Chapter 9

Han hid in his room for the remainder of the day, unable to face either of the twins. He was irritated at Luke's condescending attitude. During the few days he had been on Ilum, Han had felt very much like a third wheel. Neither Luke nor Leia had told him what was going on, and instead they had used him as a messenger boy. Being flung across the room and choked was the last straw for Han who was not used to feeling so disregarded and manipulated. While Luke had denied it, Han knew the two young Jedi didn't view Han as an equal, but merely as an amusing and handy companion. Han had had enough of it.

Deciding that he couldn't ignore his hunger any longer, Han left his room that evening to get some dinner. As he approached, he heard voices and he prepared himself for a nasty encounter. Hiding in the shadows, Han observed Luke and Leia interact in the kitchen. Snarling, Han watched as Luke provided a melancholy Leia with a bowl of a stew of some kind. Han knew it was irrational, but he couldn't help but feel jealous. Before he had known that they were siblings, Han had always viewed Luke as competition and Han had been determined to win. It seemed perverse now, but Han had known that Luke had always had a thing for the Princess and it irritated him immensely to see Leia spend so much time with her brother.

But she doesn't care about you anymore Han thought bitterly to himself. She had thrown him across the room with a casual flick of the wrist, utterly unconcerned about his wellbeing. Perhaps she never had cared about him, maybe he had been a fool all along for thinking that…

"Han, please join us," he heard Luke say from the kitchen.

Startled from his musings, Han instinctively stepped back farther into the shadows. Regaining himself, Han adopted a determined expression and stepped into the kitchen.

"I made you a bowl," Luke told Han warmly, gesturing to a steaming bowl of stew at the head of the table. Choosing not to acknowledge Luke's kindness, Han sat down. Avoiding Leia's eyes from across the table, Han turned to Luke instead.

"How did you know I was there?" he asked suspiciously.

Luke merely smiled. "You have a very distinct presence, Han," he said vaguely.

Scowling, Han looked down at his stew. On a rational level, Han knew that he was ridiculous to resent Luke. After all they had been through together, Luke was like a little brother to him. But Han was nothing if not stubborn; he had been slighted and was determined to seek retribution.

"So…" Luke began after an awkward pause. "We were hoping to leave for Naboo tomorrow morning." Getting no response, Luke continued. "Leia and I would be very grateful if you would accompany us, Han."

Han snorted. "Accompany you? You do realize it's my ship you'd be taking?"

Luke paled, realizing his mistake. Before he could formulate a diplomatic way of explaining himself, however, Leia spoke.

"You have some nerve, fly boy," she said in a low voice. Luke cringed, realizing that they had reached the point of no return. "I don't care if your angry at me, but don't you dare take it out on Luke."

Han scoffed at her. "You don't care if I'm angry at you?" he responded indignantly.

"Get over yourself," Leia retorted. "I've said I'm sorry already, what more do you want?"

"For you to actually mean it!"

Han and Leia stared daggers at each other for a few moments in silence as Luke held his breath, desperate to find a way to avoid to impending conflagration. "Would you like my advice?" Luke ventured cautiously.

"No, not really," Han mumbled, still fixated on Leia. Leia merely narrowed her eyes at Han, making no indication that she had heard Luke.

"Well, I don't think either of you are being fair towards the other," Luke began, choosing to ignore Han's comment. "Han, if Leia apologized to you, I think you ought to take her at her word. And Leia," he said, turning his attention to his fuming sister, "if you really want Han's forgiveness, maybe you should explain yourself instead of screaming at him."

A tense silence of ensued as Han and Leia absorbed what Luke said. After a while, Leia was the first to speak.

"Han, I understand why you're upset," she began with uncharacteristic calmness. "But I've apologized, what more do you want from me?"

Han looked away, his anger fading away into weariness. "Ever since Endor," Han began slowly, "I've felt like you two have… shut me out. I just thought that after all we've been through, I would have earned your trust, but evidently that is not the case."

"Of course we trust you, Han!" Luke exclaimed.

"Then tell me what is going on!" Han retorted forcefully.

Luke and Leia looked at each other, seemingly communicating silently. Lowering her head, Leia exhaled slowly. After a few tenuous moments, Leia looked up at Han with a pained expression on her face. "You deserve to know, Han," she conceded. "We never told you because we feared that you would hate us if you knew the truth…"

"Hate you?" Han interrupted incredulously "What are you talking about?"

Leia looked at Luke once again who gave her a reassuring nod. "It's about our parents," she said.

Han raised an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't know your parents?"

"That's not entirely true," Leia responded. "We've actually known for a while now who our father is."

"I don't understand, why would you hide that from me?"

Leia sighed. "Because our father is Darth Vader."

Leaning back in his chair, Han shook his head in disbelief. "That can't possibly be true," he said, more to himself than to Leia. "That… that's not possible."

Luke gave a humorless laugh. "That was my reaction too when I found out."

"B-but Vader's a cyborg, he's not even human," Han stammered. "He couldn't… you can't be…"

"Han," Leia interrupted him firmly. "It is the truth."

Han sat in a stunned silence, his face paling as he considered the implications of this information. "He tortured you, Leia," Han said in a whisper. "What sort of a monster does that to his own daughter?"

Leia looked away, her eyes shining with tears. "He didn't know it at the time," Luke said softly. "Not that that excuses anything he did."

Han nodded in agreement, too flabbergasted to speak. "Now do you understand why we kept this from you?" Luke asked.

Han stared blankly at Luke, seeing his friend in an entirely new light. Suddenly Luke's powers no longer seemed amazing to him, instead they terrified him. Glancing at Leia, he thought back to what had happened yesterday morning. The raw terror he had felt when he had been pinned against the wall, unable to breath, was only comparable to the time he had come face to face with Vader himself on Cloud City.

"We aren't like him, Han," Luke said, sensing his friend's thoughts. "Surely you must know that."

"I… I need to think about this," Han said finally, standing up abruptly.

Luke nodded solemnly. "I understand, but Han remember that you don't need to fear us."

I'll be the judge of that, Han thought as he swiftly left the room.