Woah hello again! It's me Tap with an early update!
This story got its first review- Shoutout to the awesome shejams!-
And it made me so happy that I got right to work on the second chapter! Thank-you so much if you've given this story a favourite or a follow! I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far! This chapter takes place a few weeks after the first.
So without further ado- Here's an early update- It's chapter two!
(I don't own Batman)
Beware Of Flying Ice Cream:
Chapter Two: A Little Birdy Told Me...
(Alternate Chapter Title: Tiana makes dumb decisions.)
"Rightyo, here you go mam- One cookie dough crunch sundae, with an extra ounce chocolate syrup, two oreo biscuits, one spoonful of rainbow sprinkles, and with exactly eight swirls of ice-cream." Tiana gently sets her creation down on the counter, watching in dazed sort of irritation as the moronic creature in front of her, screws up its nose in disdain.
"I said two ounces of chocolate syrup-" Tiana's mind flashes to an earlier conversation with one of her coworkers- on the afternoon shift.
"Tiana- you can't keep glaring at the customers! One of these days the you-know-what is going to swing by to find out why his profits are going down- and he's going to see you glaring at all our business and you're going to get fired!"
A roll of the eyes. "He's not going to drop by Meg, when was the last time you saw a glimpse of his sorry arse anywhere near us? Other than to hand over our paychecks of course."
Meg counts out the correct change in her palm, passing the money over with a bright smile, and a bubbly laugh. "Thank you, come again!" Her voice rises over the din once more, embracing the lull in foot-traffic. "It won't be that way for long, if you keep scaring everybody away. Hell Tiana, just smile and try not to shove any more ice-cream in someone's hair alright? I like you. Last idiot I had working with me was deader than a drowned rat floating down the sewer pipes."
Meg's hands clasp the lever on the soft-serve machine. "Look just practise breathing or something. You got the late-shift because your tough, not because you act it. You've already had one strike, two more and your out."
"That will be six dollars please." Tiana's voice drones out in a monotone, resisting the glare but lacking anything that could even be remotely described as enthusiasm. Those swirls were perfect damn it. A little less chocolate syrup never hurt anyone.
The girl huffs, pulling out a shiny black card that couldn't have looked more out of place than her hairdo. Tiana's eyes flick from the card, to the girl, and then back again. "We don't take credit-" Although that was because her boss had forgotten to replace the PDQ "-cash only." Her thumb juts out, pointing to the sign on her left. "Cash only."
The girl sneers, before rummaging around her wallet with a sigh, pulling out a crumpled one hundred dollar bill, and Tiana fights to keep her annoyance from visibly flitting across her face. And instead starts going through the register- as a general rule only two hundred or under was kept in there as a time, the rest was stored in the safe out back. 'To deter thieves.' Rarely would they keep anything higher than a fifty in the tray, which meant- she had to sort through all these smaller bills. To find the correct amount of change.
Tiana's eyes rise up along with her hands, dumping the pile of bills and coins in the lady's hand, along with the sundae. "Thanks for your patronage." Do not sneer, just be civil. "Come again."
The customer rolls her eyes, dumping the change in the tip bin with a careless wave and Tiana doesn't know whether to be pleased or to slap her across the face for wasting so much money. Her eyes stay locked on the tip-jar in confusion. What was the correct course of action here? Her voice rises as she turns to leave. "Wait."
The lady pauses, the clacking of her ridiculously overpriced heels stops. "What?" How one person could sound so damn rude with one word was a mystery. It was almost impressive.
Tiana awkwardly tucks her hair behind her ear, feet shuffling as she looks across the store- Oh look an unclean table; How interesting.
"You don't want to walk around like that in these parts, lady, it's not…" A puff of annoyed air escapes her. Crap, maybe that idiot's conscience was rubbing off on her. "-It's not exactly a safe area. You best get out of here whilst you've still got a bit of daylight left."
"Are you threatening me!?" There's a screech of outrage and Tiana's stare whips up from it's gaze upon the floor.
"What!? No- I'm trying to give you a bit of advice damn it." It wasn't like she meant for it to sound like a threat. Maybe she wasn't all that adept at hiding her bitterness today, but at least she was sort of trying to do the right thing.
The lady turns her nose up with a haughty giggle. "I don't need your advice." And without another word, she strides out, the door swinging shut behind her.
Tiana bristles, but the anger evaporates as she sets her eyes upon the tip jar. At least she tipped well. But she'd be dead by the morning.
The clock seemed to chime ominously from it's post upon the wall. Each passing second, ticking by, louder and more daunting than the first. No. Tiana chides herself. This is not your problem. It's almost closing- you need to clean up instead.
