I Think I Like You
Chapter 10: Bonfire
I sit at the small island in my kitchen, doing some very overdue homework.
This whole week has been pretty rough. Weiss and I have barely been talking. We still see each other waking around the halls and in class but it's just... awkward.
Each time Weiss looks at me - I feel both butterflies trying to crawl out of my stomach and a tremendous guilt that weighs me back down to the floor. It's this feeling of wanting nothing more than to be close to her, but at the same time wanting to be in the other side of the planet.
What makes it even more incredibly awkward is the fact that I think other people are starting to notice the odd atmosphere between us.
Earlier this week, Penny asked me if something had happened between us - and of course I wasn't gonna tell her I had some revelation about my feelings for Weiss, which gave me no choice but to lie. I've been doing a lot of that lately. Lying, that is.
By far the worst part of all this is that I know I'm hurting Weiss; it's written all over her face.
Each time we've crossed paths this week I can see the small slump in her shoulders, the pause in her uncertain steps, and those piercing blue eyes that seem to look through me, like they're asking what they did wrong.
And I still can't bring myself to talk to her.
I even went as far as to skip the Wednesday meeting earlier on in the week. Weiss didn't contact me about it.
I feel like a complete asshole.
Taking my unmoving pencil that was resting on my unfinished assignment, I lean over to set it down on the table. I let out a sigh and fall back on the bar stool I'm sitting on to take a much needed break, running a hand up my face and through my messy hair.
Even with all this guilt weighing me down, with all these horrible things I've been thinking, like how Weiss might view me if I told her what happened or that she might never forgive me for the way I've been acting, I also feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest.
Figuring out what exactly Weiss was to me, what I want her to be to me, has made me feel a lot more… clear headed?
Since I first met her, I'm pretty sure I've been mistaking my crush for admiration. Not that I don't admire her as well; I think that was just my own quirky way of blocking out the thought from my head.
However, even with that weight being lifted there's a brand new one that it's been replaced by: the pain of not being able to bring myself to talk to her. Just to talk to her.
It's been driving me nuts because I wanted to so bad, but I'm worried that if I did start a conversation and apologize, that these knew-found feelings I'm harboring would come tumbling out, like an avalanche plunging down a mountain with no way to stop it.
I run my hands down my face and drop my forehead onto the table.
Oh god, what would Weiss think of me?
I hear the front door slam shut and the clanging of keys. Not bothering to move my head from the table, I hear someone enter the kitchen.
"Wow sis, homework that bad?"
I turn my head that was still lying on the table towards the kitchen archway Yang is currently walking through. I give her a groan in response, making her laugh.
Yang walks over to the counter and sets her keys down. "It's Friday, Rubes. Would've thought you'd be playing video games or something."
I shrug and bring my head off the table to rest it on top of my arms. Yang was one of the people who's noticed how I've been acting. She hasn't asked me anything, but I know she must be curious. I just don't have the energy to go into detail.
Yang walks over to the fridge and takes out a water bottle, unscrewing the lid and downing it in a few seconds. She then looks at the fridge and plucks one of the various sticky notes off the front.
"Damn, dad says it's my turn to do dishes."
She sets her water bottle down and walks over to our dishwasher next to the sink, opening it and sliding the first rack of dishes out. I use one of my fingers to nudge the pencil lying on the counter around in circles.
"Hey, Yang…"
Yang sets a few plates down on the counter and gives me a quick look out of the corner of her eye. "Yeah?"
I bite my lip nervously and stare at my pencil. "What do you do when you're having a fight with someone and you know you're the one that caused it?"
Yang pauses and looks thoughtful for a moment.
"I'd apologize."
"But… what if it's not that simple?"
Yang starts putting the plates in a cabinet and raises an eyebrow at me to elaborate.
"Like - what if you were intentionally ignoring them because you knew something they didn't that could potentially ruin your friendship."
"Well," Yang says, bending down to get some silverware out of the bottom of the dishwasher. "If it was something that important… even if it could ruin my friendship I would still let them know, since it was something I caused."
"But what if you know they'll probably be mad?" I ask, still fiddling with my pencil.
Yang stops putting away the silverware and faced me, putting her hands on her hips. "Ruby, what's this about?"
My eyes grow wide and I guiltily avert my gaze to the counter, not saying anything.
"Is this about why you and Weiss have been acting so weird around each other?"
I feel my mouth drop open slightly and I look back up. "Wha- how'd you know about that!?"
