8. Worlds Collide
The Jolly Roger
In Hook's quarters the terrified Urusula struggled to free herself from the ropes that bound her legs and arms to the bedposts as her captor poured himself a glass of rum. He leaned over and stroked her thigh, his touch making her cringe. "You were the finest woman I've had in all the realms. Not every man can say he's had a goddess."
"This will be your LAST time," she snarled. "When I am freed I shall relish tearing the skin from your bones."
"Ahh but the Court has no intentions on freeing you, does it? We control the seas as long as you remain bound in human form love."
"If you are so beloved by the Brethren, tell me: why were you not elected to the Court? Because they are pirates with honor and YOU Killian Jones, have no honor!"
"It was that bastard Sparrow and the bitch Elizabeth that kept me from taking my rightful place as the Pirate Lord. Well when we sink the Pearl and the Dutchman in the locker, I WILL be the Pirate Lord."
Ursula laughed harshly. "You delude yourself. The other members of the Court would not accept you."
"They will as long as I have you at my disposal!" He began tearing at her skirts. The sea goddess screamed in terror and rage praying that her cries would reach the ears of her beloved father and he would send the Jolly Roger and its captain to the Locker where they belonged.
Seconds later the cabin door burst into flame and Rumple entered the room, a sword in his hands, a sword that closely resembled the dagger that had once been the bane of his existence yet instead of having his name carved into the blade, the only symbols that were present were a spinning wheel in flames.
"Crocodile," Hook sneered. "I've been waiting a long time for this." He reached for his own sword. "And I'm going to take your head, your hand and your heart as my trophies!"
Rumple threw back his head and laughed. "You've always been more talk than action dearie! Get your affairs in order...we duel. NOW!"
"No magic?" Hook arched an eyebrow. "That's unusual for you. You can't win a battle without using it."
"Oh can't I?" He raised the sword. "On the deck, pirate!" He gestured and the ropes binding Ursula vanished. "That is the only time I will be using magic." He glanced over at the goddess. "I am sorry I could not get here."
"You came just in time, old friend. And now it is time for me to repay my debt to you." She gave Rumple a kiss on his cheek. "Kick his pox ridden arse!"
The two men went out onto the deck, their eyes meeting over their crossed blades. In his mind's eye Hook could see the man he'd faced years ago, the terrified, crippled spinner who nearly wet himself in the face of the man who had taken his wife, not the powerful sorcerer that nearly put an end to him sometime later.
Juno Beach, Florida
"...And he will become the blade forged from the fires of his past conquered," Rumplestiltskin Strogoff murmured. "This seems to be a mistake we Rumples tend to make in all the realms. Not ridding ourselves of that menace sooner. But this is the first test he will endure to prove he is worthy to carry the burden of the Guardian; to defeat Hook without magic in a duel and then he will go on to the final test and face my aunt."
"Will he have to face her as a mortal, as you did with your father...with Pan?" Belle inquired softly.
"No sweetheart. He is no longer the Dark One. I was and that is why I had to face my father as mortal. He will need to face Zorinda as his true self, the great-grandson of Loki."
"Oh! Is Loki as handsome as they say?"
"Yes," Rumple grumbled. "Now ye'll be telling me ye wanna meet him."
"I do but not to worry. I don't plan on running away with him or stripping him naked. I only do that with you."
"Well ye willna be able to do that until I get out of this bloody hospital."
"Then you need to get better Rumplestiltskin Strogoff-Gold because I hate sleeping in a cold bed!" She glanced up at the wall and conjured a box of popcorn. "Forgive me if I enjoy seeing Mr. Gold wipe the deck with that piece of scum."
He laughed. "This is the most magic you've used in months."
"True but I'm too lazy to go buy some." She conjured a bowl of applesauce.
"Belle!" he whined.
"You are sticking to your diet, Rumfather!"
"Yes Don Belle!" he giggled.
They lay back against the pillows and watched the scene unfold as if they were in the theater.
The Haunted Forest - Oz
He would not be able to take back the years of loneliness his great-grandson had endured but Loki was determined to make up for as much of that time as he could with ALL his great-grandchildren once that pest Zorinda was disposed of. Robert's null mage field was one of the strongest he'd ever encountered but it had proven to be a disadvantage to their allies. Now he could travel through the realms without fear of harming those that were his allies for Loki had given him the ability to determine whether a mage served the darkness or the light simply by seeing into their souls. He also entertained the young man with stories of his mischief that were now the stuff of legends. Robert surprised him by telling him that he'd heard of some of them.
"Oh I heard about the near riot you caused when you showed up in the States. Reminded me of how crazy women used to go over Elvis, the Beatles and Ol Blue Eyes."
Loki grinned. "Well, some did mistake me for a rock star. I have no idea which one but it didn't really matter. All they wanted to do was grab a piece of me. Sigyn would have cursed their hands off so I had to act pretty quickly to avoid that."
"Did you ever glamour yourself as Elvis?"
"Oh once or twice. Just for laughs. That's why they claim they've seen him all over."
"I figured that was you! Go to Vegas...you can blend in easier. They're everywhere!"
Loki giggled. "Maybe I will. Of course, Sigyn will have to come with me. I guess I can leave our daughter Astra with my parents. Though Sig doesn't like to since she's only two."
"That's going to take some getting used to...having a great-aunt that's barely out of diapers."
Part of him longed to have a wife and children of his own but he was uncertain that he would find anyone at his age. And it would take a strong woman to be willing to love a man with enough baggage to fill two Pentagons.
