Chapter 8
AN: I wasn't expecting people to like this story so much, but apparently, I found my niche. I hope I can continue to make y'all laugh with Naruto's antics.
Nighttime, Hayate's apartment…
Hayate awoke to the akward feeling that all was not right. The first clue was the fact he was tied with chakra draining rope. The second was the fluorescent light waving in front of him hypnoticly.
The third clue was three of his girlfriend's collegues- Boar, Kakashi based on the hair, and Tiger, it seemed- were surrounding him. Hayate couldn't figure for the life of him why Yugao's friends were doing this, and tried to speak.
Oh wait, Boar was pretty damn clever with seals, at least enough to create a silence seal.
"Figured it out, eh, you snake." Boar chuckled ominously, aiming the light right into Hayate's eyes.
"Thought just because Yugao likes you you'd get away with it?" Kakashi quipped.
"But you didn't take into account of us." Tiger got close and played with a rather sharp kunai. Hayate was sweating. What'd the hell I do?! I'm just the sick swordsman, and I haven't pissed off Yugao in weeks. He looked at his captors, questioning their sanity.
"Tsk, tsk, he thought we wouldn't notice him seducing the mascot today." Mascot… oh, Kitsune. Crap, what are they, his fan club?! Think Hayate!
"No matter, we just came to warn you: Kitsune is my little brother and ANBU's mascot, find your own!" Tiger said. Kakashi turned to his partners in crime.
"I agree with everything except that Kitsune is MY little brother, not yours."
"I believe he likes me more than both of you combined but we can argue this later, for now…Hayate, stay away from Kitsune!" Boar warned, and something hit him on the temple, knocking him out cold.
Root base…
Danzo sat in on his rolly throne that none would dare call an office chair, gazing at the perfect operative for this mission.
"Sai, you will enter the academy to watch the Uchiha and Naruto, who you are to refer to as Kitsune" He ordered. Inside Sai was both thrilled and wincing. His 'friend' was enjoyable, but just being around him attracted trouble.
"Yes, Danzo-sama" He bowed. "How am I to act?" Danzo thought for a moment.
"You will behave normally, but stay in the dead last position in order to be assigned the Uchiha's team."
"Yes, Danzo-sama."
Morning, academy…
"Class, this is Sai, a new student who was homeschooled. Please make him feel welcomed." Iruka ordered. Sai bowed and tried a smile.
"Thank you for allowing me to be your comrade." He bowed again and walked towards Naruto's perch, sitting to the side of it. Class started and he began to draw- he had to maintain bad grades, after all.
"Psh…Sai" Naruto whispered. Sai turned his head and raised his eyebrow.
"Yes, Na-Kitsune?" He whispered back.
"You're good at spying, right?" Naruto asked. Sai nodded. "Then I need your help."
"With what?"
"With rooting out a spy. Iruka's a suspected spy and traitor, but I can't catch him do illegal stuff or sabotaging! Please, I need your help." Sai thought about it. A spy was a major risk, but with Iruka being such a public figure, they couldn't just make him disappear. But leaving him was not an option.
"Alright, I will help, for Konoha."
"And, I also need help with Sasuke." Naruto rubbed his head sheepishly. "He is acting jittery, and I want to find out why." Was the Uchiha contemplating defection? Yes, Sai decided, they would need to find out why. If only Danzo-sama didn't cut him off from Root for the remainder of the academy to not draw suspicion.
"I will help you. Here's what we will do…"
As the duo talked so quietly not even Kiba heard, both Iruka and Sasuke jolted, a shiver running down their spines. I feel I should defect/run away.
Afternoon…
Currently Iruka was dealing with a teacher's meeting over the first year desks being glued to the ceiling. Sigh, looks like another late day.
Naruto was tasked with searching Iruka's apartment for clues. Entering through the window and disabling a trap, he began going through everything. Soon he came across a box stuffed with note books.
"Ooh, a diary? Iruka, age ten…I'll bet he's a fake Iruka and used this for study! I must examine every one of these!" And he began reading the innermost thoughts of one Iruka Umino.
Sai followed Sasuke to give his friend time with the traitor's apartment. Sai hated traitors, and the more he observed Iruka during lessons, the more he could see it. Every smirk could be a signal, every scratch of his nose an admission to guilt. Yes, Sai could see it.
But, alas, his job was the Uchiha, and so far the target simply trained angrily. Suddenly he shuddered, just like Naruto said. Interesting.
