Chapter 15
Jeffries Residency, Manhattan, New York
Wednesday, December 2nd 2015
9.16 am
After spending the morning preparing to go and stand in front of the Morris Commission for the first time this week Olivia decided to call in and see Don before heading over to one police plaza.
She used her own key to enter the house hoping to find her father sober and find him trying to beat the alcoholism once again.
"Dad?" She yelled from the entrance hall. "Dad it's Liv!" She called again but when no reply came she wondered if he was still in bed or was even here.
She walked into the living room and smiled, he'd fallen asleep watching TV and she couldn't help thinking that he looked adorable that was until she saw two empty bottles of Vodka on the table in front of him, with a sigh she went over to shake him awake and help him find some asprin for his hangover.
"Dad time to wake up." She sighed as she shook his hand.
She withdrew it quickly though, his skin was cold to the touch and her heart began to hammer loudly in her chest.
"Dad this isn't funny wake up." She said shaking him a little rougher by his dressing gown.
He didn't move. She slowly pressed her fingers into the crook of his neck hoping that he was just deep in sleep because of the alcohol.
Her heart plummeted. There was no rhythm coming from beneath her fingers and even though she prayed that she just wasn't pressing in the right place she knew that the reason she didn't feel it was because it wasn't there.
She pulled out her cell phone and found the number she needed.
Warner.
"Hey Mel it's Liv I need you at my Mom's old place." She told her friend.
Liv what's happened are you ok? Her voice was hurried in a panic.
"I'm fine ... uh ... it's my Dad." She said slowly.
Ok Liv don't move I'm on my way.
And with that the phone went dead. Olivia sat down on the small beanbag beside the arm chair and rested her head on her Father's arm before clutching his hand.
"Why did you do it Dad?" She asked. "You knew this could happen." She sighed angrily. "I should have checked the cupboards before I left, I should have known that you'd do this Dad."
She took another deep breath and rubbed her cheek further into Don's arm as she clutched onto his hand, a million things going through her mind at once.
She sat there without moving until she heard a knock on the door and she knew it was Melinda. Slowly she removed her hand from Don and made her way to the door. Behind it she found Melinda and a couple of the men that worked with her and George Huang.
"Liv are you ok?" He asked wrapping her up in a tight embrace.
"Yeah, he's through here Mel." Olivia said pulling away from George and going into the living room where she held her father's hand once more.
"Liv..." Melinda asked softly.
"Yeah?" She asked.
"I'm going to take good care of him, I promise." She told her friend.
"I know." Olivia nodded. "Just five minutes? Please?" Her eyes pleaded and Melinda and her co-workers walked out leaving the psychiatrist with his friend.
"Liv you wanna talk about it?" He asked.
"What's there to talk about?" Olivia asked her eyes not moving from her father's face as she pulled his hand to her cheek.
She made his hand rub her cheek in the way he had done the previous evening, she just needed to feel his touch once more before she let Melinda take him.
"I love you Dad." She whispered as she placed his hand back on the chair. "I love you so much."
She stood up and stroked his face before leaning over and embracing him, then she pressed her lips to his cheek in the way she did every time when she said goodbye for any reason.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered before walking straight out the room and straight out of the door leaving a shocked George Huang and a teary eyed Melinda behind her.
A/N: This bit happens before the next bit so check the time and place!
Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York
Wednesday, December 2nd 2015
12.13 pm
George Huang walked into the bullpen in almost slow motion, he couldn't get his head around what had happened. Don Cragen had been a very influential and important person in his life having him working at SVU for so many years, he was grateful to the older man for giving him such a great job and in the process great friends especially in Olivia.
Automatically he walked towards the office and knocked on the door but when he went to open it he found it locked.
"Olivia's down in one pp she's meeting the Morris Commission this morning." Fin informed him.
"What? I didn't think she'd go after what happened this morning." George replied in shock.
"What do you mean what happened this morning?" Elliot asked coming from his desk over to the psychiatrist the worry evident in his face.
"She found Don Cragen's body this morning." He informed the group.
They all stared in complete shock at the news. Elliot's mouth fell open and his eyes began to dart around quickly.
"Would Olivia have gone to the Morris Commission?" Elliot asked the doctor as he held tightly onto his biceps.
"I don't know Elliot she's your wife." George replied.
"You were the last person to see her, to talk to her what was her demeanour like how was she behaving?" Elliot asked as he began panicking inside.
"She was cold, she wasn't crying, she said goodbye and that she loved him and hurried off. I don't think she's accepted her Mom's death so I don't think this has hit her so yeah my best guess is that she's down in one Police Plaza." Huang replied and as Elliot grabbed his car keys so did Munch and all everyone hurried out of the bullpen, Nick Amaro included.
