"No,," Jafar declared, crossing his bony arms like his word was law. "If the other Villains find out, we'll never be able to show our face in polite society again."
"She could help pay the debt off," Hook suggested, "she has to be making chests of gold with merchandise."
The front door swung open, and in hopped Facilier like a skeleton who was about to sell you on a used vacuum cleaner. "Shit went down, didn't it?" His grin couldn't get any wider.
"Don't make this worse than it has to be!" Jafar pointed a finger at the witch doctor, "Anyway, Pete's not going to let us work with a Hero on principle."
"He doesn't have to know," Facilier grinned, putting his briefcase down, "We could put her in disguise."
"And how did you know before we even told you?" Jafar inquired.
"You should know the Shadows love to talk to me," and he gave a wink to the sorcerer, who only rolled his eyes in response. "Plus," he continued. "This could be our one opportunity to corrupt a hapless young maiden into being our sex slave." He rubbed his hands greedily.
"I'm going to nix that idea in the bud," Hook spoke with authority, "and make you a counter-offer; Pete's debt still hangs over this house. Until it's gone, we can't move on without him capturing us and sell us into prostitution or whatever cruel idea he has. Now, what's the one thing a Hero has a Villain doesn't?"
"They always win in the end," The two others said in unison.
"If we get her to join us, we could drastically raise our chances of our jobs going successfully. We just can't let he know we're committing crimes."
"Going to be hard to keep it a secret." Jafar noted, "she's a Hero, after all,"
"Where is the girl at, anyway?" Facilier asked.
"In the other room, playing with Dobbie," Hook noted.
"Ooh, Man Rule 27 – Never let a girl play with your pet," Facilier exclaimed, "Pet's liable to betray you. I got stabbed by a frog just because some brunette I was dating at the time told him he was cute."
"To be fair I'd stab you if a beautiful wench told me I was cute," Hook responded. "Also you have the worse luck with frogs."
"True that," the witch doctor agreed, "Anyway, so we start her on small jobs; the ones that look least shifty. Even if that's all she does, she'd be making more money than when it was just us."
Jafar twisted his beard, "Good point, but we should wait until Frollo gets here."
"I'm here," Frollo spoke, walking through the door wearing a clown suit and adorned with a red wig and classic make-up. "and I think it's the most foolish idea you three have ever concocted."
"Don't act like I'm a part of this, Ronald Mcdonald!" Jafar cried.
"Too late; the wheels in your venomous eyes are beginning to turn. And at least Ronald can keep a job. " Frollo began to take the wig off, throwing it to the table. Or where the table would be if it was still there. He looked upon the sad, red wig on the ground. "Are we that poor that we sold our table?"
"No; Kairi took it out when she thought Dobbie was going to kill her," Hook answered.
A heavy sigh fell from the hoary-headed man. "I'm pretty sure my copy of "A Time to Kill" was on there. Is that gone too?"
"Probably, but it's an overrated book by an overrated author," Jafar replied. "Movie's better."
Frollo's shoulders fell into more into the floor, and at this rate were threatening to though the floor. "We can't have the girl. She's just going to make things even harder for us in the long run."
"I won't," came the determined voice of Kairi. She stood in the doorway, holding Dobbie like a small puppy. A little pink bow was adorned to its antennae. "I know I'm not much to you now but give me a chance and I'll prove myself to you."
Frollo groaned and looked at Hook, though the captain could hardly feel threatened when his accuser was wearing clown makeup. Still, he knew he was at a crossroads.
"Look lass...why us? Why," he beckoned to Jafar's apartment. "Why here?"
"Well," she thought for a moment, "I need a change of pace. I've lived my whole life doing what I was supposed to be doing and never asking if it was what I wanted to do. As a Hero and as a Princess of the Heart I'm supposed to be pure and perfect. But I never wanted to be that. I just wanted to be me. Like I was back on Destiny Island. Travel the world, make new friends. Experience what it means to be alive!"
Like on cue, a stream of light shined through the window and landed on her, making her appear as if a saint or angel.
Jafar looked over to Facilier. "Are you a actually tearing up?" he whispered.
"No, asshole." the witch doctor rubbed his eye, "I just took a ray of sunlight to the cornea!"
"Charming story and all," Hook spoke, shading his face from the radiance. "but we're thieves."
"Rogues," Frollo said.
"Swindlers," Jafar added.
"Prone to chasing children, sexual harassment, and burning large cities in an attempt to enslave beautiful gypsy women," Facilier topped off.
The three men looked at Facilier, who beamed with wicked pride.
"Regardless," Hook finished, "you're not cut out for this life...as it seems,"
Jafar and Frollo glared daggers at Hook.
"So, it's only fair as president of this crew that we offer you a chance to prove your worth."
Kairi burst into a smile, a smile so radiant it started to make the gray wallpaper look colorful.
"This is foolishness, Hook!" Frollo decried.
"No, this is democracy," Hook replied, "which is next to foolishness but above religion. Kairi," Hook began, "I vote to give you a chance to join us as our fifth crew member."
"And I second the motion," the witch doctor spoke up.
"Nay!" cried Frollo, "We are not making a sinner out of saint."
The three men looked to Jafar. He began to speak, and perhaps the syllables were starting to form. Just then, he looked at Kairi. Her blue eyes hit him like bolts of lightning. He felt like he'd been hit by a train made of cotton candy on a rail made of rainbows. This was not the work of an girl, but an angel hellbent on making the world a happier place.
Truly, true kindness lurked in that heart. A most despicable thing.
"Fuuuuuu-iiiiine. Let the brat prove herself!"
Frollo groaned. Hook shook Jafar's hand, Facilier shook Kairi's hand, and Dobbie was just happy the new master gave him a bow. Maybe happy; it's hard to tell. He doesn't have expressive facial features after all.