Chapter 32
AN: Part two of Nagato's attempted conversion to ramen! College is going well, and my other fic is really working out! Again, just so you all are aware, I am mainly focusing on my other fic, as this one's comedy story line isn't that difficult to put down for awhile and come back to. Anyway, onto the 'Code Ramen'.
With Naruto…
Naruto was in heaven, a mountain of dango was before him and the best part was no one was around to steal it! He wisely ignored the fact that a fortune worth of the dish was in an abandoned warehouse outside the village, or that he was getting sleepy; dango tended to wipe what little common sense he had away.
In the shadows various ANBU were sighing in relief. Their mascot had taken the bait and would soon be in for a long nap while Kakashi's team smoothed over the Nagato situation by offering up complimentary ramen and claiming Kitsune had a dire mission. He didn't need to know that 'dire mission' was a two day long nap in base to keep Naruto away from his relative.
"Cousin! I've come to rescue you" Nagato burst into the ware house after using his chakra sensing to seek out his tiny relative, and the ANBU tensed. Flamingo sent a quiet urgent message to Boar to hurry up with getting Sai in place and making Shin cooperate. "Kitsune…" Nagato tried, only to notice Naruto starting to tip. "Sedatives! Kitsune, spit that vile substance out! And you all, in the shadows: how dare you poison my cousin." Nagato would have used jutsu on them but being a non criminal leader prevented him from just breaching the contract anytime he wanted.
"Oh, Nagato? Go away, the dango calls" Naruto wailed as he struggled against his cousin's hold in vain. Nagato shook his head.
"Not until you have ramen, you little monster- er cousin. Come along, we have a date with Ichirakus." As the pair left the various ANBU slipped out as well to move onto plan B, seeing as plan A was an unfortunate failure.
"I said, take your sign and leave, Kakashi. I didn't close shop for the Kyubi attack, and I won't close it for you" An irate Teuchi glowered at the copy ninja who was holding out a wad of cash.
"Hokage-same has agreed to triple this pay- enough to send your daughter to civilian culinary classes, or even retire! Please, Teuchi, I'm begging you." The old ramen vendor just brandished his knife and turned back to his shop.
Nagato and Naruto appeared in time to see Kakashi attempt to shove the money in Teuchi's hands while said man pushed it away. The rinnegan user sweat dropped at the display but cleared his throat.
"Oh, Amekage-sama! Back for more? Please, sit down, and who's this?" Teuchi asked, looking at the cloaked Naruto who Nagato dumped without ceremony into the stool next to him.
"…my body guard." He said after a moment. "That, and the little heathen has never eaten ramen before so we'll have a bowl of each kind." Teuchi paled at the tall orders.
"I'm grateful for the business but isn't that too much? He looks rather young. Wait, you're the famous 'Kitsune of the Will of Fire'- said to have taken down a criminal organization and cleared Itachi Uchiha's name! You're famous. Ninja and villagers are all wondering who you are, and there's bets on how old you actually are." the vendor looked at the dimmunitive ANBU in something close to awe. Naruto did a victory sign an stood up.
"Heh, legends speak of my legends! From the east to the west, to the north and the south! Spreading the truth of Konoha and the goodness that is Dango! Bringing Konoha and the Ninja Ostrich summons fame, Kitsune is my name, future ANBU commander is my game!" With a final fist bump and a cheesy grin nobody could see Naruto sat back down. Nagato's eye twitched violently.
"My master plan was taken down…by this moron." He muttered. Banging his head on the counter the red head began wondering what he did to deserve this.
"My my, your introduction is very enthusiastic" Teuchi praised. "First bowl is on the house, boy! We'll convert you to ramen soon enough!"
"Please do. At least I won't have failed that" Nagato pleaded. Meanwhile, Kakashi cursed.
"Activate plan B" he whispered in a headset. Just as a bowl was placed in front of the dango addict he felt a pull and found himself blinking in an alley way, Flamingo and Boar grabbing him. They pull out a shot.
"Time for a nap, Kitsune" Flamingo said in a sweet voice, and Naruto gulped.
"No thanks, sempais, I'm on a mission and anyway shots are yucky!" He struggled but Boar held tight.
"Tsk, tsk, a future commander can't be afraid of needles can they?"
"I'll have Konohamaru outlaw them when he's Hokage and then it won't matter!" Naruto declared, and Flamingo had to face palm as that sounded exactly like something Konohamaru would do for Naruto.
"Almighty pull!" was heard and Naruto found himself once again in a new location, this time in Nagato's clutches.
Sai was having a hard time not sweating when he switched with his friend. He really didn't get what the big deal was if Naruto tried ramen but orders were orders. Once the food arrived the disguised Sai slowly took his first bite, carefully ignoring the powerful pair of eyes watching his every move.
"Well?" The man asked expectantly.
"It is…good?" Sai tried. They didn't prep him on how to act and no one could be Naruto except Naruto. To be so insane yet functional was a trait impossible to anyone but the blonde. That's when his supposed 'target's' eyes flashed red.
"You're not him. Almighty push! Almighty pull!" And Sai would forever swear that he saw his life flash as he soared above the village, landing in a pond on the other side of town.
"It appears they'll need my brother" Sai commented to himself while drying off. "Hopefully Shin will actually do his job without going overboard."
