Chapter 3: Diagon Alley is a pun, in case you missed it.
It was time for the annual shopping trip for school supplies, and Harry was eager for it to happen. Not only was he missing Hermione's presence, but Lucius would be handing him a Horcrux on a silver platter. If his plan had any merit, it might just lead to all the others, even ignoring the fact Harry would keep the chamber from re-opening.
"Sirius wrote to let us know he'd meet us at Gringotts," Molly said. "I do hope he's well, what that man must have gone through…"
"We'll see him soon enough," Arthur said calmingly. "Perhaps he'll come round for tea sometime?"
"Oh, of course! I'll make sure to ask. Oh, remind me to pick up some floo powder while we're there, we're running low. Everyone through, now."
Harry had no plans to visit Knockturn Alley this time. Though perhaps he should get Sirius to buy the vanishing cupboard from Borgin. It could be useful in all sorts of ways… He would have to ponder the idea later though, as he took a pinch of powder and boldly stepped into the fire.
Another horrible wizarding transportation later, he managed to barely stumble into Diagon Alley, just in time for the twins to grab him by the shoulders.
"Thanks. I'm going to have to invent an anti-stumbling bracelet or something at this rate."
"Not a bad idea, actually, you're not the only one who disagrees with floo travel."
"You do have an awfully bad case of it though," the other twin commented.
The rest of the Weasleys appeared shortly, and they all headed towards Gringotts.
"Harry! Molly, Arthur! It's been a while." Sirius was waiting on the steps.
Harry ran up and hugged his Godfather.
"Yes. It has, I'm so sorry-" Arthur began.
"No, none of that. Today should be fun. I'm looking forwards, not back."
Mr and Mrs Weasley nodded. It wasn't something they should discuss in front of the children anyway.
They proceeded inside. "I've already got your funds, Harry," Sirius said, handing him a small pouch.
"Thanks. I was kind of looking forward to more cart rides though."
"Harry! Ron!" A cry from across the bank cut the discussion off, as Hermione sped over.
"It feels like forever already, doesn't it!" She said, pulling the two into a hug.
"Missed you too," Harry replied. "Almost as much as I miss air."
Hermione snorted, but let go.
"I suppose by your description that this is the one responsible for the books?"
Mr. Granger walked up, followed by an amused Mrs. Granger.
"I'm never going to live that down, am I?" Harry asked.
"I told you to keep doing it until they think it's normal," Hermione stage whispered loud enough for them all to hear.
Sirius chuckled. "Would it help if I claimed it's an old wizarding tradition?"
"Not if you use the word 'claimed', I should think," Arthur said. "Arthur Weasley, my wife Molly, and my brood. You must be Hermione's parents."
"Emma Granger; please excuse Dan, he's been looking forward to bullying a child all day," she pressed forward and shook hands.
"You're not making it easier, honey."
"You'll have to manage somehow."
"Sirius Black, Harry's godfather, and international man of mystery." He shook hands as well. "What's this about books, Harry?" Sirius asked.
"Apparently it's not normal to buy a friend a dozen school books for christmas, no matter how well received they might be," Harry explained.
"Nine school books and three ex-school books, actually. Our new defense professor must be a fan of Mr. Lockhart. The history text changed as well."
Arthur moaned. "I can't believe how many books we have to buy for one subject."
"Oh hush, they're very good books, and it's for their education," Molly disagreed.
Harry blinked. He had kind of hoped that telling Dumbledore that Lockhart was a fraudulent serial-obliviator would have knocked him out of the running for professor.
"Well, they're certainly… fantastic," Arthur managed. "Why don't I go make our withdrawal? No need in everyone being subjected to the cart system."
Harry sighed. "The one method of transport other than broom I enjoy, and… Sirius, if I become an accountant, do you think I'd spend a lot of time on the mine carts?"
"Not more than over a ledger book, I'd reckon."
The children and adults split apart as the conversations drifted.
