Chapter 30
AN: Sooo, this will be a short chapter, but I hope you find the humor in it! I worked hard on it and it took awhile for inspiration to strike- I guess it's because right now I'm really engrossed in my other story and preparing for move ins.
Next day, beach…
"Decide, my priest: whose sand castle shows the true meaning of the Will of Fire and art?!" Deidara beckoned the still half asleep Naruto to the beach. Naruto's eyes widened behind the eye holes at both Deidara's and Sasori's creations.
"Umm…" He tried.
"Priest-sama, observe my masterpiece- it is symmetry in stopped motion. Pefection." Sasori bowed and waved his hand towards his side. Deidara scoffed.
"As if- mine is more amazing! And look- KATSU" And bits of sand explode into fire works.
"No chakra, you numbskull, it's cheating."
"I'm a ninja, we live to cheat" Deidara stuck his tounge out. Naruto sweated a bit; he liked both equally but choosing one or the other would break the loser's heart.
"Hey, Priest-kohai! Look, I'm a sculptor" Shin shouted from the side. Glancing over was a lopsided 'castle' tower- just one bucket worth. It was pitiful, but Naruto took it.
"Shin wins! His masterpiece…it shows the simplicity in the 'Will of Fire!' Yes indeed, Shin wins. His is the best sandcastle in the world, and is now the Sandcastle king." And Naruto used a shunshin away.
"Heh, Shin, you rule" Shin complements himself. Meanwhile the two S-rank ninja were destroying their castles while sobbing.
Meanwhile, Suna…
"My sand castle senses are going off- someone stole my title of 'Sandcastle king'. This is unacceptable! I must regain my title" A certain red haired psycho mutters and sets off towards the dessert.
Konoha, ANBU training grounds, three weeks later…
Hayate was depressed, and not for the obvious reasons. It wasn't because his girlfriend made him join ANBU, or that he got stuck guarding the Hokage more thank missions. No, what had one Hayate Gekko staring listlessly into the sunset was his summons.
Specifically his favorite.
"And I'm sorry, but there needs to be boundaries! I refuse to be summoned in the desert again, Hayate! I am a catfish, not a freaking platypus: I can't fight on land."
"But Cuddles, I need" Hayate tried, but Cuddles cut him off.
"No! Either respect my wishes or we're through" And with a huff Cuddles the Catfish left.
With Naruto…
Naruto lay on his assigned bunk that night, still starving. He only had thirty plates of Dango! Ever since he discovered God's gift to man weeks ago he never wanted to go back. But nobody would let him eat all the Dango he wanted!
Worse, they'd be getting on the ship tomorrow to go home, meaning he'd be without his addiction for four whole days. Uneceptable!
"Shin is great: shadow clone jutsu" the ANBU whispered as one single clone appeared that he switched with. "Time to buy some emergency rations" Naruto declared as he grabbed his kitsune wallet stuffed from all his missions and watching of Sasuke/Iruka.
Darting over the tourist town at night Naruto grinned- under his uniform of course. The sweet smelling scent of Dango called him, leading his legs to an all night tea house.
"Excuse me, how much Dango can I get with this much?" Naruto dumped his wallet out. The clerk balked and mentally added the vast amount.
"Um…three hundred plates with four balls each."
"Great- get them for me then, a mixture of all your flavors!" With wide eyes the clerk complied, and fainted when the boy in the Kitsune mask made the Dango disappear into the scroll. "Thank you miss clerk." And the boy bounded out to go towards his hotel.
Pein strolled through the quiet street; he'd packed up his luggage, gathered his wayward…fellow travelors because lord knows they didn't follow his orders, and was relaxing in the sea breeze. Tomorrow they'd take a ship back towards the mainland.
"Hehehe- Dango, Dango, best food in the world! Tiny balls of dough, how tasty are you really!" A childish voice sings in a familiar tune and voice.
Hell no. Not again. Silhouetting in the moonlight as he glides in between buildings, Kitsune giggled. Just imagining things, I'll bet. Pein thinks, ignoring the evidence. Then, the lyrics hit him.
"That bastard- Ramen is king! Not that heathen Dango. Kitsune could only be a bigger menace if he turned out to be a fellow Uzumaki. Pein shuddered. "Stop scaring yourself Nagato- all Uzumakis are Ramen addicts. Besides, even if that was Kitsune, you'll be gone tomorrow before he sees you."
Boat, next day…
The Daimyo's wife rested in her boat room (AN: Lol, what are those called? Cabins? Bunks? Tiny overpriced rooms?) with Tora while Naruto and the others discussed travel details with the crew on the docks. Sai inched away from Naruto and crowds had their mouths agape as Naruto summoned Dango after Dango from the scroll and ate it 'through' the mask.
"Hokage-sama's gonna kill me" Boar moaned. Sai patted the man kindly, though refused to lie and say it'd be alright.
Pein was also discussing travel plans on the boat next dock, in bliss thinking he'd missed his nemesis. If I hurry back, I can make the treaty with Konoha before Kitsune returns to Konoha! Brilliant plan.
"MONSTERS! Don't you dare treat fish like food- they're friends to us all. Learn, you un believer!" Kisame screamed at a sailor from the deck. Just have to survive a week and a half.
"Shut up, Fish-face! They need to learn the evils of money, not eating fish!"
"Stupid Kakuzu, I want to talk to them about our membership program!"
Pein seriously wandered if he'd be better off becoming a farmer and changing his identity if this is what he had to deal with.
Konoha, two weeks later…
"Ah, Pein-dono, I am grateful for the chance to meet with you. I take it our talks tomorrow will be most fruitful" Sarutobi smiled at his fellow kage level ninja. Pein nodded stiffly.
"Yes. Since we are in peace talks, you may call me by my birth name, Nagato Uzumaki."
"Oh? An Uzumaki" Sarutobi said aloud in wonder. A certain ANBU that arrived back that morning gasped.
"YOU'RE AN UZUMAKI TOO?!"
"Shit" was Nagato's intelligent response. The universe just loved screwing with him.
End! Next time: Tora's revenge, Nagato's suffering, and the ANBU's horror. I hope you liked the ending of the arc, next chapter will be better!
Questions:
Any other personality flips y'all want to see?
I have Naruto's first assassination mission soon (Don't worry, won't be serious lol) so I want your opinion which ANBU/ANBU's should accompany him since I made a joke out of it twice.
The scene with Hayate was random, but how was it? Would y'all like other random scenes of other ANBU sometimes?
Thank you and have a great evening!