Ever since my stay here in Dreamland, I've been fighting monsters left and right. I even stopped King Dedede's plan to destroy a forest. However, there is still one foe I have yet to conquer, and that foe's name is Boredom. I am really bored right now. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of other stuff to do around here. Like fishing, swimming, and playing games with my friends. Though, a part of me is starting to miss my Wii System and my TV. Yeah, they still don't have television here.
I've spent about a week after the whole Whispy Woods incident earning more money and doing more training with my abilities, which have improved by the way. I even finished remodeling my house. There is a tulip garden with a nice birdbath to go along with it. It would bring in a couple of beautiful birds to sing every morning. Well, as long as Tokkori isn't around to scare them off that is. I still haven't found any use for my basement however as I don't have that much to store.
Anyway, right now, I am currently just laying lazily on my lawn chair as I watch the clouds float slowly above me.
'Man, I wonder what Galaxia is doing right now.' I thought. 'Probably doing Goddess stuff of something. I wonder if she has time to hang out if I go to-'
"Hey, Kirby!"
I look away from the sky and turn to my right. Walking along the cobblestone walkway is Tuff, along with his Cappy friends. Honey, Iro, and Spikehead.
"Oh, hey, guys." I said getting off my seat. "What brings you guys to my place?"
"We were wondering if you would like to go down to the beach." Honey said.
"Yeah, we could go for a swim, and build sandcastles, and stuff." Iro added.
"I got nothing better to do." I shrug. "Sure, let's head out."
"Great, but first, let's go see if Tiff wants to join." Tuff suggests.
"Alright, just let me grab my satchel before we go."
After a while of walking, we finally made it to Tiff. She is sitting underneath a shady tree as she appears to be writing something in her book.
"Hiya, Tiff." Tuff greets as we gather around.
"What are you doing?" Honey asks pointing at her book. "Is that your homework, Tiff?"
"Can I get a copy?" Iro asks. Cheater.
"We have homework?" Tuff questions.
I raise a brow.
'I don't even know if you guys have a school here. I figured you're all homeschooled or something.'
"No, Tuff. I'm righting an essay." Tiff answers.
"Essay?"
"That's right. I'm putting down about Cappy Town and everybody."
"Oh, is that so?" I spoke. "Well, what did you write about me?"
"Describing you isn't too easy."
"Oh?"
"I'm having a little trouble thinking whether you're a brave hero who's chivalry can match a knight's, or a goofy other-worldly friend full of creativity." Tiff says giving me a knowing wink.
"Oh, wow. I am quite a mystery, aren't I?" I roll my eyes playfully.
"Yep. Other than that, I write how great it is in Cappy Town." Tiff flicks to another page. "Here, I'll read you a bit."
The young blonde clears her throat before speaking.
Even though Cappy Town doesn't have a lot like big cities have, there's lots of fun things to do here. The mom's go down to the well everyday to get water and the latest gossip. The dad's fish, even though they seem to never catch anything. And Kirby... he's really good at drawing. Maybe Cappy Town isn't too exciting, but I don't want anybody to do a single thing to change it.
The others and I gave a round of applause for the presentation. I like it when some notices my artist genius.
"Hey! There they are'a!"
We all stopped clapping and turn to see a Cappy couple coming over to us.
"Come on, we have to get home right away." The male Cappy with the Italian accent says.
"Yes, let's go, Honey." The female adds.
'Huh, I guess these two are Honey's mom and dad. Neat.'
"Is something wrong?" Tiff asks curiously.
"King Dedede is giving everyone in town a free special gift." Honey's dad explains.
"King Dedede never gave anyone anything but a headache."
"True that." I added. I can still feel his hammer hitting me in the face on the first day.
"He's giving everyone Television with 'DDD'". Honey's mom said.
My eyes widen at the news. Did I just hear her correctly?
"DDD?" My friends say in confusion.
'Dedede actually brought TV into Dreamland? For free no less?'
A part of me can tell that this was suspicious considering the fact that he's giving Television out with no fees. Doesn't he need the money to get more monsters from Nightmare Enterprise to come after me?
'Alright, I want to check this out.'
"Come on, guys. Make some room."
I say as I squeeze between Tiff and Tuff. We are hiding in a bush at the center of Cappy Town. In front of us is a wagon with a large stack of TV crates. They were being lifted up and carried off into different homes by the Waddle Dees. Standing on top of the wagon is another mini-monster known as Waddle Doo. He was short and orange like the other Waddle Dees, but he had only one big eye and was wielding a sword. He was currently directing the Waddle Dees that are carrying the TV's. He must be the Lead Captain or something.
