Outside the shuttered window of the log cabin, there was the happy snoozing and grazing noises of Perytons. Apparently, the hay in the small covered stand was much better than the grains they had been getting. Inside, the equipment was spartan. In front of the entrance, there was a small table with four chairs. Four cots stood on either side of the small room. The back-wall of the cabin was made of natural stones and contained a fireplace that happily crackled, fed by the supply of firewood on either side of it. Zym was curled up right in front of it, the flames licking at his fireproof mane.
The cabin was another well-used point of rest for travelers on the pass, the beds old and worn out - but clean. Elves apparently were much better at respecting shared spaces than humans.
Having a shelter that also allowed their animals to rest comfortably was very welcome. Plus, every night they didn't have to spend in a tent, either too hot or too cold, was a good night.
They were snuggled up under a blanket in front of the fire. Callum's head rested comfortably in her lap. He had fallen asleep while she tousled his hair, starting into the fire forlornly. The lemon leaf tea they had brewed still steamed in its cups, filling the room with the aroma of a blue sky and summer sun.
Being on the pass was starting to feel oppressive. It was almost like they had died. With the wind still low, the atmosphere had still not advanced from fog and quiet.
Rayla sighed. Yesterday had been a full moon. She had done nothing with her power, simply slept through the night. Mountains ranked among her most favourite places to be when there was good weather to enjoy the vistas. Like this, there was no joy to be had. The weather would've been better if it was worse - at least then the days would pass quicker.
Her well-honed imagination failed due to lack of input, so boredom was claiming her mind. Up here, everything was just white and featureless under the snow. The only thing that kept her going was the lessons of sign language they held while riding. He had told her some Katolin myths and she would repeat them to herself, mouthing out the words.
Callum coughed himself awake with a rattle and sat up, to have an easier time with it.
"Two more days. Then we're off the pass and can look for somethin' to help you. Ranger station on the other side is bound to have better medicine", Rayla said, petting his back.
He simply shrugged, spat into the fire and laid back down. His mien broke her heart.
"Rayla", he said hoarsely, "I need to tell you something."
She smiled at him encouragingly, "Do you wanna do it in sign so I can practice?"
He shook his head. "Sorry. You're getting pretty good but this is not something that I want even a little misunderstood."
A worried look crept into both their faces. "Um, back when we sent the message to Claudia, I had this weird feeling that I couldn't place. When I fired that arrow, I… thought about her. How I knew her. Not how she turned out."
Rayla bristled. "Oh. You still love her."
"No. Please don't", he said, lifting a hand to pet her cheek, "I love you, so, so much. That's why I need to be honest with you. I want her to be my friend again, Rayla, that's all. I think she's a good person, deep down. If she pulls this off, I can't not give her a second chance"
"...to be your friend.", the elf said with a disbelieving frown.
"Yes", he coughed, "There's no room for her in any other way. Not after all you and I have been through. Ugh, there's still so much more to come..."
Rayla tried ignoring the sour feeling that boiled in her stomach. He was so vulnerable right now and she had sworn to protect him. After her explosion behind Honsa's tent, this should include protection from herself. All he'd done was to be honest with her, that was a good thing.
"Yep. There is", she said, far more angrily than she had wanted, "Like, you know, the whole court martial thin'; the whole dragon queen thin'; the whole war thin'… am I forgettin' anythin'?"
"The whole `moving to Katolis and staring down the nobles` thing", Callum continued with a small smile, mistaking her frustration for a sarcastic quip.
Angry and afraid, she avoided his look. "The more I think about it, the more I think you should be on your own."
Callum shot into a sitting position.
"What are you talking about?! Is this about Claudia?! Are you breaking up with me?!", he yelled hoarsely.
"It would be better for you!", she shouted over his loud protest, "I don't know how you think that court martial is gonna go, but as far as I know they're goin' to lock me up, Callum! The question is for how long! Ten years?! Twenty?! Fifty?! Anythin' past five and I'll come out so different you wouldn't find me in a crowd!"
She sagged into herself, kneading her hands. "It wouldn't be fair to make you wait for me for… for a large part of your life", she said with building tightness in her throat, then added with a feeling she placed somewhere around self-hate and jealousy, "Especially if Claudia is still on your mind... You should just go be with her..."
"Stop it! I don't want to be with her and she's not `on my mind`! You are! I told you before, if they lock you up, I'll bust you out, you angry, jealous idiot!"
"Wow, jealous idiot! Nice! Callum, even if you were able to do it, you couldn't! You're a Katolin Prince! If you attacked a Xadian prison, there would be war!"
The breath meant to challenge her snagged his own problems and stuck in his throat.
"Nothin'? Not even another insult?", she eventually asked, curtly.
"Telling you would make things worse", he said, flatly.
"Ah. And tellin' me that it would, won't?", she said, pure bile in her words.
"RAYLA!", he screamed, hurting his throat and startling her and Zym who skittered into the fire, "You just don't trust me! Not one bit! I talk to you openly about my feelings and all you can do is immediately jump to the most extreme conclusions and talk of breakup?! Okay! Fine! I didn't want to say it because it's depressing and unhelpful but sure! Maybe I'm not even a prince anymore. Maybe I'm king-in-waiting at this point! There! That make you feel better?!"
Her dim gaze spoke volumes. It did not make her feel better. Here was an expression he'd seen on himself, in the washstand of an Auxilia tent.
