Even Death

by Midtnight

Raising his head ever so slightly, his mismatched eyes gazed up at her lazily through the lifeless strands of his unruly mane. Sitting there as if he was nowhere he had not expected to be, as if kneeling half naked and bloody on the floor of a college dorm room was nothing out of the ordinary for the Goblin King, Jareth smiled softly. Now fully betaed Please read warnings !

42. Love me, Heal me

AN: So it's time for some comfort dont you all think.

. .,. .

CHAPTER 42: Love Me Heal Me (b)

Healing.

It's a simple word that describes amongst other things the re-strengthening of traumatically injured tissue. A process that unlike the word was anything but simple.

It had been three days, three days since the spell holding Jareth king of the goblins and lord of the Labyrinth had been shattered through the determination of Sarah.

Three days since Shiver had so foolishly allowed his unseemly lust to destroy all hope he might have had of courting Lilly.

Three days since he had spoken a word to anyone, that was not absolutely necessary.

And three endless days where he had seen Lilly and Didymus grow ever tighter, often laughing and joking as he entered the great room or garden. But not once inviting him into their shared happiness.

Nursing the steaming cup of birch bark and honey tea, Shiver sat on the iced over porch steps, staring blankly out at the glistening fairy-tale landscape, feeling utterly wretched as he forced himself to take another mouthful of the foul brew. The taste was bitter and the copious amounts of honey did very little to disguise the taste of the strong bark extract. Sighing despondently Shiver lifted the mug and drew yet another swallow, grimacing at the way it made his throat close.

Goddess above he hated birch tea, but it was all he had to keep the fever creeping up on him and the constant burning pain in his thigh at bay. Well not all, slipping his hand into his pocket he pulled out a tiny oilpaper envelope. At first glance it would seem to be empty, but it wasn't, far from it, inside was a faintly yellow powder derived from the roots of eyemoss and if dissolved in wine and drunk it would relieve the pain, but leave him near comatose for a few hours, and he really didn't want to scare Lilly and Didymus like that, not now when that might just serve to drive them closer together.

Drinking another mouthful he gagged, but valiantly held it down.

"Verily young Shiver thou doth appear to consume quite an abundance of birch bark, doth thy wounds still cause thee pain? "

Shiver's wide shoulders hunched as he stare stubbornly into the steaming murky liquid, childishly refusing to acknowledge the concerned fox's presence . It was not that he disliked Didymus, because he really didn't. It was just so bloody hard being this weak, and fucking helpless while having to rely on the only fucking warrior to have bested him in one on one battle. Ever. And then have to watch the fox woo the woman that he himself wanted. While he was helpless as a babe, and still fighting a wound that by all fucking rights should have at least closed, if not healed by now. From a battle that Didymus had come out of utterly unscathed no less! It was just too infuriating for words, and now, just when he had thought that he had managed to get Lilly convinced that he did in fact find her very desirable. And that he might finally have had a real shot at courting her the way a rare beauty such as she should be courted. He had to go and let his overly excited emotions get the best of him, nearly ravaging her.

"Shiver? Art thou well?"

The concerned tone in Didymus voice grated on Shivers frayed nerves and filled him with unfounded irrational anger, and he had to fight to keep from snapping at the tall knight as he ground out.

"Fine, I am fine.. Stop concerning yourself with my wellbeing. . I am...Fine. I."

"Thou doth not look to be fine, thou lookst.."

Surging to his feet, Shiver rounded on the other knight, fully intending to tear into him. Only the damnable cretin had done nothing wrong. He was so infuriatingly perfect and nothing he did ever...

The world spun slowly around him as all strength left his legs and everything turned too hot.

Large cool arms just barely managed to stop his fall before he would had tumbled off the porch, and Shiver hated just how grateful he felt for those arm as they hoisted him up and carried him from the cold.

. ... .

Time had shifted and become a strangely elastic thing.

At times it seemed to vanish, hours gone in the blink of an eye, and at others a mere minute could appear to last for days. And this was one of those moments that seemed to stretch into eternity.

Staring out of the window, Jareth watched the soft snowfall as it covered the newborn world in its frigid embrace. Ice flowers bloomed on the outside of his window, and it felt so very fitting that this world should mirror the ice that had lodged inside of his chest.

Cold despair and frigid pain mingled inside him, leeching the warmth from his still living flesh. Pressing his remaining hand against the icy pane, Jareth held back his desire to put his fist through the brittle barrier. Instead he let the cold soak into his palm holding it there until he could no longer feel his fingers even as he moved them.

How long would it take he wondered, to die if he were to venture outside? In his present state of weakness it would be mere moments, before he would be freed from this maimed and pathetic shell. Pulling his stiff hand away, Jareth watched in detached lethargy as colour returned to his chalk white palm. It seemed like such an easy way to die, and had he been mortal, he would have dragged himself outside and...

No shaking himself mentally, Jareth turned from the window to look at Sarah as she slept in their fur filled nest. No he couldn't give up that easily, not when she had fought so hard for him. Given so much.

And he could not give up, not even when his soul felt shrivelled and dead. The only time he felt alive was when he saw the love he felt for her reflected back at him from her glowing face. It was more painful than he would have ever thought and yet strangely he would change nothing.

Moving caused pain to flare through him, not just from the bruises and cuts that his own mind had inflicted on them both, but also or rather mostly from the injuries caused by the seven years of torture that still had not fully healed. Yes he could move and to most he would appear strong, but each step as he walked back to their bed caused excruciating agony as bones that remained weakened protested, and threatened to shatter again.

