I Think I Like You

Chapter 9: Puzzle Pieces

By the time I had reached my house I was a completely soaked mess.

As soon as I opened the door to my home, Yang came walking in from the kitchen and froze upon seeing my appearance. She grew concerned and immediately asked me what happened, but I just shrugged her off.

I turned my head to the side and jumped up and down to get some rain out of my waterlogged ears. After squeezing some of the water out of my hair and taking off my soaked jacket, Yang gave up on fussing over me and told me to go take a shower.

Wordlessly, I had obeyed and walked up the stairs somewhat robotically.

I trudged myself over to the bathroom and after shutting the door shed my sopping uniform.

This brings me to where I am now. As soon as I step into the shower and feel the warm water trickling onto my skin I was reminded of my not-so-pleasant bike ride here, along with the events before it.

I'm immediately filled with shame and rankling regret.

No matter how hot I turn the faucet, each drop that touches my skin is barely felt. I run my hand through my hair over and over again in a calming motion as I let the heated water run down my back and chest.

As I step out of the shower, I wrap a white, fluffy towel around me and walk down the hall into my room.

I open the door and turn the lights on, but not all the way, so that my room is just lit enough for me to see what I'm doing. I walk over to my closet and pull on a pair of gym shorts and a red t-shirt.

I look up at my computer, but didn't feel myself move towards it, as I normally would. I wasn't in the mood to play any video games or to watch any television; instead, I walk over to my twin bed in the corner of my room and curl up on my side.

Ugh, what did I just do?

The scene kept replaying in my head, like it was on some haunting loop that's only goal is to taunt me until I go mad.

Weiss lying there with her mouth slightly open, bangs falling into her perfectly shaped eyes, hands cupped under her chin to slightly elevate her head, and hair sprawled out all around her. Her face… slowly becoming clearer, more detailed, as I moved my head closer to hers. The innocence, vulnerability, she showed in that moment... it had been too much.

Am I really so desperate that I would take advantage of her in her sleep?

I clutch my hands closer to my chest, shifting into a slightly tighter ball on my bed as I think about all the other times I've been with Weiss.

I remember a time a few weeks ago; Weiss and I had been stuck in the club room after school to finish signing some papers. She had looked so stressed, so deep in thought, and I had tapped her on the arm to get her attention. When she looked at me, I made a show of trying to balance a pencil on my nose. She told me to stop messing around, in the usual Weiss fashion, but when I tried to keep the pencil steady, and somehow ended up banging my head onto the desk, she thought it was pretty amusing.

God, she's cute when she laughs.

She's also cute when she blushes, which I noticed happens fairly frequently, like when I give her complements out of the blue or tell her how much of a hard worker and admirable person I think she is. And even even though I tease her about it, she really does have a hard time taking compliments and usually gets really bashful over them from time to time, even if she'd never admit it.

Yeah, Weiss was plenty cute… but sometimes she was just plain beautiful.

Like when I see her at school in the morning and that white, slightly damp, hair was in its freshly made side ponytail and her uniform was clear of any creases or wrinkles. I notice when she sits in class, she always crosses both her legs and has the most painfully straight posture I've ever seen. When she walks her head is always held high in a mature and confident manor, almost smug, but just enough to be intimidating.

She gets so many looks in the hallway, hell, she could have her pick of anyone at school if she wanted. She's never seemed too interested though, most of the time she takes to berating me about something or the other instead.

Of course, she can also be stubborn, and strict, and yell at me a lot, but when you look past that, she really only does it because she cares. She cares in her harsh, weird, Weiss way of caring, however constructive or cynical it can be, she still cares.

But… does she care about me in that way?

If I care about her in that way, then it would certainly explain why I get so flustered around her.

I feel like I turn into a stuttering, bumbling, mess half the time she's around. I can't help but think of what Weiss thinks of me. I practically beg for her attention and approval at times, often disrupting her work, however, through all that she somehow manages to keep her cool and leveled head.

So unfair…

But does that mean I want to, like, date Weiss?

I feel my face turn red and I bury my head into the neck-hole of my t-shirt.

I've never given much thought to my preferences, or dating in general, but I wasn't that dense. Of course I've had an idea since I was younger that I might be attracted to girls.

When I was about eight or so, I had a few female idols that I really admired and wanted to be like. They were mainly from shows I watched or just singers I liked. However, as I got a little older, I came to the realization that the thing I was feeling might not be admiration, but something more along the lines of a crush.