'I wonder if I could turn into Beam Kirby if I inhale him.'
"Let's go, guys! Speed it up! We need to get a TV set in every house in town!" Waddle Doo barks out orders. Even though he doesn't have a mouth. Strange.
"Something is not right here." Tiff said taking a step back.
"Well, we are not going to figure this out by just standing here. Come on." I said
We waited a bit before following a pair of Waddle Dees carrying the last TV set. We ended up going to Iro's house looking through their window as the Waddle Dees started setting up the set. I got to say I'm not impress. The TV itself looks like one of those old fashion TV's with the wooden stand and antennas. Anyways, the family inside took their seats in the living room, unaware of us three spying on them.
"It's almost time. The broadcast is about start any minute." Iro's dad said.
"Oh, this is so exciting." Iro's mom adds.
The three of us step away from the window.
"The King is up to something. Something sneaky." Tiff said.
"Hey, Tiff. Do you thing Dedede gave mom and dad a free TV set too?" Tuff questions.
"Maybe, who cares?"
"I do!"
With that, Tuff turns around and makes a beeline towards the castle. Probably to watch the Television with Sir Ebrum and Lady Like. Tiff on the other hand just huff as she crosses her arms in disappointment.
"You can't really blame him, Tiff." I said. "A boy his age tends to become curious about new things."
Tiff sighs. "I know, Toby, but what's so great about Television?"
"There are all sorts of things, Tiff. TV's are the biggest entertainments in the media. My world has lots of them. I'm surprised yours has them as well though."
"Please tell me you humans don't actually do nothing but watch TV."
"Well... I'm not going to speak for everyone, but I say about 60-79% of the people of my world owns a TV."
That didn't seem to lighten Tiff's mood.
"However, who's to say that this DDD Channel is good? I mean, what does Dedede know about entertainment anyway?"
"I guess." Tiff groans.
"Oh, it's about to start!"
Both me and Tiff heard Iro said from inside. We went back to look through the window. The family inside still don't know they are being spied on.
"-5... 4... 3... 2... 1..." They counted down.
Soon enough, the TV automatically turns on as the screen show the animation intro. What else is that we start to hear Escargoon talking in the background.
Escargoon:
"This is the world premiere of Dreamland Television! Channel DDD!"
The scene changes as red curtains with King Dedede's face. It opens up to reveal the fatso himself wearing a bit more formal attire.
King Dedede:
"HEY! Hello, Dreamland! Triple D here! Welcome to DDD!
The family watching this gave their round of applause while me and Tiff just look on unamused.
King Dedede:
"Well at long last! I bring Dreamland the miracle of Television to brighten your bleak and boring lives! So get ready for action adventure you got to see! Your channel news spilled by DDD! With gut-busting laughs I'm sure you'll agree! The price is right, you'll get it free!"
Dedede stops his banter and starts waving as an audio of a cheering audience plays in the background. Typical in the TV world.
Escargoon:
"We'll have more of King Dedede later, but for right now, we will show a preview of our side-splitting Cappy Town Comedy Showcase!"
"You like comedy, mom?" Iro asks.
"I did married your father, didn't I?" She response.
I just roll my eyes for the cliché quote.
Escargoon:
"And now, DDD proudly presents our goofy pink pest and everyone's favorite tyrant, the crazy comedy duos of Kirby and the King!"
Soon enough, the screen shows King Dedede holding an ugly and very poorly made puppet version of me. Tiff gasps while I just look on surprised... and a bit offended.
'What. The. Fuck?'
King Dedede:
"Hey, Kirby. Do you think you can help me? Loads of people have been asking, who's the dopiest blob in Cappy Town?"
Puppet Kirby/Me:
"Kirby."
King Dedede:
"And who is the ugliest?"
Puppet Kirby/Me:
"Kirby."
King Dedede:
"And who is the most puniest?"
Puppet Kirby/Me:
"Kirby."
King Dedede:
"And who do I just want to stomp on?"
Puppet Kirby/Me:
"Kirby!"
Kind Dedede then throws puppet me onto the ground and proceeds to jump on him/me while an audio of a crowd laughing plays and puppet me repeatedly says 'Kirby!'. Iro's family laugh as they watch our so-called comedy segment.