Dropping down on the bed, he stretched out on his side on the thick fur with a soft shuddering sigh. Resting his head on his crippled arm, He ruthlessly ignored the pain of his shoulder as the cracked clavicle protested the strain of his position.

Physical pain he could ignore, or at least he could ignore his own pain, Sarah's was a wholly different matter.

His hand moved on it's own accord to gently smooth out the lines on her brow created by the pain of her injuries. Biting back a vicious curse, Jareth traced the harsh line between the crisp white bandage and her creamy skin with a bandage covered finger.

His claws were gone again, and the gaping holes that remained sent electric impulses up his arm each time he was foolish enough to move his fingers. Yet he just couldn't keep from touching her, reassuring himself that she was truly there. Because the spell might be gone, vanished in a dusting of gold. But in his tormented mind, all he saw was her dead eyes staring up at him in silent accusation as her lifeblood spread below her, staining the Labyrinths pale stone.

"Jareth? "

Tears he hadn't realized he was shedding dripped freely onto Sarah's frowning and worried face like heavy rain. As the ghosts of sleep were chased from her by concern for him. Shaking his head at what he saw reflected up at him, he whispered: "Why? Why do you care for me? Why when I am nothing? Worse I may cause the death of us all, simply by being weak... "

"No Jareth! No.."

Her hands cupped his face supporting him as the strength of his pathetic stump evaporated and forced him to roll onto his back, as the bisected muscle contacted and twitched painfully.

"No you are not weak! You were young and you trusted your own mother, that makes you betrayed not weak, never weak! "

Her entire face glowed with the conviction of her words as she held him captive with her cool hands on his face: "You are strong enough that Titania was forced to attempt to kill you before you were even born! You resisted her web for millennia. Forcing her to use other means of control, now if that is weak, then no one is strong."

"But she won Sarah, she won the Labyrinth is dying and I cannot stop it! "

Hopelessness covered him like a stifling blanket, stealing the light from his eyes and making the tears flow even faster.

"No ": Sarah agreed, causing his eyes to widen in horrified disbelief: "You can't do it alone, but we can do this together. "

" You don't understand": Struggling to grasp the words necessary to explain just how desperate this situation was, Jareth stopped and stuttered, before finally saying: "I was born to give it form, to tame it, and all that exists in it has the form that I give it! The goblins are unaffected by time because I will it so... and now, now all I see in my mind are the charred and broken bodies of my subjects! They are already dead, they just have not caught up to that fact yet. The flesh reflects the soul Sarah, and my soul..."

"I know, Jareth": Lightly touching the gauze covering the massive hole left by her eye, Sarah sighed sadly: "I know, most likely better than anyone else, and that is why we will stay here for as long as you need to stop being dead inside! "

Shaking his head, he wanted to scream at her, shout that that would be too late that the labyrinth would be bleed out by then, and all this for naught. Desperate he tried to twist away from her gentle grip, but her hands were too strong, reminding him only of his own weakness as he was forced to meet her unbearable kind gaze: "No it will be too late, It is already too late! I have killed them, I have killed them all... They are nothing but decomposing flesh in a crumbling dream ! "

Her shoulders slumped as she sat back, sliding her fingers down his arm to grasp his hand.

"No it is not too late, I can promise you that... Look..."

"How ": He interrupted heatedly: "How can you say that? You know as well as I, that time passes more swiftly in the Labyrinth, three days pass for each one aboveground, and we have been here what three weeks? Four? There is no possible way for the Labyrinth to have survived this long! Hoggle and all we know are dead. And it is a matter of days at most before the veil will crumble and the realms merge once more..."

Her expression grew impatient as she laid a slender claw tipped finger across his lips, silencing him: "But we are not in the aboveground, now are we? This world, this ... sanctuary that I have sung forth, it rest outside of time. Yes weeks have passed here, but aboveground not a second have passed. We have a lifetime here, all inside a single moment."

Confusion made his mind swim as exhaustion began to tear at the edges of his mind. Outside of time, so that was how they had ripped him from death's grasp, how they had saved his life.

His mouth dropped open as he suddenly saw this deceptively frail looking woman in a new light. Because yes he had heard Lilly mumble something about them being in a world sung up by Sarah, but he had been too entangled in the spell and the blinding rage it had filled him with to understand what that meant, not just to him, but to the Labyrinth. Because time was suddenly no longer a factor, he could stay here, free, and without obligations for as long as he wanted or needed, he could stay in her arms until he was whole again, until he came to terms with all that he had lost, but also won. For the first time in his infinite life he could actually be... Free.

His eyes burned, and his mind reeled as he tried to understand the concept of freedom, of not being the Goblin King, and lord of the Labyrinth , but just ... Jareth. Whoever that actually was.

"I can be free? Truly free?"

"Yeah,": Nodding eagerly Sarah beamed down at him, as the warmth of the bed seemed to overwhelm him and force his abused body to relax : "You can be free. We can be free, here together, for as long as we want. We can live our lives here ... But right now you need to rest okay, because you look so drawn that I can't believe that you are still conscious.

"Yes ": Jareth sighed as his heavy eyes closed : "Rest... I can finally rest."

The soft siren call of sleep pulled at his brutalized consciousness, and Jareth was only too happy to let the soothing darkness, smother the thoughts that all clamoured for attention and grant him peace.

. . .

"I can be free? Truly free? "

The hope filled expression on Jareth's pale face almost broke her heart as he whispered "free". Because the light that glowed out at her was almost childlike. And truly how long had it been since he had been without the pressure of responsibility? Had he ever been just Jareth with no one depending on him?

