Chapter: Unforgiven

Winter held the newborn world in its iron grip, as fierce icy winds tore at the lonely lodge. Huddling in his thick blankets Shiver stifled a weak cough and leveled a pleading look at his self-styled nurse and it would seem jailer.

The room though spacious and comfortable was beginning to seem like a prison cell to the freedom loving knight. And having just won the argument regarding a shower, he had been convinced, that he could cajole Lilly into letting him leave the confines of his room and actually go to the kitchen to eat his dinner.

He was however sadly, very wrong.

And now as he sat on the edge of his bed, while Lilly was reapplying a bandage to the still gaping thigh wound he was reduced to begging.

" But my lady, it is only healthy for a wounded man to move, while he heals. And I am only asking to go to the kitchen, I am not asking to go spelunking or any such nonsense.

Patting the dressing smooth, Lilly gnawed her lower lip in an expression that Shiver now knew that she was deep in though.

" I know, but you are still running hot every time you exert yourself, and I really don't need you to hurt yourself again. Look how about this, I call Didymus in here and you can chat or play chess or whatever you guys do when you are bonding, while I cook us all dinner, which we then all eat in here? And then if the fever is still gone then I'll let you eat in the kitchen tomorrow?"

The tone of her voice made it abundantly clear that this was not really a suggestion, but rather a statement of what she was prepared to allow her patient to do, and Shiver was not foolish enough to tempt fate, by challenging her head on like an inexperienced idiot. No he would wait and find another way to achieve his objective.

Nodding he smiled happily:" I shall bow to you judgement, I know that you have only my best interest at heart."

Okay maybe that had been taking it just a little too far, but it was too late now. Putting on a look of utter innocence as a fresh wave of cold shivers wrecked him, Shiver hoped that Lilly would believe him.

A hope that was rewarded, as Lilly gave him a not entirely convinced look, and helped him lay back on the bed. But she didn't say anything as she tugged the heavy blankets into place, and put the various jars and bottles away, with an air of resignation. She obviously knew that he was up to something, yet she could not put her finger on it, and so she was resigned to wait until Shiver played his hand.

Finally finished, she grabbed the bowl containing the used bandages and bloody water, before turning to level a stern yet warm look at him.

" I'm sending Didymus in, you want him to bring the chessboard? "

Shaking his head, Shiver kept the deceptively innocent smile in place:" No need my lady, but thank you."

"Hmm okay, I'm roasting a leg with some veggies, you think your stomach can cope with that? "

The thought of real meat after endless days of broth and mushy stew, albeit a very tasty stew and broth, made his mouth water and his eyes light up with hunger:" I am certain that I will try."

Smiling at his enthusiasm, Lilly nodded and headed to the kitchen.

Laying back, Shiver crossed his arms behind his head, as he stared out at the deepening dusk with longing. It had been decades since he had spent this long inside, and even longer since he had been confined to bedrest like this. And it was slowly but surely driving him insane.

Labyrinthian goblins were notoriously active, seldom still for more than a few minutes, unless sleeping, injured or sick. Rubbing at the hot flesh of his thigh, Shiver sighed as a dull pain flared, reminding him once more of his senseless folly, and damn pride.

The soft sigh of fur against fine linen, ripped Shiver out of his self deprecating thoughts as it announced the arrival of a broadly smiling Sir Didymus.

"How fare thee? Thou doth look far more vibrant this late noon."

Smiling at the large fox knight's incessant insistence of using the most laborious way to formulating even the simplest of sentences, Shiver replied:" My thanks Sir Didymus, I do indeed feel much revived. My long rest have been good, but..."

A lazy conspiratorial grin spreading on Shivers still pale face.

. . .

Singing softly to herself, Lilly danced and wiggled around the kitchen isles, as she sliced and diced both vegetables she knew and some she had never seen before, pilling them into the large stoneware dish that held the still uncooked leg joint. Stopping for a few seconds, she regarded the nearly full plate before adding a handful freshly chopped herbs and a sprinkle of coarse salt. Smiling proudly she placed the heavy lid over the dish and carried it to the large wood burning oven. It took some effort, but soon the heavy plate slid into the scalding heat, allowing her to close the massive tile door. wiping her hands on a kitchen towel Lilly's smile grew into a satisfied smirk as the succulent aroma of the roasting meat began to spread. Yeah this would undoubtedly be the most delicious meal she had served since coming here, not a mean feat, and Lilly couldn't help but feel proud.

