Chapter 4
AN: Another installment in the story! Enjoy, rate, review, follow, ect if you wish.
Academy…
"I…uh" Naruto was at a crossroads. He wanted to be impressive to the students, but his shadow clone would kill a fox kit. Then he remembered that it should only be used in battles or training. Suddenly the classroom became a battle ground, an army of disbelievers replaced his charges and their pencils became kunai. Naruto, knowing he had to fight, called forth "Shadow clone jutsu". The classroom shifted back, and he realized his mistake! Planning the funeral for the somewhere dead fox he almost missed the traitor's voice.
"Wow, Kitsune! Class, this here is the advanced version of the clone jutsu, one that only jonin level ninjas can do!" Iruka said, impressed. Little did he know that besides henge, kawarimi, shunshins, and a small fire style that Itachi-sempai taught him before he went crazy and left, Naruto didn't have jutsu. All the students looked at the midget ANBU in a new light.
"Yep! As a future ANBU commander I have to be super strong!" He held out a victory sign and everyone sweat dropped, their impressed feelings gone. Is this kid really an ANBU? Was the collective thought. Ino Yamanaka, class gossip, decided she had to ask the question most were thinking.
"Hey, Kitsune? How old are you anyway?" She asked sweetly. Naruto blinked, then turned to the traitor.
"Hey, trait- I mean Iruka, what day is it?" He asked. Iruka had a tickmark. Why the hell do I have to let him think I'm a traitor? Let Mizuki play that part!
"W-well, Kitsune, it's October twenty first" he said.
"Heh! Oh yeah, my birthday is October tenth so I'm…."
"Nine. You're nine." Sakura said with a deadpanned. Most doubted his intelligence greatly at this.
"No." He countered. "I am nine years and eleven days, Sakura-kun."
"I'm a girl!" She screeched.
"Really? But you're so manly looking!" Naruto said, surprised, ignoring the fact all the males backed further away with pity.
And thus, Naruto Uzumaki learned the hard way why hell had nothing on an angry female.
Hokage's office…
Sarutobi sighed, Jiraiya was in the village but he had yet to give his report. Probably peeping again. And to introduce him to Naruto this time.
Naruto appeared in the office at his normal time, shuddering slightly.
"Oi, my little Kohai, what's wrong?" Boar appeared and poked the twitching nine year old.
"I-I…girls are crazy!" He cried.
"JIJI! I REFUSE TO GO NEAR HER AGAIN! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW POINTING OUT HER FORHEAD WAS TOUCHY?!" Naruto ripped his mask off and slammed it into the ground. Thankfully only males were in the room, and the three ANBU surrounded him.
"Naruto," Boar said trying not to laugh after guessing the problem. "You cannot abandon your mission."
"How can you say that! Do you want her to kill me?!" He looked up with the puppy dog eyes.
"Take it like a man!" Boar scolded. He couldn't believe his mascot was such a wimp. It might be of note that Boar had yet to have a girlfriend and was on an all-male team until ANBU, the nineteen-year-old was probably not the best giver of advice. At this point the Hokage interceded.
"Naruto…you should just avoid her if she's "scary"." The Hokage said sagely. The other males beside Boar nodded along. "Women are horrible, horrible creatures that have no rhyme or reason. Just…be careful my grandson." Boar couldn't believe it! His boss was a wimp. His eyes steeled, he would make his little kohai-mascot a man, and show him the beauty of women.
"Kitsune, I have a mission for you, an S-class one." He said, taking him out of the room.
Hot springs, later…
Naruto sat in a tree with a camera. Boar-sempai said he needed to take pictures of the naked ladies without them seeing. He had to get twenty women, and so far he'd gotten eighteen.
"Humph, why do I have to sit in a tree? Why can't I ask them for them? It's just a picture, they wouldn't care." Poor Naruto didn't understand that his orders to be unseen saved his life. "Oh well, at least Boar-sempai will teach me water-walking if I do this! I can't wait. Only one more now." Just then a scream is heard and the bath clears out. Naruto narrowed his eyes behind his mask. Looking below him he saw a white haired man giggling while looking through the hole.
"Damn, and my research was going so well!" The man moaned. Naruto grew a tickmark.
"Oi! If you wanted to take pictures then do it quietly! I just needed one last picture to complete my mission! Aarg, now Boar-sempai will never teach me water walking!" Naruto yelled at the man.
Jiraiya looked up at the tree, noticing a small looking ANBU with a Kitsune mask yelling at him. He narrowed his eyes, ANBU weren't that young, and the kid was hardly elite. He decided to do some information gathering.
"Oh ho ho! A young researcher, eh! And what's your name, my young protégé? I didn't know ANBU let in shrimps."
