AN: incest memory marked with ### at start and end.
. .,. .
CHAPTER 41: For No Other
The blizzard roared with undiluted strength as Lilly pulled the heavy door shut, and pushed the latch home. It had been a full seven hours since they had all heard the haunting cry of an owl, and the door into the Jareth and Sarah's room had been barred by a web of bright undulating strands of pure solid magic. Pulling her ice and sleet covered coat off Lilly handed the heavy garment to the waiting Didymus, before turning to meet the fluorescent gaze of Shiver, as he pulled his own frozen coat off of his wide shoulders with an angry jerk. Tossing the garment over a chair he ground his sharp teeth and growled furiously: "And what in the name of the all-powerful FUCK! Were you doing outside? There is a blizzard raging outside and I realize that you can't feel magic like we can, but you must see that this is no natural storm! There is no way of knowing what might be lurking in it... Damn it Lilly I can't protect you if I don't... I Can't... not again ... I."
He wore his helpless fury like a cloak and Lilly felt truly frightened as he strode purposefully towards her with his large hands in tight white knuckled fists. Backing slightly, Lilly hid her fear behind a head held high as she forced herself to meet his fury.
"Oh Jesus Shiver... I just...": Her words ended in a breathless gasp of surprise as he gripped her arms roughly and pulled her into a tight almost crushing embrace with a small strangled sound that reminded her of a sob: "I cannot lose you too Lilly, not now..."
The strange words ignited a million and one question in Lilly as he held her close in a fiercely protective gesture. She wanted to know what he meant, and what she meant to him. Because until now she had not dared to harbour even the tiniest of hopes for anything but a friendship with the strangely attractive goblin knight, and now his words had her heart nearly bursting with hope. But even though it was the hardest thing that she had ever done, then Lilly held her tongue, knowing fully well that this might be her only chance to ever ask him these questions. Instead Lilly let herself melt into his comforting heat, and wrap her arms around his waist, holding him back as tightly as she let him hold her. Because only now did she realize that he was not angry, he was terrified enough that he was actually trembling. Tightening her hold in response, Lilly tilted her head back to meet his ghost filled eyes, seeing the truth of what was frightening him. Because this was not just about her, no this was about his father and king, who was in the sealed room, and his Queen, the only one who had any hope of saving not only his king but their entire world. It was about all those whom he could not protect, and had lost, and it was about feeling utterly helpless. Her lips parted as if to speak, but no words would come, and finally she simply shut her mouth and pressed her cheek against the firm swell of his chest, feeling the frantic pounding of his heart, as she began to gently rub tiny comforting circles on the taut planes of his back. No one spoke as minutes passed with no other sound than the angry howl of the storm surrounded them. And only when she felt his heart rate still a little did she say: "This is going to turn out alright it always does, when Sarah is involved. That girl is like the masters of saving shit. Besides as far I could see they were just laying on the bed."
"Truly? : Laying the dripping coat that he had been clutching in his large claws over the back of a chair Didymus fixed Lilly with his one eye: "Didst they merely lie prone? No movement nor words?"
"Nope nothing. Well except for the swirling magic crap then nothing moved. Look guy's I realize that waiting is pure hell, but we just have to stick it out, and wait for whatever mystic crap it is they are doing to be done."
"Verily my lady, thou speakest the truth. But knowing doth do naught to lighten the heart of it's fear."
Letting the words hang between them, Didymus turned from the huddled pair, and stared into the billowing whiteout that had swallowed the young world, with a look of dread in his dark eye. The storm had started just around seven hours past, blotting out everything, as if a giant had swept it all away. And in truth that might very well be true. For all they knew the world that Sarah had sung up might be dead and this lodge all that remained. It was honestly not what the giant fox believed to have happened, but he had no way of knowing, and like Shiver he had been nearly consumed by fear when Lilly had suddenly slipped past them and out into the furious storm. And had Shiver not beaten him to the punch it would have been he who had raced out after her. Turning back to the pair, he was just in time to see Shiver release her before a sharp cracking sound ripped through the lodge, sending them all into a flurry of frantic movement. There were no words between them as all three raced towards the source of the sound, that terrified them all to the core..
. . . . .
The chime of a striking clock still rung through the darkness, as the world spun and tumbled closer.
And then there was only...
Darkness. .
Heat...
And silence, silence that shattered into a world of fear tinged voices as the darkness became blinding light, that seared into eyes that felt inflamed and ready to burst. Blinking against the blindingly golden light, Jareth coughed as he tried to shift the warm weight lying across his chest smothering him in thick floral and smoke scented hair, tickling his face and strayed into his nose with every breath.
The weight on his chest moaned as it stirred, and the voice made unseen things deep within his chest clench as his arms rose slowly to wrap around the warm slightly trembling weight despite the agonizing pain the movement was causing him.