"I wonder who they managed to get as a DADA professor this year," Percy asked. "It doesn't seem to be a position blessed with success."
"That, and they needed a replacement for Professor Binns as well," Harry said. "A lot of staff churn."
"What happened to Binns?" Fred asked. He was wearing a large "F" pin on his chest at the insistence of Molly. Harry gave it even odds that it had already been switched with the "G" the other twin had. He was sure that if it hadn't by now, it would before the day was through.
"I overheard some discussion. Apparently the Headmaster and House Heads finally noticed that he can't teach. I don't actually know what's happening, but it sounded like there were preparations for a new teacher."
Percy's mouth was wide open. "That's astounding news! I suppose it explains the change in the history book requirement as well."
"Did you not look at the list Harry?" Hermione asked.
"Not in any detail, no. Who does?"
Percy, Hermione and George all raised their hands.
Fred gave his brother a questioning look.
"I wanted to know what potion ingredients we wouldn't need to buy 'extra'."
Fred's eyes lit up in understanding and nodded, patting his brother on the shoulder. "Good show!"
They continued to catch up until Arthur returned.
"All right, here's a bit of spending money. I want you all in Flourish and Blotts in an hour to buy your books, understood? Ginny, you need a few more things, including your wand."
Ginny grinned, "Finally!"
"Right. One hour. Joke shop?" George asked his twin.
"Right." The twins ran off.
"And don't you take one step into Knockturn Alley!" Molly shouted after them.
"What's Knockturn Alley?" Mr. Granger asked.
"It's where the seedy underbelly of the local magic culture has been confined too," Sirius explained. "Imagine the rumors about Soho during its heyday, only magical, and slightly less red-light-districty." He frowned. "Magic is capable of really amazing things, but it can do seedy spectacularly well."
Mrs. Granger sighed. "I suppose it was foolish to think magic would solve societal problems."
"I'm in the mood for ice cream, how about you two?" Harry asked.
"Sounds good!" Hermione said, setting off already.
"I can get behind that," Ron shouted, catching up.
••••••••••
The entire group reconvened outside the book shop. They were by no means alone, a large group of mostly middle aged women and a few families trying to get inside.
"Oh my," Molly said upon seeing the sign. "Mr. Lockhart is actually here!"
"Joy of joys," Sirius mumbled. He had heard some of the highlights from Harry already, and wasn't looking forward to this.
The group got into line, with varying levels of eagerness or trepidation, and finally made it into the store. A photographer was dancing around, taking endless photos of Lockhart signing books for customers. As they moved closer, he nearly walked into Harry.
"Watch it. This is for the paper, kid!"
"You should watch where you're walking then."
Gilderoy looked up and did a double-take upon seeing Harry. "Is that Harry Potter?"
Having expected it this time made it much easier to be manhandled by the manic attention hound, as he was quickly dragged in front of the signing table.
"Smile for the paper, Harry!" Lockhart said under his breath, "Together we should be worth front page!"
Harry managed to not roll his eyes, though it took considerable effort, and instead tried for a confused weak grin.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he said loudly, waving for quiet. "What an extraordinary moment this is! The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement I've been sitting on for some time!"
He waited the perfect amount of time for the applause to die down, and Harry couldn't help but be impressed with his showmanship. His true talents were wasted, somewhere a late night show was missing its compare.
"When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted me to sign his school books — which I shall be happy to present him now, free of charge. He had no idea that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, Magical Me. He and his schoolmates will, in fact, be getting the real magical me! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that this September, I will be taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"
The crowd cheered and applauded as Harry was provided Lockhart's entire range of books, which must have weighed a stone and a half, with Lockhart signing Magical Me and adding it to the top of the pile.
Harry staggered off under the weight, and tipped the pile into Ginny's new potions cauldron. "Here, I'll buy my own."
"Now for Lucious to slip his master's toy into the pile, and give me my first victory," Harry thought.
