"You were right, Castle." Kate says over half a mouth full of food as she reaches down to her leg for her napkin. Rick smirks over at her while he takes another piece of bell pepper on his fork. "This guy is a genius."
"So, you liked it?" He asks, popping the pepper in his mouth.
Kate breathes a chuckle and reaches for her wine glass, feeling her phone vibrate next to her arm inside her clutch purse again. "I normally don't like capers, but..." she says and takes the last sip of wine to down the rest of the chicken piccata Leo had made her. She watches Rick finish the vegetables left from his steak pizzaiola and absent-mindedly snaps open her purse to pull her phone out. She scoffs loudly and snaps the purse closed, pushing it away and leaning back heavily.
"Who keeps calling you?" Rick asks, lifting his napkin to wipe his mouth. "That's the second time."
"It was Ryan." She sighs, not wanting to deal with anything from her old life. Right now, she'd rather not deal with anything outside of this room. She's been on dates before in her life, and she's been out to dinner with him a number of times after they would close a case. But now, admitting to herself how she feels about him, she doesn't want anything to bother them, to come between them. She just wants to be here with him.
Rick senses her impatient shift in mood as she sets her empty wine glass back down to the table with a heavy sigh. The night has been going fantastically so far, but with her phone still ringing, and with her having no obligation to answer it now, all it is is an invasion on their night out together. He likes Ryan and Esposito, considers them to be some of the only true friends he's ever had, despite their using him for Knicks or Giants tickets every once in a while. He knew he could always count on them to actually have his back if the chips were ever down.
He can't really tell what she's thinking, but one thing he can tell from the sad darkness starting to seep into her features as she pinches the stem of her empty wine glass again and leans back in her chair is that she wants to be drawn away from it.
He promised her they would talk about more than just them making love last night. He wanted to talk about everything, lay it all out for her. Do the one thing he's never done with anyone else. When standing on the edge of this cliff face, he's always backed off. This time, he wants to trust her enough to take the dive completely. He's never done it because he knows the insecurity and vulnerability he plays off and hides behind a confident smile and clever wit. It was her that got him to take himself deeper than that. It was her that taught him that he could be more than that.
The only thing either of them can hear is the soft music reminiscent of the Italian countryside, aside from the soft lull of the people outside the private lounge. When his ears remind him of the music, he gets the idea and is pushing his plate forward and standing up without a second thought. Kate looks up from her empty plate and watches as he stands off to the left side of the table in a cool fashion, looks down at her with a soft smirk and a softness in his eyes that seem to twinkle with the candle light in the room, turns to her, and extends his left hand to her.
Kate looks up at him, seeing his palm face up, silently asking her to stand. Her eyes flick up to him as a smile splits across her face. "You want to dance?" She asks, barely able to get the words out over her smile.
"Actually, in the spirit of honesty," he starts in a low, husky voice, "I want you to dance. I'm just looking for an excuse to hold on to you for a couple of minutes."
Her heart soars as his eyes seem to draw her in. Taking her napkin off her lap, her legs feel weak when she stands. She reaches for his hand before she's fully on her feet and he's quick to start tugging her in. She gets to her feet and he tugs on her hand and gently pulls her in but she falls into him gracefully, draping her arm over his right shoulder and leaning into him while his arm wraps around her waist, his eyes sparkling as they look into her's.
Her body tingles with butterflies as she feels herself pulled against him, a smile playing at her lips that won't go away. And after a long moment listening to the soft beat of the melody playing through the speakers, they start to dip and sway gently with the music. Staring into each other's eyes, she can, for once, feel the connection between them. She knows she's felt this before when catching his eyes like this, but for the first time, she's embracing it, letting it overtake her. Kate holds his gaze as she sways them back and forth, letting his eyes make her feel coveted, longed for, admired... even loved.
His eyes have always had that effect on her.
Kate hugs his right shoulder that has her arm draped over it and gives his hand a light squeeze. "I've had a really nice time tonight, Castle."
His eyes narrow a bit. "And to think," he starts, taking a pause to take in her beautiful features, "a couple days ago, I was lost in the pits of my own misery."
She feels her smile want to press back onto her face in pride. She accepts the compliment, that she was what brought him back, and lets her heart swell. She can feel herself melt into him, let him take on more and more of her weight with each sway she leads them on, never breaking his gaze until her mind starts nagging her. A compliment that she brought him out of his own misery, but why was he lost in it, to begin with. Did she really put that much doubt in his mind that afternoon that he thought what they had was that easy for her to walk away from?
