Chapter Two
Relics
The high-pitched sound of birdsongs pulled Bella into a semi-conscious state. Her limbs felt light and incredibly fine for someone who was used to waking up with a category five hangover. She carefully stretched her muscles, one at a time, trying to find any hidden pain or injury before moving her entire body upright. Her limbs felt rested and maybe a little stiff, but that faded within seconds of stretching.
Bella sat with her eyes closed, trying to remember her last few minutes of consciousness, sans drunken hallucinations of some beautiful stranger that ended her life. Bella's memories felt cloudy and hard to grasp, but she gathered that she must've passed out in the House of Dirt's lone alleyway looking for the Jacob hallucination. Even in her delusions he maintained his dickhead status. Mike or Eric most likely found her when they stepped out for a smoke, loaded her into the van, or brought her inside. Or something similarly helpful.
Finally prying her heavy lids open, Bella took in the sun filled living room before her. It was uncomfortably bright. Sun sensitivity was not unusual for the morning after a show, but the intensity of this particular non-hangover was causing every cell and nerve in her body to recoil from the rays. She'd developed a habit of keeping a pair of black sunglasses within arms reach for most of the tour. She pined for the embrace of a heavy blanket draped over her head or at least those large sunglasses that had mysteriously disappeared sometime in the past week.
Bella had been laid out on a well used black leather couch she recognized as tragic remains from her college days. A tiny, fleece throw blanket which was currently tangled around her pale legs had surely been tossed onto the couch from Jasper's bed as an afterthought. A television from the early two-thousands stood opposite her. Movies, games, and CDs filled the shelves around it. The variety and number of sports related video games led her to believe this was Jasper's humble abode.
She untangled the blanket, instantly noticing two white bandages expertly wrapped around her knees. A vague memory of falling on the gravel entered her mind, but Jasper must've tended to the wounds before tucking her in on the couch. She placed the pads of her fingertips on her covered knee caps, searching for injury. They felt normal, however.
Out of curiosity, Bella began hastily unwinding the gauze only to find two perfectly unmarred knees. She mentally high-fived herself and ceased inventory for the moment, thankful that her wounds had been superficial enough to heal overnight.
She threw the slightly bloody bandages aside and stood for the first time since the night before, her first few steps unsteady, like a newborn giraffe. Someone had carefully removed her well worn leather boots and set them neatly next to the couch along with her raggedy black backpack. The outside was dotted with pins from various bands and cities they'd visited on tour the past few years as Paper Dolls.
Jasper didn't appear to be anywhere in the small one bedroom apartment. The familiar sounds of early afternoon traffic floated in from an open window. Bella called out a few times, hoping to at least chat about how the night had ended, but quickly realized she was all alone. She could faintly hear a nearby neighbor running the water for a shower. She imagined the walls had to be paper thin for minimal sound to carried with such clarity.
Realizing that the previous evening's events were paranoia and drug induced, Bella wandered into the tiny kitchen looking for any kind of snack, hoping to quell the ravenous hunger clawing at her insides. Jasper always had an aversion to home cooking, well, at least cleaning up from the meal. A sink full of dishes could break the mightiest of Whitlock men, he always joked. She rifled through his cabinets, becoming more disappointed with each reveal. The most she found was a protein bar and a half eaten vanilla yogurt with the spoon still resting in the container. Both seemed to turn her stomach into fits of nausea and ignite a craving for something other than pickles or drugs. She couldn't quite tell what the craving was, only that it was thought consuming and causing a reoccurrence of her childhood bruxism.
Keen on the idea of leaving Jasper's place to reconnect with her friends, but certainly needing to clean up first, Bella headed into the cramped bathroom down the hall from the kitchen. She turned the water temperature all the way up to scorching and waited for the room to fill with warm steam before stripping out of her sweat caked clothes. The spray of the shower soothed her back muscles as she carefully scrubbed away a few weeks worth of tour grime. A single expensive looking purple bottle stood out amongst Jasper's generic, masculine bottles of Suave. The inside held a lavender scented body wash that had to belong to one of Jasper's friends. Even this typically inoffensive scent caused her stomach to roll.
