After Miguel and Samuel dropped off an Explorer for me and Miguel finished thanking me for the money he had won, Lula and I decided to head to the bank robber's residence. It was on a stretch of Stark Street that wasn't in the worst area, but it wasn't in the best either. There was a fifty percent chance that my car would be there after I went into the house to retrieve the skip. The Explorer was too nice for car thieves to ignore, yet not nice enough to be the car of a drug dealer and therefore strike terror in the hearts of the residents. Of course, despite my cars not being as nice as the Explorer, they had a habit of being stolen anyway. Go figure.

Lula and I got out of the car and suited up. I was already wearing my bulletproof vest on under my winter coat. Ranger had encouraged me to wear Kevlar but, after I complained one too many times about the fact that it squished down my girls, he bought me a custom made bulletproof vest. Unlike the Kevlar, the fabric was high-tech and light, and it allowed my skin to breathe. At the same time, he bought me a windbreaker made of the same material for the times that I didn't want to wear a vest.

Lula was also wearing her vest. Lula had been so envious of my bulletproof vest and utility belt that Ranger and I had bought one of each for Lula for her birthday. She had been turning thirty, and we wanted to get her something special. I think it was her favorite present that she had ever received. She was still thrilled to have an excuse to 'dress' accordingly for a takedown, and frequently wore her utility belt, even when she was sitting down. It had come in handy when we'd been facing down the bookie's thugs, as it meant that Lula's gun had been close at hand for threatening the thugs. Mine, however, had been in the trunk of the car. I'd had to retrieve it before I let the car go to the mechanic's.

I didn't know what I'd do about my car. Ranger would tell me to junk it and drive the Explorer, and that was one option. It just seemed wrong, however, to drive a Rangeman vehicle for non-Rangeman activities. It seemed a little like stealing, and it left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

"So, are you planning on replacing your car this weekend?" asked Lula as we locked the doors and walked to the apartment building. I had parked three buildings down the street. This would make me less noticeable if I had to come back. Besides, it was the only parking spot available.

"I don't know", I said. "I know Ranger would just tell me that I should continue to drive the Explorer. He said that he leases it for my use anyway, and it is better to be driven than it is to be sitting there."

"I can't believe that he leases an extra car in case you need it."

"Yes, although I have so many car emergencies that it might make sense to do so. I probably drive one of his cars for five months cumulatively throughout the year. Leasing a car for me is cheaper than renting a car for the amount of time that I would need it."

"That's true. You have a lot of car emergencies."

"Yes, and I have found that it doesn't make sense for me to drive Big Blue. I'm too noticeable in it." Although it wasn't good for stakeouts because of its inability to go incognito, Ranger had asked me – for the sake of my own safety – to make personal choices so that I blend in with the crowd a bit. This meant no dyeing my hair an outlandish colour, no wearing outlandish clothes…and no driving Big Blue. Being someone who typically chose things that fit the mainstream, I didn't find this particularly hard. Besides, when I was with Lula no one even noticed me. I blended into the background, and that was the way I liked it.

"That's true as well, although it is a good car to drive when we are picking up seniors", said Lula. "They all seem to come more willingly just to have that trip down memory lane."

"That's true. It's a good car for that." I remembered the last time I had driven the car. It was, according to the ninety-year old man I picked up, a man's wet dream. While I couldn't speak to whether it was or wasn't, I was just impressed that he still remembered what one felt like.

We walked down the street and into the apartment building where the robber lived. "I was thinking that we should use Big Blue to pick up Willy Fish when we take him out for lunch next week", said Lula.

