Chapter 9

AN: Oi! Another adventure! I was reading "Outfoxed", which is quickly becoming one of my favorite fanfics simply due to the sheer amount of belly laughs it gives me, and the butchering of ANBU caused me to fall out of my chair, laughing so hard. In chapter 19 ANBU becomes "All of Naruto's Bitches United". Somehow, that led to inspiration for this chapter (not really sure how, lol.). I recommend checking it out!

Next day…

"Class, please welcome Shin. Like Sai, he was homeschooled until now and I expect you make him feel comfortable." Iruka glared at the class to get his point across. Everyone but Sai and Naruto gulped.

Shin was ticked. When he was told he had a "special mission" that "only he could do" he was excited and honored that Danzo-sama seemed to finally forgive him.

That was until the mummy basterd informed him-with a pleasant smile no less that would put Sai's to shame on the creep factor- that he would be masquerading as an academy student three years his junior. Shin winced slightly as the loyalty part of the seal burned for the mummy thought, but it was worth it. He stood looking at the brats impassively, but a slight twitch at the introduction would let any Root agent know he was ticked.

However, that impassiveness turned to a cruel smirk that made everyone sweat as his eyes landed on his brother and partner in crime holding a silent conversation in the back. Heh, if they were here, maybe this "observation" mission of the brats wouldn't be so bad.

"Hey, Shin! I see Danzo-jiji got Sai's message." Naruto whispered. Shin quirked an eyebrow.

"Eh, kohai? What can Shin the Great do for you?" He asked. Sai twitched slightly. His brother had the annoying habit of boasting and giving titles in the third person: completely against Root code and could result in being…taken care of. Granted, Sai had to admit Danzo-sama seemed unable to go that route with Shin for some reason, even paying to treat his illness. Then again, the entire time Danzo-sama was muttering about "rational side" and "wishing he could give in and kill the three basterds." Sai could only hope those three weren't him, his brother, and his friend. For now, time to reign in Root's most colorful operative.

"Shin, we need your help. We have two targets: Iruka Umino and Sasuke Uchiha." Sai butted in.

"Assassination? Why do you need help with that?"

"No, not assassinating, just information gathering. Kitsune here is on a mission to uncover Iruka as a spy as well as observe and guard the Uchiha. Unfortunately the spy is good; we've gone through his home, office, and notes many times to no avail." Shin nodded in understanding.

"And since I'm one of the interrogation and information specialists and this is a public target, you need my help breaking him without evidence?" At this both nod. Shin grins evilly. "Very well, we'll strike the first of next month, right before the weeklong break. In the meantime I'll help observe the Uchiha as well. This gives me time to gather psychological triggers and create a plan. Sai, kohai," He looks at them both, "let's have some fun."

Iruka Umino, the poor chunin instructor being run ragged by mysterious pranks done every day that caused headache inducing staff meetings, trembled while writing down one of the Shinobi codes. He shook it off. First he was sure someone kept breaking into his home and read his diaries-but that was stupid, right? And now that foreboding feeling. Nah, he just needed a vacation. Thankfully he had the weeklong break coming up planned out: sleep and laze around all day in his apartment. Ahh, the sheer bliss of it.

After school…

Sasuke Uchiha couldn't believe it. The new kid, Shin-who looked too old for his class now that he thought about it- joined in the "Sasuke Stalk Club", or ssc as he thought of it. Now he had THREE unwanted followers, and this one had his own notebook as well.

Itachi just lost third place.

Afternoon…

Naruto sat in front of a very frazzled Dragon.

"I hear you spent time with Ibiki Morino yesterday learning torture?" He asked hesitantly. Naruto blinked and then smiled widely.

"Yep! Me and Ibiki-sempai had loads of fun! He even said I could come anytime to help and learn from him." Naruto suddenly shifted nervously in his chair across from one of his idols, who appeared to have stiffened at this.

"So, I see that the vultures have started to swarm. No way will I let this slide!" Dragon muttered. Naruto tilted his head. "Oh, sorry, Kitsune. I just called you in here to ask: how would you like to be my personal assistant and apprentice?" Naruto gaped and cheered.

"YES! ABSOLUTELY!" He jumped up and down. Dragon chuckled. Let's see what the torture brute does about this. Now, all he had to do was take the paperwork to officially make the mascot his apprentice. First, though, time for the first benefit of having a slave- er, unpaid apprentice.

"Now, now, calm down. First part of Commander is learning how to do paperwork as quickly and accurately as possible. As soon as you can correctly complete a day's worth of unclassified paperwork in two hours-time I will teach you a new jutsu." Dragon mentally cheered as the kid bought it, like always, one of the benefits of masks and the ability to sound truthful. It would take the kid years to be able to do this, so until then Dragon could bask in his free time. And the first hour of said free time would be used to gloat over Ibiki. It was good to be Commander.

Later…

It was late, and Naruto had just completed his lessons with Boar-nii and Neko-sempai, massaging his hand from his paperwork training. Dragon-sensei is so nice, letting me learn from him now! Though the paperwork challenge is difficult. I know! I'll ask Hokage-jiji the secret to paperwork!

Hokage Office…

Sarutobi made the first sign of his favorite fire jutsu. Tonight was the night: he would defeat his greatest enemy: paperwork.

