Dear Fanfiction Writers,
Why are you leaving me out of your stories? I mean, some of you aren't, but most of you are really not giving me enough spotlight in your fanfics. By the way, did you know my great-great-great aunt Evie invented fanfics? Before her, people had to come up with a whole original cast whenever they wanted to write.
Even when you put me in your fics, I always seem to be off first! I don't get what I'm doing wrong. I mean, there was that one when I got about halfway, but even then people didn't like me because in that version, I was lying about my family, which I'm totally not. My third cousin Jordan invented the art of lying. Before him, mind-reading was a common thing because everyone spoke their minds. I don't get why you think I'm making it all up. I just come from a really good family, okay? I can show you pictures, if you want. What else do I have to do, get a recorded voice confirming it?
Anyway, it's all true, so maybe now you guys can stop labelling me deluded and start giving attention to all the stories I have to tell – and writing them down! Please?
Honestly and pleadingly,
Staci