few! "
Leaping to her feet, Sarah rounded on him like a furious harpy, her eyes and teeth flashing white in the dim light :" God you sound just like any old earth dictator, do you even believe in that drivel yourself? The sacrifice of the few, please! NO you just wanted to punish them for defying you, for wanting to be free of your cruelty! And who could blame them! YOU ARE A LYING MONSTER! A HORRID EVIL CREATURE, WHO WILL STOP AT NO DECEPTION TO GET WHAT HE WANTS! "
Gusts of wind tore through the room extinguishing the candles and plunging them into near darkness as Jareth roared: " SO I LIE DO I! AND PRAY TELL MY LADY, WHEN HAVE I BEEN ANYTHING BUT UTTERLY TRUTHFUL TOWARDS YOU.? Have I not answered your every question? Have I not told you all, bared my very soul for you, I love you! Yet it seems as if I am the only one who feels thus.. And you call me a liar.. "
Closing the short distance between them, Sarah pressed a stiff accusatory finger into a frozen and sore scar in the centre of Jareth's chest hissing coldly: " Not lied oh what about that little fable about the lives we have lived together! hmm where is the proof? How would I ever be able to know that you were telling the truth? As far as I have heard that what you claim can't be done...No one can enter that realm, not now, not EVER! How stupid do you think I am! "
Stopping before he could utter a word Jareth just gaped at the unconcealed malice of her words, hatred burned out at him through those cold green eyes. Its heated fire stealing all words from his suddenly frozen lips.
She hated him, and worst of all she thought the memories he had offered her naught but lies from him, spun to bring her to heel.
The pain in his chest flared, forcing a sharp gasp from him as he clutched the sodden fabric of his shirt, the heat of the room was like the flames of the pit as it licked at his skin. And the pain brought tears to his bicolored eyes as he took an involuntary step back, away from her furious eyes: " I. .. I. .. Never lied, and once I reclaim my..."
But that was the snag wasn't it, yes he could use the power of the Labyrinth, but it was not truly his, and without his own power to act as a base then his hold on the Labyrinths power would be tentative at the very least. And it would never be strong enough to recreate the crystal he had offered her.
" Your power you mean, Your oh so precious magic, WELL ISN'T THAT CONVENIENT! NO POWER means NO MEMORIES" : Her lips twisted cruelly as she spat the words out:" But maybe I should be grateful that you are too weak to spell me into believing that little star-crossed lover spiel you have going there... hmm Goblin King! Now GET OUT and leave me in peace..."
Blinking once, Jareth drew in a sudden sharp breath before bowing formally as he hid his anguish behind stiff circumstance: "As you wish my lady."
Then he spun and transformed in that same movement into the small pale barn owl once more, speeding out and into the onslaught of ice, with a screech of... pain? Staring into the rolling waves of snow, Sarah couldn't shake the sudden cold feeling that she might have just committed the BIGGEST MISTAKE, of her life.
. . .
A cold wrought iron dagger thrust straight into his heart could not have caused any more pain than her coldly snarled words, or cruel eyes. But the searing pain and harsh words also brought a strange icy clarity. If she trusted him so little and could lie so readily, then he had been a fool, but at least he had discovered the truth now, before she had become an integral part of his life, and before her chance to return to the aboveground vanished. Screeching out his pain, Jareth flapped his wings harshly, ignoring the painful protests of his bruised wing, sure he could heal it, but Sarah was right he was a monster, and monsters deserved to suffer, alone and in the cold. The screams of the wind deafened him as he was tossed from side to side by the furious gale, he knew that he had created this storm, and that it was his own shattered heart that fuelled the tempest. He could end it at any given time, yet the cold lancing through him, and the punishing blows from the wind was no more than a monster like him deserved.
"You killed children, you horrid grotesque monster..."
. . .
" Tell me young miss ar yer completely daft or is it that yer just have no clue about what yer just did ta him?": Hoggle's normally calm and kind voice, was fairly shaking with anger as he materialized just inches from Sarah's knees. Anger narrowing his eyes as he jabbed a steely finger into her stomach, snarling: "Is that how much yer trust him? hmm takin the word of a clueless trollop over that of the Goblin King? "
" Well it so happens that I... I. .": confusion clouded Sarah's mind as she blinked in stunned silence, and covered her mouth with her hands as realization suddenly dawned on her: " oh God Hoggle what have I done? "
" Yer have hurt the man who loves yer more than his own life, that's what yer done! There ain't the thing he'd ever deny yer. And yet this is how yer show him that yer love him? cause yer do love him don't yer?