The Morris Commission, One Police Plaza, Manhattan, New York
Wednesday, December 2nd 2015
11.59 am
Olivia sat back in one of the cold hard wooden seats as each Captain took turns in hearing what the Morris Commission had made of the annual psych evals, from what she could understand every single NYPD unit had been subject to them or would be and they all had been reviewed or would be reviewed by the members of the Morris Commission.
"Captain Cragen Manhattan SVU." The new Commissioners voice boomed across the room.
Olivia choked back a sob that came when she heard 'Captain Cragen' and walked up to the podium waiting to find out what the Morris Commission made of her squad.
"Captain Cragen I think there are some major issues in your squad, yourself and three of your detectives have been asked to receive ongoing therapy?" The commissioner asked.
"That is what the Doctor recommended." Olivia replied her voice calm compared to the nerves in her stomach.
"Detective Tutuola said he had been dating victims?" The Commissioner asked in shock.
"According to the doctor that is what he said." Olivia replied.
"And Detective Munch said he'd personally like to and fantasized about castrating Child Molesters?"
"I believe that is what he said Sir." Olivia replied.
"And you Captain, you said you wanted to kill your daughters kidnapper, you said you wanted to eat your gun sometime six years ago, you haven't taken time to grieve and you admitted to having nightmares about your children being the victims when you work cases involving kids?"
"I did." Olivia replied.
"Are you running a unit or a mental health clinic?" He asked sarcastically.
"With all due respect Sir." Olivia began angrily, her teeth gritted while she spoke. "Firstly the content of those reports should be confidential, second of all I have been seeing someone ongoing because of these issues and ..."
"Olivia!" Elliot yelled running into the room.
"Captain Cragen your whole unit come to defend you?" The Commissioner chuckled while Olivia's heart hammered in her chest.
"Not that I know Sir, I am not quite exactly sure why they are here." Olivia spat as she leant into her microphone. "Now where was I, oh yes, the recommendations that the Doctor made yesterday have all ready been put into place and I will be keeping a closer eye on the unit in the coming weeks." Olivia explained.
"Excuse us sir!" Elliot called up to him.
"Sergeant Stabler here to rescue your wife?" The commissioner asked.
"Not exactly I'm here to find out what on earth she's doing here." Elliot replied.
"Elliot, why are you here?" She asked him angrily turning away from the microphone.
"Ok guys seriously we don't want any marital spats going on we have a few more people to see today." The Commissioner sighed in a bored voice.
"Sir, Commissioner, my wife found her father's body this morning." Elliot said and Olivia stared at him.
"You had no right ..." She said angrily as everyone on the table stood up.
"Captain? Did you find the body of your father and your Captain Donald Cragen this morning?" He asked in shock.
Olivia didn't know where to look, she looked at the Commissioner then at Elliot then at George.
"She did, I think she's in shock." George jumped in. "It was moments before she came here." He explained.
All the people on the table took off their hats, Don Cragen may have retired but he was still a brother in blue and he was going to get the same respect as any NYPD officer.
"Don't." She shook her head. "He's not gone." She whispered.
"Liv come on let's get you out of here." George whispered draping an arm over her shoulders.
Olivia nodded and let her unit lead her away. Elliot gave a curt nod to the Commissioner who nodded back, details regarding the Special Victims Unit could wait for a few days.
Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York
Wednesday, December 2nd 2015
12.49 pm
Olivia had demanded that they take her back to the one six and no one had argued with her. She'd ran straight into her office and locked the door behind her leaving five very concerned men outside, all five in shock, all five needing to grieve, all five terrified and worried about the woman who was their superior.
"What happened George?" Elliot asked as tears stung his eyes.
Everyone sat down at their desks and George pulled up a chair in so he made a sort of semi-circle.
"I don't know, Melinda just took the body and left, she didn't analyse it on scene." He explained.
"I can't believe Cragen's gone." Fin whispered but everyone heard and nodded in agreement.
"It's so unfair, Olivia's lost so many." Munch explained, thankful that his glasses hid his tears.
"Why is she pushing me out George?" Elliot asked as he wiped his tears with his hand.
"I don't think she wants to face it Elliot, she's just lost her Mom and she's now lost her Dad, when she finally accepts that she's going to be a mess." He explained. "She's not going to let this news hit her for a long time though, she's going to be unsure of herself and second guessing herself and she's going to be fine in talking about him and his death in the same way she is with her Mom but she isn't going to accept it, she's not ready to face the pain and so she's blocking it out." Huang explained as his own tears slid down his cheeks.