"Great, Dedede's using his TV channel to make Toby look like a dummy." Tiff grumbles to herself.
'What the fuck?!' My thoughts repeated. 'This is so humiliating!'
"Ha, ha! Kirby is goof!" Iro laughs.
'Shut up, Iro!'
The scene changes with Escargoon standing behind a podium with a large screen next to him.
Escargoon:
"Here are some shows that will have you stuck to your viable recliners. At seven, see adventures of that very heavy-weight, crime fighter, '3-D Man'!"
The screen shows an image of buff version of King Dedede in an orange superhero outfit.
"At seven-thirty, watch as contestants compete for cash and prizes in 'Wheel of Head-Wounds'!"
The screen shows a video of Dedede, who's wearing a yellow suit, smacking Escargoon on the head with a thick folded piece of paper.
"Then at eight, the staffs of 'DR' confronts an outbreak of hernias. Bad ones."
It shows Dedede as a doctor and Esargoon as a nurse in a cliché hospital drama setting.
"Next, the Far East meets the Old Wild West when 'King of the Kitchen' cooks beef jerky hoagie."
Scene changes to Dedede in a chef costume as he present... well, I don't know what it was. It looked more like burnt goop surprise or something.
"Then at nine-thirty, the 'Snail Hunter' searches for my long lost brother!"
King Dedede is now looking at a snail that is chilling on a leaf through a magnifying glass. Wait, does Escargoon really have a brother?
"Attend the crew of the SSD-A-Prize as they deal with some intense motion sickness on 'DDDeep Space Nine'!"
It's Dedede and Escargoon starring in a ripoff version of Star Trek.
"Tonight's late night moves features 'Glob-Zilla I'!"
Another movie ripoff as Godzilla is played by Dedede.
"In the late late movie is 'King Klong vs. The Uastun Astros'."
Yet, another movie ripoff with King King, who is played by Dedede, against space aliens. Which happens to have the same name of a baseball team. Weird.
"...Stay where you are. We will be back after this..."
With that, Escargoon falls limp as he huffs. He announce the whole broadcasting schedule in one breath. Nevertheless, Iro's family finds it amusing as they enjoy the... programing. A few product commercials shows before changing back to Dedede waging to the nonexisting audience as confetti shows him.
"Maybe some people would rather waste their lives watching this TV junk, but we have better things to do! Right, Toby?"
"..."
"Toby?"
I paid Tiff no attention as I comprehend on what I just saw. I was half-hoping that Dedede's channel would be at least a little deceit. However, that ship has sail as I see nothing but a bunch of cheap ripoff versions of TV shows and movies that I've seen back on Earth. Though, the one I'm more pissed about is the total slander that fat-fuck did on me. Now people are going to talk about the "goofy Star Warrior" that lives near Cappy Town. I was thinking of suing, but knowing Dedede, he would bend the laws to his favor.
"I'm going to Samo's." I said as I get down from the window and started heading to the juice bar.
Okay, it's official. TV has taken over Cappy Town. When I went to Samo's bar, I found him watching Channel DDD. He barely paid any attention to me when I ordered a glass of sparkling cider. Feeling unwanted, I left and went over to grocery store. I find both Tuggle and Gengu glued to the TV set as they watch more of Channel DDD. They too did not pay attention to me. I even went as far as taking a few bags of candy and sweets and walk next to the exit. STILL they don't notice me. Whatever, jokes on them, I just gotten some yummy treats for free.
Funny thing is, as I walked out of store, a Cappy with a goatee notice me carrying a bag of unpaid snacks. Instead of alerting the authorizes, he straight up went inside and ran back out with his own bag of food too unnoticed. I figured Chief Bookem would be around to arrest us both of us. Then again, he is probably at home with his wife Buttercup watching TV.
'Welp, I just committed my very first crime in shoplifting.'
After going home and putting away my stolen goods, I decided to go for a stroll. It was evening as the sun is setting close over the horizon.
'What the heck am I going to do now.' I thought. 'Everyone is too busy watching TV to do anything. Heck, I won't be able to play with my friends as they too are doing nothing. Well, except for Tiff. I wondering where is she.'
I look up to see Castle Dedede sitting on the top of the mountain.
'I know this might be a stupid idea, but maybe I could get my own segment on Channel DDD. Since this whole TV situation is going to be a thing, I can at least contribute by providing better programs that the stuff I've scene- OOF!.'