" I.. I oh god Hoggle I'm so confused? Yes I think I love him, but why would Beinhill say those things about him? She told me about the rebellion, and how he made the parents kill their own families, or watch them burn... Why would she lie like that? "
" Well yer better make up yer mind, cause tha youngling ain't got time for " A think so"s. And Beinhill did not lie ta yer, thou she ought ta have told yer the full story. "
Stumbling to the white leather couch Sarah sank down and buried her tear stained face, in her hands, mumbling: " I am such an idiot...Jesus ... But the realm of the unborn and the living dream, it just sounds so far fetched, and I have no proof. How am I supposed to believe in something that I only have his word for? I mean... It's only forever right, not long at all hmm"
Ambling over the couch Hoggle sat next to her, his legs dangling above the ground like a carefree child's, belying the anger still present in his aged and weathered face:" IF yer had bothered to ask someone about it, yer might have found tha someone could have answered yer questions...aeh young miss."
" Okay what the hell are you hinting at Hoggle? Who would know? "
Leaning back against the plush backrest, Hoggle rested his intertwined fingers across his stomach and sent Sarah a dark unamused look: " Hmph I would nay have pegged yer for being this dense lil miss, now see if yer can follow me on this. What is ma relationship with the young pup?"
" You are his foster father..."
" Yes very good, now why am I Jareth's foster father?"
"Well you said that it was because you were the only one who were neutral.."
" And why would a completely neutral being such as ma self want ta raise the git of some puffed up fey wench? "
" Well because you wanted him to become a fair and impartial ruler... but why you? Are you a prince or a king or something?"
Giving her a slanted smirk Hoggle nodded: " Yer might say that I'm something..."
Turning to fully face the stunted creature, Sarah stared at him, as if truly seeing him for the very first time, taking in his wrinkled face, curled into a crooked smirk, that deepened the interlacing lines on his face until they looked like the lines of a...
" Oh god Hoggle, you are him, you are the Labyrinth, that's why I heard you in the glade, why you were the one helping me win back Toby... You..."
" Yeah, so when I tell yer that the young pup did indeed manage ta follow yer voice through tha veil, I know that it had nay been done before, but the pull of yer voice was strong enough ta light his way. And yeah yer did spend every night in the living dream, so there he did nay lie ta yer."
The look in Hoggle's eyes were one of both anger and sorrow, as he glared at her.
" But what about the rebellion did that happen? Did he really make the rebels kill their children?"
Nodding darkly Hoggle growled: "Aye that he did, but if he had nay done that then many more would have suffered far worse, and he did show enough mercy to let the children be asleep when they died. And every soul 'cept those of the rebels were given back ta the great earth mother, ta be allowed a new life. That be more mercy than their victims ever got."
" Oh god why would he do that": Horror and disgust paled Sarah's face.
" Oh NO, Lil miss don't yer dare judge something that happened neigh on sixteen hundred years back, by ta'days genteel standards. Them were nothing but murdering maniacs, who burned down every last village that would not, join e'm. And the Labyrinth were suffering, let me tell yer. It was the fourth rebellion in just twenty years. He had been so good to them, letting them go home the first time, after swearing never ta take up arms against him again. The second time they were thrown in the dungeon for five years, before being sent home. Ten years later they broke their vows again, and this time they were imprisoned ten years, and made ta rebuild the damage they'd caused. And then came the last and most bloody rebellion, twelve thousand three hundred and twenty nine innocent souls were slaughtered by fire and iron before, Jareth managed ta force them ta come face him. They did so brandishing the slain bodies of infants on their banners, their skin painted with the mothers still warm blood. And now yer tell me that Jareth was cruel! If he had left those babes and widows ta live, then he would have made naught but martyrs out of the rebels. Nay the young pup did what needed doing, and don't think that it did nay hurt him, cause it did. Jareth feels every death through me, and he suffered greatly. It was years before he stopped using a heavy glamour ta hide the way his hands trembled with pain... Now tell me what would yer have done?
Tears rolled down her face in rivulets as she cried for the harsh words she had spewed at Jareth, she could never take them back, never make them unspoken. And in that moment she couldn't keep from wondering whether she had just destroyed any chance of them ever being together.
" Christ Hoggle I fucked up didn't I? "
" Aye miss yer did. ... And that begs the question how are yer gonna make it right again?"
" I need to talk with him, to tell him that I was wrong, that I'm sorry... that I was. . that I was...I don't know.. I really don't know what came over me, I was just so mad at him, like I wanted to just rip his heart from his chest and stomp on it... All I could think of were that it could have been Toby had I not won, and I just got SO angry. "
" Well, no matter wha yer gonna have ta wait, cause the youngling is still out trying ta run from his broken heart, so I'd spend the time trying ta find your right words."
And with those words, Hoggle got up, and faded from sight, leaving Sarah to her own thoughts.