Chapter 3

The next morning Luke woke up early, as was custom. Entering the meditation chamber they had repurposed into a kitchen, he was surprised to see Leia sitting alone at the table.

"What are you doing up so early?"

Startled, Leia looked up to see Luke with an inquisitive look on his face. "Couldn't sleep," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

Luke pursed his lips, a concerned expression on his face

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Leia said indignantly.

"I'm worried about you, Leia."

"Well you don't need to be, I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, it's just – "

"I'm fine, OK!" Leia snapped, startling her brother. Afraid to push the subject any further, Luke turned around to make himself some breakfast. Behind him, he heard Leia take a deep breath as he sensed her anger dissipate and fade into regret.

"Luke, I'm sorry. It's just…" she paused, knowing she had Luke's attention even if he wasn't looking at her. There was a long silence as Luke continued to rummage about the kitchen, making a concerted effort to act as if he was doing something important.

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about our mother, would you?"

Surprised, Luke turned around, dropping the façade. He gave her another inquisitive look before responding.

"I told you, I have no memory of her. Why do you ask?"

Leia looked away, her brow furrowed. "I've just been… thinking about her. Who she was. Why she…" Leia drifted off, not making eye contact.

"Why she married Darth Vader?"

Leia tensed up, her eyes darting to Luke's. "Yeah" she replied quietly.

"Well you'd know more so than I, you said you actually remembered her," Luke reminded her.

"I thought I did, but…" Leia closed her eyes, unsure of how much she wanted to disclose. "I'm not sure if I'm actually remembering her or if I…if I created her"

Shocked to see a tear roll down his sister's cheek, Luke rushed forward and kneeled in front of her, taking her hand.

"Hey, it's OK," he told her gently, realizing how fragile she was at this moment but also delighted that she was finally opening up to him. "I'm here for you, you know that? Talk to me."

Leia gave him a smile, wiping the unwanted tears out of her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she continued. "I sometimes feel like I must have created the memory of my mother, of our mother."

"Why is that?"

Leia sighed, feeling uncomfortable now that she had dropped her mental barriers that had protected her for so long. She had created a protective shell for herself as a young girl, creating the visage of a strong and determined woman. Never before had she let anyone see her vulnerabilities, her self-doubt. But then again, she had never had a family in the true sense. Of course, the Organa's had been loving parents, but there was always a degree of separation and even formality. Perhaps it was because they knew the truth, and perhaps they feared her for it…

"Leia?" Luke asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"Sorry, I just…" She looked down at her brother's sincere face, smiling at him. Never before had she felt so close to a person, even before she had known they were related. Suddenly she felt foolish for having closed herself off from Luke for the past month, if there was anyone she could talk to it was Luke.

"How could she?" she said finally. "How could the woman that I remember have ever married someone as vile as Vader?"

Luke grimaced, knowing that Leia had yet to come to grips with her parentage. "She didn't," Luke told her confidently. "She married Anakin Skywalker."

Leia gave an exasperated sigh, looking away. "They're one and the same, Luke."

Frowning, Luke stood up. "Perhaps. But if they are, then you ought to treat them as such."

Leia looked up at her brother, confused but also indignant. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You only ever knew Vader," he told her. "He was a horrible person, I'm not going to deny that." Leia shook her head, glad that Luke had admitted such.

"But there was also good in him. Anakin Skywalker was a good man, I have no doubt of that. It was Anakin who killed the emperor and saved my life. It must have been Anakin who our mother loved and married, not Vader."

Leia rolled her eyes, knowing that it was pointless to argue with her brother about this. He wasn't there when Vader tortured her on the Death Star. Nor was he there when Alderaan was destroyed. For Leia, it didn't matter that Vader had killed the emperor. What he had done was unforgiveable, and for that he could never be redeemed regardless of what Luke said.

Noticing that they were at an impasse once again, Luke returned to the kitchen, more than a little frustrated at his sister's stubbornness. Just then, Han walked in, yawning loudly. Noticing the tension in the room, he stopped.

"What are you two talking about?" Han asked finally.

Leia smiled, amused by Han's obvious discomfort.

"We were talking about our mother, actually," Luke told him, carrying his breakfast over to the table.

"Oh yeah?" Han said, glancing quickly at Leia as he knew that this was surely going to be a sensitive topic for her. "Well, she must've been a pretty remarkable woman if she made you two."

"I guess," Leia said glumly.

A few awkward moments passed. Han cleared his throat, desperate to break the deafening silence. "So uh…" he began, thinking it wise to change the subject. "What's the plan for today?"

Luke looked up at Han, blinking a few times as he reemerged from his ponderings. "Oh, right. Well it's up to Leia, really, but I was thinking we could do some saber training this morning."

Leia nodded, her mood brightening somewhat. "I think that's a great idea, Han maybe we could even show you a thing or two."

Han grinned, glad that he had broken the ice a bit. "I don't know about that, I'll stick with my blaster."

"Suit yourself," Leia told him. Turning to Luke, she asked "Maybe we can use real sabers today, I'm just about ready to put in my crystal."

Luke nodded slowly, his mind clearly elsewhere.

"Luke, did you hear me?"

"Yes, yes. Of course," he replied unconvincingly. "We should tread carefully though, I don't want you getting hurt."

Leia rolled her eyes, irked by Luke's trepidation. "I'm not going to hurt myself, Luke. I know what I'm doing, you know."

Luke gave her a doubtful look. "I just think it might be wise to wait until you're stronger with the Force, that's all."

Leia's face reddened in annoyance. She opened her mouth to retort, but seemingly thought better of it. Instead she stood up, pushing her chair in forcefully so that it slammed against the table. "If that's what you think," she said haughtily.

"Leia…"

Turning around, she marched out of the kitchen with a huff leaving a bewildered Luke and Han behind her. Groaning, Luke pushed his breakfast away and rubbed his forehead in frustration.

"What am I doing wrong, Han?" Luke asked after a brief silence. "I just don't understand her sometimes."

Han gave a humorless laugh. "Clearly you aren't familiar with women, are you kid?"

"And you are?" Luke retorted.

"More so than you, that's for sure."

Luke sighed, staring absentmindedly at his mechanical hand.

"Look, kid." Han began, suddenly feeling bad for acting so flippantly with the young Jedi. "Leia's a very capable and strong-willed person. I know you're worried for her, but you need to loosen the reigns a bit. She'll be fine."

"I know that, Han. But I also think she's hurting right now, more so than she lets on. I'm worried that she might do something impulsive…"

"Like this?" looking up, Luke saw his sister standing in the doorway, an activated blue lightsaber humming in her right hand. Mouth agape, Luke stared in disbelief.

"What… When did you… How—" Luke stuttered.

"Just now," Leia interrupted, deactivating the saber and reattaching it to her belt.

Looking over at Han, Luke noticed his friend was barely hiding his mirth at Luke's reaction to Leia's boldness. Giving his friend a sour look, Luke stood up, hands on his hips. "Well I guess we'll be using real sabers today."

Leia smiled, a glimmer in her eye. Victory felt sweet.