Manhattan SVU, 16th Precinct, New York
Monday 3rd February 2016
9.06am

Olivia stared through her window out to the hustling bullpen. She had just introduced her team to their new colleague detective 3rd grade Sonny Carisi. He was good, Olivia had fought Elliot tooth and nail for him because she had liked his personality and believed he would make an excellent SVU Detective. He'd instantly connected with her team, and she believed he would be a great partner for Nick Amaro who seemed to be struggling at the moment, though for the time being Carisi would be Fin's partner while he learned the ropes and Nick would be Munch's while she would also take turns working with them in the field until she could hire another woman which is something one pp wanted her to do for the victims apparently which made her feel inadequate.

Elliot had a fantastic team too, he had two women and two men who all seemed to be a great fit for SVU. Weller, the first one they had interviewed who'd taken a shine to Elliot had been one person he'd hired. Of course, he told Olivia that she was way too young for him, that he would not even consider flirting with a subordinate but there was no denying it had made Olivia cross. Along with a Detectives Amanda Rollins, Samuel Andrews and Jax Stewart. Olivia had enjoyed helping Elliot choose his team and she had promised Elliot if he needed anything all he had to do was call.

Her responsibility now was to work on the cold cases from Bronx SVU that needed closing. It was a great way to help Carisi get his feet wet because there was little hope from victims and the cases weren't fresh, there was nothing horrifying to see only to hear and read about. However, they weren't having the best of luck with the cold cases so far and she could only hope that would turn around soon as the brass was leaning on her to get them done and get them done quickly. As she watched Fin approach her door she knew she needed to get out there and work with her team.

"Hey got a moment?" Fin asked poking his head around the door. Olivia signalled for him to come in with her head and made her way round to the back of her desk.

"What's up?" She asked, trying not to look and sound as exhausted as she was feeling.

"I think we need to go and re-interview this vic." Fin explained handing the manila file in his hand over to Olivia. "Something in her story doesn't add up."

"Fin it's been nearly a year since this girl was raped, her story will have changed some, hence why we are keeping her original statement as a part of our investigation." Olivia replied hoping he'd give her a little more to work with.

"I just think the time line is skewed, she's hiding something, vic's always hide something." He replied just wanting her to give him the go ahead to get on with the job.

"Fine, take Carisi." She replied handing the case file back over. "And report back to me what she says." She added as Fin turned on his heels. The door wasn't even closed behind her when her phone rang loudly around the office. She reached over and picked it up looking at the caller idea as her thumb automatically went for the answer button. When she saw it was Mathew Rockwell calling she hesitated. She'd have been lying if she said that she wasn't avoiding him since their date, as much as she'd enjoyed herself she felt she had a lot to process and didn't want him to be around too much while she did that. She also knew she couldn't avoid him forever.

"Captain Cragen." She answered hoping this wouldn't be as uncomfortable as she anticipated it to be.

Olivia. You've been avoiding me. Mathew teased playfully down the phone.

"I've been busy." Olivia replied trying to sound just as playful.

I know. Mathew replied softly, he didn't want to sound desperate but he had been disappointed to find that she was avoiding his calls. Your new detective settling in?

"He's already out on a case." Olivia chuckled, poor Carisi was being thrown in at the deep end for real. "I think he'll be just fine."

That's great to hear. How are you adjusting? Mathew pushed, he wanted Olivia to know that he was a safe person to open up to.

"Oh don't get me started I've got one pp up my ass at the moment about the fact that I didn't hire a woman. I picked the best out of what first appeared to be a rotten bunch but after interviewing them I can see why these offers were in line for a promotion." Olivia explained relaxing into a conversation with someone other than George and Dr Rosie who seemed to be the only real adult conversation she had been having and since they were both her therapists she was starting to feel like she was going crazy.

I'm glad to hear that, I mean I know from what you said before it's always tough finding the right fit for SVU. I hope he sticks around for a while for you. Anyway, I was calling to ask if you fancied going out this week some time, a movie or a meal? Olivia could hear the hope in Mathew's voice and she struggled not to sigh, she didn't feel ready for another date, she was still processing the last one in her head and having been working with Elliot over the last week she wasn't sure if she wanted things to progress with Mathew.