Of course, there were other things, like slightly longer lasting stares that necessary in locker rooms, realizing I kept watching only the third Indiana Jones movie because I thought the lead actress was hot, or when I realized by the time I reached high school that it was weird I'd never had a legit crush on anyone.

I sigh and slip my face back out of my shirt collar. I bring my hands up to my face and rub them in circles on my temple.

I understand Weiss has a lot of personal issues. She gets panic attacks, which is sadly something I'll never fully understand, even though I've been trying to find ways to help her.

She comes from a broken family, but in a way, so do I. And although both her parents are alive, sometimes I wonder if it's harder having a parent and knowing they don't give two shits about what you're up to, or not having one at all.

She has insecurities, everyone does, but Weiss seems to have hit the motherlode in that department.

It's because of all these things I know, but have yet to understand about Weiss, that makes me want to protect her.

And I know fully well that Weiss doesn't need or want to be protected.

But I just can't help getting so, so… possessive of her sometimes. It honestly scares me.

I remember how I'd felt a while back when I hid in the bathroom and saw Neptune trying to get Weiss to hang out with him. It was the same feeling I had when Jaune had said he liked Weiss, the same feeling I get when I see some of the other council members chatting with Weiss.

I never thought I'd be such a jealous person.

There are times when I want to go up to Weiss and talk to her about nothing in particular like the weather, or homework. There are also times when I wish I could hug Weiss again, like I did the first time I visited her house, with my arms wrapped around her torso and my face buried in her chest.

I often think back to the bike ride we had together to the reservoir and how she had taught me to skip stones. I remember how the sun had cast a golden shadow around her figure, perfectly outlining the scar running down her eye and the dip towards her nose leading to her lips.

I thought about what it would be like to kiss her.

Finally being able to entangle my hands into that soft, blindingly white, hair and slowly bringing our faces closer as we melted together. I would bring my hands out of her hair to wrap them around her waist instead, clinging onto it like it was a raft keeping me afloat and safe from harm. I would bring them down low-

"Ruby?"

I'm jolted out of my thoughts by my dad calling for dinner outside of my, thankfully, closed door.

"Ruby are you alright? Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

I sit halfway up on my bed and crane my neck towards the door.

"I-I'm fine. I'll be right down!"

I hear him make a 'hmph' sound and stay still until I can no longer hear his receding footsteps. I grab a pillow at the front of my bed and hug it close to my chest, nuzzling my red face into it as another image of Weiss passes through my mind.

She doesn't even know what happened. She's going to come to school tomorrow completely unaware of what I had almost done to her. What I put myself through tonight. It's so, so unfair.

I hug the pillow tighter to my chest.

I avoid Weiss on Tuesday.

I just couldn't trust myself to act normal around her.

It started this morning when I realized I had left my bag at Weiss's house. Of course, Weiss had realized this too, seeing as how she's standing at the front entrance with said object in hand.

Knowing that I would have to confront her at least once today is enough for me to start feeling queasy.

As I ride my bike through the entrance, hunching over a bit in the hopes Weiss might not see me, I'm called out to.

"Ruby!"

I look over a crowd of students walking in, and see Weiss waving an arm at me. She holds out my backpack and pushes herself off of the wall she'd been leaning against, making her way toward me.

Knowing the inevitable was to happen, I slowly turn my bike closer to the front steps of the school. I stop at the bottom of the short incline where there weren't many students as Weiss starts to descend the stairs.

I look up, and our eyes meet for a split second. I turn away immediately, feeling my face grow hot at the sight of those sharp, deep blue orbs.

I can tell Weiss must've been making a face at me as she reaches the bike, but I keep my eyes trained on my handle bars.

"You left your bag at my house you dunce." She holds the item out at me.

I give a weak laugh as I grab the backpack, keeping my gaze down as I do so.

"Heh, my bad…"

"Sorry about falling asleep like that yesterday." Weiss flips some bangs out of her eyes and lets out am annoyed huff of air. "I'm still a bit sick but I just didn't want to miss any more school, so I came in."

I nod my head.

We stand there for a moment, an uncomfortably long silence stretched between us.

"…Ruby, are you alright?"

I gulp and throw my head back up into its normal position, holding my gaze forward.

"Of course I am! What're you even talking about?"

I give a little too hard of a laugh, and watch as Weiss raises an eyebrow at me.