Throwing the towel over her left shoulder, Lilly sighed, now that the meat and vegetables were sorted, she just needed to bake the bread that Shiver couldn't stop complimenting, and then she was done.

Picking up an upbeat tune Lilly twirled as she grabbed the small bowl of sourdough culture, that she was planning on using and froze.

Staring in shock, her mouth opened and closed like a newly caught cod, Lilly watched as Didymus assisted the heavily limping Shiver into the great room, and stopped just inside the door, with a mildly apologetic expression on his red furred face. Shiver on the other hand was grinning wickedly, putting his sharp ivory teeth on display.

Swallowing down her initial urge to rip into the infuriating male, Lilly gripped the small nearly forgotten bowl in white knuckled hands as she ground out:" Okay... I take it that you got bored... "

Letting the silence stretch, Lilly pressed her lips together, until her already narrow lips became nothing but a thin bloodless line of white, as she let her eyes burn into Shiver, with enough fire to actually make his self satisfied grin fade and wilt around the edges.

Shifting his grip on the goblin knight Didymus put himself subtle between

the irate woman, and the wounded knight:" Pray mine lady, heap thy ire upon me. Verily I swear upon my honour that the idea for this ill-fated venture rests solely on mine shoulders. Mistakenly I believed that our stricken brother might benefit from a change in venue. "

Keeping her fiery gaze leveled at the now slightly nervous looking pair, Lilly sighed as she took in the increasingly ridiculousness of the situation. Here she was in a kitchen, wearing a frilly apron, staring down two fully trained knights come alive from a child's fairy-tale, each of them perfectly able to pull her arms out of their sockets and beat her to death with the wet ends. And yet here they were, cowering like misbehaving boy's in front of her. Laughter bubbled up inside her, like bubbles in a soda, biting her lower lip, Lilly fought a losing battle against the smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth.

Uncertainty flickered abruptly over Shivers pale features, and then it was gone as the first peals of laughter spilled from Lilly and pulled a deep answering chuckle from him. Setting the bowl firmly on the table, Lilly laughed as she moved to stand in front, of Shiver:" You are an enormous ass, you know that? "

Nodding as he wiped the shimmering tears from the corner of his eyes, Shiver sighed as he lifted his arm, allowing Lilly to slip an arm around his waist and assist Didymus in getting him to the large couch.

"I know Lilly, I know, but I am a knight and we are not renowned for being easy, nor know when to admit defeat."

" Truly mine brother Thou speakest the truth. "

"So what, you guys don't get sick, is that it? You just turn cold and die? "

Taking a second to consider her words, Didymus nodded as he agreed:" That is the truth of it."

Giving both knights an exasperated look, Lilly huffed: " Jesus, how did you ever manage to live this long?"

There was no hesitation as both men exclaimed sincerely:" Luck!"

Before succumbing to a rancorous laughter.

. . .

The sound of laughter, and life filtered into her tomb like silence through the open door. Sitting in her chair, Sarah sighed as she glanced as the still figure beside her. Jareth looked for the world like a corpse, ready for the grave. He was pale and sunken in a way, that Sarah had never seen before, it was as if his flesh was being melted away by an invisible flame, leaving behind nothing but a stick figure of skin and bone. Lifting his thin hand, Sarah sighed as she laced her fingers with his.

" Please Jareth wake up, I need you. "

Tears fell from her eyes, as she pressed her lips against his frigid skin. He was so cold, no matter how many furs she wrapped him in, or how high she banked the fire, he just didn't seem to get any warmer.

Rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand, Sarah bit the inside of her lower lip, it was so long since they had come here. They had fought so hard, and yet here he lay, as still as ever. And she was running out of hope, maybe it had been his time. Maybe she couldn't defy death, maybe. ..

"Mhh...": The sound was soft, almost too low to be heard but in the deep silence, it sounded like a clap of thunder.

" Jareth? Jareth can you hear me? "

The soft moan was repeated, and this time it was accompanied by a weak fluttering of his impossible long dark lashes. Gripping his fingers with desperate strength, Sarah leaned closer, softly calling him, begging him to finally open his eyes. And running the fingers of her free hand through his cool silky locks, Sarah watched as his eyes slowly opened, to stare up at her without recognition

Bring her hand down to cup his icy cheek, Sarah asked softly:" Jareth can you hear me? Please Jareth, if you can hear me then blink or squeeze my hand, anything."

