Chapter 23: Never Underestimate a Genius
Has Sheldon fallen into another of Heather Powers' traps?Guess again.
Sheldon stood frozen at the front of the crowd, his mind racing. Dear lord, what do I do now?I never believed for an instant that wretched woman would have the gall to attend this lecture.Do I ignore her?Confront her?Leave?What is the right thing to do in this situation?If only I possessed the social aptitude of either Niki or Penny, then I would know how to proceed.Wait, I have known both of those women for several years, maybe it will be easy to channel both these fine ladies and put Ms. Powers on guard.What would Niki or Penny do?I've got it!I think I know now how to handle this situation.
Sheldon stood up straight, surveyed the group in front of him, and began to speak. "Good afternoon. My name is Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper and I am here to lecture you on my paper regarding gravity nullification in Black Holes. I'm sure most of you have read this work and it needs no lengthy introduction, nor do I. What I do need to make clear is that this paper was very much a group effort. Some fellow scientists," here he looked directly at Heather Powers, "have had the mistaken idea that this was 'my' paper. Let me set the record straight here and now. It took the work of myself, Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, and my beloved wife, Dr. Nikita Horner to complete and prove our theory. Of course, my esteemed colleague here," he pointed directly at Leonard who was now standing next to him, "Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, helped greatly with those proofs, for no professional recognition, whatsoever. That is so Leonard. He is very much a true friend and it has been proven on multiple occasions he will do anything within reason to help me if the need arises. This has been proven time and time again. Now, I must add that Drs. Koothrappali and Horner are two of the most brilliant physicists I have ever had the pleasure of working with on any project. They are both highly intelligent, committed, and resourceful colleagues of mine and I owe that Nobel Prize you have no doubt heard about, to all three of these exceptional scientists."
"Now, with that out of the way, I want to point out some of the visiting professors here today. I am honored to have so many prominent men and women in the field of physics attending this lecture. Sitting directly in front of me is Dr. Spiel, a distinguished professor from this very university. I do believe we met when my team bested yours at the International Physics Bowl at Cal Tech a few years ago.* The Assistant Conundrum, Chapter 50. Now don't frown, it was a glorious day. My team wiped the floor with yours from Cal Tech. That was, indeed, fun. I'm just kidding, Dr. Spiel. Your team offered us some stern competition and we had to perform at our absolute best to win that contest. If I remember correctly, you did seem to greatly appreciate the physical attributes of Dr. Koothrappali's wife, Dr. Amanda Sawyer, so that little distraction most definitely helped us." *The Assistant Conundrum: Chapter 50
Sheldon grinned and continued, "That being said, I must apologize for being a bit self-centered when I have given these presentations. Throughout this entire lecture series, I have been remiss not to recognize some of more brilliant minds seated among us. Besides Dr. Spiel, one such person is someone I have spent much time conversing with and have found their mind to be both quick and deep. Dr. Heather Powers, it is so good to see you here. Never in my professional career have I met a scientist with a mind like yours. In fact, so impressed was I by your knowledge of the ins and outs of physics and other areas that I would love you to come up here and present with me. Ladies and gentlemen, you are in for a treat that's hard to beat. Dr. Powers' mind is quite unique and I would love to show you all just how far her knowledge of this subject matter goes. Dr. Powers, would you kindly come up here and join me?"
Heather Powers' face froze in panic at Sheldon's invitation. She now realized that Dr. Sheldon Cooper was every bit as cunning and devious as she was and the thought sickened her. What did he have planned? She was quite cognizant of the fact that Sheldon Cooper knew her knowledge of physics, and science in general, was rudimentary at best. Heather now felt like the prey instead of the hunter and it was a feeling that was deeply unsettling to her.
Heather's face turned white and began to show beads of sweat. She had secured her degrees and position through other methods besides intense study and application, which she now knew Sheldon must have discovered. So. this was going to be his revenge, to reveal her inadequacies to this room full of prominent scientists from around the world. Many of them here had been played by her, too many to count, actually. Heather knew they would relish in the unveiling of her ineptitude. She swallowed hard, and replied to Sheldon's request with, "Dr. Cooper, I have no desire to steal the spotlight from you. Please continue as you were."
Sheldon used the same smirk he had seen his wife use countless times and replied with what appeared to be a sense of regret, "Very well, Dr. Powers, but I may be asking you some questions about this theory from time to time. One doesn't get to be an educator of your stature without possessing strong skills in mathematics and science, among other things." He then threw Heather a naughty wink, much like Penny did when disarming her detractors, which caused the woman no small amount of panic.