Sasuke Uchiha had that feeling again. That feeling of being watched, stalked. He shivered against his will, and expected to catch a glimpse of Kitsune. It was worse, the new Kid, Sai, was in the tree, writing in his own notebook. One was bad enough, but two! Sasuke Uchiha went home. He had to update his hit list: Itachi just went down to third.
That night…
Naruto left the traitor's apartment after reading through two diaries. Tomorrow Sai would take the Iruka shift, while he would tail Sasuke. Together they would solve these mysteries!
Naruto was walking down the ANBU hallways when a hand pulled him into the arena.
"Kitsune, where have you been?" Dragon asked. Naruto sweated a bit. "Sigh, I'll deal with that later. For now, I need you." Naruto perked up at this. Dragon led him to the center of the arena. Inu, Boar, and Tenzo were hog tied with multiple bruises present.
"Why is Boar-nii tied up? I have more notes to go over!" Naruto asked. About twenty ANBU were around the room, sniggering at how the mighty have fallen.
"Well, my minion, these three idiots seem to have forgotten how to share."
"But sharing makes good teamwork and in ANBU teamwork makes missions work!" Naruto shouted. He couldn't believe his three favorite sempais would do this. "What aren't they sharing? It's not desert, is it?" Neko snorted in the background.
"No, it's not desert, but something much more serious." Naruto took off his mask and glared at the three.
"Well then! Until you guys start sharing I won't talk to you! You are no longer my nii-sans and sempais!" And with a huff he walked off. "Neko-nee can you help me with my notes?" He grabbed her hand.
"Of course, my little brother. Let's go visit Hayate and he'll teach you a new sword strike."
After the two left the three men slumped to the floor, devastated, while everyone else laughed at their expense.
"I believe you three have some work to do." Dragon said with a hidden laugh. It was always amusing how a ten year old could break his men faster than any enemy interrogator.
Hayate's apartment…
Yugao gasped at her boyfriend's bound state, and quickly freed him.
"Hayate! What happened, who did this?" She asked, slapping him from his daze.
"It was…those three jelous basterds, Kitsune's fan club. Said I had to stay away." He got out between coughs, his cold coming back. Yugao narrowed her eyes and then grinned, the perfect payback coming to her.
"Say, my dear Haya-kun, you always said you wanted to join ANBU, right?" Hayate paled a bit. He never liked that particular smile, and he didn't remember dreaming of ANBU. But his girlfriend said he did, and like any good and whipped male his survival instincts kicked in.
"Y-yes, dear. I've always dreamed of it." Naruto jumped for joy in the background.
One month later, T&I…
Naruto was watching Anko-nee have her fun, eating Dango slowly through the observation window. Ibiki sat next to him. Sai and him had gone through the traitor's apartment several times, and nothing panned out. Their methods of detouring the traitor had dried up as well. It was time to take the heat to the suspect, but Sai only knew extremely obvious methods of extraction.
"Ne, Ibiki-sempai? How do you interrogate someone without leaving a mark?" Ibiki paused in his snack of red bean buns, secretly thrilled. He always resented that the mascot spent most of his time in the main base, and talked endlessly of taking that Dragon basterd's job. Now, if played right, Ibiki could get the man back for his endless bragging, and gain a new apprentice in the process.
"Well Kitsune, I like to think of it as more of an…aggressive conversation than torture. It's such a nasty word. In reality, it's an art form, and there are many ways to express yourself through it. Take Anko, for example. Watch as each slice of her kunai serves a purpose, and speaks louder than any words." Ibiki continued, and poor Naruto became enraptured in the rather decorative explanation.
Hours later, Boar walked in with Tenzo, having been forced into "sharing" Naruto. The two paled at the scene, as their sweet mascot was studiously taking notes while the sadist Ibiki demonstrated on a prisoner.
Root base…
Danzo sighed at the report. His agent Sai managed to sneak a report in, explaining that he had been helping the bane of his existence- er, Naruto- to uncover a traitor and follow the Uchiha. This wasn't good, as they found nothing. Danzo doubted anything was available to be found, but Shin, the current bane of his existence with the pranks he learned from Naruto, would be able to discover something if there was. Besides, the menace deserved to suffer in the academy for the next eleven months. If Danzo couldn't kill him, he could at least bask in his suffering.
"Get me Shin. I have the perfect mission for him."
End! What do you think? What will Shin do? Will Hayate survive his girlfriend's plan? Can Sasuke's nerves handle a THIRD stalker? And when will Naruto figure out he's been duped into learning?