The sound of her voice caused his brow to furrow as he obviously struggled to remember, and then the look of confused non recognition melted away to be replaced, with one of pain and something darker that Sarah couldn't decipher, as his lips moved without sound. Quickly grabbing a glass of water, Sarah slipped her arm in under his reed thin neck, raising him, so that he could drink without drowning.

The effort of draining the glass in four deep gulps, left him flushed and panting, as Sarah put the glass back on the bed stand before turning back to him and feeling her blood freeze in her veins. Jareth's eyes burned up at her through the exhaustion, deep pools of rage and ... hatred.

" Jareth? "

"Why?": His voice was rough with disuse, giving him a serpentine hiss as he snarled at her, jerking feebly against her grip.

"Why what?"

"My... arm... why..."

Sarah's heart stopped, turning into brittle ice as the venomous fire in those barely open eyes raked through her. Wetting her lips she felt tears burning like molten iron behind her frozen eyes. So this was how it was to be, her worst fears come alive as Jareth pulled minutely away from her. Fighting back her intense desire to cry and beg, anything to make the hatred in his eyes go away, Sarah tightened her grip against his weak struggling, and tried to explain. :" Please Jareth we didn't have a choice. The iron was killing you, it..."

" No": He hissed vehemently:" It HAD... killed me...I... I was dead... I was at peace... You had no right... "

" But Jareth."

Turning from her with a look of disgust on his pallid sweat beaded face, Jareth growled softly:" Enough... Now leave me be... I cannot... bear the sight...of you..."

"But please, Jareth..."

Pulling his hand from hers, he cast a cold look her way as he growled:" Leave... Now..."

Utter mind-numbing cold invaded her heart, freezing it in place as she found herself backing slowly and silently away from the burning hatred directed at her. Words scorched her tongue, words of comfort and anger, words to explain and beg, words to make him forgive. But every word remained unspoken, as Sarah closed the door behind her, to stand alone in the dim corridor.

Running her hand over her burning yet still dry eyes, Sarah fought to keep the sobs from escaping her as the sound of laughter and joy filtered out from the large common room/ kitchen/dining room/living room. Shiver was obviously recovering quickly, and though Sarah had stubbornly remained at Jareth's side she was not blind to the obvious connection between her dear friend, and the handsome knight. And they deserved just a few more minutes of laughter and joy.

Or at least that was what she told herself, as she slid down the door, to sit against it. Tears burst through her tightly closed eyes like water through a dam, and with them came silent sobs that shook her entire body as she wrapped her arms around her knees, hiding her face as she wept.

This was her worst fear and nightmare come true. Sure it might have just been a fever and pain fuelled outburst, that would be forgotten in the morning, and the important thing was that he had finally woken up. Yet Sarah knew deep in her heart that, that wasn't the case. No Jareth was lost to her, she had seen it in his eyes, and heard it in his voice and words. The love he had carried for nearly three thousand years killed by the iron, and her selfish choice.

Pressing her forehead against her knees so hard that it would most likely bruise, Sarah forced herself to breathe and let herself recognise the importance of the memories he had given her with his last strength.

The Labyrinth could survive the death of its king, but only if its queen's blood coursed through the tiny brook in the glen that was its heart. Raising her trembling hand, Sarah rubbed gently at her still sore but pristine looking shoulder.

Yes her blood flowed in that tiny stream, and the golden magic of the Labyrinth coiled in her core, now entwined and made even stronger with the addition of the emerald of her own realm.

She no longer NEEDED him, she could do this alone, she could rule the underground as his queen even after he had passed.

And yet she had still selfishly forced him back, forced him to undergo horrendous agony. And as if that had not been enough they had cut his arm off, forcing him to become a cripple. Yes Jareth was right to hate her, what she had done, was unforgivable.

And though she had been somewhat prepared for this, the pain still threatened to rip her haemorrhaging heart in two. Biting down her on her own hand Sarah strangled the anguished cry before it could escape her. No, No she would not let this destroy her, she knew, from the start that this might be the price, and she had willingly pushed on, thinking that, that would never come to pass. Yet now it was time to pay the piper.

. . . . .

Setting the empty tea mug on the table, Didymus smiled, as he yawned and stretched in his seat, letting his immense body uncoil like a giant spring of muscles and fur. It was truly an impressive sight, as the large fox knight rolled to his feet, and flowed into a graceful bow while still keeping eye contact with the now furiously blushing Lilly.