"Hey! I'm not a shrimp, I just turned nine! I am on a mission from Boar-sempai! He said if I got twenty pictures of women in the hot springs he would teach me water walking. And my name is Kitsune, future ANBU commander!" He posed for the Toad sanin, who tried not to snort, even as his thoughts darkened. Sensei, you wouldn't…
"Well, well, Kitsune, that's a big dream. Say, what's your birthday?"
"October tenth" Naruto said proudly. This man was the second person today to be interested in his age. Jiraiya sucked in his teeth. October tenth, nine years old, Kitsune mask. Sensei, you basterd! Jiraiya was instantly behind the ANBU and knocked him out with a chop to the neck. Pulling off the hood he noticed the blonde hair. Hefting his godson over his shoulder he ran towards the Hokage tower, killing intent radiating.
Just outside the tower…
Jiraiya is about to climb up to the window when twenty ANBU surround him with swords drawn. The Commander stepped forward.
"Put Kitsune down" he ordered quietly. Jiraiya snorted.
"Brat, go away. This kid is-"
"Our mascot and comrade. His identity is an S-class secret so if I were you I would listen to the Commander and give us back Kitsune." Boar said with venom. He shunshined next to the Toad sanin and grabbed Naruto, who had a bruise on the back of his neck from the chop. Commander Dragon saw this as Boar pulled the hood up.
"Boar," He said quietly, "Take Kitsune to his room." Boar nodded and left. The Commander looked ready to speak again but the Hokage appeared.
"Commander, stand down. Jiraiya, my office. Now." He ordered stonily.
"Snort. How dare you turn Nar-"
"Finish that sentence my student and you will find out exactly why I am the "god of shinobi."
With Naruto and Boar…
"Owww…that hurt." Naruto groaned as he woke up less than five minutes later, in his bed. Boar was at his side.
"Thank goodness, squirt. When we saw Jiraiya running towards the tower with your hood down…" He looked down. "Tell me what happened."
…After finishing his tale Boar grabbed the pictures.
"I'll take these and mark your mission as a success. Tomorrow I'll teach you water walking." Naruto grinned.
"What happened to that weirdo?" Boar snorted.
"The Hokage is chewing him out. Why? Want to go watch?" He asked mischievously. Naruto grinned and nodded.
Hokage's office…
Naruto and Boar entered through the ceiling entrance, finding a place amongst the other ANBU. There were almost thirty agents, all leaking killing intent aimed straight towards Jiraiya. Noticing their little mascot, they relaxed slightly when he signed I'm okay. He scared me though. That last part caused a spike of intent and twitches towards swords.
"You knocked out one of my ANBU, looked at his identity, and then carried him through the village! Am I understanding this right, Jiraiya?" The contempt was clear in the Hokage's voice.
"Don't get that self-righteous tone, sensei. To make a nine-year-old an ANBU at FOUR! His file is more blacked out than MINE! His identity a secret, how do you plan for him to be a normal ninja?!"
"I don't. He will be ANBU for his career. I have many operatives that are there for life like him. His dream. "
"Was no doubt implanted. He's probably brainwashed. I wonder how many people he's killed." Jiraiya snorted. Naruto piped up despite the "rules", not liking this man who made his Jiji and boss mad.
"Nobody yet! Anko-nee is letting me have my first kill when I turn ten!" Jiraiya jumped slightly at the voice.
"Kitsune," Sarutobi sighed, "here." Naruto jumped down and landed in a crouch. Boar had signed for him to lay the respect on thick for the show. So, Naruto bowed.
"Yes, Hokage-sama?" The Hokage caught on and smirked inwardly, playing along.
"Kitsune, tell me. Have you been out of the village?" Naruto was slightly confused but a hidden sign by Neko calmed him from an outburst.
"No, Hokage-sama. You won't let me out until my first kill at ten."
"And Kitsune, are you happy in ANBU?" Naruto smiled at this and it was heard in his voice.
"YOU BET! I have lots of sempai's here, and I have my own room and training is fun! One day I'm taking Commander's mask, believe it!" He said with rising enthusiasm. The Hokage chuckled.
"Very good. Now, Jiraiya." Cue a nervous looking pervert.
"I get it, sensei. You explained earlier why he needed this, but… would Minato approve?"
"It's better than him being dead, Jiraiya. Now, while you're here, why not spend the afternoon with Kitsune? As long as he's in his uniform and you call him by his code name you can take him out to eat." Both Naruto and Jiraiya perked up at this. Naruto never ate out- he sometimes grabbed the other's take out or had it brought to him- and Jiraiya wanted to spend quality time with his godson to make sure his sensei wasn't lying.
"Sure, so squirt, where do you want to eat? My treat!" Naruto thought for a moment.
"I don't know!" He said finally. "I've never eaten out before!" Jiraiya was slightly angered at this but then decided to introduce a family tradition.