Holding back tears of sorrow for the child that he had never been allowed to truly be. She nodded and smiled: "Yeah, you can be free, we can be free, here together, for as long as we want. We can live our lives here ... But right now you need to rest okay, because you look so drawn that I can't believe that you are still conscious. "

His entire body seemed to release some tension that, she had only just now been made aware of, as his eyes closed and he breathed out: "Yes.. Rest... I can finally rest."

Staying by his side as he succumb to sleep, Sarah leaned in to lay a gentle kiss on his pale forehead, tasting the salty and faintly bitter tang of his sweat.

Goddess above but he looked tired, not physically, though she was certain that he was that too. No the exhaustion that lay over him, was the kind that came from a lifetime of being forced to be the strong one, of being the one upon which everyone depended. Soothing his long slightly damp hair back, Sarah sighed softly. He would need a haircut soon, hair this long would be neigh on impossible to keep groomed with only one hand, and would only serve to remind him of all the things that would have to be relearned. But she had to admit that she did like the way the longer hair softened his features and made him look younger and softer somehow. It actually suited him far better than the spiky eighties mullet he had sported originally, even though that had also looked surprisingly good.

In it's own way.

She lay with her forehead pressed against his, softly breathing in his sleeping breath, when her stomach decided to make her aware of it's plight by rumbling loudly enough that she actually startled, and jerked upright pressing a hand against her empty belly.

Hunger filled her mind with images of the full larder and giving his hair one final caress, she slipped silently from the heat of their furs with a low grunt of pain as her hurt body protested the sudden movement and shift in temperature. Grabbing her cream dressing gown, and throwing it on, Sarah quietly padded from the room, leaving the door open, as she headed towards the strangely silent great room in her quest to still the rumbling of her intestines. Entering the room, Sarah was met by a harsh wind gushing in through the open front door, carrying with it the sound of tightly controlled voices.

"Thou doth not look to be fine, thou lookst... My goddess"

The shocked exclamation was promptly followed by the rustling of sounds of a large body being lifted, and the soft nasal moans of a goblin in pain. Ignoring the pain in her own still healing feet, Sarah rushed to the door, nearly barrelling straight into Didymus, carrying a limp, pale Shiver.

"Good Goddess what happened? "

Shaking his head slightly, Didymus barely paused as he strode purposefully through the great room towards the bedrooms: "I feareth that it is the wound that continues to fester, and our young knight who is too prideful to ask for the help needed. I shall forthwith take him to his chamber, and do what little I know how. My lady wouldst thou find the Lady Lilly, and beseech her to brew an infusion of the poppy and blue leaf willow rose? I strongly suspect that we shall need to induce a deep sleep to our young knight."

The voice was hoarse and small, but the childish venom in it carried clearly, as Shiver mumbled weakly: "I am not a ... child. Let me... down... I do not need... any damn infusion. "

Not missing a stride as he continued despite the now weakly struggling goblin, Didymus simple replied: "I know this very well Lord Shiver, and I meant no disrespect, but thy wound requires rest and thou art aflame with fever... There is no dishonour in being in need of aide my lord, I do in fact see it as a sign of strength for a knight to know when help is required.. "

The weak struggling increased slightly, but not enough that the fox appeared to have any real difficulty holding onto the goblin, as Shiver bared wickedly sharp teeth snarling: "Let me down."

Calmly ignoring the outburst, Didymus shouldered the door open and winking over his struggling burden, the large fox vanished from view.

It felt strange to turn away, and limp into the garden in search of Lilly instead of being the one to assist Didymus with the stubborn knight. But unlike the two knights, Sarah knew herself well enough to know that she would be on the floor if she didn't rest soon. And she also knew that treating Shivers wound would likely end up taking longer than she had in her. And so Sarah found herself searching for Lilly instead of trying to muscle through something that she bloody well knew that she couldn't.

Lilly sat all but hidden below the huge sheltering leaves of the waist high rhubarbs, at first she looked to be weeding but once Sarah came a little closer, it became apparent that she was just sitting there doing nothing but staring into the air with a sad look in her dull eyes. Feeling her breath hitch in her chest at the sight, Sarah stopped at a corner, where the fanlike leaves of golden red lace ferns would hide her, but allow her a clear view of Lilly's hunched over form.

The slight girl sat, drawing swirling doodles in the fat soil below the umbrella like leaves, looking like she was about to burst into tears. Sighing, Sarah rubbed her bandaged hands through her hair. Lilly hadn't told her what had happened between her and Shiver. But it was abundantly clear that something had transpired, that had them avoiding each other like the plague, and had them both looking like kicked unwanted puppies.

Rubbing her temples angrily, Sarah swore viciously. Goddess damn the difference between humans and goblins, it didn't take a psychic to see that they were both hurt and pining. Yeah this was a situation that could only be solved with a few tubs of Ben and Jerry's chocolate fudge. But first they had to mend that dammed goblin, and thoroughly, because this was becoming damn tiresome.

Oh goddess above, tiresome. Snickering to herself, Sarah stepped out from behind the ferns and walked as fast as her still healing feet would allow. She was really beginning to sound like Jareth, not that, that was strange, considering that she now remembered every single day of their shared lives in the living dream. And there were so many. But it was amusing.

The smile they always brought to her face was still in place as she broke the heavy silence surrounding her best friend.

"Hey mopey face, you look like someone's kicked your puppy."

"Yeah? Well you shouldn't be out of bed yet, you look like warmed over shit! What'd you want anyway? "

Goddess, she looked so sad, but now was not the time to nurse her bruised heart.