My train of thoughts were interrupted when something rammed right into me. I look up to see Tiff right on top of me.
"Tiff, what's the rush?" I said getting up.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Toby." She replies as I help her up. "I'm just so frustrated that everyone is so into Television."
"Yeah, I've seen that lately."
"Say, how come you're not watching like everybody else? Didn't you say your world has them too?"
"I did say that, Tiff, and I would like to sit back and enjoy watching TV a home. However, I ain't going to watch any ripoff Dedede is showing."
"So, what were you doing before I came?"
"I was actually planning on going to the castle and ask if I could have my own show."
Tiff groans. "Oh, no. Don't tell me you want to be apart of this too!"
"Look, I know it's a dumb idea, but there's nothing we can do about this. Everybody is too into the whole Television thing because it's new. Trust me, it will get old soon. I mean, what other ideas does Dedede have for Channel DDD? The least I can do is show something beneficial."
"Like what?" She sighs.
"Well, I could start my own cartoon since I'm really skilled in drawing. That, or I could show Cappy Town some music from my world."
"Hmm... I guess that could be good to watch." Tiff suddenly realizes something. "Have you seen Tuff around?"
"No, I haven't seen him. He is probably still back at the castle watching Channel DDD."
"I hope my family isn't watching it too." She says hopefully.
"Well, let's go find out."
I reach into my satchel, which I always carry with me mind you, and picked out a feather. I devour the little quill before changing into Wing Kirby.
"Come on. We can get to your family's quarters faster this way."
Tiff accepts the offer before I go over and pick her up as we head our way to the castle.
"Way to go! Knock him out, Dr. D! Yeah!"
Well, Tiff's last hope plummeted. I dropped us off at her family's balcony, we saw them watching Channel DDD. It is showing a mecha version of King Dedede fighting another giant robot, and winning it too. Typical.
"Oh, no." Tiff said dejected.
"I'm sorry, Tiff." I shook my head. "Looks like we lost them."
Tiff ignored my comment and went inside.
"Daddy, if you watch this junk, you'll rot away you brain cells."
"Well, I haven't been using any of my brain cells anyway." Sir Ebrum shrugged.
'Who said you had any to begin with?' I grumbly thought as I too enter the living room.
The TV loudly shows Dr. D tearing the other robot a new one as he beats the crap out of it.
"You can go ahead and waste your time if you want to, not me!" Tiff said crossing her arms.
"Then why don't you go read another one of you dumb books then!" Tuff retorts all they while focusing on the fight on the screen. "Now you got him, Dr. D!"
"Can't you see this is another one of Dedede's schemes?!"
"Shush, darling." Lady Like spoke. "It's getting to the good part."
I stood there shaking my head more in pity as Tiff continues to try and get everyone to stop watching TV with little success. Before she could go on any further, I go over and grab her wrist.
"Tiff... let's go..." I said sadly.
She looks between me and her family before sighing. Defeated, her and me leave the room and into the halls silently.
Me and Tiff walked down the along barley lit castle hallway as we pass by a couple of Waddle Dees doing their duties now and then.
"My parents are couch potatoes." Tiff says hanging her head.
"Aw, cheer up, Tiff." I wrap a wing around her. "I'm sure they'll get bored of it later on... eventually."
She just sighs, but at least appreciates my efforts. I however am genuinely sorry for her. Even though people will get tired of watching TV, she will be left alone in the mean time.
Laughter~
Our silence were interrupted by what sounds like a crowd of people of laughing. We look to our right to find a door. Tiff goes over to said door and listens. More laughter was heard inside. Without warning, Tiff busts through and gasps at what she saw.
"It can't be!"
I go into the room to find, to my surprise, Sword, Blade, and Meta Knight are too watching Channel DDD. I guess this room is their quarters.
"Please, Meta Knight! Don't tell me you like Channel DDD too!"
Meta Knight chuckles. "King Dedede may be a despicable dictator, but you have to admit. He has some funny shtick."
"Ugh, I heard two things funnier than King Dedede." Tiff said sourly. "Please, he has got to be up to something."
Ping~
The TV suddenly gives off a ping noise before changing from what Meta and his comrades were watching to some sort of news broadcast with Dedede standing behind a podium.
King Dedede:
"This here is an important News Bulletin! A giant monster have been spotted stomping and chomping our way!"
Me and everyone in the room was surprised by this. Another monster is here in Dreamland? Did King Dedede ordered another one?