Heather's mind began to race; How am I supposed to blackmail him when he's damn near advertising the fact that we've been close?And nothing actually happened!The bastard is trying to enhance his reputation by insinuating we have been lovers.How dare he?That is MY agenda, not his.
Sheldon appeared happily oblivious to her angst and continued with, "We are all familiar with the work of Podkletnov, are we not? His work is the backbone of my group's gravity nullification theory. Dr. Powers, perhaps you could explain this more in depth for any of the students in this room who may be unfamiliar with Podkletnov's work."
Heather looked quickly at her watch and responded with what she hoped was a convincing note of sincerity, "I would love to, Dr. Cooper, but I have just realized that I have friends waiting for me at a local restaurant. I do hope you don't mind."
Sheldon purred his reply to her, "I completely understand, Dr. Powers. If I was in your position, I would hurry to that restaurant, myself." The room was filled by amused chuckles when Dr. Powers, as Sheldon had assumed she would, fled the room hastily. He watched her leave and then turned once again to his audience and continued with, "So sorry for that. The dear woman must have had a most pressing engagement. But enough of that, let us get back to Podkletnov and his theory…"
Two hours later, both physicists were wrapping up their lectures and breathing a sigh of relief that a messy situation hand been handled well and a catastrophe had been, thankfully, avoided.
Leonard Hofstadter turned to his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Buddy, that was handled really well. Where did you pull that attitude from? It worked like a charm."
"Leonard, I have spent the last several years being friends with your wife. I have also been in an intimate relationship with one of your wife's best friends for some time now. The talents for social castigation shared between the two of them were bound to rub off on me sooner or later. I merely combined the amazing social skills of Penny with the sarcastic wit of my wife. After that, everything went quite smoothly."
Leonard busied himself with collecting his notes, then nodded and responded with, "Have you ever noticed how our better halves can use their minds to get themselves out of any uncomfortable situation?"
Sheldon picked up his briefcase, gave a small chortle, and took his friend for a walk down Memory Lane, "Leonard, do you remember that Christmas Eve, three years ago? Both of our little ladies used both their brains and some deft martial arts movements to get themselves out of that messy encounter with those two drunk morons at the club we visited." *The Assistant Conundrum, Chapter 47
"How could I forget? Those self-defense classes they took with Bernie sure paid off that night. Seeing those two idiots laying on the floor begging for mercy was the highlight of the night."
Sheldon's head swiveled around sharply and he gently chided Leonard with, "Oh, really? I seem to recall that was the night Penny informed you she was pregnant with your son."
The smaller man's face broke into a wide grin and he replied to his friend's reminder with, "I haven't forgotten about that, Sheldon. I was merely making a point with that memory." To himself, he thought; I sure wish I hadn't promised Penny not to spill the beans about them all coming here tomorrow.I'm dying to tell Sheldon.He's missed Niki and Lori so much.Oh well, we'll be seeing all of them within twenty-four hours.Out loud he continued, "That was a night I'll never forget. That was also the night Raj proposed to Amanda. Remember that?"
Sheldon shook his head sadly and reminded his friend, "Leonard, have you forgotten that I remember everything? It was a surprise though, after Raj assuring us he wasn't ready to propose yet."
"Well, when he bought that ring at the jeweler's, I think we all knew what was coming."
The taller man gave a small chuckle and added with an amused, "Yes, we did. He also beat me to the altar."
Leonard thought back and gave a wry grin, "Yeah, that wedding of his was something else."
"With Priya showing up? It was a true circus." Sheldon then felt compelled to brag a little bit about his wife, "Come to think of it, that was another instance when Niki's sharp mind and quick thinking saved the day."
"You got that right. You married a pretty amazing lady, Buddy."
Sheldon did not dispute this statement and added, "We both did, Leonard. This next week will go by so slowly until we can fly home and see them again, and our children, too!"
Leonard bit his lip and fought the strong urge to let his best friend know about their wives coming the very next day. When he finally spoke, he simply said, "Yeah, I can't wait to see them, myself. Trust me, the time will fly."
With that, the two men gathered their belongings and headed back upstairs to their apartment.
Will the girls get to Germany safely?Will Sheldon be surprised?Will Heather try another plan for revenge?What do you think?