"Okay, brat! Have you tried ramen?" Naruto shook his head no. "Then you'll love this place" Multiple swords are at his throat. Hiruzen Sarutobi gazed at his student with an expression not seen since the battle field of the third war.
"If you finish that sentence I will have my men tie you up naked in a gay hot spring. You will go to barbeque, Naruto likes barbeque. Understood?" Jiraiya paled and nodded, the swords disappearing.
"Hey, what's ramen?" Naruto asked. Everyone stiffened.
"It's a noodle dish"
"I like noodles"
"made with fox meat" Boar cut in. Naruto gagged. "I know, disgusting, right? It's illegal for ANBU to have ramen. And do we break the rules?"
"NO!" Naruto said. The ANBU sighed in relief while Jiraiya looked confused. "Oh no! I used a shadow clone outside of training and battle today! I have to go pray for the fox kit that died. I'll be back soon, Jiraiya!" Naruto ran out without looking back. Everyone sweat dropped.
"Maybe we should tell him"
"Do you want fifty Naruto clones running around constantly, pulling pranks?"
"…good point."
Jiraiya turned to his sensei. "What the hell? You know he'd love ramen as much as Kushina!"
"Exactly"
"We can't afford it"
"Our food budget is already suffering!" Multiple ANBU chime in, back in the rafters. Sarutobi gave his student a hard glare.
"You will not introduce Naruto to ramen. I don't want him to start eating us out of budget here, yes, but the Ichiraku's would become suspicious as only Kushina had that appetite, ruining the whole "Naruto is either dead or missing" ruse. When seven years have passed he'll be officially marked dead."
"Sensei, that's horrible. Will I be able to teach him? The rasangan and summoning are his birthright!" Sarutobi winced.
"Maybe. When he's twelve or thirteen ask me again." Jiraiya scoffed, he could tell that was a lie, but plastered a grin on his face as his godson tumbled into the room, incense smell on him. ANBU Mascot, eh? At least he isn't a real ANBU…yet.
Later…
Jiraiya just tucked Naruto in after the boy fell asleep on the training ground. After the early dinner Jiraiya decided to teach his godson some taijutsu, and the kid worked until he fell asleep. The ANBU let him into HQ, but watched him like a hawk. He spots Boar-obviously one of Naruto's favorite ANBU as he talked nonstop about the man, along with Neko, Inu, the Commander, and "Anko-nee"- standing outside waiting.
"Good job" Boar said. "But one night doesn't change anything. ANBU raised him, helped him, we won't let you take him from us."
"Hehe, saw through me, eh? Don't worry, he's too young now, but when this life breaks him I'll be there to pick up the pieces." Jiraiya surprised himself honestly. He realized during the training that he wouldn't let his godson stay in the shadows. The kid deserved the light. "Though I do have to ask: is the "spy" your way of making him learn core subjects?"
"Now why would I do that?" Boar replied coyly.
One week later…
Naruto stood on his toes, trying to see into the training arena and get a look at his "targets". He had new sempai's to play with!
"Are you looking forward to meeting them, Kitsune?" Neko-sempai asked. Naruto's head bobbed. "I'm glad. Time to show them some "fun"." Naruto missed her evil chuckle.
"You have all officially made ANBU, congratulations. You now have one last test that will help determine what mask you deserve." Boar smirked behind his mask as the ten rookies looked nervously around the room. Naruto bounds out and stands next to his secretly favorite ANBU (until Inu taught him how to track, that is). Some of the recruit's snigger as Naruto hugged him. Just then Boar had Naruto down a 32-ounce cup of coffee. "You must survive our mascot on a caffeine high. Don't die." And with that he shunshined to the observation room. The other ANBU and Hokage joined him, and buckets of popcorn were passed around, as were bets.
The recruits snorted among themselves. "It's just a little kid, what's so scary about that? I used to rock babysitting." Before the recruit finished his statement, he was sent flying by Naruto's knee connecting with his face. Naruto jumped back, cackling, his strength and speed increased tenfold with the coffee. Explosions go off.
"Oh, did I mention I let Naruto practice with his trap setting? He's gotten quite good." Boar said idly as he grabbed more popcorn. The commander facepalmed.
"I just hope he doesn't kill them- I rather like this batch."
"I'm more worried about him being too tired to watch Konohamaru tomorrow" The Hokage added. "Good help is hard to find."
END! I hope this was fun. I like the slight tension between ANBU and Jiraiya, as it makes sense considering Jiraiya was always an idealist. Also, Naruto's parentage goes over his head, but the ANBU know…I mean, they are ninjas, and it's kind of obvious. So, I had it where they knew, but like his identity they don't reveal it. For those wondering why Hiruzen would keep Naruto in the shadows…it's for the best, for both Naruto and the village.