Chapter 27

AN: Hey everyone, I hope your weekends were enjoyable! Here's the next installment in mascot, please enjoy.

Two weeks later…

Tora the 'demon cat' was in heaven. Her mistress was in a meeting meaning nobody knew the feline had escaped, the sun was shining in a nap inducing warmth, and the three brats trying to murder her were no where to be seen. Two weeks of constant assassination attempts really wore an immortal kitty cat out- theres only so many dodged kunai or poisoned mice a cat can take after all. Laying on a high branch Tora flicked her tail, watching a chicken who was clucking on the forest ground below.

Wait, chicken? With a vicious smirk Tora crouched on the branch. Tapping into her hunter instincts she bounded down with a grace unheard of for a creature so overweight.

"Mreooow" the demon cat hissed in glee, digging claws sharpened on foolish genin into the back of the innocent chicken. She thought victory was hers, until her downed victim turned to face its attacker and spoke.

"CLUCK- Why you! Secret chicken style: Pecking barrage!" The chicken screeched and with a battle cry dozens of other chickens appeared around the area and dive bombing Tora.

"Meow!" The cat cried. She hadn't realized her almost meal was actually a part of the blasted chicken clan, known for their insanity and mass battle tactics. As far as Tora knew no one survived the 'pecking barrage' unless they escaped indoors. Fearing for her immortal life Tora did something she never did before- she ran towards home.

Meanwhile, in the trees…

"Wow! You were right- chickens are awesome!" Naruto cheered when the chickens left in pursuit of their prey. Shin basked in the praise while Sai wondered if his brother really needed an ego boost.

"I know, I know. Your sempai is truly amazing, isn't he?" Shin asked with a pleased smirk.

"Yes, I am" A voice chuckled behind them. The three jumped off the branch and whipped around, weapons drawn. Boar was leaning against the trunk of another tree, mirth evident in his voice and posture.

"Boar-nii!" Naruto cried and glomped the man, climbing up to his shoulders from the legs like an inch worm. Boar allowed this to happen, just rolling his eyes behind his mask.

"Kitsune, Viper…Rabid bunny slippers" He greeted and pointedly ignored Shin's indiginent protests. "While I admire your willingness to rid the world of Konoha's menace, those chickens won't work."

"And why not?" Naruto asked, now doing a hand stand on the older ANBU.

"Oh, it's just that Tora's immortal you know." Boar replied. The boys nodded.

"But my chickens won't stop until Tora's dead or apologizes"

"Or escapes indoors" Boar adds. "And Tora was running towards her house. And the chickens will keep attacking the outside until their chakra runs out." The boys stiffen and pale.

"We have to go"

"I'll prepare to summon Tsubaki"

"Bye Nii-san"

And with speeds the Yellow flash would be proud of they set off to prevent Shin's chickens from destroying the Daimyo's village home.

Sasuke was enjoying a peaceful lunch with his big brother. The two sat in companionable silence at a local tea shack, the late spring afternoon proving to be magnificeint. Better yet, his stalkers were only at school the last two weeks. And even then their attention was focused on a white board with a crudely drawn cat and a book 'How to Kill an Immortal like a badass'. Sasuke didn't ask, he just thanked his luck that he was one hundred percent mortal.

Poor bastard who couldn't die, as Sasuke was certain the three would be the first to break the mold. Suddenly a mass horde of chickens chasing a cat flew by during a sip of tea.

"Itachi-nii?"

"You will find little brother, that in some instances, ignorance is bliss" Itachi said sagely. Sasuke thought for a moment before nodding. He could subscribe to that ideology, especially when Kitsune and his accomplices run in the same direction not three minutes later.

Too late. Too late they called off the horde, and the mansion that had been around since the second war resembled more 'swiss cheese' and 'poop pile' than the 'regal historical marker' and 'beautiful home' that it was usually known for. The Chicken Clan had done something not even the Kyubi could claim in its rampage ten years ago: they had almost demolished the most important building in the village.