"I can't this week I'm afraid Mathew I have all my kids under one roof." Olivia replied, she'd never go out in the evening on a date and leave Eliza with her 7 children on her own, working was different and it was only for a few hours after school, an evening date for pleasure was a complete different idea and she didn't want to take advantage of her nanny.

That's fine I understand. If you want to let me know when you can and if you want to we'll do something? Mathew was pushing the ball into her court, he didn't want to be chasing someone who wasn't interested.

"That sounds great." Olivia replied. "It won't be till at least next week and will be dependent on what kind of work we have here." She explained further, not wanting to make it out that she wasn't completely interested but didn't want to give him too much hope either.

Ok well just text me and let me know, I have to go I have a meeting with Mayor. He was leaving the ball in her court and making a dash, Olivia struggled with that, she liked him chasing her and didn't know if she would even try and have another date with him with the ball in her court.

"I will, bye." Olivia said, ending the call before Mathew could even get another word in. She hadn't even put her phone back on the desk when it began ringing again, this time Elliot's ringtone filling her ears making her groan, their separation was never going to work if he was constantly communicating with her. "hello?" She answered, a lot less professional with her husband than the commissioner.

Hey Liv. Elliot was obviously grinning down the phone.

"Everything ok?" Olivia asked, her immediate thought that the school had called about one of the girls.

Everything is fine. I just wanted to see how your new detective was fitting in there. Elliot replied, in other words, he was just calling to chit chat.

"He's already out on a case for you." Olivia replied trying not to show her annoyance in her voice. She didn't want to chit chat with Elliot, she wanted this trial separation to have the opportunity to work but he wasn't giving it a chance.

That's good. Elliot was smiling and wasn't going to take a hint that she wasn't in the mood to chat. I think I made a good team, they're already looking over the first case I chose for them from the cold cases.

"You chose a specific case?" Olivia asked, it was weird to think Elliot was starting his Captaincy with a team of absolute rookies. "Why?"

Well I went through the pile of cold cases, chose the heaviest one with the most people involved, throw them in at the very deep-end to learn how bad it can be and how much work there can be. I mean this will literally tell me if they have what it takes. Elliot explained, enjoying having someone to bounce his thoughts off of.

"I can see how that would work but be careful that you don't over do it and scare them off." Olivia chuckled, she did agree with how Elliot was doing it having four new rookies to train on his own was not going to be easy but he clearly was rising to the challenge.

I was thinking, fancy having dinner this Sunday, I could come over and have a big dinner with you and the kids? Elliot spoke quickly, it was clear to Olivia that this was the real reason for the call.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Olivia replied, hoping to mask any sadness from her voice. "El…"

Don't worry about it, it was a silly thought. Elliot said hurriedly not letting Olivia explain her reason. I'll talk to you soon, bye.

He was gone just like that, she wasn't given the opportunity to explain her reason for saying no. It wasn't that she didn't want to, her heart had almost leapt out of her chest when he'd asked but she knew if they had any hope of reconciliation they had to give this separation a real attempt otherwise it would be futile and a few months from now they would be back in the exact same position as they had been before the separation and that was pointless.

Knowing she had nothing to do until Fin and Carisi came back from re-interviewing their vic, Olivia pulled out the brand new journal she had bought in order to follow George's advice and keep a mood journal. She'd already been scribbling in it and it broke her heart every time she put something in it, she was filling it with every incident where she was snappy and short tempered and impatient with her children and with each new addition she realised she had to hope that this would work, she couldn't go on like this anymore, she hated herself for the pain she was inflicting on her children.

Melissa had even started calling her out on it, asking her why she was short tempered and sticking up for her younger siblings which seemed to frustrate Olivia even more. She had wondered whether it would be a good idea to have George speak to her, to explain that Olivia was suffering with Post-Partum depression but then she wasn't sure if she wanted her daughter to know that she was weak, that she had failed at being a mom again and that she was struggling.

She filled in the incidents from that morning, where she had shouted at Lexi and Lili for dawdling while getting ready for school, where she'd told Nicole off for not eating her breakfast fast enough and walked out of the room on Baby George having a whine about something or other and she didn't feel like she could deal with it. Guilt ate away at her. George Huang had upped her dosage of anti-depressants because it was clear to him that the dosage she had been on wasn't working for her and now she prayed that the higher dosage would work and help her along with the therapy she was having, she was desperate to be a better mom and this was the only hope she had.