20. Close Proximities – NSFW

Delphine and Cosima sat on the couch together, both a bit stunned. Cosima was fiddling with her rings and Delphine was biting at her lip and examining the small area around them.

"What happened?" Cosima finally broke the silence.

"My aunt, she got pregnant or her daughter got pregnant, I don't know. Since my father started declining, my mother has needed a lot more help around the house and everything. They own a tiny vineyard outside of Lille. It doesn't really do that well, but I think everyone in town either pities them or likes fresh local wine. Anyway, since he really is getting worse, my mom can't handle everything on her own. I'm done with school and had always planned on returning home when I was done so, my mom begged me to come home," Delphine didn't make eye contact, only stared at her fingers picking at each other.

"I'm sorry, Delphine. It has to be really hard on you and your family," Delphine could hear the deep sadness in Cosima's raspy voice.

"I'm sorry this happened at such a bad time".

Cosima rolled her eyes, "You have nothing to be sorry for". She turned toward Delphine, "So, when do you leave?"

"I should get my diploma in a couple weeks, my mom said I should wait here for it so that they don't charge her for international mail or something like that. I'll have to wait until that, then I'll pack and be gone about a week after that. So…three weeks maybe?"

"That's quick," Cosima laid her head on the back of the couch. She sighed and mumbled something about needing weed. "Well," Cosima abruptly turned to Delphine again, a grin appearing on her face, "why don't we make the most of our time before you leave then?"

Delphine thought about the pros and cons. If she spent more time with Cosima before she left, it would surely make it harder, but if she avoided her altogether, she would just be depressed. "Okay. I'd like that," she smiled, relieved not everything was bad at the moment.

Cosima scooched closer on the couch so that there was no space between them, and then she grabbed Delphine's hand and intertwined their fingers. It wasn't something they hadn't done before, but this time they didn't need to pretend it was friendly. Delphine felt herself smiling like an idiot. "Let's just start with this, okay?" Delphine nodded.

Cosima flipped through channels, trying to find something for them to watch, while Delphine ordered delivery on her phone. For the first time in over a year, they fell asleep together on the couch, Delphine's arm wrapped around Cosima's waist.

Cosima had a week off before her last summer session started. Delphine planned to spend every day with her. That was only half the reason she insisted Cosima stay with her, though.

"Delphine, it's fine, I have savings," Delphine rolled her eyes at the girl lounging on her couch. "I don't want you to get sick of me".

"You have enough savings to live in a hotel for several months?"

"First, it's a motel, and second, I'll find a place soon enough…"

"It's nowhere near campus and you don't have a car. You'll have a hard time finding a place to rent without a lease since you've never rented before, and leases are usually a year or two. You'll need a job," Delphine didn't plan on letting it go.

"Then I'll get a job. Who wouldn't want to hire me? I'm spectacular".

"Just stay with me, Spectacular. I'm not taking no for an answer," Delphine handed her a glass of wine. She took it and downed most of it before Delphine even sat down.

"Delphine, I'm going to say something that might sound threatening, but I promise it's supposed to be sexy and, like, clever…kay?" She set her glass on the coffee table.

"Mon Dieu, you worry me, Cosima". Delphine let Cosima take her glass and set it next to her own. She prepared for the worst, but with a smile on her face.

Cosima swung her leg over Delphine's lap so she was straddling her, and then draped her arms over Delphine's shoulders. "I'm not taking no for an answer," she said in some exaggerated tone meant to be seductive.

Delphine vaguely registered that she was biting her lip, but her focus had turned primarily to the home her hands were making on Cosima's thighs. She knew she should respond before it looked like she was genuinely affected by Cosima's words. She couldn't think of anything to say, though, and her lip was still trapped between her teeth. Cosima grinned mischievously.