The haze outside, seemed to be spreading. The dark clouds, threatening to suffocate the city. Stuck up primadonnas are not your problem Tiana. Ice cream is.
Her feet plod to the door and she sticks her head out. No- Tiana no. Her customer was still in sight, strolling aimlessly, a fair way down the sidewalk. See, she's fine. No need to do anything stupid. She was about to head into gang territory. She'd be eaten alive if she kept going at that pace.
Tiana's locks the door, keys jingling as she switches the plate on the door to closed. You dunderhead Tiana. She doesn't need your help. She's fine.
Nevertheless, Tiana's legs start working, the soles of her leather boots scuffing against the concrete. A winter wind whips up, and she shivers a little. She may work in an ice-cream parlor but holy smokes was it cold. She should've brought a jacket.
Her taser weighs down her back pocket, it probably shouldn't be as comforting as it is, but Tiana's never been one for sacrificing security over morals.
Oh shit. She stops, eyes scanning the road ahead, nothing. Nothing but garbage, derelict buildings, and about five burly figures dragging something into an alley.
Right. Because that's not totally conspicuous at all. Her fingers twitch and Tiana debates investigating further- because you know; that would be a completely ludicrous idea. She's 5'5 and whilst she's not exactly short, she's never exactly been the tallest swirl on the cone.
Nevertheless she starts walking forward- muttering to herself about stupid rich idiots who seemed to think that money solved everything.
The closer to the alley she ventured. The more she could hear the sounds of someone's muffled yelling. Oh crap was this a kidnapping or something else? Heh, I thought kidnappings were only used in movies or comic books to reinforce how rich a person is. Great. She should really turn around now- maybe call the cops. Not that they'd come but she could always try. Maybe she should call Di- Mr Grayson? Oh even better. That fool's stupid nickname was starting to stick. Oh pink speckled cheetos! She can hear words now.
A gun goes off and Tiana's instinctively taking a step backwards, a hand flying to her taser. Her heartbeat pounding savagely. Now might be the time to run.
There's a lot of thumping and cursing and it almost sounds like… Are they beating themselves up?
Brandishing her taser out in front like it's some sort of sword Tiana pokes her head out and around the corner. Only to find herself face to face with a very surprised looking Bird-guy. If vigilantes could look surprised that is. It was kind of hard to tell actually, what with the white pupils and the whole domino-mask aesthetic, thing going on.
"What are you doing here?" Bird-guy's voice drags her out of her musings and Tiana's brow furrows just a bit because that is not what she expected him (Well, Tiana's assuming it's a he, but you never know, they could just as well not be) to sound like.
Her mouth opens, as she fumbles for an excuse, gaze flicking from the gobsmacked fashionista leaning against the alley, to the groaning mass of thugs on the ground, and then back to the hero. Tiana finds she doesn't have one, so instead, she parrots back "What are you doing here?" Crossing her arms over her chest, and almost shocking herself with the electrodes of her taser.
The hero stares at her for what seems like an eternity and Tiana starts to fidget in agitation. Feeling an immense wave of guilt, and then possibly anger, before she gestures rudely to the shell-shocked victim. "She was in my store… acting all rich and snobbish-" Her shoulders rise up, and fall back down in the perfect replica of a sulking teenager trying to avoid getting grounded. "-And I thought to myself that she was gonna get herself stabbed. And damn it, she tipped well so I… followed her… out of gratitude"
Tiana clears her throat a little, embarrassed at herself at Bird-guy's continued stare. "You… followed someone, you knew was likely to be mugged-" Neither of them paid any mind to the lady who had by now, sunk down against the wall. "-Without calling the police, or alerting anyone to the fact that you were also likely to be mugged."
His voice rises towards the end, and Tiana can practically see the disbelief rolling off him. "Are you insane?"
Oh hell no. "Excuse me?" Her former guilty expression is replaced in an instant, the all-too-familiar scowl back on her face like it never left.
"You're a civilian-" There's a bit of frustration leaking into his voice. Wow- for a hero he really needed to get a grip on his emotions. "What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that a customer-" Her hands rise up, and start waving animatedly "-was going to get her royal arse handed to her-"
"You don't have any training, nor are you equipped to handle multiple threats at-"
"-And because I actually give a flaming crap, unlike most of this city might I add-"
"-Once. You willingly put yourself, and the victim in danger. You should've called someone-"
"I am not taking life advice from some masked, birdbrained, idiot. Who's running around in spandex-"
"It is not spandex! And I am fully trained and qualified-"
"To be working at a strip bar maybe, but do any of you heroes actually have a license?"