"Sarah": He groaned in a barely audible voice as the weight shifted ever so slightly, just enough for her to meet his gaze with a soft blood coated smile on her bruised face. And the sight of her sacrifice caused any words he might have wanted to utter, to stick helplessly in his throat. Crimson tears trailed from the gaping hole barely covered by the remains of her swollen discoloured eyelid, to drip from her chin and fall on his chest like summer rain. Reaching up with his remaining hand, Jareth cupped her pale chin smearing his own already bloody hand in the warm blood. But that didn't matter, nothing mattered, not the blood, nor the wounds from where it spilled or the pain that caused them both to tremble, no all that held any meaning, as the darkness stalking them slowly moved in, was that they were both here, and that the spell that had held him captive for millennia lay in tatters around them slowly turning to fine shimmering golden dust. Leaning down, Sarah sighed softly in relief as her forehead came to rest against his neck and her lashes fluttered across his skin like glittering wings before her entire body grew limp once more: "We made it Jareth... Not magic nor death can ever part us... you know that right."
Nodding slowly Jareth whispered: "No other than you Sarah... No other than you could ever do what you do..."
His hand tangled in her unbound locks as he leisurely sent out tendril of power to shatter the web locking the door with a loud cracking sound. The sound of running feet, filling the room, as his body finally relaxed and darkness crashed over him.
. . .
Lilly was funnily enough the first to barrel into the silent room, and that little detail would have made her tease the two huge warrior's who came thundering after her, if it hadn't been for the sight that greeted them.
At first it almost appeared as if only Sarah lay face down on the bed, as a thick layer of golden dust covered everything. Then the still bleeding stump of Jareth's left arm slid off her back, leaving a trail of crimson and black ichor behind on what had just seven hours past been a creamy white shirt, showing beyond doubt that he was still there.
Clamping both hands to her mouth Lilly gaped in horror as her eyes picked out the tiny specks of red that spread along Sarah's limp limbs and stained the grey and white furs they were resting on.
"Oh fuck Shiver they are bleeding... Fuck, look at his arm and oh god... Sarah..."
Retching violently Lilly fled wide eyed to the en suite, as Didymus gently rolled Sarah off of Jareth and onto her back beside him revealing the bloody ruin of her face to the warm light of the room. Sharing a look of worry over the still figures with Shiver, Didymus spoke in a hushed whisper as he brushed his fingers through the thick layer of dust covering all: "She hath truly done what could not be done. Our exalted queen hath saveth our king... this."
Holding up his massive paw hand, Didymus stared with deep wonder at the shimmering dust that trickled lazily through his fingers : "This is all that remains of that most malicious and vile spell.. She hath saveth us all ..."
Nodding solemnly as he gently tried to wipe the sticky coagulating mess off of Sarah's face Shiver shuddered as the true extent of the damage became apparent: "True but at what price? Look at her, she looks more dead than alive, as does he. How are we to know what damage has been done to them, what if...? "
"What if they never wake up? ": Walking into the room with her wet hair slicked back, a bowl of water and a pile of clean towels in her arms, Lilly looked far better than she felt: "well Shiver, since that isn't an issue, let's not worry about it yet Okay! Cause we all know that they'll wake up, with some weird ass story and the peace will be over. So for now, let's just try to help ."
Locking eyes with Shiver, Lilly shared a shaky tight lipped smile as she set down the bowl and towels on the table at the end of nest like bed, and began soaking towels in the warm soapy water: "Right Shiver do your thing and make her clothes... you know vanish, so we can get at whatever it is that is bleeding, Didymus you go get the stuff for Jareth's arm, cause that's really starting to bleed again, and oh fuck what is that? Is that bite marks? "
Lilly's eyebrows looked like they were about to jump clear off her face, as she leaned over Sarah as the latter's leathers dissolved in glittering green dust, laying the damage done by the wolves, brambles and fire bare. Blood oozed sluggishly from the torn skin and deep punctures, and grisly as it was all on it's own, it was the lack of any dirt on her pale skin that made it so horrific. Wringing out a towel with a firm decisive twist, Lilly felt the weight of the warriors fear as they both looked to her tiny magicless person for reassurance that their king and queen would survive their ordeal. Silently swallowing back her own terror, Lilly cloaked herself in a confidence she didn't feel as she assumed a role she didn't want: "Okay today gentlemen, Today."
. . .
There was light and warmth, not the burning heat that was the last thing that he remembered, just soft pleasant warmth. Burrowing deeper into the silky texture of the furs swaddling him, he pulled the warm body next to him in closer, and buried his head in her tamed fragrant hair. Lilacs, lilies and faint familiar musk filled his nose as he breathed her in, conjuring images of a fiery goddess with ebony hair, striding through the all consuming flames to save him, and deny the voice that had been ever present for so long that it's final victory seemed inevitable. Sighing in contentment, he let the images flitter through his still partially sleeping consciousness like some half forgotten dream.