Rather than play the game that would only elongate the wait she had already endured, Delphine said nothing and opted for action. She slid her hands up Cosima's thighs, effectively relieving the mischievous smile of its position, and slipped her fingers under the bottom of her shirt. She glanced up to Cosima, silently asking permission, which was confirmed after seeing the look in her eyes. She let her hands glide up Cosima's sides so that her shirt rode up with them, and only broke contact when it was time to pull it all the way off. Cosima threw her glasses on top of her shirt and then abruptly pulled Delphine to her until their lips met. She could taste the wine on her tongue.

They both jumped when they heard Delphine's phone going off. Cosima groaned and shoved her hand in Delphine's pocket to fetch the phone. She looked at the caller ID while Delphine giggled at her. Cosima glared and covered her mouth with her free hand before answering the phone. "Scott. What," she grumbled through her teeth. "She's great. If you call this number again within the next eight hours, I will hunt you down. Goodbye," she hung up the phone and put it on the table next to the wine glasses.

"Poor Scott," Delphine commiserated when Cosima removed her hand from her mouth.

"Nah uh, poor Cosi–" her whine was cut short as Delphine lifted her up as she stood. Cosima yelped and wrapped her legs around her waist. She carried Cosima all the way to the bedroom before dropping her on the bed and crawling over top of her.

"You know, even though it's been a while since I've participated in these types of activities, I think eight hours is still considered pretty ambitious…" Delphine lifted her arms when Cosima started peeling her top off.

"Exactly how long has it been?" The brunette stealthily flipped them over so that she had the blond pinned beneath her and began laying kisses down the side of her neck.

Delphine's cognitive capacities were declining quickly, and she was sure that Cosima knew that but was keeping up conversation anyway. "Well…not since I've been in the States, so…more than four years. I don't really remember…the last time…I was with someone…in France, though".

Cosima stopped abruptly and looked straight at Delphine. "So, like, at least four years?" Delphine nodded. "Dude, why didn't you tell me that before? I would have broken up with Shay on the spot just for the sake of your, uh..." Cosima trailed off.

Delphine chuckled, "I don't know about that…" she watched as Cosima traced along her torso with her fingertips. "How did that go, by the way. You never said what happened".

"It…it was a lot less shitty than I thought it would be. I guess I just never thought about the fact that she's kind of always a bitch or maybe I thought she would be infinitely worse when it happened," she sighed and let her gaze follow the fingers that were lightly tickling Delphine's stomach. "I yelled at her a lot. I really wanted to slap her, but I couldn't. She would have taken me down in two seconds".

"I'm really happy for you, Cosima". Delphine brushed her hand over Cosima's cheek. She grinned down at the blond.

"Are you just happy because…" Cosima dipped her head down to kiss her deeply. Delphine felt her body warming as Cosima's tongue glided over hers. The slightest whimper escaped when Cosima lowered herself all the way down, leaving no room between them, skin to skin.

Cosima moved to Delphine's neck again as she caught her breath. "…no…I would have been happy either…way". Cosima slid down her body, nipping at her collarbone and chest. Delphine's hands were trailing along Cosima's back as she traveled, eventually running into the clasp of Cosima's bra. She attempted to maneuver the hooks but couldn't finish before Cosima started giggling. She reached around her back and aided in Delphine's task. After the garment was discarded on the floor, Cosima slid her arm between the bed and Delphine to unhook her bra as well, and then sent it to the floor with her own.

As thoughts of friendship and the boundaries that surround it passed through Delphine's mind, she found her hands moving toward the waist band of Cosima's silky pants. With Cosima working tirelessly on what Delphine knew would turn into a hickey, she slid the tips of her fingers beneath the waistband to join the pile of clothing on the floor.

"Well aren't you just right to the point," Delphine's hands moved back to Cosima's waist, embarrassed for some reason. "Hey, who said you could stop?" Cosima sat up before she could return to her task. Delphine felt her breaths becoming heavier as she felt Cosima unbutton her jeans, unzip them, and eventually tug them off of Delphine completely. She ran her fingers up the center of Delphine's remaining garment, causing her chest to expand with the sudden inhale.