Rick can pick up easily on her sudden pull into another mood as her features start to harden. "What's wrong?"
He's asking her in the same worried tone that he used last night. She takes her hand out of his grasp and drapes her other arm over his shoulder. "Why did you let Josh get to you like that?"
His heart turns to stone quickly in his chest, but still, inside he knows he can't shut himself out and smirk his way out of it like he normally would. He promised they would talk and he didn't make that promise just to get her to come to dinner with him. He meant it. She's been amazingly honest as opposed to her old ways and the only way he knows how to repay her is to be as honest with her as she has been with him. His eyes turn down and he tenses in her arms.
"It wasn't Josh, was it?" She asks, feeling him turn cold and deciding to give him an out. That earns her his eyes back and an arched brow of sadness. He didn't want to say it, she can tell. Because if it wasn't Josh, there's only one other person that could have caused it. "It was me, wasn't it?"
He takes in a strained breath and tightens his grip on her waist. "I'd like to think it was more me, actually."
"Castle," She says in a hushed voice, moving her arms around his neck to let him know she's not going anywhere, "I want you to tell me what happened."
Rick swallows thickly and gives her a nod, losing himself only for a second in the feel of her embrace. "The day you woke up in the hospital and I went to see you," he starts, looking up to her with dark eyes, "the only thing you could think about was getting back on the case."
She feels him freeze and they stop swaying, the music in the background disappearing in their minds.
"You'd just spent three weeks in a coma, had just gotten a bullet dug out of you because of what they did to you, hadn't even been awake for an hour and you were already wanting to go after them. And Josh and I didn't agree on much, but we were both surprised in that we were shocked that all you could talk about was the case... and continuing the investigation." He painfully says to her, even recalling the moment when he told her to take it slow and she snapped at him that day. "And we both agreed that it was my fault because I pushed you to investigate in the first place."
Her nails dig angrily into his shoulders in frustration. Whether it was Josh who convinced him or himself that lept down that rabbit hole, she's tired of people assuming she's not in charge of whatever decisions she makes. She can feel herself tensing in his arms and her heart speaks to her in that moment, telling her to correct herself. And in that moment, she looks back up to his guilt-ridden baby blue eyes and starts. "If I told you what made me walk away from it all, will you let me have my fair share of the blame?"
He silently gives her a nod, not trusting his own voice.
"I want to say it was a few weeks ago when I was still at my dad's cabin. He'd went home and left me there since I was back on my feet and all I had to do was heal when some guy showed up at my door. He was older, late sixties maybe, and he said he was a friend of Montgomery's and needed to talk. So, I let him in, turned and grabbed my dad's hunting shotgun out of the coat closet and pointed it at him."
Rick chuckles despite himself, imagining the face on the man when he saw her standing there with a shotgun to his face.
Kate's eyes drift down to his chest and she lets her arms fall back to being draped lazily over his shoulders. "I guess when Montgomery talked about making sure he ended things, he wasn't talking about making his stand in that hangar."
After she doesn't continue, Rick prods. "I don't understand, what was he talking about?"
Kate nods and the only thing she can recall from that night is the moment she can feel herself change. "He said he had a file on the guy behind everything that Montgomery had. From what he told me... Montgomery had been using it against them for years to protect me, promising to keep me off the investigation as much as he could as my captain, but-"
"But with Montgomery gone," Rick cuts her off, continuing for her, his conscience unwilling to let the words stay inside, "there wouldn't be anyone to release the file if they killed you."
"And no one there to keep me from the investigation either." She corrects him. "That's why Montgomery gave this guy instructions only to talk to you." She says to him, her eyes softening up to him with admiration.
Rick is taken aback as he shakes his head slightly. "Me?"
Kate nods slowly. "But since you were gone, he had to come to me directly and he said that I had a choice. It was either the case or my life. I answered with the first thing that came to my mind and I said that the case was my life." She can see Rick's eyes twinge with sadness as his arms want to snake further around her. "And you want to know what got me to see the truth?"
She waits for him to respond, and in a scratchy voice, he replies, "What?"
She smiles, "It was Sherlock."
His eyebrow knits, but his eyes remain shimmering with emotional honesty. "The bear?"