"Umm . . . yes. She was a surprise. To us, that is. Not the Norns. I'm sure those three are now laughing their collective asses off at us."
"Yep the big bad God of Mischief with a mini me that will probably give you a run for the money."
"You should have heard my son Vali. He wanted to know how the Hel the two of us couldn't figure out how to prevent pregnancy at our age. His mother hit him over the head with her staff for that little comment." Loki laughed. "And yes, she already knows how to talk her way out of trouble."
Robert chuckled. "I see a gray hair sprouting!"
"Liar! I'm a god. My hair only turns gray when I want it to. So, how do you feel about meeting the rest of your immortal family?"
"I'm nervous...but I'm ready. The girls and the monkeys have probably finished the witch off by now and are picking their teeth with her bones."
Sure enough that is what some of them were doing but two unexpected guests had suddenly appeared at their banquet.
Lilly clenched her right hand into a fist and pressed it against her left shoulder, kneeling before the man who had been one of her dearest friends in her former life. "Hello Loki. It has been a long time."
Archie stood at her side, his mind still trying to process all that occured in the last twenty-four hours. Everything seemed normal when they got on the plane and flew to Pennsylvania for their honeymoon but a frantic phone call from Victor shortly after they were checked in changed everything.
"We'll catch the first flight out Victor," Archie was saying while Lilly sat on the edge of the bed, frozen in fear. After he hung up, he took her in his arms, terrified when her limbs felt like ice to his touch. "Lilly! Lilly, it's all right darling. We'll find her..."
"We will," she said fiercely as she detached herself from his embrace and rose to her feet. "But first...there are some things I need to tell you." Her lips trembled. "Please don't think that I kept them from you deliberately. I just didn't remember. That was the price I had to pay for being reborn. My memories were cloaked until the terror of Meredith's abduction unlocked them."
"Reborn!"
"My true name is Lilliana Strogoff and I died four hundred years ago in another realm..." she began...
Loki smiled. "Too long, darling. But the Fates wheel comes full circle as always. And the Light is reborn." He walked over and hugged her.
"I couldn't rest...not until I was certain my son was safe...and I longed for a different life.."
"There's nothing wrong with that, Lilly. Blood is the tie that binds the most." Loki said softly, releasing her.
"I'm still trying to process it all...my wife a four hundred year old reincarnated demigoddess..." Archie murmured.
"It's a bit of a leap of faith," Loki admitted. "You should talk to my great-grandson over there. He has just as much adjusting to do considering he has my immortal family and his own to deal with. And his sister and brother don't even know he exists yet."
"I love Lilly no matter what she is...or was...but then...I now have a stepson three years older than me!"
Loki laughed. "You'll get used to it. We immortals sort of quit counting years after awhile. And Bobby there has a great-aunt who is only two. That's my youngest, Astra."
"Where is my granddaughter, Loki? Is she safe?"
"I sent her home to Rumple's house with Regina in Storybrooke."
"Oh thank the gods!" Archie breathed a sigh of relief. "Lilly and I thought Zorinda might have taken her to Oz but when we tried to access Lilly's world through a portal we were sent to thins one."
"It's almost as if my world, as if Nonestica no longer exists!" Lilly exclaimed.
"I'm afraid it doesn't darling," Loki said sadly. "It was destroyed eight years ago. The horror of its destruction was felt across the worlds...all the gods wept."
"A whole world was destroyed? How did that happen?" Robert demanded. "Why?"
Archie gasped. "You couldn't prevent it? With all your powers?"
"Only the Nonestican Guardians could have prevented it," Loki replied.
"There was a prophecy spoken by our god Aramon after Nonestica's creation that if the balance between darkness and light was not restored before the second double eclipse, my world and all in it would die." A tear slid down Lilly's cheek. "Lurline was so angered by Aramon's words that she stripped him of his powers and locked him in the Ozian Hell realm. There would be two double eclipses within thirty days of each other excatly five hundred years to the day the prophecy was spoken."
"So how did it happen? Was it like a nuclear war?" Robert queried.
"Imagine every disaster movie ever made," Loki said.
"My God!" Robert choked.
"Your son, dear Lilly and his fellow Gurardians were able to save people from all the realms...except a great number of the adult population of Oz. His cousin sealed all the portals to Oz off once the children and those who wished to leave were evacuated."
"Then Aramon's words were true...the emerald that stored Lurline's life force was found and destroyed, triggering the destruction."
"How was my stepson able to save everyone they could?" Archie inquired.
"His cousin Lavinia sent a message to him when her daughter left Oz fifteen days before the final eclipse. The Guardians combined their powers and opened portals to all the realms to start the evacuations. Regina was sent through to evacuate the Enchanted Forest and barely escaped as she was still there when the destruction began. The Forest was the last realm to fall. We still hear the screams of those left behind to this day."
"How is it that all of you aren't crazy from feeling that?" Archie wanted know.
Lilly leaned against the trunk of one of the trees, weeping brokenly. "She divided them...it was the only way the prophecy came to pass."
"It is not easy, believe me, Doctor. But in death there is life and those who survived have given birth to new generations who honor those they lost."
Loki glanced over at Lilly. "And you are correct. Hades's bitch of a daughter Alemedia split her essence between the South Guardian and her bondmate to stir up discontent against Lurline's bloodline in Oz."
"Two Dark Ones..." Lilly murmured.
He went a put an arm around Lilly, letting her lean against him. Then he handed her a green handkerchief with a stylized L on it.