"W-what?" His voice tapers off in uncertainty, but Tiana's on too much of a roll now to care. Jabbing her finger into his chest."Vigilantes!? Do any of you actually have a license or some crap that say you have any right to run head first into danger of the rest of the population!? If I damn well want to run around like a headless chicken trying to electrocute people in a fancy-dandy costume- then why the hell can't I?"
"Like I said before- we- meaning me- are trained. You-" He accentuates the word with a frustrated growl "-Are not. Because you are a civilian. Whose day job is working at an ice-cream parlor." Tiana goes to bite something back but stops. Her brow scrunching up in confusion.
"How did you know that?" Her arms come to rest on either side of her hips as she glares up at the hero.
"What?" He sounds annoyed. Good. Serves him right for attempting to lecture her the jerk.
Tiana's eyes narrow. "That I worked at an ice-cream parlor. I never told you that."
"Yes you did." He sounds on guard, but the tone he uses; It's like he's talking to a particularly dense toddler, and it makes Tiana's hackles rise.
"No. No I didn't- I told you that I was working at my store. I never told you what that was." Tiana holds her taser out in front like it was a weapon. "So wanna try that again, huh buddy?" Idly some part of her realises that she could never be a match for him, and that her 'threat' was about as threatening as a disgruntled kitten.
"The name's Nightwing and look- I don't have time for this." He sighs, hand flying up to pinch the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb. "Look, the police are on their way alright. Just stay. Here." And before Tiana can say rhubarb, he's gone. Grappling away, and into the night. It doesn't stop her from throwing her shoe at him of course- It misses but that's not the point.
Tiana throws her hands up in the air and turns her gaze to the still-in-shock lady on the ground. "Can you believe him?"
She kicks her shoe into the pavement, before wincing in pain and grumbling under her breath. "Stupid Jerk. Didn't even answer the damn question."
The sound of sirens hits her ears and Tiana debates just walking away, but the woman staring at her stops her in her tracks. "Damn, this is gonna be a bitch to explain huh?" With a noisy exhale, Tiana sits herself down next to the blissfully silent lady.
"How much do you wanna bet that I'm going to get arrested?"
It turns out, that Tiana does not in fact, get arrested. However she does get yet another lecture. And then another. And then by the end of the night, she's had at least four lectures, almost punched several people, and, apparently, because of her absolutely wonderful luck; had to spend three freaking hours, getting interrogated by some macho asshole with a bad crew cut, and sipping crappy coffee at the station.
Seriously. She had nothing to do with this; Not to mention; Tiana didn't give a damn that this macho asshole was the chief. It wasn't that she trusted, or even liked Nightwing. But no way in hell was she ratting him out to this guy. She could almost taste the pollution. If he ever came by her parlor. She was so going to spit in his milkshake.
With yet another repetition of her answers, spouting the same old crap she'd told the idiot when she first got here, Tiana was ready to deck him. 'No I do not know who Nightwing is. Yes he was already there when I got there. No I did not see what he looked like. Blah, Blah, Blah.' She just wanted to go home already.
"Chief Redhorn sir- there's been a lead on the Smith case." Tiana has never ever been more grateful to someone in her entire life. Smiling brightly at Dick, as he pushes the door open, supposedly unaware of her presence.
"Can't you see I'm in the middle of something rookie!?" Francis Redhorn's firm stare bores into Dick, as he appears to notice Tiana for the first time. Liar- He waved when I came in.
"Uh sorry sir- I guess I can drop these off after your finished-"
"No need." Tiana smoothly cuts in, flashing a sneer at Chief Redhorn. "I was just leaving." The man almost goes as purple as a scoop of boysenberry Ice-cream but Tiana couldn't care less. She may have locked up, but she still had to get back elsewise she'll get another strike for not cleaning the store properly.
She all but knocks Dick down in her haste to leave, but manages to flash a smirk back over her shoulder as the door shuts behind her with a bang.
Dick- who had recovered and slipped out behind her, falls easily into place. Walking next to Tiana, humming the latest pop song under his breath.
"Sooo-" He draws out the sound, easily stepping in front of her to block her rampage through the station. "Need a lift?" He grins, the smile not quite reaching his eyes and briefly Tiana wonders if she's done something wrong.
"No." She huffs out. "I can walk." She goes to step around him when once again- he twists and repositions himself in front of her.
Dick raises a brow. "Hmm. It's a half-hour walk from here to the store."
Tiana can feel the anger growing again. What was with people today? And thinking she was weak damn it? "I am perfectly capable of walking thank you. I have legs. I'm going to use them." Again, she walks around him, but this time he doesn't step out in front, and using it to her advantage, Tiana surges forward, marching steadily towards the door.
