Chapter 15
AN: Time for chapter fifteen already. Please enjoy, and review/comments are welcome.
That night…
Laughter was heard throughout the ANBU base as the pictures of Hiashi's doll collection spread. Even Flamingo was frothing at the mouth when he realized his stoic clan head was girlier than the Yamanaka. Only two ANBU were not enjoying the boon and potential black mail material.
The commander and his apprentice.
"Faster, Kitsune. I wouldn't want your friends to die because you can't outrun a sloth!" Dragon said in a sing song voice, grinning under his mask at his apprentice's plight. They were at their weekly training session and today Naruto was working on speed. By outrunning Dragon's sloth summons. While carrying both Sai and Shin. One really felt low when a sloth was gaining on them.
"Yeah kohai! Pick up the pace, Shin the Magnificent will not go down as the man beaten by a sloth!" Shin tugged on Naruto's hair like reigns.
"Shut it, bunny slippers! You try running from a sloth with two people on your shoulders!" Naruto yelled up, only to realize Shin wasn't listening.
"Why would I ever do something like that? That would be beneath me." He drawled while examining his fingernails. Sai sighed at his brother's antics.
"Shin, please act your age. And Naruto, think of how strong you'll be after this. Oh, and please stop swaying- it's hard to draw." Naruto tries to retort but Shin gags him.
"Less chit chat more escaping! That sloth is vicious looking!" He said franticly.
Said sloth grinned, drool running down as it dragged itself by the arms towards them. It was motivated- if it caught the odd trio and drooled on them it would have a month of no summoning to look forward to.
An hour later Naruto was crawling to the finish line. Shin and Sai were glancing nervously at their pursuer that was a mere foot from drooling on them. Three feet to the line.
Two feet.
Six inches.
Naruto's hand is almost across the line when the sloth swallows his foot.
"Glad that isn't me." Shin deadpans as Naruto screams in horror.
Dragon takes a picture before releasing his summons, and Naruto pants as his passengers dust themselves off.
"Next week you can carry Boar or Tiger if they're back from their mission!" Dragon pats the groaning heap that is his student and leaves to catalogue the newest photos.
"Sai. Shin. Water." Naruto begs. Unfortunately both were already gone, leaving a poor mascot to suffer alone. "Guys? Please?"
Hokage's office, days later…
"This is a mission of both national and personal importance." Sarutobi spoke with the seriousness of a war meeting, causing Naruto to shift nervously. His first solo mission outside the village. "This is my entry to the annual Calligraphy contest, which I've one first place many times. This year will be no different. You are to take this parcel to Tanzaku Gai and protect it with your life, as sending it through the mail would be foolish. Expect opposition from Danzo's men as the bastard always tries to steal my rightful place as king. Deadly force is authorized, for the good of Konoha!" Naruto accepted the scroll, glancing at the poem inside written out in beautiful script.
"Understood." He sets off, vowing not to lose, even to Danzo-jiji.
ROOT…
"My old rival is entering the most prestigious Calligraphy contest again this year. My entry must win first place. Sarutobi is sending Naruto to Tanzaku Gai with his poem- intercept him and destroy his entry while ensuring mine makes it to the entrance office. Deadly force is permitted if need be. Do not fail me. If you succeed I will waive you from the camp." Sai and Shin gulp but bow, hopeful.
"Yes, Danzo-sama."
Hours later, half way to Tanzaku Gai…
Naruto barely touched the branches as he headed towards the town. Failure was not an option- if he succeeded Hokage-jiji would let him not go to Camp Danzo. Nobody would stop him, not even Sai or Shin. A volley of shuriken and ink beasts stop his thoughts.
"Oi! Come out, Shin, Sai. I know you're there." Naruto shouts after he dodges the attack. Out steps his comrades, his brothers, his friends.
His enemies.
"Tsk, tsk. My little kohai, much improved. But you're not strong enough to fight both of us yet. Give me the scroll and we'll let you go." Shin said with steel in his voice. Sorry Naruto, but our lives this summer are at stake!
"Not going to happen! Shadow clone jutsu!" Thirty Narutos appear and charge the boys in different directions as Naruto tries to escape. It works too, except Shin was better at telling which was a clone than Naruto thought.
Shin draws his tanto, meeting Naruto's in mid air. The struggle for dominance freezes time until Sai's bird breaks them up. Landing on opposite tree branches they face off, both having their scrolls strapped to their backs . Soaring into the air both Naruto and Shin send shuriken at the silk straps, cutting the entries that flutter to the ground.
"Fire style: Great Fireball jutsu!" Were the twin calls, as both scrolls incinerate in mid air. Sai face palms at the sight as the two jutsu happy ninjas look triumphant.
"Guys…you doomed us all." He informed them, causing both to shiver as they saw the twin piles of soot.
"Maybe they wouldn't have won anyway?" Naruto tries. Shin snorts.
"Hardly. The Hokage always wins and Danzo-sama is consistently in second or third. They'll notice alright." Sai pulls his will out again. Time to prepare his estate. All three sit down in despair.
"…"
"…'
"I GOT IT!" Naruto bolts up. Shin looks up, hopeful behind the porcelain. "We'll just make our own calligraphy poems and sign up as them!"
"Kitsune, that won't work." Sai tries. Shin though, is buying into it.
"Yeah, that could work! I bet they only win because of their stations anyway- I mean, have you read Danzo-sama's poem? It was about emotionless love. How does that even work?"
"I know, right? Hokage-jiji wrote about life's greatest pleasure being tobacco- boring. I'll bet we can make their entries better!"
"But how do we plan to make both have first place?" Sai, the voice of reason, asks. Naruto thinks for a moment before clapping.
"The rules allow couples to enter together for the same placement! We'll just put Danzo-jiji and Hokage-jiji as a couple, that way they both win." Naruto said this as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Sai would have corrected him in his error of putting the two most dangerous and powerful men in their lives as an item but Shin was eating it up.
"Genius! That solves everything. Okay, SHL, let's make a poem."
Over the next hour Sai acted wrote out the rather…unique poem by Naruto and Shin in his fluid handwriting. He attempted multiple times to interrupt them and have them pick a less…controversial subject, but they were adamant.
When they turned it in the contest's facilitator read through it and gave them an 'are you serious' look, to which they expertly ignored. Shrugging the man filed it away. Who was he to judge other people's love lives?
Next issue of Calligraphy international…
Sarutobi lovingly used his letter opener to slice the manila file holding his victory issue. Sliding it out he smiles as his face comes into view on the cover…and Danzo's? Sarutobi breathed out- perhaps they tied and Danzo had sent another entry after Naruto incinerated his old one?
Thumbing to page thirty six he pales and goes red.
Congratulations to the couple entry by Sarutobi Hiruzen and Shimura Danzo! The lovely couple combined their talents and created a true testament to their growing feelings over the years. Titled "Two sides of the Leaf" the epic love poem talks of the forbidden nature of two boys turning into men, both destined to hide their feelings for the good of the village! Oh, how romantic.
Sarutobi's door slams open to a very irate Danzo.
"Hiruzen"
"I know" Sarutobi grinded out. "I believe three young puppies need to learn not to mess with the wolves."
"Camp Danzo is too far away" Danzo pointed out. Sarutobi nodded.
"True. They will be going, but until then… I think the Hyuga might want to help in their 'education'."
End! This chapter just sort of came to me- I hope that while unexpected the results of the Calligraphy missions brings you to tears of laughter.