"Look there's no good way to tell you this, Shiver is down again, Didymus just carried him to his room, and asked me to get you to make an infusion of poppy and blue leaf willow rose."

"Oh god not again!"

Leaping to her feet, Lilly stormed past Sarah with a look of horror on her face, as she headed straight towards the hanging dark blue blooms of the willow roses: "I'll need four no five buds yeah, and some more grey moss..."

Rummaging through the garden, Lilly continued her mumbled tirade as she fluttered from flowerbed to flowerbed gathering the ingredients that she by now knew by heart. Smiling softly to herself, Sarah watched for a few minutes before turning to walk back to the kitchen to thoroughly raid the pantry of any and all snack foods.

. . .

Setting the bloodstained rags alight, Lilly turned from the great room hearth, coming face to face with Sarah holding two full quarter tubs of Ben and Jerry's. Just as Didymus vanish down the corridor towards the bedrooms with a nervous glint in his eye, and a covered tray that held Jareth's still steaming dinner.

God but she wasn't in the mood for some bullshit attempt at making her feel better, not now after three hours of being wrist deep in Shivers thigh as they had lanced four deep and festering boils caused by tiny pieces of fey steel. Right now all she wanted was to go to her room and curl up on her bed and cry, or though the ice-cream did look fantastic, and knowing that it wouldn't make her fat... Oh hell sin free Ben and Jerry's was worth having Sarah try to do an intervention, not that Sarah needed to know that though.

Pulling the apron off with a disgusted jerk, Lilly wiped her fingers on it before dumping it unceremoniously into the fire, with a decisively sour expression

"So what's the deal here shouldn't you be all over his royal messiness in there?"

"Nope, he's reading and needed a little space, so I thought that we could enjoy some sin free ice-cream and beer, while we catch up on all this crazy shit that we are caught in. I don't know about you, but I got a load of shit I need to vent, so your room? "

Huh what did you know, maybe this wasn't Sarah wanting to poke her nose into things that wasn't her business, maybe she just wanted to have a girl talk. Shrugging, Lilly accepted the offered ice cream. Yeah beer, ice cream and girl talk she could do.

"Sure my room, I'll get the fire going, and we can camp in the bed. How's the eye? Don't that itch like hell?... "

If it hadn't been for the wooden walls, heavy velvet bedding, roaring fire and the four hundred or so candles strew about the room, they might as well have been back at their dorm. They had started out sitting against the headboard, but as the hours had melted away, they had shifted around, and both were now lying on their stomachs poking at the rapidly melting ice-cream, while Sarah rambled on about all the crazy shit she had seen inside Jareth's head.

There had been soooooo much weirdness, wolves of doubt, bogs of fear, and that creepy spell creature without a face. Wow, that was all that Lilly could say. But the fact that Sarah had gone through all that, seen the broken wasteland that was Jareth's mind, given her eye to save him and still loved him unconditionally, made her just a little jealous. God she wanted that too, someone who she could love despite all their brokenness, someone who needed her as much as she needed them, someone she would be willing to give an eye, and go through fire for.

And for a few seconds she had been sure that was what she was about to have with Shiver, which was utterly ridiculous because something like what Sarah had with Jareth took years to get, not just a few frantic weeks... right?

What if it didn't, what if it could simply spring to life fully formed and ready, like that love at first sight crap movies and books were always trying to ship, but it couldn't be, cause that shit was always reciprocated, and this wasn't.

"You've been awfully quiet for the last few minutes you care to share those rain clouds or is this a one man shower?"

Sighing deeply, Lilly let go of her spoon, and watched in grim satisfaction as it sunk to it's sticky tomb at the bottom of the tub, did she want to tell Sarah? What good would it do, other than rip up already raw emotions. Heaving another sigh, Lilly dropped the tub on the floor, before rolling to her back to stare up at the rough hewn ceiling. Naah there was no way around it, she had to tell Sarah, that was what they did, shared shit, and she had to admit, it usually made everything feel better. Oh hell here goes.

"Yeah it's been weird for me too, I've kind of been hanging out with Shiver, and... Oh fuck I really can't believe that I'm actually going to say this out loud, but... I may have a major crush on him..."

Turning ever so slightly, to sneak a peek at Sarah's reaction, left Lilly with the distinct feeling that Sarah might have spotted all this already, and had just been watching and waiting for Lilly to spill the beans. A suspicion that was promptly confirmed when Sarah just nodded and prompted: "Yeah I've. . or that is we've all noticed, but something changed right? "

"Yeah something changed alright! He's a goddamn idiot is what changed!"

"Ouch that sounds bad, right start at the beginning, and don't skimp on the dirt.."

And off she went, starting with how she had helped him on the walk through the forest, and the crossbow that he had made her even though it had hurt him. (And which still hung on it's place above her fireplace) To how happy Shiver had been that she had stayed with him as he had suffered the fever nightmares, and continuing through how they had laughed and joked together when they woke up beside each other, making their sharing a bed so natural that she now missed the feeling of his skin against hers. To how he would constantly compliment her and try to appear stronger than he was, so she would feel safe when she needed comfort, which he almost always and without fail knew when she did. And finally his strange outburst when she had gone out into the snowstorm, and the very satisfying make out session that had seen it all ruined. Lilly's voice trailed into silence as she wiped angrily at the damned unwanted tears that rolled down her cheeks: "Yeah so that's what happened and we haven't spoken a word since, not one! He would rather die than ask me for help! How stupid is that?"