"That's true. He'd probably get a kick out of it, wouldn't he?" Willy Fish was someone that we had met through our skip chasing. He had been arrested for running down the street in high heels and nothing else. He said having his wanger out made him feel more alive, and since he was a senior he thought he could use all the energy and excitement that he could get. After the first time that Lula and I had picked him up and, on the way to the station, had taken him through a drive-through for something to eat, he purposely skipped court again just so that Lula and I would pick him up. He was fascinated by Lula's stories from being a 'ho and he liked having a meal out with us rather than eating in the retirement home. So we told him that we would take him out for a meal once a month if he could stay out of the courts. He liked being able to have new stories to tell his friends at the retirement home. On our side, for the price of some gas and some time away from our jobs, Willy bought us lunch and was great company. We didn't want to see him with a record if there wasn't a need for it. Willy was grateful that he didn't have to pay the higher rate of obtaining the bond from Vinnie, and we were happy because we always had a good time with him. We didn't tell Vinnie of our lunch plans though. That wouldn't go over well.

Especially since Willy wasn't the only person we did this for. There were a number of seniors that we picked up that were just looking for a bit of excitement in their lives. Those seniors were a lot of fun to spend time with. They reminded me of my grandmother – full of life and interested in everything. They had a lot of great stories, and often were very lonely. Once Lula and I identified them as repeat offenders, we did what we could to keep them out of the justice system. They didn't need to be clogging up the courts and, if we could brighten their day, wasn't it all worth it?

I looked back at my car as we entered the apartment building. The car was there, but there were three youths inspecting it. I didn't have high hopes that the car would be there when we came out.

Lula looked back at the car as well. "Oh, oh", she said. "I hope that car has a tracker on it." I just looked at her and she grimaced. "I know. That's a silly statement. All Ranger's cars have trackers on them. Just judging by the number of times that you've been kidnapped, I'm surprised that he doesn't have a tracker on you."

I laughed, but I didn't tell Lula that he did have a tracker on me. It was in my watch, and I had found in the past that it was quite helpful. It gave Ranger some piece of mind as well, and that was a good thing. Ranger tended to get a little overprotective of me. Although he handled it well, he was a little more protective of me than I had patience for. That tracker in my watch, however, was Ranger's and my secret. Morelli knew – he had found out the last time that I had been kidnapped – and the control room knew. But besides the Rangeman team and Morelli, no one else knew. That also was for my own protection.

We climbed the stairs to the apartment. By the time we got to the top, Lula was huffing like a freight train. I, however, had been working hard with Ranger and was only slightly out of breath as a result. Pleased with my improvement in physical fitness, I walked down to the skip's apartment and knocked on the door. I heard a scurrying near the door as the occupant looked out the peephole, and then nothing. I waited, and then pounded on the door again. After several more poundings, the woman on the other side of the door said, "what do you want?"

"Bond enforcement", I said. "You missed your court date and we need to take you into the station to reschedule."

"I'm a little busy right now", she said.

"We can wait. Just let us in first", I said.

"No."

"We are authorized to break the door down if you don't let us in." Although that was true that we were allowed to do so, the execution of it was a little more problematic. I could only hope that Darla didn't know that.

"I don't believe you", she said.

I looked at Lula and she looked at me. "I'm wearing genuine knock-off Louboutins. If it wasn't for the two B's and the lack of O's in the name, you'd think that they were real."

I looked down at her shoes. "They do look real. Where did you get them?"

"Mooner had a new shipment in." Mooner was someone that I went to high school with. He funded his drug habit by selling items, mostly knock-offs and mostly stolen. If you ever wanted a fake watch or purse or pair of shoes, or anything at all, Mooner was the person to go to.

"I'll have to check him out." I turned to the door. "Darla, if you make Lula break down the door and potentially break the heel off her shoes, I'd hate to see what Lula will do to you."

"I could shoot the door", said Lula, "if asking nicely doesn't work. I just don't want to wreck my shoes."

"I understand", I said.

"You could always break the door down", said Lula.

I tried not to laugh. "Lula, you have those great linebacking skills to fall back on. You are able to take down a stuck pig at fifty paces. I, however, do not have great linebacking skills."

"What does that mean, to take down a stuck pig at fifty paces?"