"Honestly, I think most people have noticed at this point. You normally stick to her like a lost puppy, but lately you just haven't been around her at all. You even missed a meeting last week. Weiss was pretty pissed, even went as far to call you petty."
Yang finishes putting the silverware up and moves on to all the cups in the top of the dishwasher.
"What'd you do to make her so pissed anyways?" She asks.
I feel my face turn red. I haven't told a single person about what happened that day at Weiss's - and I really don't want to tell Yang.
I halfheartedly shrug and pick up the pencil I've been nudging around to twirl it between my fingers.
Yang just gives me a skeptical look and starts putting cups in the cupboards. "Well, maybe Nora's party tomorrow will cheer you up."
"Huh?" I question dumbly.
I had completely forgotten about Nora's party. I guess my mind has been preoccupied elsewhere.
"Don't tell me you're not going?" Yang scoffs at me.
I had only thought about going in the first place because I wanted to go with Weiss. Unfortunately, that didn't seem very likely to happen now that we're ignoring each other's existence. Parties aren't really my scene anyways. They were just loud, crowded, and full of people I don't know.
I give Yang my best excuse.
"I don't really have anyone to go with…"
"What about Penny?" Yang asks, setting some more cups onto a shelf.
"Penny's at a math competition this weekend."
Yang nods her head thoughtfully and lets out a humming sound as she continues to think.
"What about you? Who are you going with?" I ask.
"Me?" Yang flips some hair over her shoulder and lets out a short laugh. "I'm not going with anyone, but I am meeting Blake and some other council members there."
I kick the bottom of the counter I'm sitting at with my sneakers. I've gotten a bit taller over the past few months but, sadly, my feet still don't reach the floor.
I bite my lip and tilt my head to the side. I don't really want to go to the party if I wasn't going with Weiss.
"Hmm, maybe I'll just stay home and play some games or something…" I trail off.
Yang finishes putting the dishes away and closes the dishwasher with a loud slam that makes me jump a little. She grabs the water bottle she set down earlier and hops up on the counter across from me. Taking a sip, she looks over at me guiltily.
"C'mon, don't be like this, Ruby. Why don't you come with me? Bumblebee does have two seats."
"It's kinda lame going to a party with your sister isn't it?" I sulk.
"Psh, not when your sister is as cool as me." Yang flips some more of her hair back, making me giggle. "Besides, I heard Nora talking to Weiss at the meeting Wednesday. It sounded like Weiss was thinking about coming."
My train of thought momentarily stops. I feel my eyes widen and I look up at Yang in earnest.
"Really?"
"Yeah, Really! You could come in with me, actually socialize for a bit, maybe even have some fun, then find Weiss and kiss and make up. Easy as that."
I feel my face burn red. I know Yang is joking, she doesn't actually know, but it's still embarrassing to think about.
"Sh-shut up…"
Yang just laughs and jumps back off the counter. She walks over to me and ruffles my hair, giving me knowing look.
"You can't avoid her forever, Ruby. You should at least try making things better before they get any worse."
I let out a long sigh and bang my head back onto the table as Yang exits the kitchen.
You think I don't know that already?
Yang and I pull up to the front of Nora's house on Bumblebee.
It's about eight at night - so it isn't really hard spotting the one house in the neighborhood that was lit up like a Christmas tree.
The street surrounding the home is full of cars and there were people littered on the front lawn. Most of the people consisted of a group of about ten boys that were throwing around a football and talking to each other. There were a few other groups here and there just standing and chatting, but I could already tell there would be a lot more people inside.
From the driveway, even over the sound of Yang's motorcycle engine, I can hear music blaring from inside the house.
I gulp as I hop off the seat and nervously looked towards the backyard, where I can't really see anything, but can definitely make out a light orange glow coming from behind the fence, which is presumably the bonfire.
The kids on the front lawn all cheer and fist bumped each other as one guy gets tackled. I notice they look to be a lot older than high school students.
As Yang takes her helmet off I tug on the elbow of her sleeve.
"Is this really a high school party?" I ask nervously.
Yang looks towards the house and then at the people on the lawn.
"I don't know about high school party, but it's definitely my kind of party." Yang purrs and lifts her eyebrows.
I groan and she just laughs, motioning for me to lean towards her so she can take my helmet off. She always makes sure I wear one.
She unclips it and sets it on the bike handle opposite of the one her helmet is resting on. She then motions for me to follow her inside and after I take a few step forward she turns around and stops me with her hand.
