CHAPTER: My Will As Strong... (b)
Stumbling off his unsteadily wavering mount, Shiver fell heavily to his knees, sucking in deep shuddering breaths as he fought to dispel the disabling disorientation and nausea. Slowly breath by breath, he forced his still squirming insides to still and return to their original positions.
It seemed to last an eternity, but finally he felt steady enough to rise, and take in his surroundings. They were in a small clearing surrounded by a forest of tall pines that smelled lightly of rain and the savoury scent of cooking food...
Turning to Didymus Shiver opened his mouth to speak, only to stop himself. Didymus knelt on the needle covered ground, his dark red cloak wrapped around their kings tense body, as Jareth shook and whimpered.
Rushing to them, Shiver dropped to his knees beside his king:" Great goddess hold on my liege, Sarah is not far from us."
The sound of Sarah's name whipped Jareth's eyes open, and fixed his pale gaze on Shiver.
Every word pained him, that was obvious, yet still he forced himself to speak :" Sarah... Must.. Not...See..."
Gripping hold of Shivers beaked helmet Jareth pulled him down until his forehead rested against the cold blood slicked metal:" Leave her... her. . hate... she. ... will...need...it... don't... please... Please... Shiver..."
Gently prying Jareth's death grip off of the metal of his helmet, Shiver flipped it open, meeting Jareth's desperately pleading eyes :" I cannot my liege, there is hope still but only if you dare to fight for it. Please Jareth I see your pain, And I understand why you would wish to give up... But please you must fight on you must,... "
He knew that it was cruel, yet he was desperate, and if Jareth gave up now, it would all have been for naught. Casting a quick glance up at Sir Didymus tearstained face, Shiver did something he had never thought he would ever do to the man who had raised him, and taught him the chivalric code by which he lived.
He lied.
" Please my Liege if you pass this far from her, in her own world, she too will die, your death will kill her!"
" What? ... No... That... No...": Shaking his head in shocked denial, Jareth tried to tell Shiver why he was wrong, that Sarah would not die, that... But it hurt too much for him to construct a coherent thought, and follow the linear trains of logic it required to prove a claim..
And he was left with a muddled mass of incoherent thoughts that were being pushed back by a single desperate burning need.
The need to see her before his last breath.
" I...Will...Try...I Will...Sarah..."
His voice was a whispered sigh as he let his eyes slide closed in agonized resignation. Oh goddess how he wanted to see her just once more, to tell her that he truly loved her, and had never stopped ... Pain bright and clear lanced through him, arching his back and ripping a strained gasp from his burning throat, as the magical healing he had done to himself came undone, through the lack of magic to maintain the web. Strong fingers closed on his, granting him the strength to hold on and fight the poison flooding his system. It burned like fire in every part of his body, as it spread with his blood. Time was running out and soon there would be no fighting the poison and injuries.
Thick arms wrapped themselves around him offering soft soothing warmth as he rested against a wide leather clad chest. Resting his head against a wide shoulder Jareth coughed weakly ,and let himself relax into the strong rolling gait that carried him through the darkening forest.
. . . . .
Jareth's entire body fell limp against his chest as Didymus took the first few steps towards the shadow swathed pine trees:" We must make haste, I feareth that time doth run out... Doth thou know this forest ? It does not appear to be any part of our Underground realm"
Nodding Shiver said :" Yes I know this forest and no it is not a part of the underground, it is the forest not far from our lady Sarah's old home ."
"But that is hours from her place of study ... And we cannot hope to ride swiftly enough, not on our already exhausted mounts. What shall we do?"
Turning to face Sir Didymus, Shiver grinned widely as he let a soft green mist envelope him, changing his armour into black leather pants, and a biker style jacket, while his skin turned the pale golden of a human:" We find a car ,,..."
. . . . .
The world outside seemed to fly by as Jareth rested his cheek against the cold glass of the cars side window. It felt strange to sit here and listen to the hushed conversation from the front seats, while the light of the dying day illuminated the fields, that seemed to stretch far beyond the horizon, and know that he would never see another dawn.
Strangely the thought no longer held any fear for him, it was as if each traveled mile caused him to shed more and more of his thoughts and feelings, leaving it all at the darkened roadside. And soon nothing would remain, nothing but his need to reach Sarah before the darkness of death claimed him .
Dead stars glittered above them as Shiver drove them relentlessly through the desolate countryside, following the pull of his queen like a hound on the scent. Letting out a soft half groaned sigh Jareth struggled to keep his eyes open as he took in the sheer unfiltered strength of the magic that flowed through the fabric of the aboveground. It flowed thick and free here, through every living thing, like liquid light, it's bright colours sharp and painful to his aching eye's, but beautiful as the rising sun.