She had come, and she had saved him...
"But at what price" : Whispered his subconscious: "Her blood, her family. ... her eye! See what she has gifted you with and what have you given her? The death of her world and all her friends."
"No..."
Shaking his head as he screwed his eyes shut, Jareth struggled to ignore the unbidden images as they flickered to life behind his eyes. Images showing Sarah's family dead on morgue slabs with neat little tags labelling their empty husks, like forgotten parcels awaiting their owners. Only for these there would be no one to move their cold flesh, no second chance, no miracle.
Swallowing back the sudden sobs Jareth blinked against heartrending agony, as tears forced their way from his eyes, to soak into her hair.
" No"
Murmuring the two letter word again, Jareth fisted his remaining hand in her hair, and pressed his forehead against the crown of her hair. He had not demanded such a price, it was the spell, the malicious magic of Titania. And it had been her magic that animated the tiny ghast that had caused Sarah's father to swerve off the road and off the cliffside, killing Sarah's family. It had been Titania's mind that had directed the tortures as they had driven his mind and body to the breaking point and beyond, and it had been Titania who had driven him skilfully to attack like a well trained hound at her command.
Titania, his mother, his tormentor.
Tears welled like water from an underground spring as the floodgates of his memories were ripped brutally open, and long repressed memories broke free of the chains in which the spell had held them.
Helpless to stop them, Jareth pulled away from the sleeping weight beside him, and curled up in the predawn darkness with his fist nearly jammed into his mouth, to stop the horror filled whimpers from carrying.
She was his mother, the one who had borne and birthed him. She should have loved him and yet instead she had betrayed him in the worst way a parent could. Using her insidious web to force him to satiate her twisted and vile desires, she had ripped his innocence and trust from him. Shuddering he moaned as images of what he had until now thought to have been the first time that she had used him, flooded past him revealing the abhorrent truth. For millennia he had blamed himself for not being able to tell her no, and reject her advances, for millennia had he hated himself for the unnatural reactions that she could elicit with such ease. He had been young, fourteen maybe in human years, when she had cornered him in his private chambers and ...
Acidic bile spewed from his cracked lips and onto the thick skins covering the heavy oaken floors, but its burning was lost on him as he finally lost his iron grip on himself and scream after ragged scream tore from his lips instantly rousing not only Sarah but everyone from their sleep.
The thrum of bare running feet filled the nights silence as enchanted candles flickered to life. But Jareth sensed nothing but the explosive pressure behind his eyes as his mind rewound his memories and tore him back to the night of his coming of age.
###
Two hundred years such an important day, the day that he had become a man, and finally a king. Dressed in fine robes of azure and gold he had been presented to his subjects and oh how they had cheered as Hoggle had genuflected and sworn himself to his new king. The celebrations had lasted until dawn and longer. And as the child/man he had been he had rejoiced in it all slipping from the watchful eye of his bloodthorn guard to join his subjects...
Large hands gripped his trembling body pulling him from the bile covered floor and back into the warm cocoon of fur where Sarah's arms and love awaited. But Jareth felt nothing, locked as he was in the deep recesses of his mind.
He had fallen in the garden outside his private chamber, drunk on wine and the adoration of his new subjects, and the stars above him had danced and filled the garden with fantastical shapes. Breathless he had taken it all in as he lay alone. Only he had not been alone. She must have hidden as a moth in the shelter of the bushes, for he never saw her approach before she had knelt beside him, resplendent in gossamer silks of sunlight gold and sky blue. Tiny silver chimes sang as she reached out and caressed his face in a way that even then had felt so very wrong. He had tried to leave, staggering to his feet, and mumbling hasty apologies he had backed away from the ethereal predator kneeling before him. But he had been too late, parts of the spell had already been in place then and on her silent command he had been trapped unable to stop himself as he had changed direction to stalk towards her while she smirked in knowing victory.
She had taken him there, naked on the dew wet grass, using him, breaking him as she had rammed her magic into him as his stolen climax opened his core like nothing else could. He had been a child, her child, and though never loved by her he had trusted her not to hurt him, and now in one cruel move he had lost his innocence.
Retching painfully he pressed against the warm presence beside him, desperately seeking comfort through touch.
Magic burned through him as her nails opened his skin, gouging wounds whose scars he still bore on his back. Her voice cold and filled with honeyed venom as she spoke: "Nothing hast happened, and yet thou shalt come to me at my bidding, that I may sample you at my leisure. Now dress and return to thine room as the obedient pet thou art."
###
Two hundred, just fourteen in human years, a child, he had been a child, their child and still..
Tremors rocked him as he fought the screams that filled him and insisted on being given free reign. And oh goddess above how he wanted to let go and scream himself raw but if he did he truly feared that he would never stop again.