"We're screwed" Shin gulped at the sight once all his summons dispersed. That nervousness turned to rage when he spotted their target on the third floor, sitting in a window. The cat looked at them, and stuck its tounge out. "The kid gloves are off! LET'S SEE HOW SHE TAKES THE WILL OF FIRE IN PHYSICAL FORM! FIRE STYLE: PROTECTING THE GREAT TREE JUTSU" Shin screamed, trying out his new jutsu, one he had been planning on sharing with the rest of the followers of the Will of Fire at the monthly gathering. Oh well, the cat was mocking him.

Later, Hokage's office…

Sarutobi banged his head repeatably on his desk as the Daimyo's wife sat off to the side stroking a smoked cat that was slowly healing.

Damn it! Why couldn't succeed- at least then it'd be worth it. But now there's six stacks of paper work and the Daimyo will no doubt be visiting wondering why an ANBU helped burn down the village's second oldest home.

In front of him were the three responsible. Sai looked the most contrite, and Naruto at least seemed to be sweating under Sarutobi's aged glare. Shin though was engaging in a glaring contest with Tora.

"I'll get you next time" He promised. The Daimyo's wife sobbed louder and snuggled Tora closer. Tora sent a challenging look, and a new rivalry was born.

"Hokage-sama! I demand these three- three monsters be executed!" She pointed a finger in said 'three monsters' direction. Sarutobi repressed a face palm, knowing she had the right to request it, but that he couldn't- and wouldn't!- indulge her. Suddenly, his ninja skills came back to him, and he pulled out an old Hokage trick his sensei used.

"I'm sorry, Shira-sama, but that won't be possible. Academy students can't be executed, which both Shin and Sai are."

"Then that ANBU!"

"Was not there" Sarutobi assured her. "He arrived on the scene afterwards I'm afraid." He put on a false concerned tone.

"B-but I saw him cheering on the grey one's actions and waving at my kitty as she made a daring escape!"

"A genjutsu, I'm afraid. Actually, the whole situation was a misunderstanding." He said. She gave a deadpanned look.

"Come again?"

"Shin and Sai are orphans and as such enjoy pranking others. Kitsune here is the academy's guard and often times checks up on the unfortunate souls without a role model. Sai is adept at genjutsu" I hope "so he put up that illusion to confuse and cause trouble. Kitsune appeared with the other ANBU to douse the fire. My ANBU would never just watch your home burn" Without me there- stupid house "and as such there is no case."

"Then how will you punish the two?" She asked angrily, knowing ninja were able to do many magical things- why not believe the Hokage?

"Oh? I thought perhaps that Tora and you would enjoy a vacation to Moon country while your house is being rebuilt. I'll send them as your personal servants and Kitsune and Boar as body guards. How about it? A month long paid shopping and vacation experience?" This will teach them to screw with jutsu inside the village and get that cat out of my hair.

"Oh, Hokage-sama! You really know the way to a girl's heart!"

Up in the rafters a certain ANBU turned to his fellow guard.

"Please just kill me." He begged. The Inu ANBU sniggered.

"Hell no. This is too entertaining."

Meanwhile, a certain cat smiled evilly: oh the joys at the torture it could cause!

In Ame…

Pein himself was having a bad week. His physical body was stronger from not needing to use his paths constantly, but it just meant he himself had to cope with the curse of kages.

"I need a vacation" He pleaded Konan. The woman rolled her eyes but pulled out the map.

"Where? Konoha is said to be rather beautiful"

"NO! He's there" Pein gripped his hair. "Moon country!" He decided pointing to the map. "ANBU don't get vacations so I'll be safe there. Pack the bags, I'm going to Moon."

"YAY! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI AND EVERYONE GOES ON A VACATION!" A certain masked Akatsuki member pops out of a floor tile and goes to inform everyone of the plan. Pein just collapsed.

"Well, at least he won't be there."

If only he knew.

End! This was an idea rolling in my head for awhile and I hope you people like my next chapter, 'Adventures in Moon'. I watched the Naruto movie about the island recently and it made me want to write about something set there! Just a little note: I know Tobi is Obito, duh, but his childish personality fits- plus, being brainwashed into the 'Will of Fire' has been known to have adverse side effects on the human mind.