Stef felt Lena slowly turning and trying to wiggle out of Stef's tight embrace "Mhh, Lena, don't move… you so comfy" Stef mumbled into Lena's breasts. Lena now tightened her arms around Stef, wishing she could protect her from her own inner demons. It hurt Lena a great deal when her wife was suffering.

"I'm not leaving you, love" and both of them knew that Lena wasn't only referring to her staying in bed with Stef. After Stef completely broke down yesterday they had a long, intensive talk that definitely cleared some things up in regards of why Stef was struggling so much right now. However only Lena's understanding of the situation changed, neither of them knew how to make it go away.

The thing is, Lena now knew where Stef was coming from, but she still didn't understand how her wife, her love, could slip into such serious, deep depression that was, from Lena's point of view, coming out of nowhere.

She thought her wife was happy, content. The chapter of coming to terms with her sexuality long closed. But now Tess moving in next door opened Stef's wounds again, wounds she hadn't realised were still oh so very deep and never fully healed.

Whilst she was stroking Stef's head gently and whispering sweet nothings into her ear, she decided to have a chat with Stef's Therapist later. Obviously there probably wasn't much she could do, which would help immediately, but she wanted to, needed to be there for her wife and her therapist is most likely the best person to talk to for advice.

Lena knew that soon Stef was gonna build up her walls, brush her off again. She also knew that eventually Stef would have to get over her fear of being vulnerable in front of her. She was just hoping it wouldn't be too late for her wife until then. 'stop thinking like this Lena, you have to stay optimistic and supportive for your wife' Lena scolded herself.

They stayed like this, with Lena having Stef pulled onto her chest, until they heard the kids getting up. That's when Stef was reminded again of last night and how broken her kids had seen her. Lena also felt the complete shift in her wife's body language, all at once she went completely stiff and started to get off of Lena as fast as possible.

"Ste-…" But she had already rushed off to their bathroom, head hanging, so that she wouldn't have to look Lena in the eyes. There she goes. Lena got up and put her ear on the closed bathroom door, she could her wife's quiet sobs that she was trying to hold back. "Stef, you don't have to hide from me honey. Don't feel ashamed for feeling something and showing emotion, that's healthy. As your wife I'm here for you. I want to help you heal, my love, my love, my love. Pleaase, will you come out and let me hold you. We'll hug it out for a bit. I know you, you're so strong, but you don't have to be strong all the time. Actually showing emotions is a sign of strength too. Please Stef, just open the door."

Stef slowly rose from her crouching position on the bathroom floor and slowly turned the key to let Lena in. "I'm sorry, love. I'm just so afraid that they won't feel like I could protect them anymore.. a-and I know they're gonna know something is up with me and how I know our kids they won't beat around the bush and just ask me this morning. A-and I don't know if I can handle that to be honest. I'm really sorry for being such a cry baby right now, b-but I don't think I can deal with the look in their eyes when they see me."

Lena took Stef's hand in her own, squeezing it softly. "Oh my beautiful Love, they could never not feel safe, protected or loved by you. We raised some amazing kids and I don't think anyone of them is gonna love you any less or will see you as incapable of being their mum. Because your not, you're their mum whatever may come. They are simply worried about you and want you to feel better about yourself again. So please come downstairs with me?"

At first Lena felt how her wife relaxed a little again, as she positioned her head on Lena's lap and held their entwined hands to her still slightly wet cheek. But as soon as she mentioned going downstairs with her, Stef went stiff again, holding onto Lena's hand as if her life depended on it.

Lena sighed "How about this: I'll go down first, explain a little bit of your situation to them, don't worry I will not tell them any details, and then when breakfasts ready I come and get you. But that's for now- eventually you'll have to tell them some things yourself, because I don't think it's my place to do so. For now I'll do it for you. Remember, baby steps ? "

Stef let her hand out of her tight grip again "Thank you my love" she quietly choked out.

As Lena went downstairs she could already hear the kids arguing about what was wrong with their mum, now she was actually glad that Stef asked her to come down first.

"…I don't know- she looked so-so broken. I've never seen mum cry this hard, she looked so scared and lost"

"yeh, I mean I've seen mum cry, but she never looked this scared, this panicky"

"Did you see how her hands were shaking and her voice was quivering."

"I just hope she'll be all right again, this looked pretty serious"

"I hope we can somehow help her, but she's probably going to pretend like yesterday never happened."

Lena decided it was now time for her to step in.

"Heyy… Guys, why don't you all come to the living room with me for a minute."

The kids followed her quietly and sat, huddled together on the sofa. Each of them was worried about their other mum.

"I know that you know there's something going on with Mum and I will be honest with you. Mum is currently not feeling very well, emotionally. She's feeling a little bit depressed and she has to deal with a lot of built up feelings and that is really weighing down on her. But she's still your Mum and will still be there for you. Okay?"

As Lena was looking at all of her kids with concern she felt Stef's soft but strong hands massaging her tense shoulders.

"Hey Babies" Stef whispered as she smiled at her loved ones. "I'm okay, you don't have to look at me like I rose from the dead" she tried to joke, but failed miserably.

"Mum, are you sure you're okay though?"

" Yes love, now that I'm surrounded by my beautiful family." She went over and squeezed herself next to Lena and took her hand reassuringly. " I have mama to help me get through this rough patch and you guys. I get that your probably confused and kinda overwhelmed probably with having seen me yesterday. However mama is right, just because I'm being a little bit more emotional and sad than usual doesn't mean that I can't be there for you and listen to your problems and struggles. Understand ?"

"But why are you suddenly so sad ?" Jesus was asking the question all of them were thinking about

" I-I don't exactly no why now, but I guess there was a lot of stuff that I suppressed and never really dealt with that's now resurfacing, but don't worry I'm getting help from a professional. I'm also gonna apologise in advance for any future incidents, but just know that it's really nothing you have to worry about, because at the end of the day I have you and mama and I will be fine again- I promise." There was a short pause " I love you " She whispered, her voice breaking slightly " Never ever try to think otherwise".

"We love you too Mum! So, so much"

"Yes and we could never not love you, whatever's going on with you"

" We're all here for you"

"And if we can help you in any way let us know"

" cause we'll help you too, you're our mum!"

Stef had tears in her eyes, that were slowly escaping and sliding down her cheeks.

"Oh my beautiful babies, what would I do without you, I'm so proud of you"

"C'mon, I think it's time for a big Adams Foster group hug!" Lena gestured to all of them.

Stef took a deep breath, she felt a big weight being lifted off of her. She was so worried about talking to the kids, as she felt it was really non of their concern. But now she actually felt better they at least roughly knew what was going on. It won't be as traumatising for the kids in case, if she really cannot avoid it, they see her again after having a panic attack. As well as less stressful for herself as she won't worry that much about what the kids now thought. Of course she still worried a great deal, she was still mad at herself for appearing so weak in front of her kids. Stef didn't like to show weakness in front of others, a consequence of her fathers actions in her childhood.

A topic she actually planned on talking to Lena about, she had to tell someone else apart from her therapist.