"Well, first off, you're so pale you look like you've seen a ghost, " Weiss puts a hand on her hip and rears her head back a little. "Second off, you're not even looking at me, which is incredibly rude by the way."

I scuff my shoe on the ground, the one that's not holding me and my bike up.

"I'm fine… just a little tired."

Weiss gives me a confused look and opens her mouth, like she's about to say something else, but I cut her off.

"Well, I gotta get to class. See you later!"

I push off the ground and towards the bike rack, leaving a stunned Weiss in my wake.

Weiss is in about half of my classes so it was more difficult than I thought it would be to avoid her.

Normally, I went up to Weiss before each class started and had some sort of conversation with her. At first Weiss didn't seem too keen on getting to know me better, but now that we're pretty good friends I don't think she minds it as much.

During English, the first class we have together, I walked in before Weiss and took my normal seat towards the back. I didn't make an attempt to move when she came in and sat in her usual seat towards the front. I saw her look back at one point but swiftly moved my gaze down to the notebook on my desk. I spent the rest of the class zoning out and staring at the back of her head.

When History rolled around I got a bit more nervous. We sit diagonally from each other in this class and Weiss normally gets there first. I walked in and was relieved to see that Penny was already in her spot beside me, but on the opposite side of Weiss. I talked to her until class started, not giving Weiss the opportunity to join the conversation.

Science was my last period of the day. Weiss sat a few rows over from me and I came in before her, so I wasn't very worried about having to face her. When Weiss did show up I pull my binder out of my bag and pluck through old worksheets to make myself look busy.

However, instead of walking to her own seat, I hear the familiar clicking of heels strolling up beside my desk.

I look over, so she knows I acknowledge her presence, but I don't look up to meet her eyes.

"Ruby, I w-"

I cut off her sentence by loudly ripping out a piece of paper from my binder.

"Sorry, Weiss. I really gotta finish this… can't talk right now."

I start scribbling some random formulas on the paper, to make it look like I was actually doing something.

Weiss's mouth hung open slightly and she blinks a few times. I notice her posture falter for a split second, right before she flits her gaze to the side, muttering a quiet apology and walking away.

Ugh, this is so frustrating!

I angrily shove a hand into my hair as my pencil continues making pointless marks on the paper.

I'm a horrible person, an absolute hypocrite.

Here I am, thinking about how much I want to talk to Weiss, to be around her, to touch her… when in reality, I'm just evading her and making her think that she's somehow the one at fault.

The entire class period this is all I can think about and it makes me want to scream.

I feel guilty for not talking to her, however, I would feel even guiltier talking to her and acting like I didn't almost attack her in her sleep.

I take a break from taking notes to run my hands down my face. I let out a silent breath and take a risk looking over at Weiss.

In all honesty, she seems about as zoned out as I am.

Her pencil moves with the teacher's words but she seemed to be subconsciously absent. It's that same empty gaze that I've seen so many, too many, times. That's the look I hate most on Weiss; not her being mad, or bored, or even annoyed, just… devoid of all emotions completely.

As soon as the bell rings I throw my backpack over my shoulder and made a beeline for the door.

I can feel my emotions going haywire as I internally struggle with all these different things I keep feeling.

My mind feels like an incomplete puzzle; one that you just started, knew where some pieces went, and have even managed to put some pieces together, but after you've fit together the first few fragments, what then?

There are so many options that I could take from here, some that are more risky than others, some that might take a long time to figure out, some that might seem rushed, but might pay off in the end.

As soon as I round the last corner I have to bypass, in order to leave the school out of the side entrance, I feel my stomach drop.

Weiss stands in front of the door, arms across her chest, looking more pissed then I've seen her in a long time.

Instantly, we make eye contact.

We stare at each other for a few seconds, both of us unmoving. Weiss squints her eyes at me and a nervous smile etches its way onto my face.

I slowly disengage the eye contact and turn on my heel, starting to walk in the opposite direction.

"Ruby Rose, you will get over here this instant!"

Uh-oh…

I flinch as I hear her call my name and meakly swerve my direction back towards that intimidating glare.

Her eyes widen in expectancy as she motions with her finger for me to, essentially, get my ass over there.

At a deliberately slowed pace, I slink over to the exit door Weiss is standing in front of, and stop about five feet away from her. She doesn't say anything, just raises an eyebrow at me.

"What!?" I ask in a shrill voice.

"You know what."

I throw my hands up in the air, feigning ignorance.