"Umh I ": Resting on her elbows, Sarah gazed into the leaping fire as she tried to take it all in, yeah Shiver had been an idiot, but it stemmed from the way that Labyrinthian goblins held any such romantic feelings under sharp control. Not because they weren't passionate creatures, because they were, but because they had seen too often what happened when they succumb to those emotions. Hell Sarah was willing to bet her bottom dollar that Shiver was avoiding Lilly because he was convinced that he had offended her by being so aggressive. And in the case of almost any goblin woman he would have. Aah the joys of straddling the cultural gap.

"Okay you gotta understand Lilly that goblins don't rush into relationships, first of all they live for like thousands of years and they only marry once, and secondly they are very passionate beings, and that means that they have to keep their, you know urges under tight control. .. Look if you had been a goblin, then what he did would have been unforgivable, he would have shown himself weak and have insulted your honour".

Pausing to let the words sink in Sarah reached down and pulled up two fresh beers, and handing one to Lilly she continued: "If you had been a goblin you would never want to talk to him again, so that's what I think happened, true he could have handled the whole thing way better, but eeh what are you gonna do... So my best advice is, go talk to him, and yeah do it while he is chained to that bed, and can't run away."

"Seriously that's you advice? He jumped off of me like I was on fire! And you want me to tell him that I understand why he did it, and then tell him that I still want him? That he didn't offend me?! Well guess what, He fucking did! I mean are you nuts? Really you.. what.. No! "

Taking a deep swig of her beer, Sarah glanced up at Lilly with a deceptively sweet smile on her lips: "So what happened to the girl who told me to think it over and not give up. Hmm? To fight? Look I get that he hurt you, I mean Jareth made me seriously consider letting an entire world die, just so I wouldn't have to talk to him again. So yeah I get it, but what I also get is, that there is a huge cultural difference between you two, and even if he hadn't been a complete jackass you would have had to have a talk about it. Cause a normal goblin courtship lasts around forty to fifty years, and you my sweet mortal little peach just don't have that kind of time. Plus once we return to the aboveground, you're gonna have to figure out what you wanna do."

Lilly looked, so lost as she hid her face in her hands and growled in frustrated exasperation: "Jesus are you kidding me Sarah... Why the fucking hell do you have to be so goddamn right?... Argh... It's.. It's just not fair.."

And no there were no way in hell that Sarah could keep the grin from her face when those words left Lilly's lips. And there was only one real answer to give: "Yeah well that's the way it is. But hey whatever you do decide to do, I'll have your back. Now beer time."

"Yeah beer, beer is good."

. . .

The room was lit by a soft golden fey light, that had the room sparkling ever so slightly, in a way that was very reminiscent of the Labyrinth. Sitting in the huge overstuffed armchair beside the empty and cold fireplace, with a large leather-bound book floating lazily before him was Jareth. Though to claim that he was sitting would be something of a stretch. Jareth didn't just sit. Oh no, he lounged regally with his left leg thrown carelessly over the armrest and his right stretched out in front of him, as if the chair was a throne. And not even the casual dark blue silk jersey pyjama pants and fur draped over his shoulder to cover the stump of his arm, giving the illusion that the limb was still there, could disguise that this was a king. Letting the door close behind him Didymus couldn't help but feel saddened at the way the image of the mercurial regent shattered, as Jareth flinched at the doors soft thump.

Dark circles made the slightly uncertain and scared look so much more potent as Jareth's head whipped up, and their gazes met. It was a look, that Didymus had seen before, but then it had been in his own mirror, after he had escaped from the years of horror that he had endured after the death of his clan. And the fox knew the terror and fear that caused it well. Yes Sarah had been right in her assessment, that no matter how much the once formidable king was trying to hide it, he was now a broken man, in desperate need of true friends, to help him heal.

The haunted look persisted as Jareth sat frozen like a deerlarck in moonlight, setting the tray on the low table, the large fox bowed formally as he stepped back.

"My liege I have brought thy evening meal, meagre as it is I hope that you will enjoy it.

The pale man nodded slightly, as he licked dry lips, before speaking in a soft apologetic voice. " Thank you Sir Didymus, that is most kind of you but I am not truly hungry..."

"I know my liege but thou must eat to regain thy strength, in any case it is but a light meal."

The hollowness of his kings eyes made Didymus feel like a bully, but his words were true, getting Jareth to eat was anything but easy. And Didymus understood Jareth's reluctance perfectly, because eating often made him sick, or caused him pain, as his shrunken iron burned stomach tried to accommodate even just a few mouthfuls. But hard as it may be it did not negate the need for him to eat. Magic could only sustain him it could not help him rebuild his strength, and this knowledge left Didymus with no option but to pressure the pale king.

Keeping eye contact with him, Didymus let him see that determination. And finally after a few tense seconds did Jareth nod: "Very well I shall try, but please lord Didymus I could not possibly eat all this... Would you join me?"

A surprised smile tweaked the corners of Didymus wide mouth as he nodded his acceptance and sat in the opposite armchair, it was a small victory, but still a victory: "It would be my honour sire."

The meal consisted of a handful of freshly smoked snow dancers filled with an assortment of freshly chopped herbs and onions, lain on a bed of finely sliced vegetables from their winter garden. Which was finally after three weeks producing produce which was laden with the life of the world.

Picking at the fragrant food, Jareth sighed and spoke with his eyes downcast: "Please call me Jareth, here in this miracle realm I am no king. Here I am merely a man trying to find my way through the wreckage of my own mind..."