There was power here, rich and undiluted, more bountiful than it had ever been any place in the underground, and Jareth could feel it as it pushed in from every side trying to fill the black void that had once been his core. It was so tempting to just let it in, and allow it to fill that nearly empty spot. But he couldn't even if he hadn't been dying. No one borne of underground could wield the raw wild magic of the aboveground, it was simply too potent and it would burn out anyone foolish enough to try.
Smiling slightly to himself, Jareth coughed, trying to ease the feeling of fluid filling his chest, stealing his breath away. The thought of wielding the raw magic had always excited him, and only the threat of death had been enough to keep him from attempting it. But now.. now there were things he needed to accomplish, and only one way to do it, but he would have to wait. Yes dying he may be but he would die in a manner of his own choosing.
Letting his eyes fall shut, Jareth sighed softly as he allowed his shattered dying body to relax into the movement of the car.
. . . . .
Sleep... .
Goddess above but she needed to rest, yet sleep seemed to escape her every attempt. And that left Sarah sitting in her window sill once more, staring dully at the bustling Friday crazy campus beyond the glass. This entire day had been off, to begin with she had overslept and missed her first class, then there had been that incessant feeling that she should be doing something else no matter what she did. And finally she had constantly seen Jareth out of the corner of her eye, just standing there with a sad smile on his lips. None of that had done anything to lift her already down beaten mood.
And now all she could think of were how much she missed him, and how she hated what they had become. It had all turned to ash and dust, as all they had hoped for was ripped from their grasp leading them to mourn the lives they would never have.
Tears burned and were shed as Sarah stared up at the full moon, her parents had at least died together. Not even that would be allowed them. For all she knew Jareth could be dead already ... and she would have to go on living. ...
Dead...
The thought tore through her heart, like a knife through wet tissue paper, and the pain was enough to blacken the world and tear a ragged cry from her lips. If he ... No, there were no "If" about it, Jareth would die, and she would be the one who had killed him ... Because she had not been strong enough to save him, and keep him safe. It all just felt so pointless now that he was lost to her, life had lost its glory, at the most ironic of times. To feel so desolate and weary of life, now that death seemed to be beyond her, just felt wrong.
Reaching up Sarah's fingers unconsciously traced the thin chain her blank sigil hung from, feeling each smooth link as it passed under her cold skin. It all seemed so distant now, like some teenage dream. Had it not been for the many marks and changes, Sarah would indeed have thought it so. But the aching emptiness that resided where her heart had beaten just short a week ago, was a constant and cruel reminder.
Pressing her head against the cold glass, Sarah fought the traitorous sobs as they shook her shoulders, but it was in vain. It simply hurt too much.
" Jareth... why? ... goddess I miss you so fucking much, Please... I just want to see you one last time... Just..."
A soft knock on the door whipped Sarah's head up:" Go Away Steve!... We are sleeping...take your keg and shove it right up your a..."
" It's not Steve my Lady, it is I Shiver... I ..."
She was running across the room, to rip the door open before Shiver had finished speaking.
" Shiver?! How... why, I thought that the gates were closed... wait, did Jareth surrender? Has he come to see reason, oh please sweet goddess he sent you didn't he?... Shiver? "
The look on Shiver's face stopped her dead. He was pale and obviously exhausted to death, his eyes dark and brimming with pain, sorrow, and a host of unspoken words.
"Shiver ? Please, What aren't you telling me?"
" My Lady please, may I...may we, enter?"
" We? Who are we? ... I mean yes... come in": Ripping the door open Sarah stepped back to allow the tall willowy figure to enter.
There was a soft rustling of bedding, as Lilly sat up in her bed sleepily rubbing her eyes :" Hey what's up Sarah, who's this dude? ... whoa, is he GREEN? I.. wait, why is he green?! oh god he's a goblin Right! oh this is so cool... So are you here to bring Sarah back to her king?... Hey what's that? !"
Moving aside, Shiver held the door open, as if letting someone else in, only there didn't seem to be anyone.
At first...
Closing the door firmly behind him, Shiver turned and nodded to the thin air:" It is safe now."
Reality split like a curtain, to let the enormous figure dressed like a swashbuckler in red leather, step out.
"Didymus! ": Sarah's voice filled with surprise as she stared at her red furred friend and knight:" But what are you doing here? And what is that you are holding?... oh goddess is that.."
