Dear Fanfiction Writers,
This has totally gone far enough. Why are you guys not writing about me? Is it because I wasn't on Total Drama enough? You write about that weirdo who spouted lies all the time, and yet you don't write a word about me. And when you do, I just pick on everyone and no one likes me! I don't get it – if I picked on everyone, would I be cheer captain at school? Would I have tons of friends and have had five boyfriends?
No, I wouldn't have! I only pick on people who deserve it – and I'm sick of you people saying the treatment I give people aren't deserved. And something else- you guys need to check your spelling. You keep writing my sister's name wrong. I mean, "Sammy"? Really? It's "Samey"! Get it right! Look, I know she told you her name is Sammy, but she obviously just didn't look at her birth certificate after I changed it. Look, she's seventeen minutes younger than me, it's just accuracy! I know I'm mean to her, but you haven't seen her off the show! She's not the victim you all seem to think she is! So just STOP WRITING ABOUT HER AS A SWEETHEART! I've lived with her for sixteen years, so I know she's not.
Also...just something you might want to know to add to your stories...we do have fun together sometimes. I'm not joking. When we turned sixteen last year, we got our first credit cards and went shopping together, and we had so much fun getting twin outfits. I mean, I chose them all, but we actually had a good time. It's rare that ever happens, but we both enjoyed it. I mean it. Samey even said she had fun. It's just...well, you know, she's usually a LOT harder to get along with. So yeah, write about that if you want. But mostly, stop deluding yourselves and write about me as I am – the beauty, brains and popularity!
Stop being Samey-supporters,
Amy