Dear Fanfiction Writers

by SideshowJazz1

The characters of Total Drama have been cruising through the archive of stories about them recently, and they're rather...interested in those who write about them. So they're going to do a bit of their own writing - to us, to say what they want written and not written about them! Pretty much a side project written for laughs. R&R!

48. Scarlett's Letter

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

For heaven's sake, all I did was try to win a million dollars! What, have you never done anything unorthodox to get what you wanted? You can't honestly tell me you would say no to having that money in order to get to university and set up your life the way I wanted to set up mine.

And yes, I was actually planning to use the money for university. Who do you think I am, Mal? There is no point in using money to buy a tower overlooking a volcano. Honestly, how many people would think that a valid reason to spend money on?

Now that's out of the way, I need to address my greatest issues with your stories, a pairing you call "Scax". I would never entertain the thought of entering a relationship with that delusional imbecile and you need to stop thinking I would. And you would most definitely not want to find out what happens if I decided it had gone far enough and I needed to track down the authors.

The competiton stories are rather entertaining. I have an affinity for the ones that displayed the characters dying in different ways, but none of them had the realism I appreciate in fiction. There was also a rather suspenseful scene in one story that involved me taking control of Total Drama and using one of the richer contestant's lives as barter for more than the million, but then the author rewrote time and had one of the others stop me. If it had been real, rest assured I wouldn't repeat my last mistake when I tried to take control, which is why you should pay attention to this letter. You don't want me to find you.

Smarter than you believe,

Scarlett