"What?"
"Hold on, sis."
She grabs the cuffs of my red hoodie and folds them over so that my hands are actually peeking out from the sleeves. She then sticks a hand in my hair and musses it a bit, disregarding my sounds of protest.
She had told me earlier to dress casual so I just threw on the oversized hoodie, a pair of jeans, and my sneakers before I left our house.
"Yaaang." I complain, as she tucks a few loose strands of hair behind my ears.
I hate when she babies me, especially in front of other people.
"Sorry, just trying to help!"
We make our way towards the door and as we walk inside the house I get a feel for how crowded it actually is.
The music is really loud and it makes me flinch a little as I enter the main room. There are people all over the place, some on the couch, some in big groups, and some sitting at a big table playing some card game with poker chips.
However, through the crowds of people I'm able to make out a speck of Orange hair coming towards us.
As soon as Yang spots Nora, who's dragging Ren behind her, she gives us a nod.
"Heeey! Glad you guys could make it!" Nora says over the music.
She has a can of some off-brand soda in her hand and I notice she's wobbling a bit. She also had her arm hooked around Ren's shoulder and is leaning on him rather forcefully. Ren doesn't seem to mind, he just looks annoyed.
"Sup, Nora. Have you seen Blake or Pyrrha?" Yang asks.
"Yep! Saw 'em out back by the fire a couple minutes ago."
"Sweet, talk to you guys later."
Yang saunters off down the hallway, leaving me with Ren and, from the looks of it, a slightly tipsy Nora. Ren leans over to a speaker near a flat screen on the wall and turns the knob down. When he does - I realize I can actually hear myself thinking again.
"I didn't think there would be so many people here." I say, fidgeting with one of my hoodie strings.
Nora giggles and Ren's face turns into a grimace.
"Yeah, neither did I." He says.
Nora waves him off, consequently tripping over one of her feet before steadying herself again.
"You can't just expect people not to bring other people to parties, Ren… speaking of which, I thought you and Weiss were coming together, Ruby?"
I frown and look to the side. Out of all the people that have noticed the weird behavior between us this week, Nora was probably the most oblivious.
I'm about to say something when Ren decides to pitch in.
"I believe I saw Weiss earlier."
"Really!?" I ask, my eyes bulging.
"Yeah, I think she was in the hallway talking with Neptune."
I feel my shoulders slump.
"…Really?"
Weiss actually came?
The anticipation, immediately replaced with disappointment really gets to me.
…And she's with Neptune?
Nora goes into a hiccuping fit and starts to lean into Ren a little too much. He turns his face away, obviously appalled by her behavior. I've never really asked about the nature of their relationship, but I had assumed they were dating early on because of how much I saw them together and how close they seemed to be.
Although, looking at them now, I feel like they might be stuck somewhere around not dating but maybe a little more than friends. The thought makes an unexpected wave of envy wash over me, knowing that Weiss would probably never feel that way about me.
"Anything wrong Ruby? You're looking kinda pale." Nora says.
"Maybe you should get a drink?" Ren suggests, pointing to the kitchen.
Nora lazily nods in agreement.
"Yep, yep, drinks in the kitchen. Ren and I were about to head out to the fire if you wanna-"
Someone starts yelling in another room, cutting her off.
"YO NORA, Another round of beer-pong is starting up soon! You gotta get in on this!"
Nora fist pumps the air and gets a wicked smile on her face.
"Oh I'm not missing this."
She pushes herself off of Ren, making him grunt, and saunters out of the room. I watch her round the corner into the dimly lit hallway and turn back around to raise an eyebrow at Ren, who lets out an exasperated sigh.
"We really didn't expect this many people, I think Nora's just trying out her hand on the 'wild side'." He makes air quotes.
I give a short laugh.
"Just trying out?"
"You know what I mean," Ren rubs the back of his neck. "Anyways, I should probably go after her before she gets into too much trouble."
I wave to him as he leaves. I realize I'm all alone now, standing off awkwardly in the corner. I look around for any familiar faces but I don't see anyone. I cringe at myself for being so socially inept and tug on the strings of my hoodie.
I stumble my way past a few people and head toward the kitchen Nora had pointed to.
The kitchen is pretty spacious. There are a few people around a circular dining table that had a large punch bowl in the center and some of those red solo cups sitting by it. I noticed a few people drinking out of those earlier as well.
On the kitchen counter there were a ton of soda bottles. Some were half empty, some were new, some didn't even have a lid, and some looked like they had been mixed with something and had odd colors swirling around in them.