Back at the ramen stand…
Before Naruto could taste the ramen that did in fact smell heavenly once he was sat down once more, Tora jumped onto the counter and a mob of chickens descended onto the restaurant, Shin brandishing his tanto while riding one.
"FOR KONOHA!" Shin screamed, and Tora screeched. The mass of feathers and beaks converged as one.
"Chicken super style: thousand years of agony swarm!" They clucked. Nagato whitened and substituted with the nearest object out of the way, leaving his cousin and the stand to face chicken fury.
Hey, a little petty revenge was healthy for a ninja after all.
Minutes later…
Naruto and Flamingo were covered in bird poop, ramen broth, and feather, mixed with blood from various cuts. Tora hissed at Shin, who was standing with a smirk over her.
"Take that, demon! Shin forty six, Tora zero!" Shin cackled and left. Flamingo got up slowly, trying to preserve his Hyuga dignity.
"With Dignity, always Dignity" he chanted to himself. "Kitsune, you're relieved of your mission. Boar-san will escort your charge for the day." Naruto nodded mutely and left for a shower, still numb from the barrage. "Why couldn't he switch with Boar! The Bastard loves getting dirty, but noooo, he had to drag me into this!" Flamingo ranted as Naruto left.
Nagato himself stood in shock as the sacred temple of ramen was desecrated. He barely noticed or cared as the copy ninja consoled a weeping Teuchi with money and promises of rebuilding the stand.
"Ahahaha! You gotta love Shin, he's insane!" Boar cackled next to his new charge. Nagato turned mechanically towards him.
"That…monster was named Shin?" He asked.
"Yeah, he's an academy student" Boar said, giving the grey haired teen's cover story.
"…AN ACADEMY STUDENT?!"
"Yes, is there a problem? Don't worry Hokage-sama will have some take out ramen delivered to your room tonight."
"No, no problem. But if that's your academy students, I dare say Ame would lose any conflict against your village."
With Shin…
"You were supposed to stop him from eating it, not destroy the restaurant" Sarutobi scolded the young operative in front of him. To his annoyance- and slight fascination- the boy grinned.
"Yes, but where's the fun in that?" Next to Sarutobi Danzo face palmed.
"I should have left him in the orphanage" his rival muttered.
Two days later…
The two Uzumakis faced each other at the gates, Naruto munching on dango.
"Take care, cousin" Nagato finally said. Naruto bounced.
"Yep! I come to Ame for your birthday in December we'll get to know one another better!"
"Please don't, you don't have to-"
"And Shin, Sai, and I will get you a gift!" he finished while glossing over his older cousin's interruption. Nagato shrank back when he heard the first name.
"A-all three of you? E-even that, that demon? Shin is your 'sempai'?"
"Hmm? Yep! He's great" Naruto said with cheer. Nagato turned without a word and started walking quickly.
"Damn it, everything wrong with the world links back to HIM!" The rinnegan user wailed as he made his way home and pulled out his hair. "And worse, if I put them in the bingo books or ban them, Kitsune is likely to turn my entire country against me- all while laughing and eating that commoner's food."
Meanwhile, the other ANBU had already left, leaving Naruto to stare fondly after his cousin.
"Hey, kohai" Shin greeted, dropping down with a sealed bowl.
"Hey, sempai. What's that?" Naruto asked and cocked his head.
"Oh, just some of the Shinigami's personal favorite dish. Want to try some?"
"YATTA! Yes, yes, yes! Give me!" Naruto swiped the bowl and took a bite.
Instantly the world became nothing but a void, the only glow being the heaven that was in front of him. "I repent, oh great deliciousness, for I had followed the false god of dango before thee came along." Shin smirked as his kohai fell in love.
This will teach those bastards to make him babysit a cat and then let the Uchiha get him.
End. Kinda short, but again school and my other fic are the most important. Oh, can anyone guess where the 'Dignity' reference is from? Hint: think musicals.
Ps. Here's a preview…
The various Konoha ANBU squads were gathered in the commander's office, each giving off the calm vibe of the trained killers they were.
"I'm sure you are all aware why I've called you here" Dragon said in a grave voice. All the ANBU nodded. "Today is the day we split up into groups…"
"It's already time" Kakashi mused.
"Yes, it's time for the thirtieth annual 'ANBU shinobi tournament!" All the opporatives buzzed in excitement. One particular extra so.
"OOH! Me, me! Which squad am I on!" Naruto shouted. That's when it hit the various elites.
Naruto was never in the tournament before as for the first couple of years he was too young and the last couple he was either sick or on a 'Iruka spying mission'.
Naruto was free this year.
But the teams were even.
"Er, you are the mascot, Kitsune, and you'll get to cheer. Just until you're older, why don't you take the day off." Dragon said placently. The blonde pouted but nodded, and left to go bug Shin, who was strangely always sporting new bruises and muttering 'it was so worth it' lately since his cousin left. A tense silence fell on the group as the youngest disappeared. "Now that he's gone," Dragon said, and held up a money box, "who's going to fish out the most to have the mascot cheer for their team?"
"…" All of them sent hidden glares.
"US!" Each team screamed, fishing out all their money. Dragon sighed happily; his apprentice would make him rich.
End, again! This is the preview for the next chapter, so I hope you guys will like it! I might revise it a tad, but the idea is there. Enjoy your week!