Dear Fanfiction Writers,
Just be happy I'm the one writing this letter. Josee and I considered writing separate letters, but we decided it would be better to stick to one letter. I'm going to write everything WE think. Both separate opinions and what we both think.
I'll start with what we both agree on. First, please stop shipping us. I know you can see we're close, but we've been partners ever since we were kids. You think you can work with someone for fourteen years and not get close with them? But we are NOT a couple, nor do we experiment. We're too busy, and we can't afford to take time off for that. I even offered to give Josee her first kiss once when she mentioned wistfully that she didn't know what it was like, but she said no. We have to keep our minds on perfecting our skills. The competitions aren't going to take care of themselves, and gold isn't going to come if we get distracted.
That's our main gripe. Next, what I think. Well...I have one thing to say – please stop writing Josee's family life with an abusive mom. It's true she had a single mother who was very strict with her, but she wasn't as harsh as you think. Well, I don't know about the cupboard under the stairs – that would explain Josee's claustrophobia. But she swears that her mom never ever hit her, even when she was in the throes of a tantrum, and I know when Josee's lying. This time, she wasn't. So please, stop writing it. I really don't like seeing her cry, even if it's in a story.
Okay, here's the big thing. Josee actually is not too keen on any of the stories. The only things she enjoys are scenes where it's mentioned exactly how graceful or stage-smart she is. It's true that I had to learn a lot from her. But she doesn't like seeing her emotions get the better of her in some fics. And I have to take a lot of crap for it, so just...keep the compliments up, or she will be writing and she won't be as nice as I am.
Gold for us, silver for you,
Jacques (and Josee)