King Dedede:
"Lets go LIVE!"
The scene changes as it shows a silhouette of a giant skinny figure. It comes closer in view of the camera to reveal a humongous purple slug monster.
Slug Monster:
"Roar!"
Tiff was startled by the monster as she yelps.
Slug Monster:
"Kirby! Kirby!
King Dedede:
"You all hear that? This critter is coming here because it's looking for Kirby!"
Slug Monster:
"Kirby! Roar!"
"It's weird that the monster shows up on the same day as the Tele's." Sword points out.
"Oy, sir. You're right." Blade said. I barely understood him with his rough British accent.
"And why would it want... Kirby?" Meta Knight adds.
"It's it obvious, Meta Knight?" I said stepping forward. "It wants to destroy me! That thing is most likely been ordered by Dedede!"
I turn around and face the exit.
"I got to stop that thing! You're welcome to join in the action."
With that, I run out of the room and into the hallway where I jumped out of a window and took flight.
I flew high in the sky as I search for the monster. So far, I found nothing. In fact, nothing was wrong. From as far as I could see, there was no monster in sight. Dreamland is as peaceful as it was before.
'What the hell? Where's the monster?' I thought. 'I would of figured a monster that big would be easy to spot.'
I continue to fly around Dreamland through the night in search of the sluggish behemoth. Nothing. There was still no monster in sight.
'Something is definitely wrong here.'
Just when I was about to turn around and find Tiff, I see something in the corner of my view. It was a bright light showing off in the distance. Curious, I go down and land near the source. Soon, I was shocked at what I see. It was the citizens of Cappy Town. They were all holding pitchforks and torches.
"Uh, what is everyone doing?" I ask.
They turn their gaze towards me.
"There he is!" Chief Bookem, who was part of the crowd, shouts out.
"Kirby must go away!" A random Cappy also shouts.
"Kirby must go away! Kirby must go away!" The entire mob chants.
I took a step back cautiously. Something is not right here. They way they say, it was like they were zombies. Not to mention, but their eyes are pitch white instead of their normal black.
"Get him!"
My eyes widen as I took flight and flew away from the mob. I was able to out fly them as they were too slow to run with me. However, as I flew away, so many questions were going through my head.
'What the fuck is going on?! First Dedede announces that there is a monster on a rampage, yet there is none spotted. Now, the Cappies want me gone all of a sudden. I need to find Tiff.'
Luck was on my side tonight as I see the blonde girl herself below me looking around. Probably looking for me I bet.
"Hey, Tiff!" I shouted.
She looks up and sees me flying towards her. She seems relieved to see me.
"Toby! Thank goodness I found you." Tiff says as I land. "Have you seen the monster?"
"No, there is no monster, Tiff. I've looked everywhere for it. Something is not right here."
"Yeah, I think there is something fishy going on here. Did you notice the Cappies are acting strange? I passed by them no too long ago.
"Notice them? They were chasing after me!"
"Well, let's go over to your house. It should be safer there and we can figure this out."
I nod as I take us both to my dwelling, while avoiding being spotted by the mob.
It didn't take long for us to reach my home. Though, when we landed, I noticed that the lights were turned on inside.
'He can't possibly still be watching TV, is he?' I thought as I open the door.
Well, I've got my answer. The sourly bird known as Tokkori is still watching Channel DDD.
"Yeah! Atta boy, King Dedede! You can do it!"
He seems to be cheering on for Dedede. What?
"What?" I said uncertain as I take a peek at the screen.
"Huh?! Hey, Kirby! Get lost! That monster is still looking for- GAH!"
Tiff didn't let him finish as she pushes him out of the way and gets besides me. On the screen shows King Dedede and Escargoon in their tank.
King Dedede:
"Okay, Monster! Come get me!"
Slug Monster:
"Roar!"
The large monster suddenly starts spitting fire at the villains. The duo dodges the oncoming attack and drives forward. Dedede then starts rapidly shooting at the monster with his cannon and somehow lands shots at monster's face. The monster retaliates by shooting another wave of flames. The Dedede and Escargoon make a quick U-turn and once again dodge the attack.
King Dedede:
"Guess I'm going to have to fight it in Cappy Town! If it wasn't for Kirby, we all would have been safe!"
Okay, now I know that this is a fucking joke. When does Dedede have ever cared about Cappy Town? Also, I noticed that Escargoon hasn't said anything during the broadcast, and he's only looking straight forward. You would think he would give at least a small reaction to their current situation.