I walk over and pick up a red cup off the counter and looked around at my options.
Someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn around to see a meager Jaune waving at me.
"Don't drink the punch." He says over the party chatter.
I scrunch up my nose and give him a knowing look.
"Trust me, I wasn't planning on it."
I reach over and grab an unopened bottle of Sprite and untwist the lid. Jaune moves beside me to lean against the counter, taking a long sip from his cup before setting it down on the countertop next to mine.
"Me too, please."
I fill his cup up too.
We both pick the cups up and hit them together before taking a sip. As I watch Jaune set the drink back down I notice he looks a bit down in the dumps.
"Is something wrong, buddy?" I ask, elbowing him in the side.
Jaune and I aren't exactly friends, but we talk to each other quite a lot during meetings and the classes we have together. When we're not talking about Weiss, or how he wants me to help him advance on her, we have pretty pleasant conversations.
"I thought Weiss would be coming with you… but I saw her with Neptune earlier."
So she really was talking to him?
I feel the familiar vexation bubble up in me, mixed with my intolerance towards Neptune. I decide I should try inconspicuously asking what they had been chatting about, in a way that didn't make me sound as anxious as I'm feeling.
"Do you, uhm, remember what they were talking about by chance?"
He shrugs.
"Not sure. It just looked like they were talking."
"Did you come with anyone?" I ask, intentionally changing the subject.
"Pyrrha asked me to go, but I think it was just out of pity." He pouts.
I nod my head knowingly. I'm pretty sure it wasn't out of pity, but it's not really my place to mention that.
I look out a huge window at the end of the kitchen, the one that outlines the bonfire.
It's pretty packed in the backyard as well. There are a few picnic tables set out, and the fire, being the main attraction, has tons of chairs placed around it along with many groups of people. I spot Yang, Blake, and Pyrrha all sitting in some of the inner chairs, all laughing and seeming to be having a good time.
I also think there must be a different speaker system outside too because I can hear two different mixes of various pop songs playing.
Over the music, however, I hear someone yell loudly from the room next door, followed with what I believe to be Ren's voice.
"Nora, I think you've had enough…"
Jaune and I look at each other questioningly before setting our drinks down and making our way through a few crowds of people and into an archway that led into the room over.
It looks like a small game room, with a fold out table set up in the middle and some bookshelves surrounding it. There were also some people on the sidelines watching and commenting amongst themselves on what seems to be happening.
A stumbling Nora and Ren are on one side, while I see Cardin and one of his buddies on the other side. I sneer at him, but reason with myself that he's not worth my time and walk over to my friends instead.
Nora's eyes are only halfway open and she's leaning on Ren again with her arm wrapped around his shoulder. I grab her other arm to help steady her and I feel Jaune walking up beside me.
"Is she okay?" He asks, most likely already knowing the answer.
Ren rolls his eyes incredulously.
"What does it look like?"
"Do you need us to do anything?" I chime in nervously, noticing the crowd around us growing.
Ren looks back and forth between the table, Nora, and another hallway leading out of the room. He shifts so that Nora's positioned behind him and swiftly leans down, catching the back of her legs and pulling her into a piggy-back.
"You guys take over?" He pleads, nodding to the table.
I look over at the table, ignoring Cardin smirking at me from the other end. On our side, there are three cups lined up at the end, and on the other side there are four cups in the shape of a square.
I assume from the set up that they were playing a game of beer-pong, which I really don't know how to play. I've seen it in college movies before, so I feel like I might have some general idea for what's going on, but that doesn't mean I'll be any good at it.
I look up at Jaune hesitantly; he has the same conflicted look on his face. I hear a snicker from the other side of the table.
"Well, well, well, would ya look at what the cat dragged in?"
I scrunch my face up to resist giving him a dirty look, and turn my attention back to my friends.
"Ah c'mon Red, I was just messin' with ya. The games almost over, why don't you join in so we can just finish this already."
I look between Cardin and a pleading Ren, also noticing the still growing amount of onlookers. Letting out a sigh, I place a hand on Ren's shoulder.
"Get her out of here. Jaune and I got this." I look over at the scraggly boy beside me. "Right, Jaune?"
He gulps and laughs nervously.
"Heh, yep totally…"
Ren gives us his thanks and walks off with Nora, now appearing to be asleep, on his back. Jaune and I take our positions at the front of the table across from Cardin.
