Stabler Household, Manhattan, New York
Friday 7th February 2016
6.33pm

Elliot looked at Melissa and Nicole as they ate. He couldn't believe that Melissa had agreed to come and have the weekend with him which also meant that Nichole came too. He had been devastated when they'd rejected him, he knew he had no rights to them but he'd bought them up and loved them as if they were his own. He couldn't imagine that they felt any less for him than for Olivia either but the way they had rejected him when Olivia and he had agreed to separate made him doubt how much they loved him.

"Dad you don't need to stare we're not going anywhere." Melissa said still looking at her dinner.

"Sorry, I'm just so happy you've come to stay with me. I've missed you both." He replied accepting a smile from Nikki who was making a load of mess with her pasta.

"I don't know yet if I've done it just to get away from Mom." Melissa replied quietly, she didn't want to hurt Elliot but she needed to tell him what was going on with Olivia and at thirteen years old she didn't really know how to open up.

"What's wrong with your Mom?" Elliot asked, ignoring the hurt he felt at her words for the concern he had for Olivia.

"She's in a bad way Dad…" Melissa looked from her food at him. "But I don't think we should talk about it her." She said her eyes flickering to Nikki. She didn't want Nikki to get upset or worried about Olivia but she was extremely worried and she needed Elliot's help to deal with it.

"Nikki are you done?" Elliot asked seeing that she had started licking the bowl. Nikki just nodded and placed her bowl down and dropped her spoon with a clatter. "Then go play for half hour while Daddy and Melissa talk. Then I'll come run you a bath."

Nikki didn't need to be told twice and happily skipped off knowing she was getting an extra play time, her dad would otherwise have her in bath and bed now dinner was eaten.

"Now tell me, what's going on with your mom?" He asked trying not to give away just how frightened he was to hear that Melissa was worried about Olivia.

"She's become a right bitch…Sorry" Melissa saw the look in Elliot's eye when she called her mother a bitch but it was the only word she could use to describe the way Olivia had been behaving. Elliot shook his head and Melissa proceeded to tell him all about the way Olivia had been, how short tempered she was even with baby George, how she always looked like she was about to either burst into tears or scream the house down. Elliot listened without saying a word. He knew Melissa needed to offload and the entire time his mind was racing. Was it because of him? Had he caused Olivia to go off the deep-end? Was there any coming back from this or had his wife changed beyond recognition and nothing anyone did could bring her back? He had a million questions that he knew he couldn't voice to Melissa.

"I'm glad we could come here Dad, I didn't mean what I said about just escaping Mom's temper because truth is I wanted to see you and I know Nicole misses you so much and it just seemed right to come to stay with you. I'm sorry I said all those hurtful things." Melissa wiped away at the tears that ran down her cheeks. Elliot could see that his little girl was hurt beyond anything he could imagine. She'd had to endure so much, Olivia and him fighting and the separation was just the beginning. He reached out to her and just as his little girl always had done in the past she climbed onto his lap to be comforted.

"I'm sorry things have become so shit." He said to her, not caring about the usual no swearing in front of the kids thing. Melissa had had to grow up so fast since her grandparents death and he knew she deserved to be treated with respect for that. "I wish I could say things are going to get better but I don't know if that's true."

"Have you and Mom been talking?" Melissa asked feeling that the least she deserved was to know how things had been going between her parents when she wasn't around.

"Only about you kids and work," He replied honestly. "She won't let me talk about us."

"That's shit." Melissa replied making Elliot chuckle, maybe he shouldn't have used the word first, he couldn't exactly chastise her for it.

"Don't let your mother hear you use that word." He added as an afterthought.

"I'm really worried about her though Dad, I mean she's been through hell hasn't she and I don't know if she's coping. I'm scared we'll lose her like grandpa." The last bit was just a whisper and it shook Elliot to the core.

"Has she been drinking?" He asked trying to mask the fear he felt in her voice.

"There's an empty bottle of wine in the kitchen every night almost." Melissa replied knowing Elliot needed to know.

The anger that coursed through Elliot's body caused him to shake, Melissa didn't recognise it thankfully. He knew he now had no choice but to confront his wife, she couldn't be drinking and taking care of the kids and how dare she drink when she knew the consequences of doing so, she'd lost her birth mother and her adoptive father to drink and now she was doing the same… maybe it was like mother like daughter except he could rationalise with Serena Benson's drinking, he couldn't do the same with Olivia.

.

Luigi's Restaurant, Manhattan, New York
Friday 7th February 2016
9.52pm

Olivia didn't know why she'd done it, but she had left Dr Rosie's office a couple of days previously and invited Mathew out for another date. She knew it wasn't a good idea, she knew she was stringing him along for the time being because she would have to admit to him soon that she was going to ask Elliot to go into couple's therapy to see if they were meant to be together or apart but the bottom line was she liked Mathew's company and she needed friends right now. However, she'd already decided that she would be honest with him tonight.