"He was sitting on the entertainment center facing me when I said it. And when I did, I looked over to him and I could hear you ask me... what happens when I close it? And that's when I realized that the case... even my job, was my whole life, and I had to ask myself just how much I was willing to sacrifice to actually close that case, and would my life even be worth living after that? So, I went back to work a few days later, thinking all I needed to do was just get back into the swing of things, but... when I found your chair gone..." She trails off, looking down and moving her arms to fold them in between their bodies, "I realized that it didn't matter if I sacrificed everything for my case and my job because it was going to take them from me either way."
Kate looks back up to him with glimmering eyes, enhanced by the flicker of the candlelight as she pets his chest.
"I've had a lot of things taken from me in my life because I've had to sacrifice them for my mother's murder and my job, but I'm not willing to sacrifice you."
Rick's never felt his heart pulled toward such a deep connection before in his life. In this moment, she could ask him anything and he'd be more truthful than he's ever been even with himself. She deserves nothing less.
"Now you know why I walked away." She says in a soft but confident tone and moves her arms to drape back over his shoulders lazily and starts to sway them back and forth again with the music. "Now I want to know why you really left."
His jaw clenches and he looks away from her gaze. "You want the prideful answer or the self-deprecating answer?"
"I want the truth." She said pointedly.
Rick swallows what emotions he can and gives her a stern nod. "I left because I'm not strong enough to watch you be with the wrong guy." He says, saying to her exactly what he told his father at his lowest.
Kate squeezes his shoulders and her brow arches sadly, looking into his vulnerable eyes.
"I'm sorry, Kate, but I can't be around you anymore if I don't at least get my shot at being with you."
"The wrong guy?" She asks, making his eyes turn down away from her in shame. "Rick, if you knew all this time that you were the right guy, why did you leave?"
"Because I was a coward." He says without a moment of pause. Kate's heart shrivels in her chest as she moves her arms around his neck again, making sure not to pull away as she feels him bearing his soul to her. His eyes are shimmering painfully and his grip on her waist is weak. For a moment, he looks away from her before he turns back. "I had a very lonely childhood, Kate."
She would ask him where he's going, but something about this moment, she can tell is one he's going to remember for the rest of his life regardless of how it turns out.
"My mother would be on stage four to five nights during the week, she'd have four or five performances on weekends while I was left in the care of... underpaid babysitters and off-duty stagehands. And I felt cursed because I was smart enough to know that that's not how it was supposed to be for a kid. My mother told me some fairy tale about meeting some man one night and loving him a lifetime's worth that night. The main reason why I'm so involved in Alexis' life is that I know what it's like to grow up without a father and I refused to put a child through what I went through."
"Rick, I..." She tries, shaking her head sadly, "how long have you been harboring this?"
Rick bats at his burning eyes but can't stop, knowing the dam is burst. "You want to know how I learned to shave?" He asks, his eyes faraway and shaded in darkness. "I had to watch shaving cream commercials." She can tell immediately that it's a memory that's still fresh and painful in his mind, not ever dealt with. "I had to skip school for three days because I was so embarrassed at the result." He admits, craning his neck in front of him.
Kate can't let this push her away. She wanted him to be honest and she got what she was after. He told her because she hopes that he trusts her with it. She can't betray that trust. With a soft hand, she reaches up and puts her hand on the back of his head, gently scratching his hair with her nails then soothing it over with her palm, letting him know she's still here and not going anywhere.
"I was in Rome," he starts again suddenly, looking back up to her, "almost a month and a half ago, in a museum when some guy came up to me." He says, the vulnerable pain gone and replaced with a faraway gaze. "He was about my height, my build, late sixties, mid-seventies at the most. He read me a quote from a book by Marcus Aurelius, then gave it to me and I read it."
"Who..." She starts, wondering what he's bringing it up for, "who was he?"
"Did you ever wonder why you had such an easy time finding me in Doolin?" Kate shakes her head, at a momentary loss for words. "It was my second day there when I was sitting down at the bench we sat on... when that same man approached me." Kate's breath gets caught in her throat, a piece wanting to put itself down into the puzzle in her mind. "He said his name was Jack... and that he was my father."
Kate turns cold in his arms, her blood freezing in her veins.
"We talked for nearly four days, and on the fifth... I went to that bench where I was meeting him and he wasn't there. He was gone." He says painfully, his voice starting to soil. "So... I turned around to go back to my room, walked back down the hill," he stops, snaking his arms around her waist, engulfing her completely, "and saw you."