I expect him to trash-talk me or make fun of me to an extent, but instead he gets a curious look on his face and glances around the room.
"Hey, Red… where's that White haired bitch you're normally following around?" He looks over at me and smirks. "Thought you woulda dragged her along with you."
I swear to god, if one more person mentions Weiss I'm going to lose it.
I feel the tips of my ears burn, out of embarrassment or anger, I'm not sure. However, something I am sure about is that I don't want to lose, especially now, in front of all these people.
I grind my teeth together, trying not to make a scene.
"Are we gonna play or what?" I spit out, grabbing a ping-pong ball from one of the cups stacked on the side of the table.
I feel Jaune lean over next to me.
"Uh, Ruby, hate to tell you this - but I don't really know how to-"
"It's easy," Cardin cuts in from across the table, making us both jump. "You just throw the balls and aim 'em at the cups. If you miss you get nothing, if one of you makes it then one of us drinks, if both of you make it then both of us drink and you get to throw again. Winner is the first team to get the opposing side down to zero cups."
Okay, that doesn't sound too hard…
"I'll let you two pricks throw first, 'cause damn is this gonna be a sad game."
Cardin's buddies all laugh and a few other people standing around the table laugh too. I start wondering how I got into the situation and how I want nothing more than to crawl under a rock right now.
Regardless of this, I force myself to stand straight as Jaune and I make our first throws. Unsurprisingly - we miss.
I overshoot mine and Jaune's bounces off the side of the table.
Cardin snorts at our pathetic attempt as his partner plucks two balls out of one of their cups on their side of the table, he hands one to Cardin. They both move to line up their shots and take turns throwing. Cardin makes his in, his friend misses.
Some of Cardin's friends that were standing behind him give the team a slap on their backs and start pushing each other around.
"Hope you can hold your liquor better than the hostess could, Red."
I grimace, peering over to look at the minimal amount of liquid in the cup. However, before I could grab it, Jaune sweeps the drink into his hand and downs it.
I blink in surprise, but Jaune just slams the cup back onto the table giving me a more confident look than earlier. Hearing Cardin sigh, I mouth my thanks at Jaune and we both grab another Ping-Pong ball.
I feel a little better throwing this time around, knowing that last time the throw was to forceful. I arched my arm less and take the shot.
I make it in. Jaune misses.
A few of the people standing around us whoop and someone from the onlookers jabbed my shoulder in a congratulatory fashion. Cardin just grumbles to himself a shoves the drink into his teammates hand.
The next two turns go by fast, seeing as both our teams miss each throw. Jaune and I are left with two cups while the other side has three.
When it's Cardin's turn again, he makes his shot and, again, his friend misses.
This time, I take the small amount of liquor and down it. It's bitter and almost makes me stick my tongue out in disgust, but I just ignore the taste and the slight buzz in the back of my head.
We only have one cup left and Cardin still has three. Before we take our shots, I lean over to Jaune and whisper in his ear.
"Close one of your eyes and aim for the cup on the left like you're trying to hit Cardin's stomach."
He gives a shaky nod and we both line up our throws. I close one eye and tilt my head slightly to the opposite direction I'm throwing in, I see Jaune do the same.
We both make it.
The crowd around us cheers and we get a few slaps on the backs from random people. I'm normally pretty skittish around contact from strangers, but in the moment, I found it boosting my confidence even more - enough to give Cardin a cocky grin.
Since we got both balls in we both get another turn.
And there's only one cup left!
I continue smirking at Cardin across the table, who has an unreadable look on his face. I then turn to look at Jaune, who's already looking over and smiling down at me, handing me a new ball.
"After you."
Turns out there was no 'after me'.
I make it in.
Everyone around us went ballistic. The sound of cheering was almost deafening - as it sounded like twenty people were screaming at once. I'm being thrown around and jostled by people I don't know and, right before I'm swallowed up into the celebrating mass of bodies, I see Cardin role his eyes and flip me the bird.
After all the fun and games, I'm left sitting outside by the bonfire. It's somewhere in the fifties tonight - so the comfy distance between me and the giant heat source, along with my cozy hoodie, is keeping me toasty.
I sit between Yang and Pyrrha, who have Blake and Velvet sitting on their sides respectively. We're all nestled in those foldable chairs you'd normally bring to a football game or something. I sit sideways in mine so that my legs dangle off of one of the arm rests and my back leans against the other.
Most of the party has died down by now. Everyone that's left - which is still a good handful of people - are outside hanging out by the fire.