"Jareth, please breath slowly, you are hyperventilating. Relax, you are safe here, we are safe, and together... that's it, deep breaths... good."
Letting his body follow the firmly spoken instructions, Jareth felt a soft calm settle over him as he turned to face the wondrous creature who were commanding his body with such ease.
Sarah...
Her voice was tinged by sadness, and still it whispered through his soul banishing the haunting images, like wind through cobwebs. And for just a few precious seconds he lay, held secure in her soft arms utterly free of the thoughts that crippled him as he let himself drown in the worried love he saw in her emerald eye.
. . .
The weight of his slumped form made breathing difficult, and yet she felt no need to lay him down beside her. Stroking weak feeling fingers through the wildly tangled mess that was his hair, Sarah sighed sadly and turned to look at the three equally saddened beings in the room.
"The horror he has lived through... I dare not begin to imagine the pain he must bear within..": Shaking his head sadly as he spoke, Didymus rested a massive hand on Shivers hunched in shoulder.
"Oh you would do well not to dwell too long his pain, believe me. Titania has more to pay for than you could ever imagine ": Turning dark haunted eyes on the still form of the man who had raised him, Shiver shuddered: "I know that he was not to blame but still my heart curses him.."
"Why the hell would you curse him? ": Moving around the bed, Lilly spoke over her shoulder, as she quickly pulled the heavy furs up to cover both Sarah and Jareth better: "He has protected you, raised you... Why?.."
"Why? You ask why, when his weakness has cast my world into a hopeless darkness, and forced us here?"
Sudden tears washed down Shivers face as he quickly spun and raced as fast as his pronounced limp would allow, towards the door with what could only be a curse spat out in goblin.
The heavy door slammed shut behind him, leaving a stunned trio to share confused looks.
"And what the hell was that?"
Yawning, as she fought a losing battle against her exhausted body, Sarah sighed: "I have no idea, but I really think that, you should go find out .. Jareth is sleeping again, and Didymus will help me get settled ... Just go find out what's wrong with sir I don't limpalot"
Nodding curtly Lilly gnawed her lower lip while looking more worried than Sarah had ever seen her look: "Yeah okay, I'll do that... but...naah you're right. Didymus, are you good with helping the sleeping not so beauties right? "
Inclining his head slightly, as he graced her with a warm reassuring smile Didymus answered: "Aye I have acted the nurse before as thou well know, and if it be any reassurance then I shall remain here within these chambers to assist should any need arise. Please Lady Lilly go to our proud brother in arms and reveal the reason for his aching heart and sudden anger, it doth cause great pain to see him thus suffering."
"Yeah, Alright, I'll... yeah."
Bumping the huge knight's shoulder with her head as she passed him, Lilly mumbled half jokingly: "If I'm not out by morning, come, you know rescue me 'kay."
Returning her slight show of affection with a gentle ruffling of her already sleep tousled hair, Didymus mumbled a soft sound of acceptance as he ushered her towards the door with a very paternal look on his face. Keeping his back to the bed, he watched the slight wisp of a girl leave the room to follow an emotion she barely understood. Then he turned to face the tired but still curious queen.
"So I've missed quite a lot these past few weeks haven't I, cause you look like you know something about those two. .."
Smiling warmly as he carefully relieved Sarah of the now sleeping Jareth's weight, and then proceeded to assist her in finding a comfortable position. The large fox nodded: "Aye, I doth verily see more than the young doth see themselves. And I doth profess to find it equally endearing and frustrating to bear witness to their pining and their obliviousness to the others attraction."
Letting herself be tucked gently in by Didymus paw hands, Sarah found herself fighting to push back the heavy blanket of exhaustion that was weighing her down and ask just a few of the myriad questions swarming in her mind: "Wait, what they like each other? But it's been three weeks and. .. why haven't they seen it if it's mutual? I mean Christ they have been sleeping in the same room, and ... wow I can't believe I missed this..".
"Nay": Didymus interrupted with a delightful smug expression: "Not just have they shared a room, they have most chastely shared a bed when young Shivers fever doth soared, and his rest became endangered by the terrors of the night... And also I have on more than one occasion witnessed the young lady creeping into Lord Shivers chamber to assure herself of his continued health."
Keeping her eye open was almost too hard for her, but still Sarah managed to stifle a face splitting yawn long enough to sigh: "Wow we gotta do something to ... oh goddess ... help those two blind hens, find their corn... "
"Verily": Soothing her hair back and straightened the furs over them Didymus spoke in a soft yet stern tone: "But first thou hath thine own battle with which to contend. This heart beside you is in dire need of mending.. Now sleep and regain thy strength. The war is not yet won."
" Yeah... Sleep sounds good."
It felt good to surrender to the call of her battered body, and let her heavy eyelid slide shut, keeping out the faint flickering light from the hearth as Didymus quietly extinguished the last of the candles and retreated to one of the plush chairs, beside the fireplace.