"Sir, please stop." Flamengo begged his leader from the corner. If his boss burned the paperwork they'd be here all night re doing it. Sarutobi was going to ignore him when his favorite distraction ran full force in.

"Hokage-jiji! I have an urgent question!"

"Oh, what is it?" Everyone braced themselves. Last time Naruto had an "urgent question" he had been forced to explain the cycle of life after Boar-that no good traitor- told the young boy that "only the Hokage is authorized to explain baby-making".

"Dragon made me his apprentice today!" Most in the office held back sniggers, Sarutobi included. Dragon had been by earlier to gloat to Ibiki-who was himself filing for Naruto as an apprentice- that the mascot was his now, and as such Dragon had more free time, whatever that meant. "And now he is teaching me the way of the paperwork until I can do a whole day of paperwork in two hours" the office winced at the truly devious plan-poor Naruto would be working on that task until he was fifteen probably. "Once I can he'll teach me a jutsu! So I figured that since you're Hokage you would know the secret to beating paperwork! So, how do you do it?"

Hiruzen Sarutobi, the god of shinobi, shook, tears flowing down his face. The guards held their breath: their mascot had stumbled across the most taboo subject, the one problem their 'god of shinobi' couldn't solve.

"Listen here, Naruto. I have wasted many years pondering this question, and have deduced there is no true justice in our world as the evil that is paperwork triumphs every time. Go, and learn to put up with it." Naruto paused, then stomped his foot in defiance.

"Don't you worry, Hokage-jiji! I will find the secret to defeating this ultimate enemy!" And he stomped out. Sarutobi watches him go.

"May that foolish quest leave some of his sanity intact."
Root base, Danzo's office…

Danzo's hand hovered over his hidden kunai. It would be so easy to stab through the eye. Nobody would even know!

"Hey! I asked a question. How do I defeat paperwork?"

Danzo Shimura, the darkness of shinobi, mocked by a child who was untouchable about his sorest subject: paperwork.

Week before break, Sai and Shin's apartment…

Naruto sat with the brothers in a circle, discussing the plan of operations.

"Kohai, how many shadow clones can you make?" He asked.

"Fifty-six now without collapsing, why?" Naruto asked.

"Great. I'll need them to post them as guards and help the interrogation." Shin replied like it was obvious.

"But…it isn't training or a battle."

"And?"

"Hokage-jiji said using shadow clones for other purposes would make a fox die!" Ahh, there was the problem. Shin had long since figured out how the Hokage and ANBU duped Naruto into following rules or doing their dirty work, and no amount of reasoning would convince him they were lying. Heck, if Sai didn't insist Iruka was a traitor Shin would believe it was another setup by the Hokage. Think, Shin, think. Light, meet bulb (AN: Same thing Sarutobi said with the shadow clone lie).

"Well Kohai, I have come across a solution to the problem." Naruto looked up hopefully.

"You have?"

"Oh yes, I have. I find that if you shout "Shin is Great" then the Shinigami is appeased and doesn't take the fox!" Sai looked at him, wondering how he thought Naruto would fall for it. Of course, though, Naruto gasped in amazement.

"The Shinigami thinks you're great?!"

"Definitely. He finds my overall awesomeness too much to ignore. The shadow clone jutsu is super useful in everyday life, even if I can only make one. They can cook for you, clean for you. Heck, I even make them do my mission reports!" A blast of air is the only indication Naruto was there, as he ran full speed to his jiji.

Hokage Office…

Currently the Hokage and Dragon were having an inventory meeting. Normally Sarutobi would be talking to Naruto about how his day went, but since those two Root boys joined- he really couldn't complain as it evened the class out- Naruto had come back later and went straight to missions, training, and his apprenticeship. He knew the two boys were talked into helping with 'rooting out the traitor'. He just prayed the three wouldn't do anything drastic. Just as the two were discussing the woes of careless shuriken use, the object of his thoughts came in with an air of triumph.

"I DID IT! I SOLVED IT!" He shouted. Sarutobi winced at the volume and asked kindly.

"Oh? What did you 'solve'?"

"Just the secret to paperwork." Instantly both Dragon and Sarutobi were shaking him.

"HOW?! HOW DO YOU BEAT IT!" Naruto grinned behind the mask.

"Just say "Shin is Great" and make your shadow clones do it!"

Mechanically the most powerful shinobi in the village put his hands in the cross sign. "Shin is Great: Shadow clone jutsu!" And five clones appeared for paperwork duty. "Naruto: my pride and joy. You have saved the village. What can I do as thanks?" Both men bowed to the ten year old.

"Umm…"

Up in the rafters Boar shook with laughter as his little brother managed to get both his bosses to admit defeat. He made sure to take a picture for blackmail later.

Danzo's office, later…

"Danzo-jiji, I solved the paperwork mystery!" Naruto shouted happily. Twenty Root agents had their swords at his throat, and Danzo looked hysterical.

"HOW?! TELL ME!" He grabbed his menace and shook him ragged.

"Easy: Say "Shin is Great" and make a shadow clone and make them do it!"

Much like his rival Danzo followed that order blindly, not realizing he just called his most hated and unkillable operative Great.

And thus Shin would inadvertently go down in history as the only one who made both the darkness and god of shinobi say he was 'Great' in the same day.

END! How was that?! I have to wonder how Sasuke's genin introduction will go considering "Itachi just lost third place". Have an awesome Friday.