Regardless of the chill atmosphere, my heartbeat still races a hundred miles a minute from the excitement of what happened earlier. I feel unexplainably excited for the first time in… well, ever. It feels like I'm some sort of superstar.
For the rest of the party people kept walking up to me, giving me high-fives, or just calling out to me. Most of them used the nickname Cardin referred to me as, Red. It could be worse - but I wouldn't say I hate the attention.
"Seriously, it was the coolest thing ever!" I prod.
"Sure Sounds like it." Blake mumbles.
Yang chuckles in agreement.
"We could hear the yelling from out here. I don't think Blakey liked it."
Velvet leans over from where she's sitting, holding her hands out towards the fire to warm them.
"Now you're going to be known as the vice president and the girl who beat Cardin Winchester at his own game. That's quite the feat." She says.
I smile triumphantly.
"Yeah, that Cardin is such a useless prick." Yang crosses her legs together with a huff of annoyance and leans forward in her chair.
"I wouldn't put it that way..." Pyrrha pitches in from her chair. "But it is utterly atrocious to pick on kids weaker than you, which seems to be all he's capable of doing."
I still haven't told anyone about my run in with Cardin a week or so ago. It really doesn't seem that important and I don't want to anger anyone. So I'll just keep it to myself for now.
"Hey, Yang. Did we ever discuss what we're gonna be doing next in the council?" I ask, absentmindedly twirling one of my hoodie strings around my finger.
"I think Wei- I mean, I think we discussed running a football game or something…"
Blake chimed in to correct her. "Weiss said it's a basketball game next week."
Yang leans over and smacks Blake on the shoulder with the back of her hand, gaping at her.
"Ow?" Blake looks at her arm in confusion.
I squint my eyes at them suspiciously as Yang gives me a nervous smile.
"What?" I ask, knowing something seems amiss.
"Nothing!" Yang quickly says in the most unconvincing manor I've ever heard come out of her.
"No, What!?" I push indignantly.
Blake leans over and sets her chin in her hands, rolling her eyes.
"She told me not to mention Weiss around you, since you two have been fighting."
"Blake!" Yang complains.
"That's for hitting me." Blake shoots back at her.
I don't really say anything, continuing to twirl my hoodie string and stare into the fire. I should've known people would think the behavior was weird. Almost everyone at the party has said something about me and Weiss.
So that many people have realized it, huh?
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Pyrrha glancing off somewhere in the distance, Velvet averts her gaze elsewhere.
"You know…" Pyrrha starts. "I think I saw Weiss earlier-"
"-Yeah, with Neptune." I cut her off.
The way I say 'Neptune' makes me sound like a brooding child and I immediately cringe at myself. I just can't stop myself from disliking the guy, even though we've never even had one conversation with each other.
"No, I was actually going to say I saw her sitting on the steps of the back porch not too long ago."
"Huh?" I feel my eyes go wide as I look over to the house.
The house is fairly near us but it's still a good ways away. I can see through the windows and the lights illuminating the inside, but since there are no lights on the porch, it looks pitch black. The only exception being the smallest flicker of a light that comes and goes so fast I'm pretty sure I imagined it.
As I sit upright in my chair, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look over at Yang who's giving me a solemn expression.
"You should talk to her, Ruby. If she's really your friend she'll listen. If she doesn't, she'll be hearing it from my fists soon enough, and you can quote me on that."
"Right..." I say, shakily standing from my chair.
I gulp as I get to my feet, starting to make my way past some people and over to the dark house. The excitement from earlier that made my heart pound is replaced by a new feeling that made it batter against my chest. Fear.
As I get closer my eyes adjust a bit to the dark - and low and behold - a white figure appears through the darkness.
She's sitting on the top step of the back porch, her form is dimly lit only by the light leaking from the windows and the half-moon making its way across the night sky. Her hair is up in its usual side pony tail and, from what I can make out, she seems to have some small hair accessory that looked like a crown at the top of it.
She's wearing a modest dress; white with a blue lining you could only see because it shimmered across the seams of the clothing item. She also wears those signature high heels that makes her and inch or so taller than me.
Even in the dark, just a pure silhouette, she looks absolutely stunning.
As I cautiously near her, I watch her look up briefly. Seeing me approaching - she averts her gaze back down to her phone. I realize that her phone must be the source of the flickering light I saw on my way over.
I stop about five feet in front of her and tug anxiously on the neck hole of my hoodie. The temperature seems to have dropped the further away I got from the fire and I'm really starting to feel the cold now.