Taking her delicate hand in his large paw hand, Didymus raised it gently to his lip, kissing it gallantly as he stated sincerely:" Verily mine lady, this meal doth make the angels weep with envy. Never have I feasted on such succulent fare. Lady Lilly thou art a paragon of cookery"

Cheeks burning from the exuberant praise, Lilly tugged gently at her hand, pulling Didymus with her, forcing him to rise.

" Right it's just a pot roast, it's not really that difficult... It's basically just lopping some veggies into a dish with some meat, and sticking it in the oven."

"Simple it may sound Lilly, but you have managed to find just the right herbs and vegetables to compliment the meat, and bring out its most tender flavours. No Lilly, Didymus is right you are truly a very talented chef": And there we go again. Frustration almost overwhelmed Lilly as Shivers deep nasal voice made her blush even deeper as he chimed in agreeing with Didymus. Dammit why was he having this much of an effect on her, it was just dinner goddammit, and here she was blushing as if he had just told her that he wanted her body... Oh hell!

Slapping her own cheeks as that particular thought brought more blood rushing to her already maroon cheeks, Lilly leapt to her feet, and quickly scooped up a plate of food to bring to Sarah.

"Thanks guys, and if you don't mind I'll just, you know go give Sarah some grub, so are the two of you fine sweet talking each other for a while or should I be worried? ": The blush remained despite the bravado of her teasing words, but both men were gracious enough not to tease her as they both nodded their assent, allowing her to make a hasty escape.

. . .

Oh for the love of god girl get a grip, he complimented your cooking dammit, it's not like he confessed everlasting love. All Shiver had done was agree with Didymus, on a meal that was in all honesty the best she had served yet and here she was fangirling over him like he was Luke fucking Perry. Christ! it was because she was exhausted, that was it. Tired and worried, that was all, and...

Stopping dead in her tracks, Lilly stared at the huddled sobbing mess sitting against the now closed door. Sarah's face was so puffy and streaked with salt from the tears flowing from her eyes in heavy streams, that even the gloom of the poorly lit corridor couldn't hide it.

" Jesus Sarah, what's wrong, oh god he's not dead is he? "

Snivelling Sarah shook her head slightly:" No... no it's. . no he's fine, good actually... he woke up... He..."

Anguish washed over Sarah, contorting her face into an utterly desolate mask of sorrow, as fresh sobs shook her.

"Oh god Sarah! What happened? "

The forgotten plate slipped from Lilly's hand to shatter in a pile of steaming food and porcelain, yet Lilly could not care less as she knelt in front of Sarah, wrapping her arms around the pitifully weeping girl:" Sssch don't cry whatever it is we'll fix it, I promise... we'll..."

" My lady what has happened? Say not that our king have succumb to disaster."

" No": Sarah mumbled miserable:" No Jareth is fine...It's ... It's. ..."

Fresh sobbing shook her as the goblin queen clung to Lilly and stuttered:" H...H...He...H...H...H...Ha... Hates me...He ...T..Told... Me t..t..to...Go..."

"Oh honey..": Gently running her fingers through Sarah's wildly dishevelled hair, Lilly rocked her back and forth as she shared a look of concern with the one eyed fox.

Kneeling beside his heart broken queen, Didymus also stroked her hair gently as he attempted to calm her: "Art thou certain that it was no fever speech, the heat may cause much confusion.."

" No.. the fever broke this morning... no he hates me... and I can't,... can't blame... him."

Tightening her grip on the suddenly small woman, Lilly cooed softly:" Sssch it's gonna be okay, I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems right now. Look": Taking the still weeping girl by her shoulders, Lilly held her out in straight arms and met her red rimmed eyes: " Why don't you go get some dinner with Didymus and Shiver, I'll go and look in on Jareth, and try to straighten this mess out okay? And this is just a thought, but you look exhausted as shit so why don't you take my room tonight and then I'll stay here with the drama king in here, while you sleep, and get your head screwed back on?"

Biting her lip as she considered the options set out by Lilly, Sarah sighed, and nodded curtly: "Okay."

Smiling encouragingly, Lilly pulled Sarah to her feet, and gestured for Didymus to escort her from the corridor: " You go eat and I'll go and ... you know... okay."

Watching as Didymus gently lead the still sniffling and utterly defeated looking Sarah into the more brightly lit common room, Lilly sighed and turned to the mess on the floor, only to find it gone, and the pristine floor gleaming up at her.

Magic, it still took her by surprise every time someone did something and didn't even seem to notice. But that was not what should be concerning her right now.