Stopping mid sentence, Jareth's eyes flicked up to gauge the expression on Didymus face as if afraid that he had somehow angered the fox knight. The very thought that the goblin king was capable of such open and raw vulnerability and hurt had the fox leaning forward and gently, almost fatherly grabbing the smaller males trembling hand: "I will be most honoured to call you Jareth."

Fear shone brightly for a few tense seconds, then the bicolored eyes warmed as Jareth's rigid shoulders relaxed ever so slightly.

Silence swaddled them as Jareth divided the food onto two plates, which he conjured effortlessly from two slightly dull but otherwise flawless crystals.

Sitting back in his chair Didymus spent the time watching the awkward way Jareth moved, the way he constantly had to stop himself from reaching out with the hand that was no longer there, and how conscious he was of keeping the stump hidden beneath the fur.

Accepting the plate with a slight nod, Didymus set in on his knees before gesturing towards the fur covered stump: "Doth thy arm still trouble thee? Doth thee feel that it is still there? Perchance it itches and burns where no flesh remains? "

"Yes I still feel it, at night it burns and itches, ceasing only when I conjure an illusion of it to scratch or douse in cold snow. Did your eye do the same? "

Nodding Didymus placed his plate on the table beside his chair, before casually taking Jareth's plate and peeling the meat from the small bones.

"Verily it doth still feel as it did when it was taken. Some nights I feel as though the fork is still lodged in mine skull."

"Huh. If I may ask, how did you lose your eye?"

It was a question, not a command, but a question softly spoken with genuine interest. It was not in anyway what Didymus had expected from the goblin king, but then this wasn't the goblin king, this was Jareth. Handing the plate back to the slightly blushing Fey, Didymus picked up his own again, and sighed darkly. This was not a tale that he relished retelling. But pain did not thrive in the light, and Jareth needed to know that it was safe to share his pain. And Didymus may not be a bloodthorn but this was a sword that he could fall on for his king.

"I...this's a tale that I hath never shared, nor ever thought to share, but: His hands moved without thought as he picked the small bird carcasses apart, with a half sad, half wry smile on his face, as he spoke in a matter of fact tone: "I hath just escaped the complete destruction of my clan. From the smallest newborn pup to the most venerable elder, all were slain. Their lifeless bodies rent that their skin might be harvested. Their viscera dried over opens fire pits, to be used in spells. "

Jareth's face had frozen in a mask of horror, and his food sat forgotten in his lap.

"My pup's, and their mother..."

Didymus voice hitched and tears caused his eye to glitter as he stuttered to a halt and stared at the crystals floating lazily in the fireplace, giving of a soft heat. Pain rolled off him in a wave, and Jareth was just about to tell him that he didn't have to proceed when Didymus drew in a deep breath and continued: "My family, lay dead, our home burnt to the ground, and all who remained was I... And I... to mine undying shame I fled... I sought the safety of the deep forest, but in mine haste I had left a trail for the fey to follow. I hath found refuge by a lake when they fell upon me, wielding blades of fey steel and wicked whips. I hath no desire for life, verily I desired death, and I fell upon them with that desire in my heart. I know not how many souls I sent through the veil yonder day, I knoweth only that at the end of that fight I found myself bound, bloody, bruised and sadly very much alive.

They took me to their queen, who impressed by my skill in battle decreed that I must remain her pet until such time as she should tire of me. I was thus stripped naked and chained hand and foot by that cruel creatures throne. Day and night I remained there bound in my own filth, degraded and debased, released only to fight for her pleasure... I became the beast they claimed us to be, as the agony of being kept ever starving in every way, doth stripped all resemblance of culture and coherent thought from my person... "

The food on Jareth's plate was half gone by the time, Didymus paused to eat a few morsels before they turned cold. Chewing slowly as he savoured the buttery bird meat, and banished the ghosts of hunger both physical and magical, he tried not to dwell on the pain. Because the pain was past, and only using it for something constructive could ever make it mean something.

"I knoweth now that years hath passed as I languished in agony, but to me it was of no consequence. I merely existed for the next morsel allowed me... And then came a glorious day. The queen hath me brought forth into the light of a midsummers dawn to be present as the rulers of the realms celebrated the midsummer light. Once more I found myself chained but I cared not, for verily I hath become the mindless beast. Then a proud golden king came forth, and he was appalled by the sight of me, he didst demand that mine chains be cut and I released. But the queen refused saying that the golden king hath no power in her realm, and that she wouldst do with her prisoners what she wouldst. Then to prove her point, that vile creature took a fork into her hand and with no warning plunged it into mine eye. Ripping it clear from mine skull. Then she stepped over mine trembling body to feast as if I was not there. Nothing more was said nor done until night didst fall. As I lay wallowing in despair I didst see the golden king perform great wonders with crystals that he drew from the air, and then suddenly a crystal escaped him to roll unseen betwixt the legs of the gathered rulers, into mine grasp. None seemed to have seen and the magic pulsed so strong enticing me to take it and satiate the gnawing hunger in mine soul. And it was glorious, verily I hath never felt such strength nor power until the lady Sarah did sing forth this realm. I used the power given me to part the veil, and vanish from sight, then I crept from the feast like a dog whipped. I fled the realm, and after years of flight I came upon the bog, and there I remained in shame determined to challenge all who wouldst seek to cross the bridge, until one would prove strong enough to finally end mine life. But none had the strength, not until the lady Sarah doth came forth, and gave me purpose once more..."