He was wracked by coughs again and spat into the fire, "Stop being so moon-elven with me! I'm not hiding anything from you! You need to start trusting that when I tell you something, there's not some hidden between-the-lines thing going on that needs analysing and catching!"
"Then how did you cut yourself!? Out on the other flank?! What were you doin' that made your hand bleed!? Why did you lie?!"
"You want to know so bad!? I'll tell you, then! I almost fell off the mountain, grabbing those stupid plants for you! Because you mean so much to me! I cut my hand with my knife, hanging off the cliff on a rope!"
Her expression broke to pieces as she inhaled sharply, blanching to an almost perfect white. "Y-you did w-what?", she whispered, "C-Callum… that was really, really stupid. You could've died! What is wrong with you!?"
"Wrong with me?", he scoffed, "I love you! That's what's wrong with me! And now you wanna break up?!"
"Yeah! Yeah, I do! Especially after hearin' how stupid you were bein'! I'm not worth riskin' your life for!"
"You ARE worth it! You ARE SO worth it!", he slammed his fist on the wooden floor because he felt his hoarse voice didn't do his message justice and his blazing anger needed some sort of outlet.
It was hard enough to make his hands tingle and redden.
Continuing, he cried, "Stop putting yourself down! I don't even know if I have something to go back to at this point! Something to save! If they're really all dead, you are the only one I have, Rayla! The only one! As far as I know, my entire family could be sitting right here, in front of me, being hurtful and unreasonable!"
"I've got a pretty good idea how that feels", she said with a smile, sardonic and full of pain.
Callum gave her an annoyed look that quickly turned into vicious, raw understanding.
The silence that followed while they were trying to order their thoughts was deafening.
Finally, Callum mustered the will to whisper. "I'm so stupid. It's the same for you. Your family is mostly gone and you don't know where your parents are."
"Not the same. You want to see your family again. I don't care."
"I think you do", he said, getting closer to her, spreading his arms to hug her.
She shook her head.
"No more hugs. We're done, Callum. I can't let you do this to yourself. You have somethin' to look forward to. All I see in my future is more problems. Problems that'll take a lifetime to sort out. A lifetime that's longer than yours."
The prince didn't lower his arms and approached her.
"Don't… please… don't…", she pleaded limply.
He embraced her.
"Don't", she repeated voicelessly, her arms hanging limply by her sides, "I don't want you anymore. There's nothin' but issues where I'm goin'"
"And still, there's no place I'd rather be. I walked away from my dad's door the night he died. I walked away from Katolis. I walked away from Ezran. I can't keep doing that, walk away from the people and the things I love."
He coughed, then continued, "You want me gone? Honestly? Then tell me again and I'll walk out of that door right there and you'll never see me again. But I don't think you want that. I think you're still on your warrior princess trip, trying to do it all by yourself. I don't want your sacrifice. Stop it. Don't push me away."
He sat there with his arms around her for what felt like hours. Waiting for her answer with a thunderous sound of drums in his ears. The only way he knew that she was awake was that she was breathing, raggedly.
He eventually whispered, "We're almost through. I'm right here, with you."
The pinpricks in his nose turned into tears when she still didn't say anything and his embrace turned into an almost painful grapple, "Please, Rayla, I'm holding on by a hair. Please. Please don't do this. Stay with me!"
She choked on tears, finally returning his embrace, "I don't deserve you! I'm bein' terrible! In a moment when all I should do is hold you up, I can't get over myself! I don't know why this is so hard! Why do you even want me? What have I ever done to earn your love? Your respect? How do you deal with me?!"
"No more talk of `earning`. Rayla, I just love you, okay? I'm sorry I called you an idiot, and I'm sorry I was being selfish. I should've thought about you more."
They held each other, their arms and legs meshing until it seemed like they were two ends of rope, tied together in a firm knot. A sad, sheepish look passed between them which turned into a tearful, deep and loving kiss that washed the frown off both their faces.
Rayla was busy studying the renewing fuzz on his chin with her fingertips when he pushed her away, lightly, to allow their lips to separate.
Zym sleepily walked out of the fire, limply brushing off embers.
"Rayla", the prince said with realization in his voice, "I don't think you have to worry so much about the court martial. If the Queen of Dragons doesn't call off the war, you won't get a fair trial and we're gonna have to run. If she does, she'll protect you, I'm s-ah?-", he arched away and brought his face into the bend of his elbow to sneeze violently.
After blowing his nose, he continued, "If they lock you up, I'll fight for you, with every bit of diplomatic power I have. Then, I'll find you in any crowd. Even if it takes fifty years. I'll be there, all crusty, dry and wrinkled up. That's a Royal Katolin promise."
His voice was so firm, so earnest, it sent a flutter through Rayla. He was not joking.
Right then, she noticed something odd. Her breath had quickened, seemingly for no reason. She shifted uneasily, then flushed to the tips of her ears as realization dawned like a blue sun on yellow sky.
"Uh. Are you okay?", he asked, extending a hand to feel her forehead, "You're really warm. I hope I didn't pass this stupid flu on to you..."
Before they had started this adventure, these feelings had indeed been known to her only as a marker of bad health.
'Oh! Oh no! This is the... thing!', she thought to herself, her heart booming, 'He's the perfect person!'
Trepidatiously, she took stock of the situation. He was very sick, it was dangerous and they both were raw and sad.
Yikes.
Definitely not the perfect moment.
She scrambled out from under the blanket, avoiding to look at him.
"Uh, n-no!", she laughed nervously, "I'm just gonna go outside for a sec to cool off!"