Chapter 3
AN: I am working super hard on the Guardian Kitsune but I'm at a difficult chapter and I wrote non-stop for over two hours, so….I took a break to finish this one! Enjoy.
ROOT base…
Danzo hid his glee well as he took his new "guest" down the dark corridors. Hiruzen knew about ROOT but not about his Uchiha eye. Unfortunately he already used Shisui's eye to keep ROOT going, but no matter: he just had to beat the stupid out of the weapon and mold him into Konoha's secret shield. He had a week, how had could it be?
"While you are here this week I will make you work to the bone. I won't accept failure or complaining, am I clear?" Danzo said, releasing a little killing intent on the boy. To his credit Naruto didn't seem to react. Of course, the mask and heavy cloak would hide it.
"Yep! I got it, Hokage-jiji's friend! Nobody works harder than Kitsune, future ANBU commander!" He said, bouncing slightly from foot to foot. Danzo frowned slightly, not liking his care free attitude. Then he heard his dream and smirked inwardly. Time for some classic manipulation.
"Oh? ANBU commander, you say? Well, there is something you can do now that would bring you closer to your dream, but it's difficult, and I don't know if you can handle it at your age…"
"I can do it! Tell me, please! I'll do anything!" And flames somehow lit over his eye holes, much to Shimura Danzo's confusion. It isn't genjutsu…
"Very well then." He said as they reached the emotional conditioning room, and had Naruto sit on the table. "To become stronger, closer to your dream, you must…" Here he had a ROOT agent hold a flashlight under his chin for effect. "BANISH ALL YOUR EMOTIONS! ONLY THEN WILL YOU BE A SHINOBI!" Danzo let off an evil chuckle, and if his agents had emotions they would have sweat dropped. Naruto tilted his head.
"Umm, but I'm not a shinobi, I'm ANBU!" He declared. Danzo had a tickmark, he had a long way to go. "And how did you make your face all creepy like Tenzo-sempai?" Oh yes, a long way. But Danzo wasn't one to back away from a challenge. He would beat the stupid out of the jinchuuriki and make a loyal weapon or he might as well just turn ROOT into a traveling circus and dye his hair pink.
Day One…
Naruto was sharing a room with two young recruits, Sai and Shin. They had just finished a grueling training session and Naruto learned water walking on boiling water. Now they were ordered to stay in the room until morning. Most rooms would not even open the door. Unfortunately for Sai and Shin, they had a hyperactive Jinchuuriki that somehow still had energy to spare.
"Guys! Let's pull a prank. We can sneak into the equipment room and paint all the masks orange!" He said, jumping on the bed while Shin and Sai looked on in slight shock. His regular ANBU equipment was gone for the week, replaced by the ROOT uniform.
"I do not believe that would be appropriate, Naruto. Danzo-sama ordered all recruits in bed thirty minutes ago." Sai reasoned, and looked to Shin for support. Of course, his brother had a mischevious smile that promised trouble.
"Oh, don't be a stick in the mud, Sai! Naruto-kohai has come up with a brilliant plan for some payback on our teachers." Shin slung his arm around Naruto and the two gave matching grins. To Sai it was rather disconcerting, realizing his two idiot roommates were going to drag him into trouble.
"Fine, but we better not get caught."
"Don't you worry, Sai! Nobody will think it was us!" Naruto proclaimed.
Day two…
Naruto, Sai, and Shin were currently on a pool with crocodiles in it dodging and water walking while listening to the ROOT handbook being read over and over. Apparently finger painting the masks and forgetting to wash your hands because you were so tired gave a clue as to who pulled the prank.
"In ROOT, there is no past, or future. There is only the mission. Emotions are a shinobi's weakness…" and on and on the recording went.
"I'm sorry, guys" Naruto said while jumping over a crocodile. "Next time I won't get caught."
"Don't worry, Kohai, we'll be better next time!" Shin said happily, ignoring Sai's growing tick mark.
"Why can't I have normal roommates!" He shouted to the heavens.
Day three…
Naruto had just completed over ten hours of training, and was told to go to the ROOT library and pick out a jutsu to learn.
"Hmm…chameleon jutsu, shadow shuriken jutsu, ooh…shadow clone jutsu…exact solid copies…memory transfer…heh, this is perfect to replace the clone jutsu!" Naruto giggled manically and proceeded to practice it in earnest.
Day four…
Fifty Narutos running like lunatics around the training hall was the sight Danzo Shimura saw when he took his morning cup of coffee to see his weapons beat the daylights out of each other, intending to figure out how to make his newest-but temporary- weapon improve. Oh sure, he had already surpassed his physical expectations for the week, but in terms of emotional and mental abilities…he'd seen monkeys better trained. Upon seeing the mass horde of his current problem he blinked. He guzzled his coffee. And he did the smartest thing since divorcing his wife after she showed signs of mental instability that only grew with her oddly enlarging stomach: Danzo Shimura turned like a coward and walked back to his office.
