Chapter 12, Enjoy

Warning: Dungeon Crawling, proceed with caution

Disclaimer in chapter 1, have fun!

Story mode looks like this

Two and A Half Women, oh...and Carlos:

DUNGEON CRAWLER EDITION PT.2

"This the place?" The battle harden warrior grunted, looking up at the mouth of the dangerous looking cave, "Huh, doesn't seem too bad."

"From what the traveling Dwarven Merchant said, treasure beyond our imagination lies in there, waiting," The Elf, a dashing, handsome tall, hulk of an elf, with blond hair and a full beard-

"Wait a minute, I call haxx," Julie looked up from the board and over to Diesel, glaring, "Elves can't grow facial hair!"

"They can too!" Diesel glared back, "Deda?"

"No, they cannot," Maxim looks up from the propped storyline, brow crinkled. "Julie is right, how'd you know?"

"Lord of the Rings, duh."

"Genetic defect!" Heidi shouted, looking over to Diesel, "His elf could have a genetic defect!"

"Deda?"

"I'll allow it, but you have to roll for it, and it's going to have to be a pretty high number, looking at 19 and up."

Diesel grabbed the 20 sided die and rolled it, whooping when it landed on 20, "McCool Spell has a full beard!"

"Fine, fine, whatever!"

Erm- where were we, oh yes…the elf played with his beard for a while before turning to the last member of the party, "Kind, lovely, darling-"

"What it bud, that's my kin you speak highly of…" The warrior flexed their muscles.

"Heh-heh, Healer, what do you think? Shall we go inside and look for treasure?" The Elf looked at the short healer, with a smile on his face.

The kind-hearted and pure-hearted healing mage from an ancient tribe of healers looked at the two in her party and-

Maxim looked over to Heidi, "Oh, there's a blurb here, it says, 'This branch of healing mages are gifted with insight, and are able to reveal people's true intentions, This grants you a boost, when it comes to reading enemies and strangers alike but only you can see them, you have to interpret to the others."

Heidi sipped her juice box, "Did I read the Merchant's intentions?"

"Yes, his intentions are not pure, downright dangerous, they are," Maxim doesn't look up, "You have to roll the dice. Any number between 1-10 means that you will misinterpret the intention, 11-20 you will interpret these intentions perfectly."

Heidi grabbed the 20 sided die and then rolled it, "…"

"A one? Ugh, Just like in real life, your character has zero street smarts," Julie sighed shaking her head, "We're doomed!"

"Can I roll for a hidden power?" Heidi looked up at Maxim.

"I'll allow it, Healing Mages do get a hidden power, as a last resort," Maxim handed Heidi a 5 sided die "5 means the power you have is unnaturally strong and one means it's weak sauce."

Heidi rolled the die, "Ha! 5, I'm the strongest one here!"

"Oi-what?!" Julie growled, turning to Heidi, "No, I am."

"Well," Diesel held up their stats cards, "When you compare stats, Julie, Heidi's are higher than yours by like 11."

"How is that even possible?"

"While you were looking at weapons with the biggest boom factor," Heidi sniffed, "I was looking at items and powerups that would aid in my stats, I made sure to choose items that would make me strong."

"Shit...well, let's get back to the game!"

The Healer opened her mouth and said, looking at the two warriors, "I want to be a healer with big boobies!"

"HEIDI! YOU SHOULD SAID THAT DURING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!" Julie shook her sister.

"Can I roll?"

"….I'll allow it, don't know why," Maxim sighed, as Heidi rolled the die, "Hmm, your character will have big boobies, but will knock things down with them, gonna have to add a +2 clumsy factor."

"Dagnabit…."

The healer, with the rather large chest, looked to her fellow teammates and said, "I've not read any ill intent from the merchant, it will be safe for us to go inside."

With that declaration, the three head into the cave, their adventure begins…..

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)

"Ugh! Spiders, I hate spiders," Heidi the Healer wailed as Badass the Bomber rained down fire and brimstone on the spider's nest, "McCool Spell, save meh!"

"Kind of busy at the moment," McCool Spell wheezed out as he dodged a giant spider's leg, "I call upon the goddess of destruction, rain down your fire rain on these creatures!"

The cave lit up with white light and-

"You gotta roll for that one," Maxim pushed his glasses higher up on his nose and looked at his son, "God Magic is volatile and downright dangerous,"

"Crap," Diesel tossed a handful of dice and sighed as the number was okay, not good, or bad, but okay, "I'll take that!"

"Oh, don't forget, you have the magic tuner we found in a crack at the bottom of the cave lake, multiplies your power for each successful roll you do, up to 10 times, you're on your ninth roll, do it's at nine times," Julie hummed, looking down at the stats, "Can we roll to combine the god magic and my bombs?"

"Lower than a 5 and you'll destroy the room your in and send all 3 of you into different areas of the cave." Maxim finished his beer and cracked his neck.

"Shit, I rolled a 3, we're boned!"

With the combination of god magic and bombs, the spider nest is in ashes but our three heros fall , separated from one another.

"Roll, there are seven levels left of this cave," Maxim watched as the kids picked up a 7 sided die and rolled, "Oh…Julie, level 9, another water lake, but this one is filled with man eating sirens. Diesel, level 8, you have to fight a giant 3 headed dog. And Heidi, level 12, final level, where the boss monster resides but the great treasure is there as well."

"Ugh…" Diesel groaned.

The Healing Mage found herself at the mercy of the true cave boss monster, a creature that had once been man, but, in his quest to get more power, killed 1000 demons and fused with their magic-

"Roll to make him hot."

"WHAT?"

"I'll allow it, has to be a perfect 20."

"HA! 20, he's a dreamboat," Heidi cooed.

"Heidi, what about me? The handsome Elf, McCool Spell."

"Roll to change Diesel's name to McDeadman."

"Julie!"

"I'll allow it, 18 or better."

"Ha! A 19, name changed!"

"Anyways back to the game!"

The hot man monster trained his eyes on the healing mage and summoned her to him with his powerful magic. He looked at her fearful amber eyes, leaned in closer to-

"Roll to make him kiss me."

"Okay, 3 or better."

"WHAT SUCH LOW NUMBERS?"

"5! Ha! Roll to make him fall in love with me."

"15 or better."

"…17! Roll to marry me and give me the treasure!"

"That's going to be rolled on the 30 sided die and you have to get 28 or better."

"Hnn…." Heidi rolled the die, "WHOOP Perfect 30!"

"Bonus multiplier, he's utterly devoted to you." Maxim looked over to Heidi.

"YES! I want him to save the rest of the team, give us the treasure, help us out of the cave and join our party as our strong man/ my husband."

"What is wrong with you?" Julie asked her sister.

"Since you rolled a 30, this is all allowed, the hot Man Monster joins your team, saves the rest of the party and you two live happily as man and wife, this adventure concludes for the night," Maxim closed the book, "It's 3AM, go to bed."

"I didn't even get to use my bombs properly," Julie moaned but yawned, "Tomorrow, I will!"

"Yeah, let's play again tomorrow!"

Maxim looked at the children and smiled brightly, "It warms my heart to see you all excited for this game! Tomorrow your quest continues on!"

TBC….

What a good way to spend a rainy weekend! Smell Ya later!