Dear Fanfiction Writers

by SideshowJazz1

The characters of Total Drama have been cruising through the archive of stories about them recently, and they're rather...interested in those who write about them. So they're going to do a bit of their own writing - to us, to say what they want written and not written about them! Pretty much a side project written for laughs. R&R!

34. Mike's Letter

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Okay, I've got a lot to say. You guys write about me so much, I barely even know where to start. I guess I'll start from the beginning.

Someone wrote a detailed biographical story about me. It was actually an entertaining read, but I have to tell you that they only have a few things right. First of all, it's true that Mal didn't start out as a tormentor. He was once a protector. It was only when I was twelve that he started taking control, and landed me in juvie. I developed my disorder when I was ten, and my little sister was killed in a car accident. She was my closest friend and my biggest confidant. My psychiatrist says that my personality split because I couldn't handle all the trauma and grief while I was still so young and it usually only happens to kids and teenagers. I can face what happened now, even though I still miss her, but the alternate personalities stay on. And no, they're not gone. They disappeared for a little while after All-Stars, but they're back now, and we've been able to come to a deal about when they come out and when they don't – and they're actually trying to resist their triggers. Mal seems to be gone for good right now, but I know that I need to watch out. If I ever have another head injury, I'll have to make sure that doesn't make him come out again.

Okay, moving on. I won't go into stories about Zoey and I, as I have no complaints. Those are actually my favourites. But then there's the other ones. I've noticed you have been writing less and less about Zoey with people other than me. I know some of you out there pair her with Duncan or Scott, or Cody, or worst of all, Mal. But there doesn't seem to be many of those left and I'm really glad.

But with that comes another trend. People seem to think I belong with...I think her name is Sammy or Samey or something? It's confusing. She's from the third cast. I've never met her, and she seemed okay on the show, but why do people want me to date her? Even if I broke up with Zoey, I've never met this girl, and I'm not sure she's my type anyway. Please, if you have to write shipping fics about me, please keep me with Zoey. And I think that's everything.

Me, myself, and I (and only from me),

Mike