. . .
Night shrouded the wide hallway in thick velvety darkness, that filled the air with a solid sense of calm. Treading softly as if not to disturb the silence, Lilly crossed the few steps between Sarah and Jareth's room and the one that Shiver had claimed, as fast as she dared. Pushing the heavy door open she entered the dimly lit room, softly calling his name.
"Hey Shiver? You in here dude?"
"Yes.. Unlike others I do not run into storms with no regard for those whom might care..."
His eyes flared and burned deep red with rings of acid green that lit his face and cast him into the terrifying image of the goblin marauder as his words dripped venom.
Letting the door close behind her, she leaned back against the heavy wood as she swallowed back a full dozen angry retorts, and forced herself to remember the pain that had overwhelmed him just minutes before.
"Look I get it, I shouldn't have gone out into the storm, but that's not why I'm here.. You, you scared us all in there, storming out like that... Look I..." : Reaching as if to embrace him, Lilly hesitated only a few seconds before letting her arms drop to her sides with a strained sound: "I just want to know what's wrong, I want to..."
Pushing out from the door, she moved further into the room, closer to him, where he stood with his rigid back turned against the warm orange glow of the low smouldering hearth.
Stopping in an awkward position caught between his bed and the large hearth, Lilly sighed dejectedly and blurted out: "I just want to help okay, you looked so hurt and I can't stand it. .."
"Help": He snarled, turning his back to her in a movement that was surprisingly fluid, but also aggressive, and slapped the stone mantle with both hands: "How could you help! You are but a child, who knows nothing about the world in which I live.. you know nothing of the pain of being rejected by your parent's..."
He knew the second that those spiteful words left his mouth that he had crossed a line that he should by all rights have steered well clear of, but it was too late now as he spun fully expecting to see her storm out of his room or at least for her to rip into him. But not this, not the understanding and compassion he saw in those magnificent silver and sky eyes as she approached him much like you would a skittish beast. Taking his large calloused hand, she smiled cautiously as she drew him with her to his bed, and gently sat him down on it. Only when he was seated on the edge of the springy mattress, and she had gathered the needed items to deal with his still healing wound, did she speak.
"You are right Shiver about me not knowing the world you live in. But I do know what it feels like to be rejected": Her silken hands burned against skin that felt suddenly frigid as she knelt on the heavy fur rug, and smoothed his loose pyjama pant leg up until she could see the bandage covering his muscled thigh. Dark blotches stained the fabric in ever growing wet areas clearly showing where the weakened flesh had succumb to the strain.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, as her lips became a displease line, Lilly said still softly: "Right I'm gonna need some light here, so if you don't mind?"
Nodding meekly, Shiver clearly didn't trust himself to speak, as he silently produced a bright spring green crystal, which floated up to burst above them, bathing the entire room in a bright warm light.
That the blotches were blood was no real surprise to either of them, but what surprised Shiver was the way the pain skyrocket the second he was able to see the damage. Sucking in heavy laboured breaths, he let himself fall back on the bed, as Lilly began cutting into the sodden fabric with a pair of scissors. Feeling air float over the torn edges had his breath hitching in his throat, but at least he managed to stay relatively quiet as Lilly's slender fingers began to probe the tender area. Picking up a clean cloth she gently began cleaning the quickly coagulating blood away with sure firm strokes: "Look I am fully aware that I am like a toddler compared to you, and shit, but listen my mom up and left one night when I was four years old, and my dad gave up on raising me when I was just six sending me to a orphanage, so yeah I know what it feels like to be rejected... I'm not saying that I know what you went through just that I too have been rejected. ..."
Dropping the thoroughly blood encrusted cloth into the murky soapwort solution she had used to clean it with Lilly rummaged through the different bottles and jars until she had found the ones she needed.
"And I also know that, that is not the reason for your blow out. So how about you tell me, what the everloving fuck got into you when you cursed your dad and stormed out."
Keeping his eyes shut under the arm he was using to shield his aching eyes with Shiver sighed and mumbled : "I would rather not... it...I ... "
Her hands tightened ever so slightly on his knee in warning as she stated in a voice that didn't leave any room for negotiation: "Nope I'm not buying that, something is bugging you big time, and I wanna know, so spill it. "
"I...No ... Oh by the damned veil gods Lilly. It's. . He took me in, raised me and shielded me as best he could against Titania, he taught me honour and strength. In truth he was the father I have never known, and he gave me a mother in Morgaine. For nearly six centuries he has never been anything but strong. And to see him like this and to know that his own mother is the cause. .. I... "
Pushing himself up until he rested on his elbows, Shiver looked at Lilly with eyes that were glossy with pained frustration, and fever. Sweat beaded on his forehead mingling with the tears that flowed from his swollen eyes, as he allowed his hurt to show: "We are trapped here, in a world without time, as we wait for him to what? Become whole, relearn how to live. Lilly he is broken, the goblin king that has ruled is no more. And worse than this he has never truly been. "
Heaving in a deep shuddering breath, he flopped back on to the bed and covered his face with his hands as if ashamed of showing the fear that threatened to cripple him. And Lilly's heart ached for him as she forced herself to stay kneeling in front of him as she finished redressing the wound and he resumed speaking in a low tortured voice.