"Hell if I know. I just thought it sounded good."

"Hunh."

"The point is that you are capable of breaking down the door. Me, not so much."

"I don't want to wreck my shoes."

"I don't want you to wreck your shoes either. That's why I think you should take a run at it and put your shoulder into it, and that way you don't wreck your shoes."

"I can see that", said Lula. "I really don't want to break my shoes."

I stood back and looked at the door. "If you don't open the door, we'll break it down and come in after you."

"You wouldn't dare", she said. "Those are genuine knock-off Louboutins after all."

"These are the nicest shoes that I have ever worn", said Lula.

"Go for it", I said as I stood back.

Lula walked back a few feet, put her shoulder down, and ran forward as fast as she could. As she got to the door, however, the door opened. Lula, unable to stop her momentum, rushed inside, through the hall and tripped over a table. She landed on the ground in a heap, her arms and legs splayed out everywhere. I was just glad that she was wearing leggings. If she'd been wearing a skirt, she'd be flashing her doodad at us, and I knew from experience that Lula in a thong was not a pretty sight. "Ow", she said.

"Did you break anything?" I said.

"No."

"Are your shoes okay?"

Lula inspected her shoes. "They're good."

Darla looked down at Lula and inspected her feet as well. "Those do look like genuine knock-off Louboutin shoes", she said. "I'd like to buy a pair of those."

"So would I", I said.

"Maybe you could take me on the way to jail", she said.

I looked at Lula and Lula smiled. "Road trip", she said.

"I still have to cuff you", I said to Darla. "But don't worry. You wouldn't be the first person that I have taken to Mooner's place in cuffs before."

"Yeah, and that's not including all the times that you've taken him in", said Lula.

We cuffed Darla, got her purse and locked up her apartment, and walked with her down to my car. Three youths were working on it. Apparently they were new to carjacking, because they had been working on breaching the doors to the car the whole time that we were upstairs. Not that the capture had taken overly long. It was getting up the stairs to the fourth floor that took all the time.

"Hey", I said. "Leave my car alone."

"Or what are you planning on doing, bitch?" said one of the youths.

I pulled out my gun. "I'll shoot you, starting with your toes and working my way up your body until I shoot you in the head. Of course, I'm not a very good shot and might hit you in the balls with my first shot…Just saying."

The youth also pulled out a gun and, as he said, "this is what I think of that, bitch", he turned to my car and shot it full of holes. Homies from all directions poured out of their homes and came to admire the new bullet holes in the Explorer. "You have got to be friggin' kidding me!" I said over their hooting and hollering as I looked at my car. Fluids were leaking from at least eight holes, and a puddle was forming in the slush under the car.

"Forty minutes. I think that's a new record for you", said Lula.

I groaned.

"What about the sale?" said Darla. "If you don't have a car, how will we get to the sale?"

"We'll just have to wait a few minutes", said Lula, "for a new car to be dropped off. Stephanie knows the car fairy and can rustle one up quickly."

I took out my phone, sighed, and dialed the control room. "Hi, Hal?" I said. "I have a little problem with the car."

Hal let out a bark of laughter. "Stolen or incapacitated?"

"An attempted steal that turned into an incapacitated."

"Does it need towed to the mechanic's?"

"Yes", I said. The homies were standing around laughing about the condition of my car and giving the shooter high fives. As I watched them, one of the youths took out a cigarette and lit it. "NO!" I said. I'd had experience with cigarettes and cars leaking gasoline before.

"No?" said Hal.

The youth dropped his cigarette on the ground in a puddle of gas, and the flash fire soon caught the car on fire. Lula and Darla and I moved back. Lula and I had experience with cars catching fire as well. We knew that, when the fire made its way to the gas tank, the cars had a tendency to explode.

"Nope, I changed my mind", I said. The fire got to the gas tank and a loud boom was heard.

"Steph?" said Hal.

"I think it's time to take this car to the wreckers", I said.