Chapter 19
AN: I have never gotten so many reviews and pm's for one chapter! Wow, thanks for the love! I'm not completely sure what made chapter 18 so popular but I suspect it was the Akatsuki. Do y'all want me to include the red cloud cult some more?
Academy…
A dark cloud had descended upon Iruka's classroom: their resident ANBU hadn't been in class for a week- Hinata said he was on a really dangerous mission according to her father- and the whole class noticed his absence.
Sasuke loved every second of it. Finally he could brood by himself without those eyes on him. He hadn't had a spasm in six days! Six days of peace, of not looking over his shoulder. While everyone else- even Iruka- sighed in mourning, Sasuke sighed in bliss.
"Never fear, my charges! Rising from the depths of hell, surviving a fate worse than death! It is I, future ANBU commander Kitsune!" A childish voice rang out from everywhere. Sasuke suppressed the urge to crawl under the desk.
Naruto landed on Sasuke's desk, worried. He was gone a long time and he wouldn't forgive himself if the traitor harmed his assignment. "Sasuke? You okay?" Naruto asked as Sasuke turned white as a sheet.
Meanwhile, Sasuke was panicking. WHY? WHY CAN'T HE BE OBSESSED WITH SOMEONE ELSE- SAKURA OR IRUKA-SENSEI. ANYONE ELSE!
"Iruka! He's hyperventilating! I must take him to the hospital!" Naruto yelled and swung the older boy over his shoulder. Without a second thought they were off.
Meanwhile, Sarutobi's office…
"Hokage-sama, that poor Uchiha" Flamingo muttered. No self respecting Hyuga would show concern for an Uchiha, but then again no Uchiha had ever before had to survive being the center of Naruto's concern (especially mission Naruto: the boy would do insane things to make a mission successful, the 'calligraphy incident' being a prime example).
"Should we pull Kitsune off of the academy watch job? He knows the curriculum well enough now, Iruka is not a traitor, and the Uchiha can't take much more." Lizard questioned. Boar and Sarutobi snorted.
"And lose this source of midday entertainment? Hell no" Sarutobi said. Lizard sweat dropped a bit before trying again.
"But his hit list! Aren't you worried about him going after the Mascot? Or even being ready for active duty with his mental state?"
"Psh. My dear underlings: having an impossible goal is healthy for a ninja. Sasuke will never be strong enough to kill or even maim Naruto- especially when he take the caffeine pills Boar made him for emergencies- and it's better than him leaving for Itachi. And if he becomes too damaged for duty, I'll just have Inoichi wipe his mind, problem solved" Sarutobi finished with a wave of his hand.
"H-hokage-sama! That's so…ninja like of you" Lizard said reverently. The other ANBU nodded along and started whispering.
"Yeah, tell me about it- he's usually so political."
"More paper pusher than jutsu thrower."
"I guess he was a ninja after all."
"The 'God of Shinobi' is back."
Hiruzen Sarutobi had never felt so betrayed by his men. It was time to show them he wasn't useless like the Haruno clan (AN: Couldn't resist- love Sakura, but couldn't resist) is at everything.
"Cha! ANBU! Gather all forces for a week long camping trip- Shikaku will assign the jonin and chunin to cover and Danzo will act as Hokage- Boar, go grab Kitsune and bring him to me. Everyone: we leave in one hour from the tower!" Sarutobi would teach the youngsters why he was still feared by Kumo and Iwa.
Thirty minutes later…
"He cannot stay with me" Danzo pounded his cane on the floor. Shin and Sai were still recovering from the brainwashing and he refused to allow the bastard the opportunity to corrupt more of his men.
"Nor I: the Hyuga would not survive" Hiashi said gravely. A week to punish the ANBU would be welcome, but suicide without the Hokage to control him.
"The Aburame are having their yearly insect mourning for the fallen allies during the past twelve months- outsiders are not allowed."
"I understand having Dragon and one other ANBU left behind in the village- especially as he is the Academy guard- but why can't he just stay in HQ?" Inoichi asked. He had never met the ANBU, but they were supposed to be professional.
"Inoichi-sempai…never suggest such a foolish idea again." Ibiki shuddered: he and Anko suggested Naruto stay with one of them, but Dragon shot it down while also refusing to look after him. Something about not allowed to steal other's apprentices.
"The Nara clan….too troublesome to have him based off my son's reports." Shikaku grumbled. The Akimichi were overflowing in lodgings as were the Inuzuka.
"Sigh. Not good." Sarutobi said. Boar stepped forward, a mischevious grin hidden behind his mask.
"Hokage-sama. Why not Iruka? The two know eachother somewhat." Sarutobi thought about it.
"Fine, I'll allow it- as long as you place hidden cameras with enough storage for the week- it will be perfect for comedy night." Everyone but the ANBU and the Hokage face faulted a bit at the admission.
One the way to Iruka's…
"And remember: sleep deprivation for a week will make him putty in your hands" Boar said sagely. He had just given his little brother his next 'mission'. Iruka would survive- unless suicide became preferable to him- so no harm done.
"Yes, nii-san! I will make the traitor confess once and for all."
"Good, Kitsune. I know you will. You make me so proud." Boar patted Naruto on the head.
Iruka took a deep breath when he heard the door bell. Okay, Iruka. You can do this- a babysitting job that is S-rank pay everyday? Should be easy. You'll finally have enough for that vacation and new house you wanted! Game face on Iruka opened the door.
When he sees both ANBU looking too innocent he knows he's screwed.
End! I will have the Inuzuka madness next time- this was just too funny to pass up and acted as an interlude. How will the ANBU survive Camping: Hokage style? And will Iruka finally go off the deep end? What about Sasuke? Have a fantastic Wednesday everyone.