An Old Holotape

Nate sighed as he entered his office at the Castle, for the leader of the largest faction in the Commonwealth it was surprisingly sparse. Immediately across from the entry was a simple wooden desk adorned with just a pen and notebook. Hung on the wall behind it was a fully restored Minuteman flag the exact same flag that had flown at the Castle's battlements when they'd secured it from the mirelurk queen those many months ago. A more apt metaphor for the Minuteman's history could not be found if one tried.

However, Nate only had eyes for the only other piece of furniture in the room. A single metal cot placed the left of the door adorned with a simple yet clean set up sheets and pillow. After being awake for the past 80 some odd hours he was sorely tempted to just collapse into bed and rest. Painfully Nate tore his eyes away from the bed and instead made his way over the desk and sat down opening the top most drawer as he did. The inside of the drawer was almost as sparse as the room containing only an M1911A1 pistol, a box of .45 caliber rounds, and a lone holotape with "To: Nate" written in his now deceased wife's delicate script.

Placing the gun and holotape on the desk Nate began to contemplate the items. With Shawn now dead and the Institute destroyed these were the only reminders of his previous life; an antique service pistol passed from father to son since the Second World War and a holotape made by his late wife sometime before the bombs dropped. Despite Codsworth giving it to him just over a year ago he had never once listened to its contents. When he'd first received it his grief and anger at what had happened prevented him from wanting to hear it so it had been added to his kit bag where it remained for a long time.

That was until they secured the Castle and he had fully secured his position as General. While consolidating his supplies he found the holotape at the very bottom of his kit bag. Despite all the exposure to rain, radiation, and gunfire it seemed to be completely intact and he promptly inserted it into his Pip-Boy 3000. His hand had hovered over the play button for what had felt like hours but couldn't have been but five minutes as the guilt started to gnaw at him. Guilt at having let her die, guilt at having still not found their son, guilt at not listening to the tape sooner until he finally just ejected the tape and threw it in the desk drawer.

There the tape had remained, gathering dust and soaking up background radiation until today when he finally pulled it out again. Now though after facing Yao Guai, Deathclaws, Coursers, and a horde of ghouls Nate was afraid. It was strange he would fight all the horrors that the Commonwealth could throw at him with naught but a pistol and his birthday suit yet he was afraid of a dead woman's recorded voice.

Deciding that whatever was contained on the holotape couldn't possibly be make him feel any worse than he did right now he scooped it up, inserted it into his Pip-Boy and hit play wincing as a bit of feedback came over the speaker.

"Oopsie. Ha ha ha. No, no, no. Little fingers away. There we go. Just say it. Right there. Right there. Go ahead. *baby giggles* Ha ha! Yay! Hi honey! Listen..."

Nate felt tears forming in his eyes as the pain of missing both of them was almost too much to bear.

"I don't think Shaun and I need to tell you how great of a father you are... but we're going to anyway. You are kind, and loving, (Shaun laughs)... and funny! Ha ha. That's right. And patient. So patient. Patience of a saint, my mom used to say."

He closed his eyes and immediately her beautiful face filled his memory. Unlike in the past this time she appeared grainy and unfocused as though on a poor television screen.

"Look, with Shaun, and us all being at home together... It's been an amazing year. But even so, I know our best days are yet to come. There will be changes, sure. Things we'll need to adjust to. You'll rejoin the civilian workforce, I'll shake the dust off my law degree...
But everything we do, no matter how hard... we do it for our family.
Now say goodbye, Shaun... Bye bye? Say bye bye? *baby giggles*
Bye honey! We love you!"

Nate wept openly for perhaps the first time in his adult life; he wept for his wife who had her life brutally ended by Kellogg's bullet, he wept for his son who had been turned into a brainwashed lab rat by the Institute, he wept for their normal lives that had been forcefully taken from them when the bombs dropped on that fateful day.

Eventually though his sobs softened and his eyes fell on the still open drawer of his desk. Before he even realized what he was doing the old family service pistol was in his hand, the familiar weight and comforting. It had been well cared for with the exception of the two hundred years Nate had spent in cryostasis and smelled of cleaning chemicals with just a hint of nitrate from when he'd last used it. Nate realized that it would be surprisingly easy, just a few pounds of pressure on the trigger and he would be with his family again.

A knock on his door broke him from these dark thoughts "Heya Blue, you still awake?"

Nate gave an affirmative grunt and Piper walked into his office. Her trademark lopsided grin seemed to brighten the room briefly until it turned into a frown upon seeing his face and the items on his desk. "Not exactly the great day for you that it is for everyone else, huh?"

He sighed as he could never keep anything hidden from her, although his mood was probably a bit obvious at the moment.

"Just a bit. I wake up after two hundred years to find my son kidnapped, lived his entire life without me brainwashed by the Institute, and I have the lovely job to tearing down his life's work to save a bunch of people I don't even know. Topping things off I found this holotape that my wife had made before this all kicked off and well, I guess it just hit me all at once." He trailed off.

Her eyes met his and he saw them full of concern as she carefully considered her next words "I-Is that why you needed your old service pistol with the safety off?"

Checking the gun still in his hands he saw that indeed the safety was off, which was odd considering that he didn't recall turning it off. He highly doubted that he would have been careless enough to store it in the drawer with the safety off which means at some point since he'd taken it out the safety had been turned off. Carefully he thumbed the safety to "SAFE" and placed the gun on his desk pointed away from himself and Piper.

Once the gun was safely placed on his desk Piper pulled one of the chairs around to his side of the desk, sat down next to him and placed her arm across his shoulders holding him tight. "Blue I'm gonna finally be honest with you. Remember when we first met in Diamond City? When I called you Blue for the first time?"

Nate thought back he recalled bluffing his way into the city, mostly with Piper's help and giving an interview in her office. "I think it was during that interview you said it was because of my blue vault suit and later when I became the General because of the blue coat."

Piper gave a nod "I must admit I lied to you a little bit back then. True you did always wear blue outfits but that's not the only reason, it was mostly because of how sad you looked. No matter what you were doing you had this slight cloud of sadness in your eyes. When you played with Dogmeat, helped a settlement, even during our little date you had this slight bit of sadness that never seemed to go fully away."
She picked up the pistol from the desk admiring the care that had gone into keeping this ancient weapon in working order. "I'd understand you know. I wouldn't be happy about your choice but I'd understand. There was a time, after my father died and I exposed his killer, where I probably would have made the same choice had it not been for Nat." she placed the gun back in his hand and gave him the biggest hug she possibly could.

She moved to leave and as she opened the office door she said "You still have a family. All of us; Dogmeat, Garvey, Cait, Currie, Strong, Danse, Deacon, Nat, and myself are all your family now. It may not be the family you wanted or even expected when you woke up that day the bombs fell but I think I speak for all of us when I say we're glad to be a part of it."
Just as she was shutting the door she added "I never did get that second date you promised either."

The door finally closed and Nate was left in the semi-darkness with naught but a pistol, an old holotape, and his memories of a life that should have been but now never would.

A/N: Had this rattling around in my head for a while now. There are prob a thousand like it but whatever, R/R if you liked it or didn't.