"What will become of us if the man he is cannot accept the responsibility of ruling. What will we do if this is all for naught? If Hoggle has died and Jareth... Lilly ... I have never ... "
Sitting back up with a pain filled groan, Shiver met her gaze with one of utter despair: "I have never been this afraid. I fear what the morrow will bring with a strength that is nearly suffocating me... I cannot ...Breath."
Sucking in deep shuddering breaths, Shiver all but curled in on himself as he drew his knees up and pressed his forehead hard against their rigid edges. Moving without thinking Lilly grabbed his wiry wrists and forced his arms out, allowing her to push in between his knees and wrap her arms around his hunched torso.
"I'm sorry Shiver, I'm so sorry, but it's all gonna be alright ": There was no real thought behind her words, because she had no real idea about what she was apologizing for, but the words seemed to touch something deep within the weeping knight, easing the tension in his body and allowing him to melt fully against her as his arms closed around her, holding her as much as she held him. They stayed like that for a long while as she continued to murmur gentle words of apology and reassurance into his warm dreads, feeling their silky texture on her lips.
There was nothing to cause it, but suddenly something changed. The tears stopped and the room shrank away as Shiver pulled back minutely to press their foreheads together with a soft half moan, and suddenly all that existed was their shared breath as the tips of their noses rubbed against each other gently. Fear and need radiated from him as Lilly gazed into his wide open eyes, and the sight caused desperation to bloom so fiercely that all Lilly wanted to do, was make that heartbroken look leave his eyes no matter how that happened. No matter what it would take.
There was no surprise when they both moved, and their lips connected, softly at first, almost hesitantly. It was sweet, and wet, and warm and Lilly never wanted it to end as Shiver's hands glided up her back pulling her up with him, as he lay back on the bed. Heat build between them as their hands took on a clumsy life of their own, the hunger for skin and friction too strong to ignore. His skin glowed with heat as she explored the tight lean expanse of his chest. God but he was perfect, every inch of him taut and silky smooth. Arching into his touch Lilly moaned softly as his strong calloused fingers graced the subtle skin in the grove where the leg goes from thigh to ass, the grip was just a little too rough, a little too desperate. And yet she still found herself reciprocating it as she ground harshly against him, feeling the hard throbbing length of him trapped between them, inside the light pyjama pants he wore .
She wanted him badly, she wanted. . hell she didn't know what she wanted, this was the first time anyone had ever touched her like that, and coherent thoughts seemed to be impossible, even when he relinquished her lips in favour of laying clumsy awkward kisses down her jaw and throat
"Oh god Shiver. .."
His name spilled from her lips as his sharp teeth graced the skin at the hollow of her neck.
And then the spell broke.
Moving so fast that Lilly had no chance of stopping him, he rolled, depositing her none too gentle on the bed as he leapt to his feet to stare down at her with a look of wide eyed confusion, uncertainty and... what seemed to be disgust on his face. Pushing up on her elbows, Lilly blinked owlishly while she tried to decipher the strangely pained look the tall goblin was giving her, through the slowly dissipating haze of blissful lust.
"Shiver? What the fuck?...What just"
Taking a stumbling step back Shiver looked as if he was caught between screaming and bursting out in tears as he exclaimed: "Oh sweet Goddess what in the name of the veil are we doing? Oh goddess dammit fuck No."
Her mouth gaped open as the unexpected words registered in her shocked mind, and realization struck. He didn't want this, want her, she had just been there and now as he realized what he had been doing he rightfully wanted none of it. None of her.
Hurt filled her heart as she struggled to form some reply that might somehow impossibly save her own pride, but the instant ache in her chest stole all words away, as she fought to blink back scalding tears.
How could he, they were friends, weren't they? Hadn't they spent hours laughing and joking together? Hadn't she seen him watching her with a soft smile on his lips when he thought that she wasn't looking? Well whatever she might have thought that she had seen, it had clearly been an illusion because how could someone who looked like that ever want someone who looked like her. And now she had ruined it all by doing this...
"Lilly I.. I'm. .. I didn't mean..."
His voice was soft and apologetic as he reached out to her, obviously wanting to get her off of his bed, and the humiliation of it all was more than Lilly could bear. Running a hand over her suddenly burning eyes, she snarled: "No don't."