"Ah, Harry, you won't have to buy anything. In fact, none of your peers will be buying Defence Against the Dark Arts books this year."
Harry turned to see Lucious standing in front of the table, Gilderoy looking slightly peeved at the interruption.
"Whatever do you mean, Mr. Malfoy?" asked Lockhart from behind a suspicious glare.
"Word reached the ears of the school board that this years book list was rather long. In fact, between yourself and the other changes this year, the required texts have almost doubled. So I have an announcement of my own to make. Any new textbook required for this year's history or DADA courses are being covered by myself and the other school board members. The store's proprietor has already been briefed, and please tell anyone who has already purchased their books that they can bring in receipts for a refund. I wish I could have announced this earlier, but it was all very last-minute."
The crowd cheered again, and Lockhart plastered a grin over his face again, now that his book sales were ensured. "Well, this is exciting news indeed! A most benevolent gesture, Mr. Malfoy!"
"Thank you. The board of governors does what it can."
Harry walked towards the exit, mentally reeling. This was not how anything was supposed to go.
"What do you mean, I can't buy the books?" Arthur's raised voice attracted Harry's attention.
"You can have the books, but you can't pay for them. They've already been paid for by the school board. I'm not allowed to sell any to students or their families," the frustrated cashier tried explaining.
"I'm not taking anything paid for by that man!"
"Arthur. They need these for school. Let this pass. For now," Molly placed a hand on his shoulder.
Arthur turned and looked at his wife a moment before nodding. "Right. For now."
The cashier sighed with relief, then ducked slightly behind his register. "Oh dear."
"Arthur! Busy times in the ministry I hear. Plenty of overtime pay, I hope?"
"I don't know what game you're playing Lucious, but-"
"Game? I'm simply here on behalf of the school board. We know how rough the start of the school year can be on some families, and we thought we ought to do something to ease the burden, especially given this years… extensive, book list."
"Well, I hope you get your money's worth of good will out of this stunt. Perhaps enough of these will dull people's memories."
Lucious' face grew dark. "Perhaps you should be more gratefu-"
"Harry! There you are!" Draco suddenly slid into view so quickly, Harry almost wondered if he had acquired his own invisibility cloak.
"We simply must go try a new ice-cream flavour combination I found, orange-mint with a hint of chocolate. My treat?"
Harry blinked, already off kilter from how rapidly events were spinning away from his memories. "I'm sorry, we already visited Floreans."
"Without me? I'm hurt." Draco paused. "Ah! No matter, there's a place nearby that does fudge in almost as many flavors."
Harry glanced across the tableau of adults, thinking quickly. "Sounds great. Sirius?"
Sirius dragged his stare off of Lucious, and gave Harry a grin. "You're a big boy. Stay out of trouble, and meet me in the Leaky Cauldron when you're ready."
Fred piped up. "Mum?"
Molly's mouth opened and closed once, before "Of course," managed to come out.
"If you like," Emma preempted her daughter.
Lucious also seemed slightly off put by the switch in mood. "Well. I have business to attend to. You know where to find me, Draco?"
"Of course."
"Then go have fun." With that, he exited the store.
"I suppose the two of you have never had butterbeer before?" Sirius asked.
The Grangers' reply was lost to Harry as they all traveled to the confectioner's shop.
Harry's feet managed to follow everyone else, but his head was miles off. Harry had the feeling something was off. Well, clearly things had changed, but that was to be expected to some extent, he was 'friends' with Draco now. That was bound to have affected Lucious, but to this degree?
He was missing something. Something big. Had he become so lax over the summer?
"Here we are!"
Harry was abruptly knocked out of his speculation by Draco's announcement. They all went in.
Draco did a quick headcount. "Hmm, two each? Fabian, fourteen fudges, on me. Place your orders."
"Sure thing Draco, you want your regular?"
"Please."
"Coming up. What flavours would the rest of you like?"