The mismatched eyes of his ruler were locked onto Didymus as recognition and realization dawned, making them burn scarlet at the centre: "That was you? That broken wretched creature was you? Well my lord you have most certainly proven yourself far more than a mere beast."

Inclining his head, Didymus felt the skin on his face grow hot as he blushed. Something that was mercifully hidden by his thick russet fur: "Verily mine liege thou art too generous. "

"No Didymus, I am not and you must call me Jareth. I am no longer anyone's king."

"Nay my liege": Shaking his head for emphasis Didymus simply stated: "Thou will ever be mine king, but I shall as said be honoured to count thee as a friend as well and call thee by thy given name."

"Good... "

Warm silence followed the quiet statement, and for a while the two men simply sat engrossed in their own thoughts as the crystals spun slowly. The food had lost its appeal as both men remembered past pain and hardship, and Jareth did not protest as the fox quietly collected their plates and with a simple pass of his huge hand turned them into a pitcher of steaming mulled wine and two stoneware goblets.

Cradling the wine, Didymus seemed the melt into the chair, as he stretched his immense legs out and savoured the wine with a loud satisfied sigh. This was good, hot wine, the heat of a fire even if there were no flames, and the company of a kindred spirit. And Didymus was utterly content to let the silence continue. But Jareth had other plans, as his eyes turned haunted once more, and his voice soft with uncertainty.

"Didymus when do the fears and dreams stop? Do they ever?"

Nursing his cup, Didymus sighed and gestured to the slowly spinning crystals: "Are those here because thou feareth fire? "

Nodding faintly Jareth seemed to shrink before his very eye, as if admitting that fire terrified him, made him somehow less. Even his voice was softer, with a note to it, that reminded Didymus of the way traumatized children spoke.

"Yes... I fear it, and it is foolish, because it cannot truly hurt me, but I still feel the pain of it, I feel how it should blacken my skin until it crumbles from my bones like flaking ash. I..."

Jareth's shoulders hunched as he curled up in the chair, with a faintly unfocused look in his eyes, as he continued speaking in a flat emotionless voice, ill fitting the multitude of emotions that filed across his pale features.

"They would hang me from my dislocated arms above a cursed fire pit, forcing me to keep my eyes open and unblinking for days on end, lest a fire should spring to life beneath me and engulf me until it nearly burned my mind from me... They would bind me to the rack, and once I had been pulled to the point where the slightest shudder would cause me to dislocate my joints they would light a fire below my back...

Yes I fear fire, like a babe I fear what cannot truly hurt me... how can I ever hope to be king again? How can I ever hope to save the realms or be a husband to Sarah? When I can barely stand to be in a room with so much as a candle flame. "

Tears rolled thick and heavy from Jareth's eyes, as he just sat staring at the cold fireplace. This was his king not some orphan child, nor a pup with a skinned knee, he should not treat him like one. Yet the pain Didymus saw wrecking the man before him, had him out of his seat and pulling the smaller trembling man into his huge arms, easily engulfing the sobbing king.

Sitting on the floor, Didymus held him like a child, as Jareth buried his face in the fur of his neck, and let his frayed emotions have free reign. It should have felt awkward to hold a man almost twice his age like this, stroking his hair and telling him that it would get better, it should have been strange. But instead it felt good to know that a man as formidable and powerful, trusted him enough to allow him to see the utter raw and broken mess that he was now.

Slowly the sobbing thinned out until there were no other sound than the soft chime of the crystals and the laboured rasp of Jareth's breath. Tensing slightly as he pulled himself out of Didymus lap, and onto the floor the once proud monarch avoided all eye contact as he wiped at the wetness with a shame filled scowl on his face.

"I would be in your debt if you would keep this... episode private. I.. I..."

His shoulders slumped as new tears trembled on the verge of spilling: "Goddess dammit all! I am stronger than this... I do not break because of memories. .. I..."

Curling in on himself again, Jareth shuddered violently and looked miserable as he fell silent again.

"Tis not weakness, tis indeed strength that allows thee to face thy pain. Jareth, there is no creature in this world or any other who couldst ever in good conscious call thee weak. The anguish that thou hast suffered... Nay I say unto thee that it is most verily a testament to thine strength that thou doth still dare to trust. Thou art strong, thou needs only refind thy confidence... "

A fresh shudder rippled through Jareth's frail form as he obviously had to force himself to met Didymus caring gaze, with hollow pleading eyes: "I do not feel strong. And I cannot do this alone... In truth I do not know whether I can ever be the man I was... I do not even know I if want to be him... I am lost Didymus, for three thousand five hundred years I have been under her sway, even now that I have regained the entire cash of my memories I cannot fully see the damage that, that vile beast of a woman has caused. She has used me.. in so many vile disgusting manners, all of them unforgivable. . But it is the lives that she had me take that has me hating her with a burning seething passion..."

"Good ": Gripping the pale man's hand, Didymus smiled as the bicolored eyes burned into him at the sudden physical contact, but the fox ignored it as he pushed on: "Verily I say to thee use it, hold onto that seething fire, and let its flames warm thy soul. It is thy fire and it cannot hurt thee, but it shall consume that vile hag and her cruel husband. Thou must nurse it, use it! Jareth listen to me and listen well! Thou doth not have to become the man that thou was, thou canst be any man that thou wouldst be."

Nodding slowly Jareth gnawed on the inside of his lower lip, as he considered the knights fevered words, he was right, Jareth knew that. But it was too soon, the pain too fresh, and his body still too weak. And yet the thought that he could somehow emerge from this whole again, changed, but whole, shone brightly in his battered and bruised mind. It would take time, but time he had now, as much as he needed, and...