Weiss looks up again to meet my uncertain gaze with a half-hearted glare.
In an unsaid question between us, she just rolls her eyes and motions her head to the side, inviting me to sit down.
I graciously accept, my heart still pounding furiously in my chest, almost making me forget about the cold.
I sit down on the other side of the step she's sitting on. Looking over at her, I notice she's still typing on her phone.
"What're you typing?" I ask in a quiet voice.
An eyebrow is raised at me, but she doesn't look over at me, and she doesn't stop what she's doing either.
"So now you're talking to me?"
Her words cut me like a knife. I might actually feel physical pain from them - hunching over momentarily and sucking in a breath to regain my bearings.
You're the one who caused this, Ruby. Fix it!
I nervously take a deep breath and set my chin in my hands, looking up at the sky. Now that my eyes are thoroughly adjusted to the dark, I can see the stars much more clearly. There are millions of them - trillions - and they were all so far out of my reach.
Just like Weiss is right now, all because of these stupid feelings I have towards her.
There isn't really an easy way to break the ice at this point, and Weiss isn't exactly helping by staring at her phone, not that I would expect her to help anyways. I'm the one who caused this, who put us in the beyond awkward situation that I have no idea how to engage in.
I crane my neck to see above the edge of the roof until I spot something interesting.
"Hey, Weiss… can you see that star." I point to the brightest dot in the sky.
Weiss sighs - but to my surprise - she moves her gaze upwards. Seeing where I'm pointing, she only offers me a shrug.
"What about it?"
"It's called the North Star. It's the brightest star in the sky - but did you know it's actually two stars that orbit each other?"
She squints as she tries to pinpoint where I'm pointing.
"Why would I know that? I'm not some science geek, Ruby."
I flinch and watch a glimpse of regret form across her face before instantaneously disappearing back into her frown. With her posture stiff she looks back down to her phone, but her hands don't move across the screen. She gives an annoyed huff of air as she turns it off and sets it down next to her.
"What else you got?" She says, sounding bored.
I perk up and resist the urge to smile.
Now I'm getting somewhere…
I crane my head out a little more, looking at the vast amount of twinkling orbs above me. Space isn't exactly my specialty when it comes to the subject, but I have a few things I remember from earth-space science back in middle school.
"Well, about every star we can see in our night sky is bigger, and brighter, than our sun."
Weiss seems skeptical, but continues looking at the sky with mild interest.
"Kind of puts things in perspective I guess." She concludes.
I nod and look around before I spot the next object I'm looking for.
"And did you know a full moon is nine times brighter than a half-moon, like it is right now." I eagerly point to the half-moon hanging in the sky. "Personally, the moon's my favorite part of space. I don't really know why - it's just neat how it looks so big to us - but in reality it's millions of times smaller than the stars around it that look like tiny specks! Cool, huh?"
Weiss doesn't say anything and, as I turn to look at her, I notice she's looking out in front of her and not at the sky anymore.
She has that look again. God, I hate that look. She looks so incredibly empty and lonely and it makes me want to strangle the me from a week ago that did this to her.
"You know, Ruby," She starts, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars."
I blink and tilt my head to the side.
"…The hell does that mean?"
Weiss swiftly turns her head to look at me and - against my will - I feel my cheeks heat up. Thankfully, I think the darkness covers it.
"It means you, you dolt!" She hisses.
I rear myself back against the railing of the stairs, surprised by her outburst. She flails her hands in the air in an attempt to gesture at what she's trying to get at, but eventually she gives up and shoves her face into her hands.
"It's just…" She looks over at me, but instantly turns away, shaking her head. "Ruby, you're just so, so… effortlessly yourself. Honest with everything you do and say, and people actually like you for it. At the beginning of the year, when you were elected, I remember thinking to myself 'Wow, this girl doesn't give a crap what people think about her.' And as it turns out, I was right. Because you really don't give a damn what people think about you - and I'm jealous of that, Ruby."
Her words rocked me, leaving me speechless.
"I can't even begin to comprehend what it must be like to not have to worry about things like your image, how people will view your family, how you have to look every single god damn day." Weiss's voice gets softer, as she realizes it's been rising. "You're just one of the stars, Ruby. And I'm the moon, sitting in the public eye for all to see... I-I'm sorry if I was unfair to you - or if I upset you in any way - I just… I have a hard time dealing with people."
As soon as she finishes speaking she shoves her face back into hands.