"Don't disturb me until only one menace is there to plague me." He said and slammed the door shut. He could hear the blonde's laughter as if there were multiple ones echoing off each other, mocking him.
Day five…
Naruto was sitting on the floor, eyes glued to a screen with a pendulum on it.
"Are you certain this will work, Fuu?" Danzo asked. They had sat Naruto up with the screen in hopes of ridding his emotions.
"It is the last resort before I enter into his mind. I am confident he'll work out." Just then Naruto had a tub of ice cream out to enjoy while watching the pendulum and voice. "I hope."
Day six…
"It's okay, Sai," Naruto comforted. The three of them were sitting outside Danzo's office after sneaking into the kitchen and eating the last of the fudge. They were caught walking back to their room with chocolate covered hands.
"How do you know that? Huh, huh? The last person who ate Danzo-sama's fudge that his mother sends him on Sundays are never seen again!"
"Eh, you worry too much, Sai!" Shin said cheekily.
Danzo looked at the three…monsters in front of him, giving him puppy eyes. He couldn't kill them. Hiruzen would never forgive him if he killed the jinchuuriki over chocolate-no matter how divine and holy it was- and the two recruits were close to him. He needed the two basterds to keep an eye on the jinchuuriki. And the worst part?
They knew. Somehow, the three knew he couldn't do anything to them. He didn't know how. He didn't know why. He just knew they knew they were untouchable.
Sometimes he hated his rational side.
Day seven…
Naruto stood inside the Hokage's office, a slightly twitching Danzo behind him. Naruto had not only made his week hell, but he was declared unbreakable by Fuu. And now the cloaked menace had the ability to make more menaces, would horrors never cease!
"Ah, Naruto. I trust you enjoyed your stay with Danzo?" Hiruzen laughed internally, as did the other ANBU. Danzo's eye twitched more at Naruto's enthusiastic yell.
"Oh yeah, you bet! I made two new friends, Shin-sempai and Sai and I painted their boring masks orange and Danzo-jiji let me eat his mother's fudge" Here Danzo fingered a kunai, "and I learned the shadow clone jutsu and can make fifty of me!" He finished. Everyone, even Sarutobi, paled at this. If the ANBU mascot got into the habit of using that jutsu for his pranks, headquarters could not survive. Think professor, think! Light, meet bulb.
"The shadow clone, you say? And fifty? Well, good for you, but I hope you've only been using it for training." He said lightly, pretending to check his nails. Phychological warfare on the young always made his day.
"Uh, no, why? I use them for EVERYTHING now!"
"Well, just because any time you use a shadow outside training and battle…well, a baby fox dies." Sarutobi bit his lip in suppressed laughter as Naruto gasped.
"Oh no! How does that happen?!" Naruto clutched his head in a headache trying to imagine it.
"My boy, when you get to be as old as I am, you learn that not everything can be explained, and that accepting my word as law will stop your brain from hurting trying to think." Please buy it. Please buy it.
"That makes sense, thanks Hokage-jiji! I'm going to my room now, by Danzo-jiji! And don't worry, I'll make sure all baby foxes are safe from shadow clones!" Naruto waved and darted through the ANBU door. Sarutobi noticed his rival's dropped jaw.
"Is he really that gullible?" He said in awe. Sarutobi chuckled.
"Yes, it's how the base hasn't been destroyed yet. Now tell me, what "missions" did he do?"
"Oh, I found the A-rank mission of checking the dictionary for a secret code to be most appropriate. I couldn't just give it to anyone, you know."
In the base, later…
Naruto walked past the kitchen that was always open, even when the mess hall wasn't, to see Inu-sempai reading a paper at the table. He had a shadow clone making him coffee.
"AH! INU-SEMPAI YOU MURDERER!" Naruto screamed and ran from his almost older brother.
Kakashi looked up as his little brother darted away. "Do I want to know? No, probably not." He reasoned, turning back to his paper.
Next morning…
Naruto sat on the ceiling to take notes over the traitor's words. No way was Naruto going to let him get away. He counted down the seconds till class was over: he had to meet the new ANBU this afternoon and it was always fun. Just then the traitor's voice broke his thoughts.
"And now who wants to demonstrate the clone jutsu?" Iruka looked around the room. Sakura raised her hand.
"Why not ask Kitsune to demonstrate?" Sakura asked sweetly.
"That's a great idea! Kitsune, would you please help the class out?" Naruto started sweating. He landed in the front of twenty pairs of expectant eyes. If he used shadow clone, he'd be a murderer. But if he used a regular bushin, he'd be the laughing stock of his charges. Pride or morality?!
"Well, Kitsune?"
"Um…you see,"
"Go on,"
"Erm..."
End! Oh no! What will Naruto decide? And how will meeting new recruits go? Finally, will Danzo ever recover his sanity after this ordeal?! And yes, his ex wife was pregnant, I could see Danzo thinking a pregnant woman was unstable and leave her, especially in a comedy fanfic.