Now he had something that he had never truly known that he needed before he had been given it.

A family.

People who cared for him, who had fought for him, who would stay by his side no matter what happened. Shuddering at the enormity of the thought Jareth barely registered the heat of the goblet as Didymus pressed it into his hand, and helped him off of the floor and back into the chair. Only when the large fox draped the fur over his trembling shoulders, did Jareth rouse himself. Sinking back into the warm fur, Jareth felt a small smile creep unto is face banishing some of the hollowness.

"Thank you lord Didymus I am in your debt... I.."

"Nay Jareth it is but the least that I could do. Tis I who are in your debt remember..."

"Then let us call ourselves even"

A huge smile burst forth on the fox's face, as he nodded and let himself sink into the opposite armchair: "Verily I doth agree, even we are."

"Good, now. Tell me what is the matter with Shiver I have not seen him all day, and yesterday he looked rather sad, but would not speak to me about it."

Refilling the half empty goblet, Didymus sighed dramatically: "He is not well, his wound doth persist to fester and hath yet once more caused a fierce fever to grip him. But that is not what pains him most. .. He and the young lady Lilly did for some unbeknownst reason fall out, and he is most affected by this. Verily not a word hath passed between them these past three days... I was in all truth preparing to speak to thee of this, that we might find a way to mend their broken relationship, if such it can be called."

The haunted shadows lessened as Jareth swirled his wine with a slight smile creasing his lips: "Well Shiver is not... experienced in the matters of the heart... of course I cannot speak for his missing years, but I would wager that Shiver has only loved once... And never physically. "

"Once sire? ": Gripping his goblet tightly Didymus leaned forward with a curious expression: "But he doth appear to embody all that goblin kind strive to attain both in form and spirit, hath he not had the attention of the fairer sex? "

Smirking as the last shadows seemed to leave him, Jareth nodded as he sipped cautiously from his own wine, he had already pushed the limits of his stomach but the wine filled him with a warm glow that dulled the clamouring thoughts to a bearable whisper: "Oh he has been and still is very much receiving the attention of the fairer sex. But his heart has been sealed since his first love died.. He was young only two hundred or so, and she no older. She was... "

"Yes? "

Sadness darkened Jareth's eyes as he sighed softly: "Her name was Lace, and she was a bloodthorn, who won her lance not long after Shiver assumed the responsibilities of knight commander, they quickly realized their mutual attraction, and barely a year passed before they were officially courting, but they were young, too young for marriage, and thus theirs was a slow courtship. But they were in true love, and it gave us all great joy to see their happiness. Then some twenty years into their courtship I was called to quell a rebellion in the night realm, and as my guard they followed me there. It was a small rebellion, lead by hobgoblins it should not have taken long to quell. And in truth it did not. But when the chaos of battle died down I witnessed the son of my heart die inside..."

" No.. "

" Yes" : Jareth confirmed solemnly: "Surrounded by a circle of dead rebels she lay, perfect in her dark beauty like a rose freshly shorn from its stem, and like that rose dead. "

Unshed tears of old grief glistened in Jareth's eyes as he blinked, stubbornly refusing to shed them as he continued his tale of heartache.

"Shiver was devastated, we had to hold him back, or he would have sealed himself in her tomb. For days he refused to eat or drink, he did not sleep either, he merely sat by her grave holding her blood stained cloak."

"And by what means dids't thou rouse him back to life. "

Smiling sadly, Jareth looked at the fireplace with a dark longing as his hand rose and a single flawless crystal formed at his fingertips: "We did not... It was a challenge of his leadership, that did so. A knight known as Gaspar challenged him for the role of Knight commander. He was a hedge knight, proud and well known for his prowess. It was Sir Garouf who delivered the challenge, I was there with Shiver when he came. Shiver simply nodded, got up and between two strides he was fully armoured and ready as he strode to meet the challenge.

Letting the crystal float in the air before him, Jareth shuddered as he sent it hurtling into the softly clinging crystal, causing them to burst into flames that filled the fireplace and cast it's heat and light upon the two seated in front of it. For a few seconds the two sat in silence, then as the haunted light in Jareth eyes seemed to lessen, he picked up the tale once more.

"He did not even bother to call his mount. And I believe that deep down he desired for Gaspar to kill him. Yet, when Gaspar attacked, Shiver waited until the very last second before sidestepping and cleaving his blade through the neck of Gaspar's mount killing it on the spot. And causing Gaspar to be caught beneath the weight of his dead mount, crushing his legs, then Shiver knelt beside the fallen knight, and what words they spoke no one will ever know, as Shiver ended the conversation by running his oath blade through Gaspar's neck, decapitating him in one swift stroke... Then he rose, and told Gaspar's squire to take the body away and bury it with all honour. It was not just a knight who died that day, a part of Shiver did too. Not that he would let anyone see this, no he would smile and jest and be as he had been, but, I saw it in his eyes whenever her name was mentioned. "

Nodding grimly, Didymus said nothing, but it was clear that he agreed wholeheartedly with the actions of the young knight, and understood the grief.

"He is my son in all but blood, and his pain that day nearly broke my heart.. So to know that he has opened his heart again fills me with joy. Now tell me what you know of this and let us find a way to mend their stubborn hearts."

"If we can ": The fox mumbled softly.

Early evenings silver light gave way to the darkness of night, as the fox and the king sat talking and scheming. What started with trying to iron out the knots in Shiver and Lilly's love life soon evolved into a quiet conversation between two old warrior's as they swapped tales of better days, and great battles.