"This whole 'Dedede fighting a giant monster' nonsense is even more fishier than an aquarium." Tiff commented.
"I know." I reply. "I mean, when did Dedede started caring for the safety of everyone besides himself?"
Suddenly, the screen shows that the slug monster is just about to ram its way straight into my house. Yep, that proves it. This whole 'monster on the loose' bullshit was indeed utter bullshit. Tokkori however believes at what he sees as he starts to panic.
"Oh, no! The monster found out that Kirby is hiding in here! We're goners! It's sayonara-GAH!"
Having enough of the bird's annoying banter, Tiff snatches Tokkori in her grasp.
"Let's go see!"
She runs outside and shows Tokkori of the oncoming monster.
"Hey, the monster skedaddled." Tokkori said surprised. "He's gone."
"It was never here. The whole monster thing was a hoax."
"But we saw it on the TV."
"This is what's real!" Tiff yells in Tokkori's face. "Why isn't it here, because it's fake!"
"She's right." I said stepping outside. "I'm not sure how, but Kind Dedede is using some sort of special effects to make it more believable."
"Don't believe everything you see on the Television Set, my friend."
We all turn to see, to our surprise, Meta Knight.
"Meta Knight." I greeted. "Came to investigate the missing monster case as well?"
He nods. "I have searched all of Cappy Town. There is no monster."
"Just as I suspected."
"Indeed. Come, you two must follow me to the castle."
Me and Tiff turn to each other before nodding. Since I was still in my Wing Kirby form, I flew over and picked up Tiff. I offered a ride for Meta Knight, be he declined, saying that he has his own way of getting around. I shrugged before I took flight with Tiff in my grasp. However, as I flew away from my home, I too a glance back at Meta Knight just in time to see him sprouting bat-like wings and taking flight in the night sky. I grin as I see him blending into the darkness as he flies way much faster than me.
The trip didn't last long as me and Tiff made it to castle. However, I had to land in a more secluded part of the court yard as there were more guards patrolling last time I was here. I even had to discard my Wing Kirby form so that I wouldn't draw any attention with my large wings. Anyway, Tiff guided us through the hallway until we finally made it to her family's quarters. When we entered, I just deadpanned as both the couple and sibling was watching Dedede's heroic act in saving Cappy Town from the so-called monster.
"Uh, ahem!"
I got their attention for once as they gasp from my presence. Tuff was the first to respond by jumping off his seat on the couch and come marching towards me.
"Kirby must go away!" He pointed.
"Those dumb shows must of made your brain go away!" Tiff backed me up. Thanks, Tiffy.
"If you don't believe me, the look! It's on TV!"
"Just because it's on TV, doesn't mean it's real. And we are going to prove it!"
"We will?" Tuff said uncertain.
Just then, the door behind us opens up to reveal Meta Knight. He sudden appearance startles Tiff a bit.
"Excuse me." He greets.
"Meta Knight, you had me scared there for a second." Tiff sighs.
"Did you find something, Meta?" I ask.
He nods. "Something is going down in the dungeons, where Dedede keeps his TV Studio. He is hiding something."
"Is there a way to get in?"
"I will create a diversion and distract the guards. You three will head down there and investigate."
Me and my friends gave our own agreement before we headed down to source of our problem.
After a couple twists and turns, along with going down a long spiral stone staircase, we made it to the dungeon. However, we notice that there is a "ON AIR" sign lighten up above the door frame.
"This must be it." I said slightly opening the door.
When we peeked in, my friends gasped at what they see. The room we are looking in is very large as it had a lot of TV broadcasting equipment everywhere. There were cameras, spotlights, and sets. Speaking of sets, there was a miniature model of Cappy Town with the monster in normal sized. It was giving off lame roars as Waddle Dees record the whole thing and messing with dials and such. Probably to filter out the roars to make it sound more real and fearsome like on TV.
'So this is how the were making their act and the monster look so real.' I thought.
Suddenly I see King Dedede himself walking by near the set.
"And~ CUT!" He shouts. "We are going into commercial. Now I want more smoke for the next scene, and Escargoon, act more a little more monster-like."
Soon enough, the REAL Escargoon comes popping out of the slug monster. He was acting out in a costume!
"I'm so not ready for my close up." He said catching his breath while sweating. Must be hot in the costume.