Slapping his hand away, she vaulted from the bed and pulling frantically on the hem of her nightgown she bolted from the room, leaving him where he stood.
. . .
A faint wave of his hand extinguished the bright fairy light and drowned the room in flickering shadows and soft fire lit highlights. Letting his hand fall Shiver stared at the slight indent in his bed, where Lilly had just lain, and rubbing his hands over his eyes, he cursed long and thoroughly as he replayed the whole encounter in his mind. God how could he be so stupid, how could he have let his base desires ruin this before he had even had a chance to declare his desire to court her. Dropping painfully onto the bed, Shiver hid his face in his hands as he snorted in disgust at himself. Sure he could claim that it was the stress and pressure that had made him act so honourlessly. But that was of little help when he had come so close to...
Goddess above, rubbing his hands together, he shuddered and forced himself to focus on the dull throbbing of his overworked shoulder and thigh. And not the lingering sensation of her silken skin against his fingers or the ghost of her heat that still remained on his skin that left him painfully hard and aroused. Because if he didn't get a grip on himself instantly, he might very well march right down the corridor, knock her door down and...
No, thoughts like that was not helping! Nothing was !
Sliding his hands into his hair, Shiver yanked hard, hoping that the sudden pain might distract him, yet again it was a resounding no as the movement only served to remind him of the way she had gripped his dreads as she deepened their kiss, and the result was that he remained as aroused as before. A strange mix of excitement and defeat filled him, as he resolutely flung a crystal at the closed door, locking it and simultaneously slid his hand into his silk pyjamas pants palming his own burning length. Wrapping long calloused fingers around the straining lightly veined flesh, he stroked slowly as images of Lilly straddling him once more filled his blood with heat..
. . .
God damn that bastard! How the fuck could he do that to her?
Swiping an innocent vase off of her dresser, she watched in grim satisfaction as the golden crystal abandoned it's elegant long necked shape and shattered all over the hard oak floor in a shower of reflected light. Damn him straight to hell!
Punching a stuffed fur pillow, Lilly snarled and kicked out at nothing with a furious growl. God she didn't even know who she was most angry at, because she had acted just as much like a hormone addled teenager as he had, only she hadn't up and looked disgusted in the middle of it all. But then she couldn't really blame him. Turning to the full length mirror that made up her closet door, Lilly sighed as she looked at her own lanky body. How could she ever begin to think that she might be able to elicit such passion, in a knight who had to be use to perfect women with all the right curves, and faces that could make the angels weep in envy.
Wiping angrily at the tears that suddenly rolled down her cheeks. She should know better by now, she was not the kind of girl that was meant to find someone to love, at least not someone like him. And the faster she accepted that fact the better.
Flopping onto her bed, Lilly curled up into a tight ball of misery as she fought back the feeling of having been used and lamented the end of a friendship.
. . .
Morning broke and with it the whiteout that had engulfed the lonely lodge. On the surface nothing appeared to have changed. Lilly was as always busy frying bacon and kneading bread, while Didymus chopped more firewood for the stove, and hearths. It was not like they really needed it, but the fox found that he enjoyed the way the physical exertion woke his muscles and cleared the cobwebs of sleep away.
Leaning against the heavy splitting axe Didymus sighed and wiped the beads of sweat that clung to his rusty red fur, away before it would freeze there. Normally he loved mornings, but not this one.
Because this morning was ripe with a tension that he couldn't decipher as he watched Shiver limping around the kitchen with a dark shameful look on his face, at once seeming to both want to help and be near the lithe girl, but also holding a strange distance that seemed almost aggressive. While Lilly looked to be on the verge of bursting into tears as she refused to make any kind of eye contact with anyone. Something had clearly happened between them, and since neither of them had confided in him yet, he was consigned to waiting for one of them to, as Sarah would say, spill the beans. And until that happened he would play the role of moderator, and try to prevent them killing each other.
Gathering the freshly split wood in the heavy woven basket, Didymus squared his shoulders and prepared to enter the icy fray.
Breakfast was ... Silent. Not the pleasant kind of silent that had occasionally descended on them as they had enjoyed each others company. No this was the razor edged variety that came with its very own frigid cold front, and had Didymus feeling like a blizzard of epic proportions were about to erupt in the warm kitchen.
Not one word passed between the goblin and the girl, as they sat with downcast eyes and picked at the customary bounty of food. Leaning back in his chair, Didymus quietly studied the pair. Both had dark circles around their eyes, and neither looked to have taken their usual care with their appearance. In fact both looked to have just rolled out of bed, and pulled on the same rumbled clothes that they had worn the day before. Shaking his head slightly, Didymus cleared his throat and was about to break the silence, when Shiver nearly knocked his chair over in his haste to escape before any questions were asked of him. And his green complexion seemed to blanch a few shades as he laid weight on his injured leg trying to move faster than necessary.
