Dear Fanfiction Writers,
Well, I can't say this is an easy letter to write. Most of the contestants have written to you, and so I am going to do the same.
My first issue is that you constantly compare me to Chris McLean. Yes, the same producers hired us. Yes, we are both attractive (and don't take that the wrong way, I am straight). But just because I happen to be more responsible, you go on about how he's far more dynamic than I am. Excuse me if I care about the rules. Did you see him ever demo any challenges? I'm hoping the producers will decide to have another season and ask Chris to be on it with a friend of his. That will give him some idea of what a host should be. Not that I'm mad at him, of course. I just need to prove to him that a real host makes an effort to put themselves on a level with the contestants, and that means demoing the challenges.
My other problem is that you are leaving me out of your fics. I understand that The Ridonculous Race aired after Total Drama and you haven't had as much time to write about us, but it's been four years, and still there's hardly anything about me! And every time you mention me, Chris is going on about how much he hates me. Is he jealous that I got to host the show, or does he just hate me for no reason? What's your reasoning? I hardly think it's fair, considering.
Keep watching!
Don
It's not over yet! Guess who our last letter-writer is...