I know I can't stay silent any longer; I bolt upright so I'm standing on the stairs. The loud, fumbling action makes Weiss look back up in questioning.
"That's not true at all, Weiss!"
I feel my defenses breaking down and tears threatening to spill over my eyes.
"I-It was me, Weiss! I was the one who- It was an accident- I didn't mean to- Okay, listen, it was me who ignored you because I'm a grade-A asshat. It's me who's in the wrong here, Weiss. You never did anything, anything, wrong a-and god you're just perfect. You're perfect, Weiss. And this whole thing was my fault, not y-yours! I'm so, so s-sorry."
I vigorously wipe my eyes with my sleeves. I start hiccuping over my words and Weiss motions for me to sit back down, so I do. She reaches into a little purse that's resting beside her and pulls out a handkerchief, handing it to me.
I wipe my eyes again and blow my nose into it while repeatedly whispering my apologies. Weiss attempts to shush me after a while and leans over to pat my head. I lean into her touch, nuzzling her hand, relishing the jolt of electricity I feel whenever she touches me.
I feel safe under her touch, and for the time being, I can even indulge myself into imagining it was a loving action.
She tucks a few bangs that were falling into my face behind my ears and ignores my whimpering as she pulls away.
I blow my nose one more time and try to hand her back the hanky, but she puts a hand up in a distasteful motion, telling me to keep it.
I nod and quietly thank her as I look out at the bonfire.
Well, this wasn't exactly how I imagined things going…
I stealthily sneak a glance at Weiss, who's fidgeting absentmindedly with the hem of her dress. She doesn't seem mad at me, which was a good sign, but she also doesn't seem to be happy with me either.
I sniff and kick one of my sneakers on a loose board.
"So, where's Neptune?"
"What?" Weiss looks confused.
I shrug.
"A few people told me they saw you with him earlier, so I was just wondering…"
Weiss still looks a bit taken aback, proceeding to scrunch her face up cutely, like she's thinking.
"I'm unsure. I talked with him briefly earlier." She flips some bangs from her face, looking annoyed. "He's being very insistent on pursuing me, which makes him a lot less pleasant to talk to these days."
I sniff again and feel unbidden hostility run though me.
"If he ever bothers you just let me know, 'kay?"
I see Weiss look me up and down out of the corner of her eye, making my face feel hot again.
"…Alright. Just don't go getting yourself hurt you dunce."
Once again, we fall into silence. It might be silent but - inside of my head - an internal battle is raging.
Like the moon pulling the tides to and from the shore, every nerve in my body argues back and forth whether or not I should say it. I know I need to say it, but every time the moment seems right the tides are there again, pushing and pulling, not finding that much needed solution.
Even if I have to swallow my pride and - quite possibly - my last piece of dignity - I realize that it needs to be said sooner or later. I might as well grab the bull by the horns just to get it out of the way, even if it means I'll look like a complete idiot.
"W-Weiss, if I tell you something will you promise not to get mad?"
"No."
"And that you'll still be my friend?"
"…No?"
Ignoring her answers, I take a deep breath to calm my nerves, which seemed like they could jump out of my body at any second. I stand up, hearing my heartbeat thundering in my chest so loud that I hope Weiss can't hear it.
I walk slowly down the few steps to the bottom of the stairs and position myself in front of Weiss.
She seems baffled as to what I was doing, but looks on with curious eyes. I stare back at her. Taking in her gaze, those deep blue irises, the small streak running down one of her eyes, something she looked at as an imperfection - but all I see in it is a girl who tries to hard just to be herself.
I think back to all the memorable times I've been with her. Weiss, laughing at something stupid I did. Those delicate hands, clutching onto the shoulders of my jacket as we ride down a hill on my bike, always accompanied by the familiar slap on the back or thump to my head as she yells at me afterwords.
The vulnerable Weiss that is scarcely shown to anyone, the one that I strive to protect with my whole, and willing, heart.
I absolutely adore the Weiss that gets all cutesy, blushing abashedly at unbidden complements and unexpected gestures of kindness shown to her. It always makes me want to be closer to her, more intimate with her.
The strong Weiss that walks around the hallways with her head held high, and that intimidating smirk locked in place. She might call it fake, but to me, all of Weiss's expressions make up who she is, the real her.
And the Weiss right now, with the moonlight casting a shadow that accentuated every curve of her body and every strand of hair on her head. She was lovely.
"Weiss…"
It's now or never.
"I think I like you."