"Mathew…" Olivia started before rubbing her lips together. It had been such a wonderful evening so far and she knew she was about to put a dampener on it.

"What is it Olivia?" He asked, knowing something was going through her mind and wanting her to be open with him.

"If I… If I were to tell you something that couldn't get back to my superiors…" She stopped herself again, she didn't know how she was supposed to be honest with him when he technically was one of her superior officers.

"Ah, that could put me in a difficult spot… depending what it is of course…" Mathew could see Olivia wanted to tell him something but he didn't want to mislead her. "I mean, if it was something illegal…dangerous…then I would probably have to say something. If it is personal about you and doesn't put anyone at risk… well your secret would be safe with me." He said the last bit sincerely wanting her to know that if it was about her personally then she could trust him. He wanted her to trust him so much.

"It would normally require garden leave…" She said hinting as to what it could be. "…but wouldn't cost me my job or put me in jail." She laughed at her joke, she had to try and make it lighter.

"Ill health?" He queried knowing that was the only thing else it really could be. Olivia nodded softly causing him to worry more. "I won't say a word." He breathed, even if he had to he wouldn't as the worry started burning inside him.

"I have postpartum depression." She said quickly her eyes looking at her wine glass rather than at her date. She failed to see the relief that flooded Mathew, he was expecting her to say cancer or similar. "It's bad." She whispered trying and failing to mask her shame.

"Olivia…" He reached across the table and took her hand which forced her to look at him. "That doesn't make me think any less of you." He said trying to be sympathetic.

"What I say next may change your mind." She replied nervously. "Mathew, I don't know which way is up right now and I fear I may have separated from my husband under this cloud. I don't know what the future holds for me right now but what I do know is I have to focus on me and getting well for my children." She hoped he wouldn't hate her because she knew he now had power over her knowing that she had postpartum and hadn't declared it to the higher ups.

"I understand." He said softly, hoping Olivia would believe him. "and that's ok." He reassured her, his eyes trying their best to communicate his sincerity.

"You do?" She was very surprised at his reaction as she had imagined every worst case scenario.

"God yes," He smiled softly. "Listen, Olivia, there are no expectations here. I enjoy being in your company and if you want to press pause, that's ok. I'm not going to pressurise you into anything and if anything more happens it has to be because you want it to happen."

"I have been advised to seek couples' therapy when I start getting better from the postpartum." Olivia averted her gaze once more, she didn't want to hurt Mathew but it would be worse for both of them in the long run if he felt like he'd been strung along or used.

"That's a good idea." Mathew replied again surprising Olivia. "Listen Olivia, you love your husband, I get that. You'll probably never stop loving him either because he's the father of your children. Therapy doesn't necessarily mean you'll get back together, it may reaffirm that your relationship has run its course but I honestly think not doing it will always leave that what if over your head… I honestly think that what you're doing is sensible and I'm so grateful to you for being so honest with me."

Olivia was dumbstruck. How had she met this incredibly honest and sincere human being at one of the lowest points in her life, she didn't deserve his kindness.

"Just don't shut me out?" He asked nervously. "I don't know if we have something or if we will ever have something but I enjoy your company, let me be a friend even if nothing else?"

Olivia couldn't stop the tears from falling. Mathew stood up and walked round to her, he knelt beside her and stroked her face as she desperately wiped at her cheeks trying to stop herself crying but she was failing miserably. It was like someone had opened the taps and she'd need to get the tool box out to close them. She'd been warned this could happen, however she hadn't expected it to happen like this, in a romantic restaurant with her date who in comparison to most in her life she barely knew.

"Let me get the cheque and get you home." He said quietly knowing that Olivia was trying to control her emotions but for some reason failing, she was just grateful he was compassionate enough to understand.

As he returned with her coat she smiled sadly, he was too good to be true and yet she had possibly destroyed any hope of a relationship with him tonight as she admitted she was going to go to couples' therapy with Elliot.

"You would have been good at SVU you know." Olivia said quietly as soon as they were comfortably sat in a cab, the tears were still dripping down her cheeks but not quite at the same speed as they had been at the restaurant. "You're so understanding… I'm sorry this is not how I planned to end tonight." She chuckled sadly.

"How did you plan to end tonight?" He asked thinking that she'd just given him another way into her soul.

"I'd imagined you blowing up at me…" She looked away ashamed, she didn't want him to think bad of her but she was admitting to thinking bad of him and she knew that would hurt. He chuckled lightly.

"Just goes to show that we don't really know each other very well yet." He replied. She just shook her head softly, she needed George Huang right now because the more time she spent with Mathew the less sense everything was making.