Without a spare toothbrush in sight, she opted to rinse with mouthwash salvaged from the medicine cabinet. The taste was off, though. No longer minty and refreshing, the mouthwash must've gone bad sitting for a while. Jasper had never been one to pay attention to 'best by' date stamps, as exhibited by the two expired half gallons of two percent in his otherwise empty fridge.
Bella once again felt her stomach lurch the same way as before, causing her to expel the blue liquid from her mouth into the sink. The nausea didn't stop there. Heartburn and violent dry heaves overtook her hunched frame. She quickly switched from the sink to gripping the sides of the toilet. A regular occurrence for a person like Bella, she knew that whatever wasn't settling needed to go. With one last painful dry heave, Bella purged at least a pint of congealed blood and necrotic looking black tissue. Concern flooded her head, but concern didn't pay for urgent care bills. She flushed the toilet and limply dragged herself into the main room.
Bella's phone was most likely waterlogged in some New Mexico sewage treatment plant by now, so she wasn't sure where to go or who to call. However, Bella did find a sticky note with the words "SPARE KEY" in all caps, followed by Jasper's lazy signature and a small heart. Sure enough, a gold key sat folded up within the note. She pocketed the items and slipped out the door. She wandered through the young University District, the gang's old neighborhood. Her legs seemed to carry her with ease and her back never ached from the forty pound bag hanging from her shoulders. Bella was sure her hangover had run its course, allowing for a welcomed fresh start to the day.
She breathed deeply and could nearly identify the smell of someone mowing their lawn two blocks away. As well as the stale interior of a passing USPS truck that had seen better days. Red and orange leaves fell around her, the autumn palette appearing more vibrant than ever. The air was cool and damp, common for early October, but the temperature had little to no effect on her bare limbs. She felt giddy and altogether content as she traipsed the mostly empty streets of her first home away from home.
Thirty minutes into her solo excursion, Bella came across the band's red Dodge van parked in the same location as the previous night. An unmistakable relic from 1986. It was the only asset she owned, even though the cost had been split three ways, Eric and Mike lived on the honor system that Bella maintained the van exclusively.
Noticing Eric's sleepy face pressed against the passenger side window, she knocked three times. He stirred slightly, his breath fogging up the already frosty window. Eric's eyes briefly met with Bella's before checking for Mike in the driver's seat. The passenger door swung open a few seconds later, the sound of rusty metal causing Bella's inner ear slight discomfort. "What the fuck, dude? Are you alright? Why aren't you at Jasper's? He said you were dead to the world on the couch," Eric questioned. His words seemed to come all at once, all traces of sleep had left his features.
"I'm fine. No scrapes, no bruises. Minor blood, minor foul," she said, completing a small spin to showcase just how fine she was.
"Well, you weren't fine when Mike found you in the alleyway last night. Your knees were fucked and you had someone's blood all over you," Eric relaxed when he realized his friend was in good spirits and health, the tension between the two immediately dissipating. "I wonder what the other guy looks like."
A vague memory of some beautiful stranger's cold lips on Bella's throat popped into her head, but the lack of physical evidence was proof enough that she'd fabricated the entire encounter. "I'm sorry, dude. I barely remember passing out in the alley. I stepped out for some air and the next thing I know, I'm rummaging through Jasper's kitchen with a headache."
Eric's phone started to vibrate then. He held up his index finger to Bella, answering it immediately. "Hey babe, look—," he paused. Bella could hear Angela's small voice through the phone, she was upset. "No, Angie, listen. I didn't want to drive, babe. Mike and I crashed in the van because Bella got banged up pretty bad last—. No, babe, she's fine. It was nothing. I've got to run, send me your parent's address, okay? Love you, babe."
He listened about thirty seconds longer before pulling the phone away from his face. Releasing a deep sigh, he pressed the heel of his palms into his eye sockets. Bella humorously mimed the use of a whip. "I just made that worse," he laughed.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay with us at Angie's? At least until you find a place?" Eric asked, turning to face his bandmate once again.
"And intrude on you two lovebirds? Bella scoffed, imagining the horror of living with the young couple under the watchful eye of Mr. and Mrs. Weber. She cared for her favorite roommate's family, but at twenty four the Weber's doily covered spare bedroom didn't quite meet her needs.