"Alright, get into places for the next act." Dedede said as he climbs into his tank that was on the other side of the room. "Get that projector going and let's get this show on the road!"
As ordered, a Waddle Dee turns on a nearby projector as it projects moving image of the Cappy Town background.
"Okay! Cue the model tank!"
Another Waddle Dee did as it was told and proceeds to drive a mini version of tank with a controller on the set Escargoon was on. The cameras angled themselves as they capture the moment.
"You don't scare me none!" Dedede shouts playing his part. "You can wreck the whole town looking for Kirby, I will do whatever I can to defeat you!"
In the corner of my eyes, I see another room nearby. Curious, I sneak my way past the Waddle Dees without getting noticed and head inside. My eyes widen as I see that it was the main TV control room. However, I am more shocked to see that there were monitors that were showing Cappies sitting together in their homes looking straight at me. I then realized that everyone of those TV's Dedede gave away has some sort of hidden camera. He could just easily spy on anybody who decides to turn on their TV sets.
'Okay, now this is a major violation of privacy you fat creepy fuck!' I thought angrily. 'I got to remember to fix my TV set and get rid of the bug when this is all over.'
Just then, I start to hear feedback of the Cappies that are watching this garbage Dedede is playing in.
"I guess the King isn't such a bad guy if he's risking his life to save us." One Cappy comments.
"He's not hiding like Kirby." Another adds.
Now I'm really fuming. At this rate, King Dedede is going to ruin my reputation as a Star Warrior and make his sorry-ass look like the hero.
'It's too bad I left my satchel back at the house. Otherwise I could of used that spare claw-piece to really turn this scene into an all out monster fight.'
I get out of the control room and started running towards the set Escargoon is playing in.
'Ah, well. I'll just have to improvise... with song!'
I ran past the Waddle Dees and jumped right onto the set, surprising Escargoon.
"Huh?! What's he doing here?!" Dedede exclaims.
I ignored him as I take a breath and began my performance.
(Insert* "Cuphead - Die House" here)
Kirby/Toby:
I'm Mr. King Dice.
I'm the game'st in the land.
I never play nice.
I'm the Devil's right hand man.
I can't let you past.
'Cause you ain't done everything.
Bring me those contracts.
Come on, bring 'em to the King.
If you haven't finished your task.
Haven't worked assiduously.
No, I cannot let you past.
Don't you mess with me!
Don't mess with King Dice.
(Don't mess with King Dice!)
Don't mess with me.
(Don't mess with him!)
Don't mess with King Dice.
(Don't mess with King Dice!)
Don't you mess with me!
I have no idea where the chorus was coming from, but I didn't care as I was really getting into the song!
I'm Mr. King Dice.
Heed just what I say.
The Devil has his price.
And I'll make sure you pay.
I don't have time to mess 'around.
And I hope you will agree.
Bring me those contracts, pronto!
Don't you mess with me!
Don't mess with King Dice!
(Don't mess with King Dice!)
Don't mess me!
(Don't mess with him!)
Don't mess with King Dice!
(Don't mess with King Dice!)
Don't you mess with me! Yeah!
(End of song)
When I was done singing my piece, the entire room and it's occupants were silent as they were stunned by my sudden performance. Well, for a moment. King Dedede was the first to respond.
"Kick him out!" He orders. "This is a closed set!"
"Kirby just proved that your monster battle is bogus!" Tiff intervenes.
"Shut off that camera!"
The Waddle Dees behind said camera did as they were told. I jump off the set make my way to my friends. Dedede though was no looking happy at all.
"You gave everyone TV so they could turn against Kirby!" Tiff accused.
Dedede laughs. "You got that right, girly. Though they ain't gonna find that out."
Suddenly, a large cage falls from above us and traps us where we stand. Tiff was he first to recover.
"Let us out of here!"
"No can do, sweetie-cakes." Escargoon mockingly says.
"You might burn our ratings." Dedede adds as he and the snail did a little victory dance I guess.
"That does it!" Tiff turns to me. "Kirby, suck up everything in this dumb studio!"
I give an evil smirk as I step forward.
"With pleasure."
I open up my mouth and began inhaling. Soon enough, nearly all the equipment and gears within the studio came flying towards us along with the Waddle Dees and tonight's villains.
"Sire, the studio has gone down with the wind!" Escargoon says from the wreckage.
"Now that there's a low blow!" Dedede replies.
I role my eyes at the terrible puns. Tiff steps up to me.