"Thank you, " she sniffled.
"He was the Savior as Aramon said he would be." She smiled at Loki. "And now the mantle passes to your great-grandchildren, my friend. Those of your blood are now the Guardians of this realm."
Yes, but first they have to pass the tests," the god sighed. "And defeat Zorinda."
"And they will."
"There's plenty left if any of you care for a bite," one of the Cannibal Barbies said while she picked her teeth with a small bone.
"No, thank you. That one would make me sick," Loki declined. "Too much bile."
Archie held up his hand. "We ahhh...had a big lunch on the plane."
Lilly covered her mouth with her hand and giggled.
"I know I shouldn't be laughing but I couldn't help it!"
One of the monkeys tossed some meat in a bowl and poured in garlic and parmesan cheese.
"To each their own," Robert shrugged.
"It's nice to hear you laugh again, darling," Loki remarked, his emerald eyes twinkling.
"I have reasons to now. I have finally met a man I could love and who loves me. Our granddaughter...well...she's had some issues but we'll work through them and I will finally get to see my son!"
"You will. And your granddaughter . . . is the new Guardian of the North, Lilly." Loki informed her.
"What..what? Meri? But how?"
"She has proven herself worthy of the burden, Lilly. She stands at the North as Zorinda's daughter stands at the South. One born in light, one born in darkness."
"Regina is the other guardian?" Archie asked.
"Merri's symbol would be earth themed and Regina's the chalice for water," Lilly clarified.
"She bears the cricket," Loki told her, smiling.
"Oh how wonderful! In your honor Archie!" she cried. "She could have chosen any earth symbol she wished but she chose the cricket!"
"Then let's go home. That granddaughter of mine is getting the biggest hug from her cricket grandpa."
Lilly reached into the pocket of her slacks and took out a silver coin with the symbol of a funnel cloud on it. "You might want to stand back...these travel storms can be fierce at times."
She started to hand Loki back his handkerchief but the god shook his head. "Keep it. A token to remember the handkerchief trick I played with you as a child."
She chuckled. "That smeared green ink all over my face that it took two days to wash off!"
"Ah, but I made you laugh. So it was worth it," the God of Mischief smirked.
"May Loki bring you laughter wherever you go," Lilly quoted softly.
"Thank the gods you two are old friends otherwise I'd be thinking you're flirting with my wife," Archie laughed.
"He was more of an uncle to me but...the ladies in my father's court swooned over him."
"You get that a lot, don"t you?" Robert remarked.
"I do," the god nodded. "And you have inherited your share of it, grandson."
"My father prided himself on being the king of tricks but you unseated the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz! "Lilly laughed.
"Now that was one of my best tricks," the mischievous god agreed. "I enjoyed that immensely."
"You had to prove he was worthy of your Glinda." Lilly smirked. "Mama had a bit of a crush..."
"On Loki?' Archie queried.
"Yes. He was a friend of the family but Mama flirted with him constantly when she was a teenager. He called her Glinda the Naughty."
"You were flirting with girls when you were married?" Robert frowned.
"No. I was between marriages then," Loki answered. "Sigyn's only been my wife for the past nine hundred years."
"And Loki tried, tried to keep Mama honest but she chased him!"
"And how!" Loki chuckled. "I went for a swim in one of the natural forest pools and she stole my clothes! Then she jumped in the water after me. And a procession was coming by so I couldn't get out. I ended up transforming into an otter. Then I tried to slip out of the pool, but Glinda started shouting that her pet otter had escaped her and one of the lords chased me with his dog until I dived back into the pool to get away from the stinking drooling animal . . . and right into Glinda's arms."
"Then my grandfather caught you!"
Robert started laughing. "I'll bet you had a hard time explaining that one away!"
"Not as hard as Mama!"
Her grandfather Ozarian had been less than pleased seeing his daughter behaving like a wanton.
"Ozarian was furious, he had seen everything that went on through his Seeing Globe," Loki explained. "He wanted to tie her to a post and whip her, but I refused to let him do that. I don't believe in beating children who misbehave. So I told him I would deal with her myself."
"My grandfather was vicious like Zorinda."
"What did you do?" Archie wanted to know.
"He was a nasty piece of work, wanting to whip a fourteen year old for being spirited and having a crush," Loki frowned. "So I pretended to be angry and Glinda and I tricked him. I pretended to paddle her in front of him, it was all an illusion, and then I told him she was going to be my servant for a month. That was true. But she served as my apprentice and I taught her magic."
"And she called herself Glinda the Good," Lilly added.
"Because I was always telling her to be good," Loki said.
"And she was from that time on." Lilly tossed the coin into the clearing and a large funnel cloud formed. She took Archie's hand in hers.
"You never heard of the slippers?" Robert joked.
"Zelena had them," Loki murmured. "Let's see if they survived the bonfire."
Lilly gestured and the coin returned to her hand. "If they create portals it will be easier to use them."
Loki strolled over to where the girls and the monkeys were eating. "Ladies, would you happen to know if you removed a pair of silver slippers from this bitch before you cooked her?"
"We did." Witch Hunter Barbie set a pair of silver shoes on the table.
"Thank you, darlings." Loki drawled. He picked up the shoes. "Lilly, these belong to you."
"Me? Why?"
"Better check for fungus!" Robert joked.
"I'm going to disinfect them first, Lilly," Loki said and did so with a quick scouring spell. "There! As to why, do you wish me to give them to someone else to use after you finish with them? They are an Ozian relic."
She smiled wistfully. "I miss laying by the lake at Finaqua."
She took off her boots and put on the slippers, tapping the heels three times. Archie clasped his hand in hers and the couple vanished in a puff of green smoke.
"Did they go back to Storybrooke?" Robert queried.
"They did. And now that's where we are going too. It's time we had a family reunion, grandson." Loki stated. He gestured and a green swirling portal appeared and opened showing the Golds' salmon Victorian. "Go through it first, lad. The portal maker always travels last to close the Gate."
Robert exhaled nervously. Oh buck up man, he scolded himself. You are a United States Marine. This is not like facing down a firing squad.
Loki patted his shoulder comfortingly. "They will want you. You are Rumple's twin, his missing half. And Rhea will love having yet another brother to tease."
"Unless I tease first!" He laughed and stepped through the portal.
Loki followed a moment later and the portal shut with a snap behind him. Together the two men ambled up the walk to the front door, laughing at the sign next to it. A Spoiled Rotten Cat and Her Pedigreed Human Family Live Here.
"Now I know this is one of my descendants," Loki giggled. "All of my line love cats . . . even when they claim otherwise."
"I don't," Robert lied.
Loki shook a finger at him. "Not true. Never try and lie to me, boy. I always know." He rang the doorbell.
"I wonder who that is?" Belle mused.
I hope it's Skytreader!" Regina exclaimed from her father's lap. The girls were in the kitchen with the Charmings and Hoppers enjoying plates of macaroni and cheese with hot dogs.
Archie and Lilly winked at their granddaughter. They wanted his visit to be a surprise for the child.
"Hello may I...Rumple!" Belle cried, throwing her arms around a stunned Robert.
Emma whistled. "Hey Rumple who's the stud?"
"Excuse me?" Bae glowered at his wife. "Roll the tongue in Emma."
"Sorry but...wow..."
"I . . . umm have that effect on a lot of women," Loki said apologetically.
Alice dropped the plate of cookies she was holding.
"I'll say! Sweetie if I wasn't married I'd be wanting your phone number!"
"If I wasn't married, darling, I just might give you it," Loki joked.
"Oh quit it, you're acting like you're in heat!" Jeff grouched.
"Shut it Carstairs or you'll be sleeping outside tonight," Alice threatened with a smirk.
Just then Daria began cooing and holding her arms out for Loki from her infant seat.
"Jesus H Christ, even the babies!" Bae exclaimed. "Who the heck are you anyway? Cupid or Eros?"
"Well, hello, angel face!" Loki grinned. "Aren't you just sweet as honey!" The god turned and smiled."Neither. I'm Loki of Asgard, God of Mischief and Fire."
"Rumple, how did you find him?" Belle asked Robert.
"Awesome!" Henry cried.
"He didn't. I found him." Loki corrected. "And Belle, sweetie, you may want to sit down. Because the man you were just hugging . . . isn't your husband."
"What?"
"You should sit down," Lilly said. "It's a quite a story we all have to tell."
Belle picked up Daria ad Dylan and returned to the sofa.
Suddenly Regina and Meredith come running into the living room. "Skytreader!" they yelled and ran to hug Loki about the knees.
"I told you I'd come and see you soon," Loki laughed, kneeling down to hug them. "Now why don't you two sit here with me and we'll tell your Aunt Belle just what by the Nine is going on here."
"Okay!"
Loki went over to the loveseat and sat down, and Regina and Meredith climbed on his lap. "Now, darling, let's start with the fact that this man who looks like your husband Rumplestiltskin Gold isn't really your husband. Tell them who you are, Colonel."
"I'm Colonel Robert Alexander MacNamara. That's the name my adopted parents gave me. I'm a US Marine, retired. I am also Rumple's identical twin brother."
"Papa's twin? That's crazy! Papa doesn't have a twin. Is this one of your tricks?" Bae glared at Loki. The god shook his head.
"I would never do anything so cruel. This man is your Uncle, Baelfire. Please give him a chance to explain."
"You got five minutes!"
"Bae!"
"Come on, Em. The guy is lying through his teeth."
"No, he isn't."
She stared hard at the Colonel, searching for any signs that the man was deceiving them but there were none. She also sensed that his upbringing was rough like her own.
"Bae, listen to him. Please," Alina pleaded.
"Trust your heart, Baelfire. It never lies." Loki said. "She knows the truth." He indicated Emma.
"A man after my own heart, too bad I gave it to that lug over there," Emma giggled pointing at her husband.
"He is stubborn. Like my brothers. Sometimes they make you want to hit them over the head but you love them anyway," Loki grinned. He glanced over at Ilyssa and said softly, "You have a baby Valkyrie there, darling. Best send her to me so I can teach her how to use her gifts when she is older. Or I can come to you."
"Either is fine with me!" Emma smiled.
"Loki, maybe you better explain about Daria first so they understand the connections," Robert suggested.
"Yes, that would be best. I have a vested interest in the Gold family because you also happen to be my family. I am Rumple's great grandfather. My son Narvi was a twin and he was your great grandfather. Your grandmother Daria was his daughter, a beautiful baby gifted with strong magic, and she caught the attention of the Queen of the Fae when Narvi and Kyla travelled through the Enchanted Forest to visit some friends . . ."
"This is awesome, isn't it Alina?" Henry asked her.
"Does this mean we're immortal too?" she asked Loki.
"Not quite. Your immortal blood is diluted slightly. But you are demigods and goddesses. And my Asgardian family recognizes you as ours."
"Just as my Ozian Strogoff family recognizes you as ours, Meri," Lilly said softly.
"And Gina too," Meridith clarified.
"Yes. We are all linked by blood and magic." Loki agreed. "And when Titania stole Daria she caused a great rift in the Balance between Light and Dark. And the Dark grew ascendant for a very long time. But now with the reuniting of families the Light shall rise. So long as truth and belief remain supreme. Now here is the rest of my tale."
They listened raptly as the God of Mischief told how Daria grew up believing she was the Gold Fairy, and fell in love with an unworthy con artist named Malcolm. How she gave up her magic to live a mortal life but the magic always remains in the blood and manifested in her children. Then he told how Malcolm needed money to pay gambling debts and after being beaten by his creditors determined to sell his unborn child to pay them off.
"The pattern repeats. But instead of one child, Daria had twin boys, identical as mirror reflections. Like my twins Narvi and Vali. And Malcom rejoiced for now he could get rid of one brat and keep a son. So he took your Uncle Robert and after drugging his mother, gave him to a slaver, who happened to be a minor magician skilled in portals. He took the baby and brought him here so no one could trace them because the Realms Gates to Earth from the Forest were eroding. And then Malcolm told Daria her son had died and showed her a fake grave and she was so grief stricken she believed him and she never spoke of the son she lost again."
"Rumple will be so upset. It was painful enough when he thought Rhea was dead," Belle said sadly.
Loki nodded sadly. "My family was torn apart by selfishness and deceit. Imagine my shock when my granddaughter came to me in the Astral and told me this. If I had a corporeal body I would have fallen on the floor. All that time I and mine grieved our lost ones were alive and unknowing. But the Norns weave in mysterious ways and even gods must follow the pattern. Only in our case the pattern was broken and only now can we reweave it anew. I am here to bring my family together and right a great wrong."
"So what happened to you here?" Henry asked his grand-uncle.
"I grew up in a state run facility in New York City. Until I was eight. You probably all know the movie Annie, and how those orphans lived in that hole with Miss Hannigan? Well, that was no exaggeration. I lived in a similar place called Morton's Reformatory Home for Boys. If you think that sounds like juvie, you're right. It was no better. And I ran away two times but they always found me."
"Just like me running from my foster homes," said Emma.
"You and I come from the same side of the street. But my luck changed when I ran off for the third time. I hid in the back of a car parked by the orphanage and it belonged to a young couple named Josie and Alex MacNamara. They had been married for some time but Josie was told she was barren and they were discussing adopting a child. And there I was in the back seat listening. And I realized that this might be my only chance to have a family because people usually don't adopt kids after age ten. So I sat up and introduced myself. And Alex and Josie saw I was desperate. And mistreated. Josie was a school social worker and Alex was a criminal attorney who was a former Marine. And they not only adopted me, they pressed charges against the orphanage and got it shut down and the managers and staff put in jail. They also loved me like their own son."
"How did you get in the Marines," Bae wanted to know
"My dad helped me get into the officer candidate school by writing me a recommendation. But I still went thru basic on Parrish and after that I graduated school and went on to be one of the Special Ops team called the Black Daggers. I've fought in Iraq and Afghanistan."
"How did you find out you were from our world?"
Bae knew these were the very questions his father would have, curious to hear his uncle's response.
Belle had her own questions for her new brother-in-law but she was hoping he would answer them for her.
"Did you help catch Bin Laden and Saddam?" Alina asked.
"Guys, slow down okay!" Emma pleaded. "Gonna make him feel like he's being court martialed or something!"
"Yes, I orchestrated the capture of both of those men. I was on the team which found Saddam and brought him in. I can tell you that now because it's no longer classified. Before I wouldn't have been able to." Robert replied.
"How did I find out about magic and the fact that I was not originally from here? When I was on vacation after I retired from the Black Daggers I found an old temple in the Andes mountains. I thought it was some ruins of the old Inca society but what I didn't realize was that it also contained an active portal to an alternate reality of the Outer Zone, also known as OZ, but not the Oz of the Enchanted Forest. It took me there when it was under the rule of the Commander and the Sorceress and they captured me believing I was their world's Rumplestiltskin, only to find out that not only was I not him, I possessed the ability to emit a null magic field as defense against mages. No magic will work on me or around me-except magic from those of my bloodline. And I drain mages of their magic and energy. That would have happened to some of you but Loki taught me to choose which mages I drain, and now I do so only to the dark ones."
"How did you get caught by them if you have a null magic field?" Alina asked.
"I think you need Jiminy to tell them that answer, Robert." Loki interjected. "Call him."
"I think you're right, Loki. Robert MacNamara summons thee: Jiminy Ozopov appear now before me." Robert recited quietly.
A puff of green smoke appeared beside Robert revealing a grinning Jiminy Ozopov. "You know you could've warned them your brother's not the only one with a double first," he joked.
"Whoa! Archie, he looks just like you except he has a beard and mustache!" Henry exclaimed.
"And magic..." Archie mumbled.
"Well now that you're here, Commander, would you like to explain to my family how you abducted me?" Robert asked, smiling devilishly.
The others stared at him, mouths agape.
"It's complicated so it's better that I tell you a bit about myself so you can see why things happened as they did." Jiminy began and glanced over at Archie. "Our lives were pretty much the same until just before the Dark Curse was cast. In my version, Geppetto and I were trying to get here so that he could be reunited with his son and we were given one. This." Jiminy held up a coin showing the image of a funnel cloud. "These tokens open a travel storm that can cross worlds and times. I used this the day the curse was cast thinking it would take both of us...but it was only meant to take me. I was sent to the Outer Zone as our Oz is known. After a few weeks I was told I was one of the Guardians of the Balance, the most powerful magical users from all the worlds, charged to maintain the balance between darkness and light. I was also the bondmate of the heir to the Ozian throne, Azkadellia Ozopov."
"Is she the Sorceress Robert spoke of?" Belle inquired.
"That was what the Ozians called the bitch that took possession of her when she was still a child. Her sister Dorothia...or DG heard a summoning from a cave much like the one you encountered Robert. Your cave was one of the Gateways Hades and Persephone created to come back to this world whenever they wished."
"So all the gods that are myths here are real?" Bae queried.
"Very real. Azkadellia is a direct descendant of Hades and Persephone."
"We have always been real, Bae," Loki explained. "But over the centuries humans here were conditioned to forget that fact and so we not only ceased to be real here, but you made up false stories about us."
"And the loss of belief weakened many of them...the Greeks the hardest hit."
The god sighed. "For instance you painted me as god of evil-which I never was. I am the God of Mischief and Fire and incidentally the God of Free Thought and I keep the Balance between Dark and Light as the Trickster."
"And Hades and Persephone's story fared no better I'm afraid," Jiminy added.
"How?" Belle asked.
"Well, The part about Persephone being abducted, for one. She chose to go with Hades because she'd grown tired of her parents games. They created the Oz and the realms surrounding it that became known as Nonestica as their safe haven. But Demeter had a nasty little surprise in store for them. A curse."
Emma snorted. "More curses!"
"She cursed their descendants to fight each other until their line died out."
Loki shook his head. "What a vengeful bitch. All because her daughter chose a man she didn't like to marry. Seriously some of my immortal cousins have more than a little crazy in them. Crazy and nasty."
"And the madness was born with Hades and Persephone's daughters, Lurline and Alemedia. Lurline was a child of light, Alemedia of darkness. When Alemedia was at full strength she killed Persephone, stripped Hades of his powers and locked him in the Ozian Hell realm Ephesis. Lurline and her consort Aramon created the Guardians to keep Alemedia in check. As our Rumple is fond of saying: always find a loophole. Hades allowed his daughters to rule over Paradise and Ephesis but neither could walk the mortal realm. Alemedia discovered she could if she created a talisman that transferred part of her essence to a vessel."
Jiminy summoned Rumplestiltskin Strogoff's sword. "This might look familiar."
Belle gasped. "That...that looks like the Dark One dagger!"
"It was but it was neutralized eight years ago by our Rumplestiltskin..but there were two more like it."
"One Dark One is bad enough. Are you saying there could be more than one at one time?"
"I'll get into that in a minute."
"So you were saying about Azkadellia..."
"Right. Her sister heard a summoning from one of the Gateways to Ephesis. It sounded like a crying child. Dorothia decided to find out what it was against Azkadellia's warnings that they shouldn't be wandering off. Their mother was...occupied," Jiminy said coldly.
"What happened?" Alina asked him.
"They went into the cave and opened the lock to the prison of one of our worst inmates. The Wicked Witch of the West. Bastinda. The girls could've fought her off if they stayed together but Dorothia was terrified and broke their shield."
"They weren't trained to face a full Mistress of the Dark. They were children." Loki murmured. "And not taught the way we of Asgard teach our young ones, how to fight and how to run away to fight another day. All of my children know two spells for emergencies-one to teleport away and one to summon any of their relatives."
"Bastinda had already taken possession of Dellia before Dorothia could get their mother to help them and had I not been trying to broker peace with protestors in Central City, I could've been there to do something!"
"I am not lecturing you, Commander, merely stating a fact," Loki soothed. "You can break your heart on what if, Ozopov."
"I have...for years," Jiminy sighed. "And a few weeks later Bastinda killed Dorothia."
"But everyone thought Azkadellia did it?" Henry clarified.
"Yes. Even though she bore the markings of a possession, the tattoos of Ephesian Mobat demons on her back that she could summon to take physical form at will. Dellia was able to break through sometimes but not enough."
"That poor queen lost her child..." Belle murmured.
"No she didn't. Lavinia resurrected Dorothia minutes after her death. She used part of her life force to do it and had her sent here. A construct was buried in her place."
Jiminy's eyes filled with tears. "Dellia didn't know she had that ability. Nor did she know she could also take one's life force." He cleared his throat. "They exiled Dellia to the Northern Island...the coldest part of the realm. But I refused to let her stay there alone. She and I...we only had each other."
He blushed.
"It was freezing outside, but by the Nine, I bet it was warm inside, huh Commander? All nice and cozy by the fire with a cricket on the hearth." the god teased, grinning his irrepressible grin.
"You had to go there, didn't you? There's kids around, you know!"
"Sorry. I really couldn't pass that up." Loki said, looking only slightly repentant.
"I was hoping that us being together would be enough to free her from Bastinda but we were wrong. It did weaken her hold though the damage had already been done. Bastinda spread discontent with the queen's rule throughout the realm and many of the Ozian Army forces were already on her side. She just needed one more division. Mine."
"So you turned on the queen?" Bae accused.
"No, I think...he played both sides," Archie spoke up.
"Bastinda's army and the queen's met in Central City. General Lannot and I were the last two commanders of the royal army still loyal but I didn't know Lannot had already defected and was leading me into a trap. Her mobat demons killed my men and captured me."
He scowled. "Their claws were laced with squid ink."
"I really need to give you a recipe that counters that," Loki said.
"So I made my choice. I would free my wife and my people by fighting on the inside while they organized outside."
"You got inside Bastinda's head," Archie said.
"Now you see why a psychologist is my cursed profession. I had years of experience dealing with a criminal mind. Regina was a cakewalk compared to Bastinda."
"So there's another Regina?" Emma sighed. "And was she..?"
"Henry's mother. Yes. But you two worked it all out and now you're both mother to him. When Robert arrived in the OZ eighteen years ago Bastinda intended to use him as a weapon against the Guardians. She knew he couldn't drain her so quickly because she was in the body of a demigoddess. But she wasn't taking any chances. She locked him our world's version of an Iron Maiden and kept him hidden from me."
"Bastinda was creative with her torture," Robert said angrily. "The tin suit as she called it was more like a stasis capsule. You were given your nutrients intravenously, your waste filtered out through another set of tubes but you were stuck wearing the same clothing the whole time you were in there. Bastinda planned to use my null magic field to defeat her enemies, namely the surviving members of the Strogoff and Ozopov houses. She just didn't know how to do it."
"Dellia was able to break her hold on her long enough to tell me where Robert was hidden and begged me to release him because she'd seen his name under the list of Loki's descendants in the Book of the Ancients. It contains the complete genealogies of all the pantheons in all the worlds as well as spells on how to defeat their darkest evils. Only a Nonesntican Ozian can translate it. Your Rumple will need it to help him defeat Zorinda."
"I was captured by Zelena not long after that. Time moves differently in her Oz. It's been eighteen years for all of you but not for me. I haven't aged since I've been trapped in her prison. I'm assuming she based its properties on Bastinda's tin suits."
"She did," Jiminy confirmed.
"An I bet the Barbies roasted her good!" Regina piped up.
"Ummm...well...ahhh...she's gone where the goblins go and let's leave it that darling," Loki said.
"How many kids do you have, Loki?" Alina asked curiously.
"I have quite a few, Alina darling. I have Sleipner, Jormungandr, and Fenris. Those are from my first wife. They are all shifters as well as warrior mages. Then I have my twin boys Vali and Narvi, but Narvi passed away in battle several centuries ago. I have two adopted daughters, Hela and Miriamele, Hela is ruler of Helheim. Miri is still home with me, she is around fifteen in Asgard years. And then there's my baby, Astra, who is two."
Jiminy started laughing.
Loki rolled his eyes. "Just what is so funny, Commander Cricket?"
"Oh I remember when my Ambrosia and Andy were two. Holy terrors the both of them. Amber was worse at it."
"Norns help me, but Astra will probably make me need a bottle of hair dye," Loki sighed. "Last week Frigga found her playing with her make-up. She had painted all her murals with it and Odin was taking a nap and she gave him an Egyptian make-over with mascara and eyeshadow and dyed his beard like a rainbow! My mother was not amused, but Father, Sigyn, and I just about died laughing."
"My kids have done some pretty crazy things but I think my favorite jaw dropper was when they decided they were gonna join in on one of my protests. I'm an environmentalist. Anyway. I though Dellia was gonna keep the kids at home while Daddy was out staging a protest but she drives up in our bus and my kids get out dressed in full hippie regalia and start yelling 'Hell No We Won't Go," to the police!" He laughed again. "I got arrested and my kids got candy but I wasn't even doing anything bad, just standing outside a plant that was cited quite a few times for EPA violations!"
Loki giggled. "Astra got her uncles to play with her one day. They played Prisoner. She tied them to chairs with my magic rope that you can't get out of unless you know the password, shaved off their hair and stuck them in Orange dresses, with signs on them like Ate Everyone's Pudding, Has a Potty Mouth, and Was Mean to Daddy, then got all the kids in the palace to come see it and pay her a copper. They Still have not lived that one down!
Henry started laughing. "How did she do all that?"
"She has magic like me." Loki chuckled.
Lilly grinned. "One of my most notorious pranks was was turning the yellow brick road maroon to match the other two roads and everyone started getting lost on the way to the Emerald City. My papa was so angry they bound my magic for a month!"
"Henry tried to decorate with Christmas lights using magic and lit the dojo on fire," Alina recalled. "Papa and Bae came home to the fire department trying to put it out!"
"Yeah, yeah bring up the pyro," Henry said wryly.
"I put spidey spots on Pongo an Princess," Regina declared.
"I made Gramma's cat look like a Barbie on crack," added Meredith.
"When I was little I wrote Alina was here all over Papa's study with permanent marker and he had to repaint it."
Belle grinned. "Alice can tell you some of the chaos we caused."
"Remember the time we put burping powder in the soup for the ladies tea?" Alice grinned. "All those high falutin nobles were belching like they were drunk!"
"And I enjoyed every minute of it!' Belle laughed wickedly. "They were all snobs."
"Henry wasn't the only one who played with fire," Bae admitted. "My friend and I found a magic lamp in the forest and I lit a fire with coals and nearly burned down our village. Papa tanned my butt for that one."
"It must run in the family," Emma teased.
"I played a trick on the orphanage manager once. I lit a string of firecrackers under his bed. He thought someone was shooting at him from the window and ran outside in his underwear in the middle of the street!" Robert told them.