Tears thick and heavy instantly filled her eyes, as Sarah realized who it was that Didymus held so gently. Her hands shook as she carefully drew the crimson cloak wrapped around him aside, to reveal Jareth's deathly pale face.
" Oh goddess, no please don't be dead, please.."
" Rest assured my queen, our king still draws breath, though his time is fast drawing to an end. It was the wish of our great earth mother that we bring him here to be by thy side, in this his..., my lady?"
Sarah's hands were gently cradling Jareth's icy face, her full attention locked on his closed eyes as she whispered:" Jareth please, open your eyes and look at me, I know that you can hear me...come on my love, you can do this for me. ..."
But there was no reaction, not even the tiniest flutter of those impossible long and dark lashes. Sarah's eyes never stopped looking for even the slightest sign that he had heard her, as she said:" Didymus put him on my bed... Jareth? Please. .. Jareth you can't leave me like this. .."
Standing back, Sarah watched with anxious eyes as Jareth's limp form was laid gently on her narrow box bed, and the cloak pulled back revealing the torn bloodstained clothes beneath. The world bleed away, as Sarah sat down beside him, with her heart in her throat. He looked dead, his naturally light coloured skin paled to a ghoulish transparent yellowish grey, reminiscent of a horror movie zombie, with blood and black ichor staining the corners of his raw, burnt looking lips. Treading her fingers through his cold sweaty tresses, Sarah whispered:" Oh goddess, what happened to him?"
" Titania betrayed him most cruelly, and when he valiantly refused her... she ": Didymus hands trembled ever so slightly as he reached down, and pulled lightly on the already ripped fabric of Jareth's once white poet shirt, exposing his barely moving chest to the moonlit room. Dry blood stained his skin, hiding the deep lacerations, but Sarah didn't have to see to know what it was that Didymus was showing her, she knew the smell of raw wounds by now.
" She cut him?"
" Aye my lady ... but that is not all my Queen, she, Titania ... poured poison down his throat when Lord Hoggle refused to allow her army passage ... She...It...He ..."
Sarah's eye's never left Jareth's pallid face, as Didymus spoke in a softly hushed voice:" ... It was iron... He is dying my queen, and with him, our very world..."
She heard the Llwynog knight's words, yes the underground would die, but that meant nothing to her, all she heard was:" Jareth is Dying...Dying... Dying": The word screaming through her mind.
" Jareth ? please, Jareth wake up my love please... There is so much I need to tell you... you can't n... you can't let me love you and then ... Die..."
Her finger's stroked his silky cheeks gently as she pleaded with him, but it didn't appear to register, as she stared helplessly down at his pain marked face. Sweat covered him in a light sheen, and his eyes jerked from side to side beneath his closed eyelids. Anguish filled her as she carefully traced one of the long lacerations. Twice she had called him and twice had he come, each time in pain and needing her to save him. But this time there would no saving him. This time she would be forced to watch him die, and it all but crushed her heart.
Lacing their fingers together Sarah brought his hand to her lips, pressing a desperate kiss against his cold skin:" Please Jareth ... look at me ... please..."
"... Forgive me ... I Failed ... I ..."
Jareth's voice was barely audible, as he whispered through pale white lips, flinching weakly as Sarah grasped his hand tighter pressing it against her furiously pounding heart.
" No love you didn't fail us, we failed you, we... I should have known, I should have. ..": gazing lovingly into his gold and aqua eyes, Sarah cupped his chin, as the world around them seemed to vanish. Nothing mattered but the fact that he was here, with her, even if it was to die, she would commit every tiny detail to her memory, as she pulled him gently up to rest in her lap.
" My queen we came as fast as... My queen?"
" Ssch leave them alone .. Shiver right?, Come on, sit down you look tired ": Turning towards the softly spoken voice, Shiver blinked as he stared down at a beautiful goblin girl. Only she wasn't, her skin and eyes fairly screamed human up at him, but her features were those of a beautiful goblin.
Her expressive eyes twinkled she flashed him a sad and tired smile, and squeezed his left upper arm lightly in sympathy.
Then that light touch shifted, and became a softly commanding grip on his elbow, that steered him to sit on her still sleep warm bed. As she turned her pale eyes on Sir Didymus who seemed to be intent on curling into himself as he stood staring out of the window, with his back to the room. Lilly wanted to say something, to offer her sympathy, yet the desolate expression on the huge fox's face silenced her, nothing she could ever say, would be able to make any of this even the least bit more bearable.
Gently running her thumb along a shallow cut on Jareth's cheek, Sarah fought a losing battle with the tears burning behind her eyes as she meet his. The look in his eyes was an equal mix of pain and relief as his pale gaze took her in, cutting of her jumbled words with it's strength:" I love... you... my precious. ... I..never...wanted. ..."
