Dear Fanfiction Writers

by SideshowJazz1

The characters of Total Drama have been cruising through the archive of stories about them recently, and they're rather...interested in those who write about them. So they're going to do a bit of their own writing - to us, to say what they want written and not written about them! Pretty much a side project written for laughs. R&R!

2. Ezekiel's Letter

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I'm not sure at all what to say here. I mean, I probably should say thank you to a great many of you, but there are also a lot of you who completely ignore me!

Okay, I guess I'll say thank you first. Now that I've recovered from my feral phase, I am pleased to see that so many of you supported me at the time and gave me sympathy. I found a surprising amount of stories where you made me come close to winning Total Drama. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

As for the rest of you...I think you're being pretty unfair. I only said that boys were stronger than girls once. To be fair, I didn't know any girls. I was just saying what my dad had always told me, about protecting the women. But everyone else has been holding it against me ever since. I know I was wrong now! I'm sorry!

Bitterly regretting his first mistake,

Ezekiel

I know I said I wasn't going to put any notes in apart from the first one, but I had such a great reaction from reviewers I will, although sorry, I don't want to write all the names down as I do in my bigger stories. I just want to make it clear that when characters ask to have more written about them, that's not my opinion. And I don't like stories where Ezekiel wins – I just don't think it's real. So if anyone really thinks this is just me...well, yeah, it is. But I'm stating the opinions the characters appear to have, not mine. If they happen to coincide, whatever.

Everyone else who said lovely things, thank you, especially to two of my most loyal reviewers (you know who you are).