"Alright, Kirby. That's enough. You can stop now."
I comply as I cease my inhaling. Everything in the studio was piled up against our cage. Said cage was also damaged as there is a large gap big enough for us to get through.
"Woah, nice going, Kirby." Tuff compliments.
"Tuff, can you work with the camera?" Tiff asks.
Tuff smiles. "Watch me!"
After a few minutes of fumbling with the camera, we were LIVE.
Tiff:
"This is a Special Report. These pictures prove that King Dedede faked the monster on TV so that we all turn against Kirby."
Kirby/Toby:
"That's right. I ain't no coward! Nor am I a lazy bum like the one you see laying on the floor here."
Tiff:
"Kirby is the real hero!"
Escargoon:
"I'm just glad it's over. That costume was vile."
We turn to face the camera towards Escargoon.
Kirby/Toby:
"Mr. Escargoon, tell us why you dress up as monster and helped King Dedede pose as a hero-wannabe."
Escargoon responds by trying to cover his face.
Escargoon:
"Please, no. Mama might see me."
King Dedede meanwhile gets ups furiously and faces the camera.
King Dedede:
"That kid got it all wrong! This here is a king-sized misunderstanding!"
Unbeknownst to Dedede, we censored his face as it looks blurry.
King Dedede:
"Any advancement situation is depicted of our Channel DDD is purely fictional!
King Dedede/Escargoon:
"What's a channel for you and me? It's Channel DD-"
However, we didn't let them finish as we turn off the camera and leave the studio. Well, Tiff and Tuff did. I on the other hand grabbed a couple of things before I too left.
It was now morning as everything was back to the way things were. From what I heard from Tuff, him and his Cappy friends are back to playing outside. Many of the Cappies in town too went back to their daily routines as they did before the whole TV mess happened. Right now, I was in my basement installing my newest assets.
"Okay, and~ DONE!"
I took a step back and admire my work. I turned my useless basement into my very own music studio with equipment I borrowed from Channel DDD. While I wasn't kidding that I could make a cartoon and put it on TV, I am starting to like the idea of sing LIVE even better. Heck, I even discovered my new power, Mike Kirby after swallowing a microphone. Don't ask why, I was just curious if it worked, which it did. With Mike Kirby, I can not only create/mimic music of my choice, but I can manipulate my voice to sound like another person.
Once I get my first gig going in the TV world, I can show off many good songs from my world.
"Now this is a great morning."
Knock Knock Knock
I then heard knocking on my door. Curious, I climb up the ladder that leads to the main floor of my small house and open the door. Who it was made me chuckle nervously.
"Uh, g-good morning, gentlemen." I greeted sheepishly.
In front of me is Chief Bookem and Tuggle. They do not look happy.
"Hey, Kirby. I would like to take a look at your refrigerator." Chief Bookem says.
"S-sure thing, officer."
It was probably a mistake to address him so formally because he gives me a suspicious glance. Anyway, he shifts his way into my home and looks inside my mini fridge. It reveals the stolen goodies I've taken from the grocery store. Chief Bookem gives me a disappointed look.
"Sorry, Kirby, but I got to run you in."
"How did you even know?!"
"Oh, that's simple." Tuggle joins in. "After checking inventory this morning, I found that a few items were missing. So, I checked the security footage we have hidden in the store and for two bad apples taking things from me."
He must be talking about that goatee Cappy from the other day. Did they snatch him up too?
"L-Look, I'm sorry for stealing!" I pleaded. "Please, what if I just pay for the goodies right now?"
"That's acceptable." Tuggle agreed. "However, as punishment for stealing in the first place, you are banned from buying any sweets for two weeks."
I lips quiver as I go over to my satchel and pick out a fifty, and give it to the store manager.
"Welp, I say now we are even. See you next time, Kirby." Tuggle chuckles as he and Chief Bookem leave my house.
I stood there for a moment before going over to the mini fridge and grab a cookie. I proceeded to eat the treat while I whimper. Two weeks without more treat... I'll never make it.
(Insert TF2 - "You Failed!" Sound Effect here)
_Author's Notes_
Hey, this is Tiff here. Toby can't be here at the moment as he is... mourning the loss of his favorite treats? Sigh, what a Drama Queen. Anyway, what will come of Toby's new music station? What is King Dedede's next scheme in getting rid of Kirby? Find out next time on "Toby Right Back At Ya!"! Wow, it sound pretty exciting when you say it like that.