It obviously hurt him, to make his burned throat produce the words he so desperately wanted, and yet he pushed through that anguish as he stuttered:" Titania.. she.. I tried to. ..stop. .Her. ... I...": sucking in shallow breaths between each word.
"Ssch my love save your strength, just lay here and let me hold you, it doesn't matter anymore, all that matters are that you are here now, you are here...and... I will ... never ..."
Tears flowed down Sarah's cheeks in heavy rivulets, as she stuttered to a miserable halt, unable to utter the words that were so obviously a lie. Because, no she could not keep him here, that much was obvious.
"It is... all right, my...precious... I am ready. ...I must...atone for...my...my...flaws"
Tear fell on his cold skin like warm summer rain, as Sarah lost the battle against them. And his hand trembled as it reached her wet cheek, gently wiping at the tears streaming freely, even though he knew that he couldn't hope to stem their flow. Not now at least.
" Do not weep Precious... it is no so bad... yes I will leave you, but... our kingdom will gain... a queen the likes of whom has never been seen before... you will keep our people safe...and in time...you will find ...love...again. You will be happy again...for us."
Shaking her head, as she pressed her hand over his, relishing in the feeling of his skin against her own, Sarah sighed:" No there will be no other love for me, you are my all...Please, Jareth don't leave me, I can't do this... not alone..."
" I ...know my love.. but there is... no choice...You are...Strong..."
"No you are the strong one Jareth..."
Her softly spoken words filled him with their warmth, as he fervently wished that they had been true, but they weren't and now...
Gasping around the mounting pressure, Jareth struggled to keep his eyes open. Time was running out, his life was measured in faint breaths now, and if he was to give Sarah his final gift he would have to do it now. Gazing into her sorrow filled eyes, he released his grip on his soul, letting it dive into the barren abyss where his magic had rested.
There at the very bottom of his core, lay the pitiful remains of what had once been a vast ocean of shimmering magic. There was so little left, barely enough for this last thing that he had to do. Grasping hold, Jareth held those faint dying embers close, as he coaxed them back to life. Power flowed through his body pushing the iron back, and for the briefest of moments he felt complete and strong again.
Smiling softly, at the look of confusion in Sarah's eyes. Jareth ripped his core open, letting the raw and wild magic coursing through the aboveground fill him with its scorching strength. It was too much, and yet not enough. Pain lanced through him anew as the iron flowing through his veins fought the magic that was burning him up, but he could not stop now, this was his last chance, and he had to succeed.
Keeping his rapidly crumpling core open, Jareth pulled in enough power that if felt like he was bursting and drowning all at once. The sheer glorious agony of it, all that he could feel as he forced the wild untamed magic to bow to his will, and absorb all that he poured into it.
A crystal bright and flawless, fell from his fingers, to float graceful as a bubble in front of Sarah. A final offering of love.
" What is that?": She whispered, her fingers trailing over its perfect surface.
They both knew this dance, but that did not make it any less painful, as he murmured softly: A crystal.. But if you.. you turn it this way... And look...into...it...
" It will show me my dreams?": Sarah finished quietly as Jareth's voice failed him. Her fingers trailing softly over his face:" But it is not a gift for an ordinary girl, now is it..."
" No it is... a gift for...a queen...my...queen..."
A weak shudder passed through him, drawing a silent moan from his lips, as the last wisps of his power dripped from the open wound, that was all that remained of his tired soul... Time had run out, this last gift had been given, and now ... now he would die. But at least he would be in her arms.
" Jareth no...Please don't leave me...don't make me face the world all alone. ...": Her arms tightened around him, grounding him, with her strength, as the world lost its clarity and turned to dark shadows. All faded, all but her eyes, they still shone like brilliant emeralds as her crystal tears bathed his fading skin with their heat.
There was so much he wanted to tell her, so many thoughts and feelings he wanted to share, but his numb lips and burning throat refused to form the necessary words, and all that came forth was a soft:" ... Love...I.. Love.."
The darkness flowed in around his mind like a whispered wind across his spirit, or the fingers of a mother, soothing his agony away.
And as a last smile creased his lips, he gazed lovingly into the eyes of the only woman he had ever loved.
And wishing that this one moment could last forever ...His world turned black...
And that was it.
The death of her world as Jareth's mismatched eyes lost their bright glow, and closed, with the barest of exhales.
The king is dead... Long live the goblin king...
A/N
Oh yes she did...