It took her a moment, but Delphine caught her breath enough to rid Cosima of her pants and underwear, after which her own underwear were soon removed. Cosima laid her back down, sliding her thigh between Delphine's legs. The blond felt an unfamiliar chill left on her own thigh – a trail from Cosima straddling her leg. She closed her eyes tight in some attempt to keep any noise from escaping her. Cosima paused right before reaching her lips, her breath blowing across Delphine's lips.

"Delphine, if you don't want this, you can tell me. I don't want you to have regrets," Delphine opened her eyes to a nervous expression from Cosima. She may have looked apprehensive with her eyes squeezed shut, the only reason she could think of for Cosima having insecurities at this point.

"Je n'aurai aucun regret, Cosima," Delphine assured her. She looked Cosima in the eyes while her hand traversed the plains of her torso, stopping only when she found the source of the chilled trail on her leg. Cosima's eyes fluttered slightly and her exhale staggered. Her reaction alone was enough to light a fire in Delphine, which she never remembered feeling with any man. As her fingers explored Cosima's tsk-ing folds, she wondered if she was ever really attracted to men. Cosima was the first person to make her feel so strongly about anything. She couldn't imagine any other person she'd want hovering over her, panting beside her neck, moaning softly, and thrusting timidly against her fingers.

Delphine was under the impression that the wet stickiness accompanying a woman would be gross, or at least irritating. She found it to be quite the opposite, though. It wasn't any different from her own and it only represented what Cosima was feeling for her. She felt a bit of pride at the overwhelming pool she knew she had some part in producing. It gave her confidence. Enough confidence to reach down further and dip her finger into Cosima's entrance. The moan from Cosima, along with the quivering of her entire body was enough to tell Delphine she was on a good path. She tried again, two fingers, and built a rhythm to her movements. Cosima was doing over half the work anyways, so Delphine felt like all she really had to do was stay still and watch Cosima come undone.

Soon enough, come undone she did. Cosima collapsed on top of her, tucking her head under Delphine's chin to catch her breath. Delphine appreciated the reprieve since she was dazed by the event as well. She had an odd feeling of power. Not the overpowering kind of power, but something like moving power. It was an odd power because she only possessed it where Cosima gave it to her. She felt confused, but in a way that didn't need clarification to ease her mind. Is this what all sex is supposed to feel like? Why was this feeling missing from every other experience in my life?

Cosima finally lifted her head. "Delphine. What. The. Fuck?" The blond stuttered for a moment, clueless. "This is your first time with a female, right?" she nodded. "Well, no offense, but I was kind of expecting the quality to be a little bit, or fully, lacking. It doesn't appear that way, though, and I was not adequately prepared,"

"Maybe I'm just a natural?" Delphine responded awkwardly with a half-laugh. Cosima raised her eyebrow and narrowed her eyes down at the blushing woman. "Oh fine, I may have…researched".

Cosima smiled widely, the reason unbeknownst to Delphine. "Did you watch porn for me?"

Delphine shoved Cosima off of her and sat up, rolling her eyes. Cosima just laughed. "No, I didn't watch porn. I Googled it…" she got up and headed to the kitchen.

Cosima followed close behind. "That's the perfect combination of nerdy, adorable, endearing, and sexy…ner-dor-ing-exy". Delphine opened the fridge and offered Cosima a bottle of water. "And just the way you, like, elegantly strut out here all naked. You are the sole reason the sexy French stereotype exists, Delphine". Delphine rolled her eyes again and shook her head. "So, what did the trusty inter-webs say?"

Delphine leaned on the counter, attempting to remember the parts she wouldn't be embarrassed to say out loud. "Well, one blog said to just do whatever you'd do to yourself, so that sounded easy enough".

Cosima nodded, seemingly disappointed that there was no stuttering over terms and blushing cheeks. "You know, that sounds pretty accurate or whatever, but there is something…" Cosima pulled Delphine by her wrist to the couch and pushed her down. "…that you really can't do to yourself. Comfortably, at least…" she knelt in front of Delphine, bracing herself with the knees she was slotting herself between.