That in itself was not overly unusual, Shiver had practically made an art out of delaying his own healing by habitually ignoring the injuries and putting undue stress on them, thus tearing the weakened tissue, reopening the wounds and making himself far more susceptible to infections resulting in the knight falling prey to fevers on a regular basis. Something that Didymus was feeling reasonably certain was happening again before their very eyes .
Leaning forward Didymus smiled encouragingly as he laid his enormous hand over Lilly's tiny slender one forcing her to remain seated as he sought to capture her flickering eyes: "Sweet girl, what hast happened? Thou seems to be in such distress, and it doth pain me to see thee thus. Pray confide in me that I might lessen thy burden. "
"No ": She murmured quietly, staring at the hand/paw that held her captive: "No I can't ... Not yet, it still hurts too much. And I still feel like such an utter Idiot for not seeing it before it was too late..."
Yanking her hand free, Lilly met his gaze dead on, and Didymus could see the pain and hurt in her eyes as she gave a self depreciating shrug: Look Didymus, I get that you want to help, but ... Sometimes you just have to accept and push through it."
Nodding as he searched her face for clues, but seeing only wounded determination: "Verily my lady, though not all pain lessen in time, and know that not all must be suffered in solitude ..."
"Yeah I know, and don't worry I'll get there, I'm just not there yet okay.."
Picking up her own plate, Lilly smiled apologetically as she held out her hand waiting for Didymus to relinquish his empty plate, so she could begin doing the dishes. Returning the smile as he rose, Didymus gently took her plate from her and placed in on top of his and Shiver's before stepping in and gently wrapping his arms around her in a warm fatherly embrace, that nearly swallowed up her minute willowy frame as she melted into him with a strangled sob.
Gently stroking her free flowing hair, Didymus soothed her with soft gentle words as he promised her that all would be well and that time would seal any rift, until she stilled and simply let herself be held.
She was so strong as she took care of them all, and it made it exceeding easy to forget just how small and fragile she really was. By the great goddess she was not even past her first quarter century, and though humans matured quickly she was still little more than a child. And as Didymus watched her pull herself back together and hide the tears behind a small rueful smile, he vowed that he would bridge this rift between the two youngsters because if he was not wrong they were both hurting.
. . .
Sunlight filtered unhindered in through the large panoramic windows, painting gold and crimson patterns inside his closed eyelids calling him inescapable from the sanctuary of sleep. And with the seductive light came pain.
It was not the sharp biting pain of fresh injuries, but the dull pulsing of healing flesh and strengthening bone. And as pain went it was by far the more preferable. Pushing up through the final layers of taffy like sleepiness, Jareth sighed and opened his eyes.
She lay beside him, bathed in the golden radiance of the morning light. Warm golden tones played across her ivory skin reviewing the image of the sleeping hunter goddess resting wounded but victorious. Even now with a stained bandage covering one eye and half her face, and bruises covering all visible skin she still took his breath away. Not just the sheer physical perfection of her features, but the unbreakable courage and undying love that was required for woman, or man for that matter of fact to possess, in order for them to make such a sacrifice. She was in all aspects perfect. And pushing up on his left arm, Jareth reached out running his fingers delicately along the edge of the bandage, marvelling at the silky coolness of her skin. Ignoring the moisture gathering in the corner of his eye, Jareth gazed down at her with utter adoration as he softly hummed.
There's such a sad love
Deep in your eyes.
A kind of pale jewel
Open and closed
Within your eyes.
I'll place the sky
Within your eyes.
There's such a fooled heart
Beatin' so fast
In search of new dreams.
A love that will last
Within your heart.
I'll place the moon
Within your heart.
As the pain sweeps through,
Makes no sense for you.
Every thrill is gone.
Wasn't too much fun at all,
But I'll be there for you-ou-ou
As the world falls down.
Falling.
Falling down.
Falling in love.
A faint flicker of her lightly bruised eyelid caused her ebony lashes to quiver like the wings of a night fey. A softly content smile played across her wounded lips as she stretched languidly and whispered.
I'll paint you mornings of gold.
I'll spin you Valentine evenings.
Though we're strangers 'til now,
We're choosing the path
Between the stars.
I'll leave my love
Between the stars.
As the pain sweeps through,
Makes no sense for you.
Every thrill is gone.
Wasn't too much fun at all,
But I'll be there for you-ou-ou
As the world falls down.
Falling
As the world falls down.
Falling
As the world falls down.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling in love
Her voice was soft and loving as she reached up to cup his fever hot face, and bring him down for a deep kiss. Her lips were cool against his, and even though she tasted faintly of blood, and his entire body trembled and ached with the strain of holding the awkward position, it was still the sweetest kiss that they had ever shared. There was love there, tinged with fear and relief, but they were here, still unbroken. And melting into that freely offered gift Jareth felt the first cracks in his soul mend.