The moment comes back into her mind in a flash; stepping out into the cold coastal wind, seeing him standing on that hill and running into his arms, hugging him tighter than she's ever hugged anyone in her life.
"And if there's one thing that man has taught me, my father or not, it's that I don't want people in my life that keep abandoning me. And when I saw you, I started to realize that I'm never going to find that person if I abandon her first."
A smile starts to brighten her face and her heart swells back in her chest, the connection she felt lost at this conversation returning ten-fold. "So, we're really giving this a shot? You and me?"
Rick smiles softly and fans his fingers out against her back. "Considering I just told you things I haven't even told my ex-wives or even my own mother..."
Kate smiles and snakes her arms fully around his neck, "Are you trying to guilt me into a relationship, Rick?" She jokes.
"Well, the dinner didn't seem to be working, so..." He trails off as she giggles silently. "And I've heard that people in a relationship often kiss after a date." He intices.
"We're still on the date, Castle." She says obviously.
"I'm not that patient." He answers even as his eyes darken with her's and she moves leans forward, capturing his lips in a hard, sensual kiss. Rick presses her into him as they both draw in air over each other's lips. It's not firey and wanting, just slow and passionate as their lips sit against each other. They each let out their held breath and slowly let their lips part after a long fifteen seconds. "I'll pay and then we can get out of here."
She smiles and nuzzles her nose against him. "I'm liking this date."
"And it isn't even over yet," his brow wags.
Reluctantly letting her leave his arms, Rick puts down two rather large bills down on the table and takes her hand, leading her out of their private room and through the still abuzz restaurant. "Hey, Ricky!" Leo calls from the doorway into the kitchen. They both smile, Kate moving herself to hang from his arm. "So, do I get compliments or what?"
"It was amazing, Leo." Ricky says, putting his free hand over his stomach.
"Yes, I loved it." Kate says, getting tangled up mostly in him as she smiles over to Leo.
"Ah, see? I get a compliment from one of New York's finest. You know, Ricky, you oughta bring her around her more often." Leo says and points over to Kate while grinning up at Rick.
"Count on it, Leo." Rick smiles.
"Anytime, Ricky. Hey, say hello to your mother for me, huh?" Leo says and lumbers back through the doorway into the kitchen with a wave of his hand.
Rick smiles at the host and leads her out the door. "You didn't mention that I'm not a cop anymore?"
"Not when law enforcement get a five percent discount." He says once the door to the restaurant closes behind him. Kate laughs and grabs onto his arm as she shoves herself against his side in jest, looking down to the sidewalk. She can't remember the last time a date had gone this well. "I hope I made up for leaving this morning." He continues as they walk down the sidewalk.
"I don't know." She says, twisting her face in feigned mischievousness. "I think I might have to sleep on it."
Rick laughs heartedly. "If you mean alone, this date didn't go at all like I'd hoped." Kate chuckles as they fall into step.
"Richard Castle?" A woman says in front of them in a stern voice.
They both look up to see a woman about Kate's height standing squared-shoulders a distance of about ten feet ahead of them, clad in pressed black slacks, a pale blue dress shirt and a black suit jacket, her blond hair worn straight into a tight, low ponytail. "Yes?"
The woman pulls back her jacket and flashes them a badge. "Detective Samantha Sharpe, put your hands behind your back, please." She demands while coming toward him and pulling out her cuffs.
"Wait, what? What for?" Rick starts.
Kate steps out of his grasp, "What's going on?" She asks as the detective grabs Rick's arm and spins him around with handcuffs in her other hand. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" She exclaims, moving to pull the woman off of him. She only makes it a single half-step forward before a body is putting itself between them.
"Whoa, Beckett!" She hears the voice of Esposito say.
"Richard Castle, you're under arrest for the murder of Cole Maddox." The detective says and clicks the handcuffs onto Rick's wrists as Kate watches helplessly, held back by the arms of Esposito as Ryan comes running out from between the cars from across the street. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say-"
"Let him go! What the hell is going on!?" She demands, pushing at Espo's arm that's holding her back.
"Beckett," Ryan starts, coming to stand in front of her with a deep concern etched in his brow, "we tried to call you to warn you, but you weren't answering."
"Of course, I didn't answer, Ryan. I'm on a date! Now, what the hell is going on!? Castle!" She yells with burning eyes as the detective closes the door of her cruiser on him.
A/N: Would have had this done yesterday, but I heard LeBron by Buckethead and had to spend the day learning how to play it. What'd you think of the twist? C: