Disclaimer - Original characters and original plot belongs to SKAM.

"Did you see Eskilds post on Facebook? It's hilarious" Sonja laughs as she stares at her phone

"Nien, I deleted that shit months ago"

I deleted my account after the events of what happened at my old school, I had enough of social media shit. Sonja ignores what I just said and continues to go on about what is happening in the life of Facebook, I couldn't give on fuck about it. I roll my eyes but she doesn't notice. The truth was I was getting tired of Sonja, I was growing apart from her. We spent the entire summer together and it just felt like a chore. My feelings for her weren't as strong as they once were. I have been with her since I was fifteen. It was new and exciting and her beauty excited me but there was nothing else to her she's a simple girl who likes shopping having fun and getting drunk I enjoy those things myself but you can't have deep discussions with her and she never understands the passion I have for movies or politics, she finds it boring I'm drifting apart from her but I wont break up with her she is the only person that gets me who understands who has always been at my side especially the dark days I'm afraid I wont find anyone else who would do that who would understand my illness and who would support and love me.

Sonja walks me to the bus stop, my first day at Nissen high school my fresh start. I'm a little nervous, I was surrounded by the same faces every day for three years and now I'll be alone with no one familiar around me, it's quite overwhelming but then again that's the whole point why I'm doing this for the fact no one will know me here and it does take the edge off. As my bus approaches us, Sonja kisses me on the lips, I don't kiss back, She smiles and wishes me good luck. Here goes! I say to myself as I get on the bus.

As I walk past the gates onto the court yard, I see most if the students in groups of five and six, laughing with their friends, getting excited to start their new year. I've never felt so alone. I glance at a group of boys as I walk past, and all of a sudden I'm finding it hard to breathe. My eyes are locked on to this face, I just can't stop staring even as I walk past them, I still find myself looking at him. I've never seen someone so beautiful before. He was kind short, maybe just a little shorter than me you could see his blonde curly hair peaking out of his backwards baseball cap. He is flawless. Who is this boy? And why am I so memorialized by him? God, he;s beautiful.

I walk into my media class, I feel at ease, like a weight has been lifted but I still have this boy on my mind, I want to meet him, I need to meet him.

I'm looking across the room to find a an empty seat. A boy with long dark hair is sitting alone, I can't see a bag on the desk to tell someone is already going to sit there.

"Do you mind I sit here?" I ask. Feeling confident with myself for a change.

"Sure man" He smiles "Your new right? I've not seen you in school before?"

"Yeah, I went to Elvebakken" Fuck what if he looks me up. I wish I had just lied.

"Welcome to Nissen, I'm Dag"

"Even"

We shake hands. This is easier than I thought, I was pretty certain he was going to ask why I moved considering my old school isn't that far away. I'm glad he didn't, I'm a terrible liar.

I'm at locker, putting my new textbooks away. Dag is now at my side "Hey man, do you want to sit with us at lunch?"

"Uh, yeah that would be great"

I was feeling great, first day of a new school and I already made a potential friend, maybe this year things will be better, hmm I doubt it, give it time I'm sure I will find a away to fuck it up.

I see the group of boys again, the ones I passed by this morning, but the flawless blonde was not there, I'm feeling quite disappointed. I really want to see him again. Dag throws his bag on the lunch table, our table is practically behind the table of the group of boys. Maybe they will talk about the blonde and I can find more things about him.

I'm pretending to listen to Dag, truth is I wish he would shut up talking so I can hear what the group of boys are talking about

"Where is the little asshole anyways? I want my shit back"

"He's at basketball practice, he will fix it"

"he better"

"Do you think one of the first years will fuck me this year? I really need to fuck"

The other two boys say "Nien" at the same time and a huge sound of laughter fills the air.

I have no idea what they were talking about but I;m assuming the little asshole is the boy I can't get out of my head.

I walk into the front room of my apartment. My mother beams a smile, she asks how the first day went. I ramble on about the new friend I made and how I loved the media class. I wanted to talk about the blonde guy, but I stopped myself, the last time I started talking about a boy that I liked, well you know.

I'm sitting at my window, I take out the joint that has been in my bag all day, I really shouldn't smoke it tends to mess with my meds, but it still doesn't stop me. I light the edged paper and inhale. I stare out my window thinking of everything and nothing. My jean pockets is now vibrating.

SONJA - HI Baby! How was your first day? Tell me all about it tonight! Love you xx

I'm rolling my eyes. I have forgot she is coming over tonight, I just realized , I completely forgot I have a girlfriend. This morning in the yard, when I was staring at him, Sonja didn't exist there was no Sonja. That was a feeling I've never experienced before, not even with Mikael.

It's the next day of school. i walk in the lunch hall, I see Dag and a few of his friends he gives a nod to come over and sit with them. I sit down and there he is, the boy from yesterday, wearing the same backwards cap, his golden hair sticking out at the sides. I can't stop staring at him. He looks like he's having a disagreement with his group of friends and something about cat tongues and vagina's. SHIT! He looked at me, he actual looked at me! Sure, it was only for a second and he looked away soon as I met his eyes. Does this mean? Nien, probably not, he must of only looked at me because I'm new. I can't think he was checking me out, because I got it all wrong before, but I guess that was different, I was having an episode when that happened. Two girls are now talking to him, the blonde one must be his girlfriend or something, I suddenly felt sad, sad that he may be taken. Well. I'm taken yet I'm finding myself thinking about another person, his lips look so soft, kissable lips, he defiantly has kissable lips. I'm watching the girls walk away, there is three of them now, as their faces are shown to me, I feel a clench in my gut. SANA?! FUCK FUCK FUCK! I forgot Sana goes here! Elias' younger sister. NO NO NO! I can't believe this! This was suppose to be my fresh start, no one was suppose to know me here. My cover has been blown. Is the whole school going to find out about me now?! FUCK! She glances at me, but there is no emotion to her, she is not shocked nor sad, she ignores me. Great!

I'm at my locker, wishing the day will hurry up and end. There's a figure now next to me, I can see them at the corner of my eye.

"Hi"

FUCK! It's Sana.

"Hi" I say without looking directly at her.

She looks awkward, like she doesn't know what to say,

"How have you been?"

"uh, yeah good"

"I don't know exactly what happened back at your old school and I know things with Elias and Mikael didn't go down so well, but I don't judge and I'm here if you want to talk, about anything" she smiles at me.

I feel a sense of relief in my chest, I can finally breathe. I smile back at her "Thanks Sana"

"We have have a revue meeting for our group on Friday, if you would like to come"

I make a face. Revue groups are not my thing "Um, I don't know"

"It won't be just us girls, there will be guys there too, Isak will definitely will be there!" She grins, like she has just told a joke but I've missed the punch line.

"Isak?"

"Oh, he's a second year like me, you've most likely have seen him about the halls, blonde, never goes without a baseball cap and looks grumpy all the time" she rolls her eyes

Isak! His name is Isak. A beautiful name for a beautiful boy. "This Friday? Yeah, I think I could make it"

Sana smiles and we both say goodbye. I feel so much better after talking to her, why was I so worried? Maybe I just over think too much, well I already know I do. But one thing is for certain, I need to be Isak, I just have to. There's something about him, it's not just the instant attraction. I just have to be around him.