"Tiana. Wait will you?"
His hand lands on her shoulder and it happens so fast, that soon Tiana finds herself staring at the steadily growing red mark pulsing on his cheek. Her hand still raised in the air from where she struck. "Sorry-" She winces. She'd always had a bit of a bad reflex to that. "Reflex."
Dick blinks and Tiana gets hit with the distinct impression that she was once again being studied. Taking a breath she explains "Dick- I have had a very long afternoon full of idiots, and I really, really would just like some time to myself. Please."
He's silent for a moment before a wide grin splits across his face. "You called me Dick."
Tiana takes back any gratitude she ever had for this guy. Ever. "What." Her voice is flat. Maybe she should slap him again? No- she was in a precinct full of cops. Probably not the smartest idea.
Dick laughs, the sound is actually quite pleasing, but Tiana feels her eyebrow raise anyway. His arm slings over her shoulder and she just barely resists the urge to introduce his face to her fist and instead growls at him.
He ignores her, laughing and instead steering her towards the door- the earlier tension broken. "I knew we were friends Green." He throws his arms out, and Tiana inwardly likens him to a peacock. "-and because we're friends." He continues, thoroughly distracting. "-You're going to hop in the passenger side, and I'm going to give you a lift."
Wait what? Her heels plant in the ground but he stops pushing so she almost trips herself up.
"I'm not just going to let you walk back in the dark and in the rain Green." What? It was raining? Oh. Right fine. If it was raining she'd hitch a ride- but that was the only reason.
"Fine." She slides into the passenger side, just as Dick turns the key in the ignition. The porsche roars to life, and pulls out of the parking lot.
It's silent for a few minutes before Tiana opens her mouth to try and clear away the awkwardness. "You… drive a porsche?"
Dick chuckles, pulling out into the right hand lane. "Yep. She's a good car."
The silence returns for a few minutes, minus the sound of rain, pattering on the roof. Tiana has never been good with quiet. Not really. "I met your favourite bird-guy today."
That starts the conversation, Dick glances over to her before returning his gaze to the road. "Oh really? Was he as devilishly handsome as me in real life?"
Tiana scoffs. "Not really he was a total jackass though." Dick coughs, a little startled, and Tiana feels the need to elaborate. "I mean, don't get me wrong, saving people is great and all but do you know I've been lectured four times today!? The first time was him and I'm blaming him for all the rest."
She continues. "So Okay. Yes I did a dumb thing. I acknowledge the fact that I did a dumb thing, and maybe next time I might think twice before following a stupid idiot out into the dark. But what was I supposed to do?" Oh yeah she's going to rant at him. He wanted her in the car, the sucker was going to have to suffer through this.
"I wasn't just going to look away because unfortunately, I'm one of those people who's cursed to actually give a bit of a shit.-" Tiana stops there to give a bit of a thoughtful hum. "-Kind of like someone else annoying that I know, who just waltzed on in to a bloody gunfight, and got himself shot in the shoulder." She scowls over to Dick, who has the grace to look a little chastised. "Actually, seeing as your the only one who hasn't tried to lecture me on my crappy life choices, you're forgiven for being late to Ice-cream friday last week."
Dick coughs a little again, with a half smile on his face. "Thanks?"
Tiana huffs. "Yeah, you bet it's thanks mister. If I hadn't forgiven you you wouldn't be getting any more ice-cream." The car pulls up outside the parlor and Tiana hops out, fumbling for her key.
"This doesn't mean we're friends either- Just because you gave me a ride, and I'm using that infernal nickname, it does not make us friends… more like casual acquaintances."
Dick just nods easily, snickering. "We're friends Green. You can't deny it forever."
The door swings open and she's stepping inside- pausing once to shout a half-mumbled thanks over her shoulder.
The sound of the car pulling away has her pulling on a pair of gloves and tackling the pile of dishes in the sink.
It takes longer than it should for Tiana to realise that despite her absolutely crappy day, full of crappy people, she's smiling.
There we go! Nightwing's turned up :D And it looks like Tiana is her usual people-friendly self.
In response to the first review- The rest of the batfam will absolutely be turning up at some point or other in the future. But not for the first few chapters at least :) It will be interesting to see how Tiana gets on with them won't it?
Thankyou!
As always, favouriting, following or reviewing will absolutely make my day! So if you find the time dear reader, go ahead and talk to me ^^ I don't bite! And questions fuel my imagination! (Also still looking for that Beta haha ^^)
~Tap