"Don't play dumb with me, Ruby," Weiss says, taking a step forward. "You've obviously been avoiding me all day!"

"I-I have not! I've just been busy."

I'm pretty sure my voice crack gives away my nervousness, but Weiss just rolls her eyes and ignores it.

"No, you've been weird all day."

"I have not!" I counter, taking a step forward.

"Then how about you look me in the eye and say that, dammit!"

I move my head from side to side, continuing to avoid looking at her as I think of something to say.

I watch as her anger transitions into confusion, and from confusion to uncertainty. And then, in a very non-Weiss fashion, her posture shrinks, almost like a scared animal, and she looks to the floor.

"I'm sorry, but if somethings the matter… then please tell me, Ruby."

She was practically begging me.

The Weiss Schnee was begging me to tell her what's wrong.

"It's not…really…" I make a pathetic gesture with my hand as I trail off.

Weiss makes the most pained- hurt expression, and to be completely honest she looks so lost and confused that she might cry.

I can't take it anymore; I need to leave before I lose my self-control.

"I'm sorry, Weiss…"

I briskly walk past her, lightly brushing her shoulder in the most agonizing goodbye we've ever shared.

And as I leave the building I can't help but hear the quiet, doleful voice behind me.

"...Did I do something wrong?"

When I get home, I know it's time to settle this once and for all.

I walk up into my room, throwing my backpack onto my bed, and tossing my uniform jacket off, leaving me in my collared shirt. I turn on my computer and my monitor and plop myself down into my chair.

Save me internet!

Once my computer boots up, I open chrome and stare at the search bar for a few seconds. I know what I want to type in, but for some reason it feels kind of weird.

I double check to make sure the door to my room is closed and let my hovering hands start moving over the keys.

How do I know if I like someone?

Ugh, it sounds so cheesy when I type it out. At this point though, I couldn't care less. I need help before I made my situation any worse.

I click enter and one of the first websites that popped up on my screen was a quiz.

Do You Like Them? (!Click here to find out!)

I gulp and debate on just abandoning this whole idea of searching the internet. Even someone completely clueless and without any common sense should realize this was probably some scam anyways.

I end up clicking on it.

The first question comes up immediately.

Do you think about them?

I tilt my head to the side and scrunch up my face. I think about Weiss quite a lot, actually. I don't really get what that proves though. I click the 'yes' button.

Do you catch yourself staring at them?

I don't think I stare at Weiss that much… unless I'm, like, talking to her or something, but does that even count? Rather than staring, I feel like I observe - no - appreciate her appearance? She's really pretty after all.

I bite the nail on my forefinger and click the 'sometimes' option.

Do you think they're cute/hot?

Godammit…

I click yes.

Do you dream about them, day dream too?

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I can see where this is heading already. I click 'yes'.

Do you think that he/she likes you?

I doubt it.

Of course I know Weiss likes me as a friend, she's said so herself. I don't think she's really thought much about the possibility of going out with someone, let alone a girl. That much became obvious to me with her blatant distaste when boys try flirting with her at school. She normally just brushes them off.

The more I think about it, the more I feel a pout starting to form on my face. So, grumbling to myself, I click the 'No' option and continue on to the last question.

Do you want to date them?

What the hell kind of a question is that? I'm taking the quiz to find that out, right?

I pull my legs up into my chair and rest my head on my knees.

I know what dating generally entrails, but I didn't have any first-hand experience. That being said, the thought of me and Weiss doing some of those things sends a jolt of electricity through me.

I feel my hand hover above the 'yes' button… but for some reason it makee me feel really guilty. I opt for the 'maybe' button instead.

And then the results pop up.

You got: You really like them, you're just too shy to admit it! Stop denying your feelings and make them known!

I stare at the screen, a disgruntled expression on my face.

I pull my hands away from my keyboard and wrap my arms around my legs, knees still tucked into my chest, and my head still resting on top of them.

Instead of feeling the shame I'd been feeling for the past day, or the regret of doing what I did to Weiss, or thinking about everything I've done and have been doing wrong to her, and instead of hurling myself across the room to curl up on the bed and forget about this whole mess... for the first time, I smile.

You like her~

A little sing-song voice in my head chimes in and I feel butterflies in my stomach fluttering to the surface. It feels like I'm walking on air and all the clouds that had muddled the path had finally parted ways for me.

And those puzzle pieces all fit into perfect place.