The sound of heavy boots coming from the corridor had everyone's attention at the entrance to the bullpen. As soon as the owners of those boots were visible everyone stood up. The whole of the Morris Commission was there and Elliot began to panic knowing Olivia had locked herself in the office.
"Sergeant Stabler, we've bought you Donald Cragen's enlarged duty photograph." He explained as two uni's walked in with an easel.
"Of course." Elliot nodded.
"How is Captain Cragen holding up?" He asked the concern for the female captain visible.
"I don't know we left One PP and she went straight into the office and locked the door." Elliot explained, he didn't see a point in lying to the man.
"She's still here?" He asked in surprise.
"Yeah she didn't want to go home." Elliot replied rubbing his neck uncomfortably.
"I'd like to speak with her." The Commissioner told him softly.
"I don't know if she'll speak with you, she's locked herself in there." Elliot explained his thumb signalling the office.
The Commissioner nodded to Elliot and walked over to the door and knocked.
"Go away!" Olivia's voice, sounding angry, carried out into the bullpen.
"Captain Cragen it's the Police Commissioner."
Olivia gasped from where she was sat behind the desk. She quickly ran to the door and unlocked and opened it.
"I'm sorry I ..."
"No apologise necessary Captain." The Commissioner smiled. "May we come in?"
Olivia then spotted the rest of the Morris Commission and nodded before walking further into her office.
"We came by to give you your father's portrait so it may stand in the squad room until the day of the funeral and to offer you and your family our condolences." The Commissioner explained.
"Thank you Sir." Olivia replied giving him a curt nod in the process.
"We believe he'll have an Officer's Funeral?" He asked her gently.
"Of course." Olivia replied instantly. "That's what he would want." Olivia explained and everyone nodded again.
"And Captain..." The commissioner stopped at the door and turned back to Olivia with a gentle smile. "Take some time off and be with your family, the units psych evals can wait a few weeks." He explained.
"Yes Thank you." Olivia replied again before she watched him leave and she could let out the breath hitched in her throat.
"You ok?" Elliot asked coming into the office.
"I'm fine El." She replied.
"You're not supposed to be fine Liv, your Dad just died." He explained as he wrapped her up in an embrace.
"I'm fine El, I'm heading down to the morgue ok?" She explained pulling out of his arms.
"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked her.
"No this is something I want to do on my own." She replied before grabbing the keys and hurrying off leaving her husband feeling sick with worry.
The Morgue Manhattan, New York
Wednesday, December 2nd 2015
1.36 pm
"Olivia." Melinda was shocked to see her friend here.
"Hey." Olivia smiled weakly.
"How are you?" Melinda asked gently.
"I'm fine." Olivia shrugged. "I just wanted to see him."
"Of course, he's been washed and cleaned up Liv." Melinda told her as they went through to one of the rooms in the morgue.
"Have you done the autopsy?" Olivia asked as she looked at the blanketed figure that she knew was her father.
"I have you want to know now?" Melinda asked nervously.
"No just have the report sent to my office." Olivia replied as she crossed her arms over her body.
"Do you want to be alone?" Melinda asked anxiously and Olivia nodded weakly. "Take as long as you need." Melinda replied before walking out and closing the door.
Olivia slowly walked over to the autopsy table and with a shaking hand pulled back the blue cloth to reveal her father's face.
Meanwhile outside Melinda found George Huang waiting for her.
"Is she in there?" Huang asked.
"Yeah she wants to be alone." Melinda replied. "How she taking this?"
"She isn't, I don't think she's even shed a tear yet." Huang explained.
"I almost had to ask someone else to do the autopsy, I couldn't stop crying but then I remembered that Olivia would have wanted me to do it." Melinda explained.
"I know, I was in the squad room with Munch, Fin and Elliot earlier and we were all in tears even Nick who never worked under Don cried." Huang explained.
"This is horrible, she doesn't deserve this." Melinda sighed as more tears prickled her eyes.
"I know first Michael and then Cole and now Anne and Don, she's really been through it." Huang sighed. "No one deserves this least of all Olivia and I know I'm the shrink supposed to rationalise everyone else's irrational thoughts but she's my best friend Mel, I'm closer to her than I have been to anyone in my life and I am ... I don't know what to say to her to help her."
"Sometimes George you need to just be the best friend, let someone else shrink her." Melinda replied.
"I don't know if she'll open up to anyone else Mel, it's taken me years to get Olivia to trust me in the way she does now, and I'll admit the hours shopping for those perfect Louis Vuitton shoes helped us bond but still." George and Melinda chuckled weakly.
"How she gonna get through this?" Melinda asked.
"I don't know, it's going to take a heck of a lot of support." George sighed. "I'm going to call Hendrix, Olivia knows her and I'll admit though she isn't me she's a good psychiatrist."