Turning to the closed door, she sighed deeply. God knew that she didn't want to open that door. But she had given Sarah her word, and so there was no real choice.

Taking a deep steadying breath, Lilly grasped the handle and pushed the door open.

She didn't quite know what to expect, but somehow it was a surprise to find the room exactly at is had been all along.

The room was lit by about a dozen large candles, that cast their soft golden light on the heavy and simple but beautifully crafted furniture and the still skeletal figure lying in the large fur swathed bed with his back to her.

Taking the first tentative step into the room, Lilly froze as his hoarse and cold words reached her.

" Did I not... tell... you... to leave... get out... leave me be. "

It was not the words but the icy furious fire she heard in them, that made her swallow convulsively. His tone cut like blades of ice, and Lilly shivered despite the heat of the roaring fireplace.

" Hey ": Stopping nervously, Lilly licked her suddenly dry lips as she watched, the pale creature turn towards her with a look of guarded surprise on his pallid face. What the hell did she call him? His majesty ? My king? Was he even a king here?

Lost in thought Lilly, barely heard Jareth's softly spoken:" Who are... you ? "

" Lilly, my name is Lilly... arhm.. Your majesty?."

Letting his stunning bicoloured eyes close with a look of utter defeated exhaustion, Jareth groaned:" No I am... no...longer a...king...Jareth... you may... call me... Jareth... Why...?"

Plucking up her frayed courage, Lilly moved up to the bed, and sat down on the edge, taking in the very underwhelming sight of the man who was the Goblin king.

Jareth was pale, his skin waxy white and beaded with sweat, and he had lost a frightening amount of weight in the last week, he had been thin before, but now he was nothing but a skeleton covered in bruised skin.

Reaching out Lilly gently tugged the edge of the fur blanket higher up on his chest, noting the slight but still noticeable way he flinched at her touch.

" Why I'm here? "

Keeping his eyes closed Jareth nodded.

"Well I'm here cause you are still sick, and need someone to help you, or was there another reason why?"

Turning those haunting eyes on her again Jareth seemed to look straight into her soul, as if searching for something important.

The silence stretched on for a few minutes before, Jareth blinked as his expression changed into a frown of confusion.

" You are... human?"

Nodding Lilly smiled and gave a shallow and still seated bow or at least that was what she meant it to be:" Yep, as mortal as they come."

His confused frown deepened as he seemed to be concentrating on something that only he could see.

Sitting quietly Lilly simply watched him, as he once more met her calm gaze.

" Where? "

" Arhm yeah that's a little harder to explain, but the short version is that we are in a lodge in a world that Sarah sang into existence. .. Yeah I know how this sounds, but hey you are a fey with eight parents, you know... And now that we are on the subject, what happened? Why would you tell her to leave, she..."

Fire flare in the depths of his eyes banishing the fatigue and he sounded like a rabid beast as he growled furiously:" Why?!... this... she had no right..."

Thrusting his left arm out at her, daring her to look at what remained of his arm. Bruises covered it from the middle of the upper arm and vanished into the bandage that covered the three inch stump that was all that remained below his swollen elbow. The end of the bandage was rounded, mirroring the shape of the flesh beneath, blood and lymph fluid stained the fabric making it obvious that it needed to be changed soon.

" Yeah that really sucks but it's not like we had a hell of a lot of choices... "

- There is ...always a ...choice.": Came the harsh reply. And that was the end of Lilly's first contact with the goblin king. The words had barely left his pale blue tinted lips before his eyes fell shut, as he was claimed by exhaustion once more.

Gently covering him with the warm furs, Lilly sighed softly as she watched his furious frown relax into a look of miserable sadness and pain. Even now, his expression showed the pain he was feeling, and it was not as if she couldn't understand his anger. She too would have felt betrayed and hurt if she had died, and been at peace, only to be forced back to face anguish and mutilation by the hands of those who professed to love you. Yeah Sarah had taken the choice out of love, but that did not change the fact that it was Jareth who had to live with the consequence, so yeah Lilly got why he was angry.

But understanding did not require acceptance, and though Lilly could empathize, she could not accept the hurtful actions of the man before her.

And things would have to change, because the look of pain in Sarah's eyes was more than Lilly could live with. Rising she moved to the dresser, to retrieve the basket of bandages and ointments. First she would change the dressings, and then she would figure out how to fix all this crap. Because Sarah might be a queen now, but she was first and foremost a friend, and friends did not let friends suffer.