Angela was the only daughter of two retired school teachers. The Weber family had a lot of love to give post retirement and had taken to doting on Angela, as well as Bella when her own mother's presence began to fade from her life. When they shared an apartment in college Angela's mother brought groceries monthly, random household items always appeared after visits, and Mrs. Weber was sure to bring generous presents during the holidays for both girls. The idea of staying with her friends wasn't altogether terrible after a little consideration, but Bella felt she needed her own space. A fresh start in Seattle away from all the Jacob Black bullshit.
"I'm not thrilled to be there either. I'd much rather stay on Jasper's couch, but Angie doesn't have a job yet…" Eric trailed off, looking Bella directly in the eye. "Are you sure you're okay? You're looking paler than usual, Casper." The back of Eric's hand was suddenly on Bella's forehead, feeling for signs of an elevated basal temperature. Her skin held a chill, but lacked the mask of sweat addicts experienced during withdrawal. "You're clammy as shit dude, get in the van. I'm amazed you've been outside this long." He grimaced, she felt different. The hair on the back of his neck prickled at the thought.
Bella shrugged off the suggestion. The cool breeze was pleasant and she didn't see any reason for her friend's concern. "I told you, like, six times. I'm fine." Precisely at the moment she finished her declaration of health, a strong gust of wind tore through the van's open passenger door. Bella felt an agonizing pain in her throat when the aroma of something floral and hearty and alive demanded the attention of all her visceral senses. Hypnotized and mentally thousands of miles away from her body, Bella zeroed in on the flushed skin of Eric's neck.
"Hey, Bella? Isabella, look at me. Can you hear me? Mike, her pupils are huge. Are you high right now?" Eric's voice was muted by the heady fog floating around her head. Entirely consuming her and drowning her. Her mouth flooded with bitter saliva. She panicked.
Before either of them could register what had transpired, Bella was frantically sprinting through a nearby alley in the general direction of Jasper's apartment.
Jasper found Bella curled up on the couch in the dark later in day. In his arms, Jasper held Bella's bass guitar and two white plastic bags containing a few groceries. Bella slowly peered up at her friend, forcing herself to remain in control of mind and body.
Jasper sighed. "Kid, I'm gonna go ahead and say it. We've got to get you some help," he chided, flicking on the living room light with his elbow. "Eric and Mike won't say shit. They don't want to fuck up the momentum you guys have." The items he held hit the floor with a thud. "You know what really fucks with momentum? Being six feet in the fucking dirt."
Bella flinched. "I'm not high," she whispered, knowing that Jasper would most likely ignore what she had to say anyway. "I mean, I tried to smoke to chill the fuck out but..." her voice drifted off when a string of profanities floated from the apartment next door. Her eyes floated back to Jasper, who seemed to be waiting for her to conclude her thought. "It didn't work."
Bella thought back to a few hours before when she'd bolted back into Jasper's apartment, breaking the lock off the door. She'd quickly rummaged through her backpack, looking for Eric's stash box and travel bowl. His medical grade weed had done nothing to ease the panic attack she was prisoner to. "Something happened to me last night- "
"I believe you." He took a few steps into the center of the room, causing Bella to sink further into her seat. His tone was dripping with angry sarcasm. "I believe you got high out of your fucking gourd and some lowlife decided to take advantage of that. I'm just glad we didn't have to call the cops. I'm glad you're mostly okay. The last thing House of Dirt needs is a reputation like this." She flinched at his words. Bella simply couldn't agree that she was okay.
Jasper sighed and collapsed on the couch next to her. Bella instinctively took a deep breath and held it, terrified by his proximity and what it may stir within her.
"I'm sorry. I know this was not your fault, Bells. I'm pissed off because you've dug such a deep hole and decided to drag us all down with you. You've got a long way to go."
Bella chuckled silently, "You're right."
The two friends sat in silence for a while contemplating their next move. Bella continued to hold her breath.
Unbeknownst to them, Jasper was absolutely right, but not for the reasons he'd alluded to within their conversation. Bella was beginning to realize this alternate meaning, much to her chagrin. She wasn't trying to embrace or even understand the changes taking place within her, but answers would at least allow her to sleep at night.