"Dellia and I used to play pranks on each other during our exile in the Northern Island. She took one of my books and wrote some things in it in Russian because she knew I couldn't translate it. It turned out to be a spell that made me snore in my sleep!" Jiminy smiled at the memory. "Then she had me listen to the recording she made of it."
"I can tell you are my descendants from the variety of pranks you pull," Loki grinned. "You have inherited my penchant for humor and mischief. I'm sure you have stories about Rumple and Rhea that are hilarious."
"The snow war!" Regina cried.
"A snow war?" Loki's eyes sparkled. "That sounds like glorious fun. I'm half-frost giant so I love pranks using frost magic."
"Oh you would've loved these. They even kept score," Alina giggled.
"How marvelous! I should come down during the winter and play with you. Actually, I could make it snow whenever I want, enough to have a snow war in any season. Perhaps I will bring Astra and Sigyn too. Sigyn is a goddess of the forest and she enjoys snow as much as I do. And Astra has my immunity to cold and plays in it until I go and fetch her inside."
"That would be lovely. Christmas is our favorite time of the year," Belle said softly.
"I will ask Sigyn if she would like to come with my daughters. There are twelve days of Yule in Asgard. And there are parties each night. We can spend a few days with our Gold descendants without offending anyone. Though I'm sure Odin and Frigga will want you all to come to Asgard too."
"That would be awesome! How about it Mom?"
"It sure would Henry," Emma agreed.
Belle glanced up at the clock. "I wish Rumple would come home..."
The Jolly Roger:
Rumple faced his nemesis, his sword glittering in the noonday sun. How fitting, the sorcerer thought. High noon, the time all the gunfights were fought in the Old West. "Get ready to meet Hades, dearie!"
"You first, crocodile!"
Rumple eyed the pirate condescendingly, waiting for the hothead fool to make the first move. If he recalled correctly, Hook was all boast and less skill.
"Your head will look fantastic mounted on the wall of my quarters!" Hook snarled and swung his sword.
Rumple blocked his stroke and then riposted, beating Hook's cutlass to the side. "Getting slow aren't you, pirate? Too much ale and not enough exercise."
"Shut up, crocodile! I'm going to skin you and use you as a rug!" He attacked again, stabbing at Rumple's knees.
Rumple ducked and spun away, he blocked Hook's strike, forcing the pirate's arm out wide. Then he lunged and stabbed Hook in the thigh. "First blood!" He smirked tauntingly.
Hook swore angrily, then lunged at Rumple, trying to pin him against the mast. They exchanged a flurry of blows, the wound on Hook slowing him down.
Rumple noticed the spots of blood on the deck and gave Hook a warning smirk. "You're bleeding rather heavily, pirate. Looks like I nicked you good."
Hook spat at him. "I will kill you yet, crocodile!" He thrust hard at Rumple's chest.
The sorcerer flicked his sword and the cutlass rebounded. "Slow and clumsy, Hook. Your dueling teacher should have beaten the arrogance out of you long ago. Then you wouldn't make mistakes like this." He twirled his blade and performed quick one, two combination that had Hook retreating across the deck.
Then the pirate slipped in a patch of his own blood and went to one knee.
Rumple saw his chance and struck, his sword piercing a lung.
Hook staggered and gasped.
"Bastard!"
"My parents were married but who knows if yours were!" Rumple taunted. Then he knocked the sword from the pirate's hand and delivered the final thrust. "Give my regards to the Lord of the Dead, Jones! And may you dwell long in Tarterus for your crimes, you raping bastard!"
Justice had been done.
Rumple stood there for several minutes watching as the body of the man that had been his worst enemy begin its descent into the deepest pit in Hell, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief.
One threat to his family had been eliminated yet another still remained.
"Well done dearie. Well done," he heard a voice so much like his own whisper on the wind.
"Who...? Who is that? Show yourself!" he commanded.
He heard a giggle. "Oh you'll see me soon. There's more to be done and more you need to learn about yourself but this will suffice...for now."
Rumple hissed in pain as something burned itself into the tender flesh of his upper left arm. He stripped off his shirt and went into the captain's quarters to see a tattoo of a spinning wheel in flames there along with a sword in the same shape as his former Dark One dagger underneath.
"You are the West Gate, the Keeper of the Blade forged from the fires of your past conquered."
"Wh...What...?"
"Go home Rumplestiltskin. Your family awaits."
He put his shirt back on and walked back to the car. When he turned on the engine he was startled when the radio suddenly turned on and The Rolling Stones Sympathy For the Devil blared out of the speakers.
"Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game..."
"I dinna ken who ye are dearie but makin' me deaf won't score ye any points!"
Yet he found himself singing along as he drove back to the Victorian.
All he wanted to do when he got home was hug his family and spend the rest of the evening relaxing on the sofa with a good book or movie. He opened the door expecting Nala to come darting out of her hiding place and brush against his leg, her usual greeting or have his hands full with his beloved wife. But nothing.
"Belle!" he called out and headed for the living room, his heart racing with dread.
"Rumple!" she cried and threw herself into his awaiting arms.
"You scared the living daylights out of me, sweetheart. Why didn't you answer?" he asked and kissed her.
"I wanted to surprise you."
He grinned. "Well I do love your surprises. Is everyone all right?"
"We're fine. Come..." She took his hand and led him into the living room where another surprise awaited.
"Who the hell are YOU?" he demanded from the stranger sitting on HIS sofa and looking at him was like looking into a mirror!