"Oh?" Delphine played along as best she could with a silly grin on her face. "And what might that be?"

"You know, I don't think there's a name for it yet".

"No?"

"No, I actually invented it myself, so…you know, copyright shit and patenting and stock prices or whatever," Cosima waved her hand around as she spoke.

"The hard life of an entrepreneur. I didn't know you were so innova–" Cosima put an end to their banter with an abrupt, firm kiss between Delphine's legs. What would have been a heavy exhale from Delphine was made into a moderately loud groan since she was mid-sentence when Cosima refocused their activities. Her hand moved on its own to the back of Cosima's head, perhaps pulling her in, but Delphine couldn't be sure.

Cosima slid her tongue through Delphine's centre, a feeling that Delphine was familiar with, but in a very different way. A few of her past partners had been so graciously willing to go down on her, but when they did, it didn't feel the same as how Cosima was making her feel. Their stubble scratched against her skin uncomfortably, where the subtle texture of Cosima's tongue were just the right amount of roughness to make her more sensitive. They were sloppy and undirected, where Cosima was precise and experienced.

Experienced.

Experienced, most likely, from Shay. Delphine felt a twinge of jealousy for a moment before changing her mind and viewing this as a victory over Shay. She had won. But Cosima wasn't a thing to win, so Delphine almost immediately felt bad just for thinking it. Fortunately, the thoughts were carried away when Cosima changed direction and speed. Delphine could feel a gentle sucking, forcing her fist to squeeze around Cosima's hair. She didn't seem to mind.

After a few moments, Delphine could sense her hips moving – she knew that she was probably close. She didn't want it to end, though. Only a few minutes was too soon, right? Cosima lasted at least ten minutes, but she was too excited to last even five. It was strange how aroused she felt. With the men she'd been with, her heart raced at the exercise, but with Cosima, her heart raced at the very thought of contact. That was the difference here then. The difference between Cosima and Delphine's past lovers: her past lovers weren't Cosima. Delphine thought that it had to be more than just the fact that she was a woman. It was Cosima herself.

One last stroke of Cosima's tongue brought Delphine to the peak of her high right before an arguably lovelier release. She let her body fall to the couch, one leg hanging off the side as Cosima climbed up to lay on her chest. They kept still for a while, both catching their breath. Delphine felt her eyes starting to droop. Cosima traced her fingers along Delphine's waist.

"Cosima?" she hummed a drowsy response that vibrated on Delphine's chest. "Am I gay?" Cosima snorted and stopped her tracing. She turned her head to look at Delphine with a dumb question kind of smile. "I'm serious…"

"Well, last time I checked you were just Delphine…" she didn't lose her smile, but it softened a bit.

"Okay," she knew it shouldn't matter, that it wouldn't make a difference, but it still bothered her that she couldn't tell. She didn't like women…she just liked Cosima.

After the majority of the evening passed, and both women avoided re-clothing, they ordered in and spent the night in the living room watching television and talking about anything. Delphine thought it was very similar to their first week together. She felt much more relaxed this time around, though. It was probably the most relaxed she'd been since childhood. It went beyond the relaxed feeling she had in her apartment before she met Cosima. Before the apartment felt empty when it was only Delphine present.

"Delphine…are you ever coming back?" Cosima asked quietly.

"I hope," she said automatically. If she was honest, she really wasn't sure if she would. If her mother couldn't find anyone else to help her, she would be there for at least the entirety of whoever's pregnancy, and most likely the beginning of the child's life. She may be there for years. Would Cosima forget her after so long? She wouldn't ask Cosima to wait for her if she didn't even know whether she was returning or not. "I don't want to lose you, Cosima".

The brunette rolled her eyes and laid her head on Delphine's lap, "You're not going to lose me, stupid".

Delphine believed her, and she was grateful for the reassurance, but looking down at Cosima, watching t.v., she thought that maybe Cosima believed it would be her losing Delphine.